DISCLAIMER: 3 guess what I'm going to say….nah, I'll just tell you. I don't own The Office.
So, this takes place on the night of Casino Night. I really hope you enjoy it!
Pam watched as he disappeared out the door. She felt sick. She felt dizzy. She felt pain. It hurt to breathe, to be, to exist. She thought she might die. After the kiss, she had pulled back, flashes of both Roy and Jim in her mind like strikes of lightning.
"I…can't." Jim had pulled back too then, studying her. She could see silver lines on his face, like delicate spider webs, the paths of fallen tears.
"You're really going to marry him?" He'd murmured. Did she have a choice? Maybe.
"I…I have to." She hated her voice when she remembered it – the way it sounded weak and questioning. Jim shook his head silently.
"Jim." She'd said it softly. She didn't know why. He was filling her mind, just a blaze of light in her head. She tasted the name of her lips; it was salty from tears and light. Jim stared at her for a moment. She could see every word he'd ever wanted to say in his eyes. She could see pain and depth and sorrow and hurt and love and something precious. He took a step backwards and paused. And then he'd slipped his hands away from hers and slowly walked out. She'd wanted to call out to him, run after him, take his hands, and hold him. Anything. But the words stuck in her heart and her throat, and she had watched him disappear. Now, she felt nothing but hurt and love. She had lied – he hadn't misinterpreted. She was a fool, she loved him, and she always had. She'd been a coward, pretended it wasn't real and she'd lost her chance. He was gone. The tears came steadily now, slipping down her pale cheeks, dripping down her chin. She couldn't breathe in enough air and she panicked. Was she having a panic attack? She leant against her desk and slid down to the floor in the darkness and shadows of the office. She sobbed silently into her knees and reminded herself to breathe in and out. She didn't even hear the footsteps until someone sat down beside her. She peeked out from behind her hands sadly. It was Andy. She had no strength to care about anything right now, she didn't care if Michael was there or Dwight or Angela or the entire office. But the way Andy looked at her, awkwardly, unsure, full of sympathy and compassion only made her sob harder then ever. She felt him shift uncertainly beside her and after a moment, he fished out a tissue and handed it to her. She took it and sniffed.
"Was it Jim?" Andy's voice and the name that escaped his lips seemed to make the shadowy room shatter into a million pieces. His question was answered when Pam burst into a fresh bunch of big, salty tears.
"There, there." He whispered, awkwardly patting her shoulder. He clearly had no idea what to do, but his innocent sweetness somehow comforted her.
"He said…he said…he said he…he…" She stumbled over her tears and gulps.
"Loved you?" Andy supplied. Pam nodded miserably. Andy stared into space for a moment. He really wanted to be anywhere else but here, next to a solemn, sobbing Pam but she looked so heartbreakingly sad, he had to stay. He managed to piece together the rest of the story – it wasn't rocket science. Andy sung on high notes and wore crazy ties but he wasn't a (well, complete) idiot. He saw how Jim looked at Pam. Andy hesitantly, gently pulled Pam into a hug and she cried into his shoulder until he could feel moisture on his shoulder.
"Just…breathe." He desperately tried to give advice.
"I…can't." She whispered painfully, so he let her cry.
"I've never seen anyone cry so much." He whispered without thinking and to his surprise Pam let out a muffled laugh.
"Sorry." She smiled sadly and pulled back, wiping a few stray tears away. She raked a hand through her hair and smiled weakly.
"Oh…I am so sorry! Andy, look at your shirt." She sniffed, noticing her patch of tears. He waved her concern away.
"Listen…Pam. I'm not a love expert, but…well, Big Tuna loves you. With all his heart and soul and…that sort of love just doesn't disappear. You love him too. I can tell, Pam. And, well, you're kinda like, Romeo and Juliet only without the families and dyingness and stuff. And also, Big Tuna isn't a wimp like Romeo." Pam let out another sad laugh and Andy hurried on.
"Well. Just…don't give up okay? It'll work out. True love isn't rare, Pam. It just takes the people to figure it out and take a leap of faith." Andy stood up and dusted off his pants. He took a box of tissues of Pam's desk and set them gently beside her. And then, in a true Andy Bernard fashion, he walked out the door, whistling Rockin' Robin. Pam smiled in the darkness, the churning in her stomach fading and as she watched Andy disappear down the stairs, she knew she had made a friend for life.
Thankyou so much for reading! Hope you liked it. Please review and let me know what you think – it would mean heaps to me.