A/N: Set in Neal's first year with Peter, where they are building on that friendship which becomes the essence of who they are.
To people on the outside it looked like Peter was the one who started the whole thing. That he'd taken his role as handler to the extreme and started being over protective and clingy towards his C.I. What they didn't know… what they didn't see because Neal is so good at ensuring people don't see, is it was actually said C.I who started it all, leaving Peter no choice - unless he went totally against his own moral code - but to take on a role his was, admittedly, born to play.
It started with little touches and a lot of invading of personal space. After a close call that really wasn't much considering their combined experiences, but still resulted in Neal being his constant shadow for the rest of the day, he decided to he needed to do something about it.
"I think it's kind of sweet." El says when he raises the issue that had been plaguing him since day one over dinner.
Peter couldn't argue with her. Secretly he'd been thinking the same. It wasn't like he had some repressed macho-male ego that needed protecting, but he was still a guy and receiving such outward shows of affection from another guy was slightly odd. Still, just because he felt he couldn't categorise it didn't mean Peter couldn't appreciate the gesture, and for every show of affection received, he returned. Felt almost compelled to really, especially when Neal would look at him in that way which was just to the left of nervous with a hint of appreciation. Not acknowledging that look of utter desperation to know someone cared? That would be cruel.
It still bugged him though, because it just seemed so... not Neal... at least not the Neal he chased around the world and eventually caught in his own back yard. Peter's not stupid, he knows as a criminal - a conman, it's his MO to play on people's emotions. A confidence man needs people to trust him for his cons to work, but there was something about that shy smile that sparked all of his protective instincts, the one which was rarer than the blinding grin he threw around, the one which showed Neal's youth and communicated a lifetime of insecurity.
"Other's think he's conning me." He says out loud.
"You don't." She reads him expertly.
"There's something up with him, but I just can't put my finger on it."
El frowns at him. "Well it's obvious isn't it?"
Peter looks at her expectantly, not even acknowledging he's conning his own wife into giving him the answers he's too afraid to provide for himself.
"You're probably the only consistent authority figure he's had in his life who doesn't want something from him."
"But I do want something from him." He returns lightly, truly not understanding.
El shakes her head like she thinks he's being dense on purpose. "You want him to work hard and do his best." She laughs. "That's not the same as wanting him to, say…. rob an art gallery? Or forge a passport? What you want isn't for you… Not just for you," she amends when he makes a face that says that isn't exactly true. "It's for him, you want him to learn how to use his skills for good. What you get out of his good work is just a bonus."
Peter, confused frown fixed like he's had bad Botox, falls back in his chair and silently muses that over.
"He's what, late twenties?" El pipes up when the frown doesn't ease and silence drags on.
"Somewhere around that," he murmurs. Neal's documents are all fakes, therefore the information they hold isn't conclusive.
"Well you've been in his life almost a decade now. You may be the only person to know the real him."
"No one knows the real him." Peter chuckles, the sound hollow and sullen.
The cons, the smiles, the half truths and misdirects. They would put a strain on any relationship.
"Peter," she drawls, a warning for him to be serious.
"His parents would know the real him." It's a statement he makes unthinkingly.
El stares at him, her I can't believe you can be this stupid look in her eye.
Oh. Oh
"You know the real him. The important parts anyway." She says, her words heavy with meaning. "I'm sure there's plenty of details missing but bottom line... you know Neal."
She smiles at his terror. Feral and bright.
Peter thinks back. All the near misses, all the sleepless nights. He never truly relaxes in the evening until he looks at that little tracker and sees it right where it's supposed to be. The deal, solving cases, it's what keeps him out of jail but it's not what's important. The hug he got off Neal when he emerged from his kidnapping by Keller unscathed, the feeling of that warm body, alive in his arms was gratifying. Knowing Neal is safe... that's what's most important to him.
So then, maybe him being safe is what's most important to Neal?
"You're right. I do know Neal. The real Neal." Peter says proudly, a sense of peace overtaking him.
And maybe this thing growing between them where they share a smile and indulge in little touches to confirm each other is still there, still whole, maybe it's not just a one-way street. Maybe Neal knows the real him too.