The Wager
Part 1 - Cross Marian
There were three things in life that Cross Marian enjoyed above all others: wagers, wine, and women. This particular situation involved all three.
"No way, Cross. There is absolutely no way." Finishing what was left in her wineglass, Klaud Nine reached across the table to seize the bottle in front of Cross. She almost knocked over one of the few candles giving light to the empty mess hall. No one else was ever down here this late at night.
"I swear, Klaud, he must be." Cross laughed, a deep throaty laugh. "See, he even has me saying it. 'He'."
Klaud tipped the bottle into her own glass, filling it almost to the brim before returning the bottle to the table. She raised the glass to her lips and sniffed at it testingly. "I don't believe it. I refuse to believe it. There is absolutely no way. How could he have gone undetected for so long?"
Cross took the bottle back from Klaud and refilled his own glass. This wine, the one he had been drinking before Klaud snatched it away, was a French vintage from the late 1860's. Flowery, with a deep burgundy color and a dry aftertaste. Exactly the sort of wine Cross liked. He filled the glass to just below half-full, the proper amount if you wanted to actually appreciate what you were drinking. As much as Cross enjoyed drinking with Klaud, the woman did do the most appalling things with her wine.
"How could he have gone unnoticed? Easy. It's not like we check on these things. And Tiedoll, well he's not the most observant of us, is he? He could have made a mistake in the initial record."
"But why would he pretend," Klaud hiccupped. "Wh-why would he possibly want to keep it a secret?"
Cross laughed again, smiling as a faint blush stole across his companion's cheeks. "Surely you, Nine, can think of a reason why a woman might want to stay hidden in the Black Order. Or have you been a General so long that you've forgotten what it was like being one of the rank-and-file? Have you seen how all the men look at Lenalee?" Images flashed in Cross's head, unbidden – images of Lenalee smiling, Lenalee sleeping, Lenalee showerin… - Cross brought his mind firmly back to the conversation.
"Naaah, it wasn't like that! Back when we just got here? Wazzn't all that bad." Klaud took another long swig of her wine. On her shoulder, Lau Jimin chittered reprovingly.
"Oh, have you forgotten when Winters snuck into your quarters to watch you undress, then? Or when Tiedoll and I cut a hole into the womens' showers so we cou-"
"Tiedoll was in on that!?" Shock and anger mingled in Klaud's voice with… was that self-satisfaction? Klaud had always been proud of her appearance. Maybe she had never realized it had the same effect on Tiedoll as it had on all the others. She hiccupped again, and tried to hide it by taking another drink. "Anyway… yeah, yeah, I get your point, Cross."
"So you see why he might want to keep it a secret? Honestly, what right-minded woman would want to endure all that? It's only gotten worse in the last ten years, you know."
"Aaaaaah, still think s'wazzn't that bad after all, y'know," Klaud mumbled. Her glass was almost empty again. Cross pushed another bottle across the table to her – a bottle of something a little less expensive. He wanted the rest of the burgundy for himself. She took it gratefully and filled her glass again, slopping a little over the top this time. The wine soaked into the wood of the mess-hall tables, leaving a stain only just discernable in the candlelight. "How d'ya think he does it, though?"
"That's the real question, isn't it," replied Cross. "You'd think someone would have found out by now. But look at him, he's probably the only 'man' in this castle who doesn't spend his nights pining for Lenalee. Or doing worse than pining." Images of Lenalee lying on her bed in lingerie, images of Lenalee lying on her bed without even lingerie. No, no, here and now. Cross took another sip of his wine, trying to right himself. "He must have something worked out. No one ever sees him shower. No one ever sees him get changed into his uniform. And every time he gets injured…."
"Yesh, I'd notished that one too," Klaud slurred. Lau Jimin hopped down onto the table and tried to take Klaud's glass away, but she swatted the little monkey on the head and put him back on her shoulder. She blinked deliberately, getting her bearings back. "I've never figured out why he insists on bandaging his chest every time he gets hurt. Well, y'know… Why don't we just call it a wager?"
The very words Cross Marian had been hoping for.
"And what do you propose as the stakes, Klaud?"
"If I win, I want some private time with that cute little apprentice of yours."
"Fine, fine. And if I win?"
"Then I'll give you some priva-"
"I've got a better idea, Klaud. Why don't you help me get out of this idiotic castle? You know how much I hate it here. There's real work to be done, but they want me behind a desk so they can keep an eye on me. I need out."
Klaud sighed, looking briefly disappointed. "Okay, fine, Cross Marian. If you want my help to leave the castle, you can have it. IF you're right."
Cross grinned expansively. "Excellent. Then I'll prove it to you, within a fortnight. Yuu Kanda is absolutely, positively a woman."