Realisation.
Written for The Sober Universe's "Going Away" Challege.
Dedicated to ToManyLetters.
James Sirius Potter had been dreaming of Hogwarts since he was about five years old. Up until that point Hogwarts was a place where his favourite stories came from, yet still a distant future to which no young boy gave much thought. This changed however, when his idol and surrogate big brother, Teddy Lupin headed off to begin his magical education, making the stories that much closer, that much more real and Hogwarts a million times more desirable. For James suddenly every birthday was that one year closer and by the time his eleventh birthday approached his excitement had grown to rather epic proportions and he spent his time informing everyone he encountered that he would be leaving soon. Then he received his letter, amist the chaos caused by several young children clammering to 'read' it. He wasn't sure what happened but his family no longer requested the subject of Hogwarts be banned and he no longer mentioned it in every second sentence.
He was not at all nervous. Sure, he knew he would miss his family but none of the usual qualms of an expectant first year plagued him. His mind was far too preoccupied with imagining the adventures he would soon enjoy. In fact he spent so much time daydreaming about Hogwarts that September first crept up quite unannounced. He went through the day in a daze, his mind not quite able to wrap itself around the truth; he was actually going.
It still hadn't really hit him as the Potters hurried toward the platform, Lily clinging to his arm tearfully and Albus sulking behind their father and pretending not to care:
"Jamie do you have to go?"
He said his goodbyes more as if he was going to a friend's house for the weekend than leaving for ten months:
"Well see you at Christmas, love."
Then he was on the train in a whirl of Weasley cousins and Teddy was guiding him to a compartment and cheerfully asking how he was coping:
"Really Teddy, I'm fine."
He hung his head out the window, waving until his family was a tiny dot in the distance. He really was fine; he just didn't understand where his excitement had gone. He felt numb as he sat down and wondered when it would hit him. He was going.
It didn't while the train spend through the countryside and it wasn't when he was herded towards the lake with the other first years. Hagrid's friendly face beaming down at him, wanting to reminisce:
"Alright there James? I remember when…"
It wasn't as the castle loomed above them in all its magnificence or as Neville…no, Professor Longbottom led them into the Great Hall, with a friendly wink just for him:
"You will be sorted into one of four houses; Gryffindor…"
It wasn't as he sat, hat slipping over his eyes to block his view of the outburst the name Potter had caused or as he bounded of to join his cousins seconds later:
"Knew you'd join us mate."
It wasn't as the prefect led them to the Gryffindor Tower or as he met his new dorm mates and reluctantly answered their questions:
"Is your father really Harry Potter?"
Nor was it later when he owled his family or when he discovered the handmade card Lily and Al had hidden in his trunk:
"We'll miss our big brother."
He slides into bed, it is soft and warm and he is so very sleepy. He tries to block out the sounds of the over excited boys in his dorm:
"Do you reckon Harry Potter had this room?"
He's not sure when it hit him. Perhaps when he helped Fred turn Miranda Corner purple and gained his first detention. It might have been the time he inadvertently discovered the kitchens with Jason Creevy and they became best friends. Or maybe it just slowly seeped into the daily routine of school life, worming it's way between the late night adventures and detentions, between the friendly chats with Teddy and the constant letters home. Somewhere along the way realisation struck, he was just far too busy to notice and now soon he'll be going home.