Pein sat at his desk in his office, massaging his temples. He was a little stressed in his current situation. All the Akatsuki were standing in a line, all a bit curios as to why all of them were in his office at the same time. To his right konan stood there obediently, and to his left, Kakuzu stood holding quiet a few documents. Pein opened his mouth to speak only to be interruped by a certain Jashinest-
"What the hell are we all doing in here?" Hidan shouted.
"SHUT-UP!!" Pein shouted back only louder, slamming his hands on his desk.
It wasn't wise testing Peins patience at the moment. He glared at all of the people in the room, his glare lingering on Hidan a few seconds longer than the rest. Not able to concentrate properly he leisurely waved his hand in Kakuzus direction.
"Kakuzu..." Is all he managed to say in a strained voice.
"Uh, well, yes..." Kakuzu started, looking through the documents in his hands slightly."Our finances are running out, 'cause we're spending more money than making it-"
"So?" Deidara butted in lazily.
"SO...it has come time for a more serious and, uh, traditional way of earning money."
"You mean like slavery?" Hidan asked, with a excited smile and the light glistening in his eyes.
"No"
"Can you just get to the point already." Said Sasori, a hint of irritation in his voice.
"Fine, your all getting jobs." Kakuzu finished flatly.
You could hear a pin drop...well, at least for a moment.
"WHAT?!" Hidan, Deidara, and Kisame all yelled in perfect unison. Sasori's eyes were wide, obviously tying not to believe what he just heard. Itachi's face was unreadable, except that the presence around him was quickly turning an intent to kill.
"YAY!! Tobi gets his first job!!" Tobi screamed happily.
"Shut-up, Tobi! Oh great." The plant commented sarcastically.
"Nope. No. I don't think so. Eh-eh." The blond stated matter-of-fact.
"You refuse. I kill you." Said Pein, giving Deidara a death glare. The bomber gulped rather loudly, then looked away pouting, but mad.
"Hey! Hey! Kakuzu, what the hell's this all about, eh? Hidan said angerly, pleading slightly.
"This wasn't my idea, Hidan."
"Just tell me what we're going to do." Itachi snapped, not really talking to anybody in particular. His eyes were closed, his head tilted back, and hands clenched into fists. Kisame looked at his weasel cautiously. He'd never seen him get show so much irritation before.
"What a disappointment," Pein stated, watching the Uchiha carefully. "To think an entire group of S-Rank criminals having to get jobs to support themselves." Itachi gritted his teeth, the anger rising. Pein smiled to himself, seeing the Uchiha get so upset. One more push will set him off. "Kakuzu, why don't you tell them their new assignments."
Kakuzu and Konan sighed simultaneously. Kakuzu rumaged around some more papers, then cleared his throat..."Well, there not the best jobs but they'll do. Okay, Deidara and Sasori do pizza delivery in Suna-"
"Suna?" Sasori almost squeaked...almost.
"Pizza delivery?" Deidara started pouting more than before.
"HAHAHA!!!" Hidan's laugh was heard all through-out the room.
Sasori left the room in a flash, Deidara on his heels. As the door was shutting you could hear Deidara calling Sasori from the hallway. Along with the sound of wood colliding with flesh then an "OW!".
"Now Kisame and Itachi, you both will be..." Kisame braced himself for the worst, not even daring to look at the weasel. "...opening up a fashion boutique in Konoha."
"GYAHAHAHA!!!" Hidan pointed at the Uchiha as he made his way out of the room. Kisame (like Deidara) ran after his weasel, hoping to console him. All that were left in the room now was Konan, kakuzu, a satisfied Pein, a still laughing Hidan, an aggravated plant, and the Tobi, waiting patiently to see what his job was.
"Okay, any who, Zetsu and Tobi. You will will be on gaurd duty for a local graveyard...at night."
"YAY!! Tobi's first job!!"
"Dammit. Fine."
"You should go ahead and pack things that will be needed. You first day is tonight."
"Tobi, be a good boy and pack our things. Troublesome."
"Yes, Zetsu-san!"
And with that the both of them were gone.
"It's just you and me, asshole. Whats our assignment?" Kakuzu had to make sure he was reading the words on the paper correctly. But no matter how many times he re-read it, the words stayed the same. Maby just double-double checking, one more time-Nope. Still the same. He looked over at his leader with a face that said 'Please let this be a type-o.' Sir Leader simply replayed:
"You'll be the one that gets the most money out of all of these guys." The banker had to think for a moment. Then grabbed Hidan and walked out of the room.
"Hey! What the fucks up? Tell me what we got!"
"Just come." Is all Kakuzu could say.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~In Pein's Office~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"What a bunch of idiots." Said Pein happily, leaning back in his chair, hands behind his head finally able to relax.
"I still think it's a bit cruel." Konan said a little uneasy.
"Anything to be alone with Mr. Strudle and Mrs. Melon." Said Pein while hugging his most beloved stuffed animals.
"Ahem."
Oh, yes. And you, my dear." Pein added quickly then giving Konan a peck on the cheek. "Oh, and do you mind getting the tea ready?"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~A Little Later~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Pein was standing next to the exit of their base, waiting to give further details to whom ever was about to leave first. He saw a giddy Tobi and annoyed Zetsu come down the hall. When they got close enough he handed them a map of where to go. It wasn't too far away. They could walk there and make it by nightfall.
"Have a safe trip."
Zetsu didn't replay, and just walked up the stairs to the surface.
"Bye-bye, Sir Leader Sir!" Sang Tobi, while jumping up and down, and saluting. Following Zetsu up the stairs.
First one down. Who's next? Only a minute later he saw the shark and weasel approaching. He could barely contain the smile that was threating to come across his lips. Kisame wasn't wearing his Akatsuki cloak, instead, he wore a silky, glittery blouse type man-shirt, silver. With a matching red tie, and skin tight black pants that were quiet fitting. Itachi, on the other hand, had his cloak on.
"Nice." Said Pein looking Kisame up and down.
"Thanks. This thing is actually kinda cool." Kisame started tugging at his shirt.
"Tsk, tsk, tsk." Was the first thing Pein said to Itachi, making his forefinger go in rythem with his "Tsk's". "Itachi, didn't I tell you to dress up." motioning toward Kisame.
"He's not wearing it till were half way to Konoha. Don't worry, I'll make sure he wear it, he looks so cute in it too." Kisame added. Which earned him a small growl from Itachi.
"Good, good." Was all Pein could say without bursting out laughing at the Uchiha's death glares.
"Have a safe trip, boys." That comment made Itachi brush against Pein hard while walking past him. The force of the Uchiha's push made Pein stumble a little.
Pein didn't even have to guess the next pair that was coming.
"Danna, please wear it, un."
"No."
"It's part of the uniform, un."
"Your bratty."
"Am not, un!"
"Are too."
"Well, well. Look what we have here." The two artists were wearing probably the oldest and lamest uniforms in the base. Both wearing pink and white striped shirts and pants, with white tennis shoes. Deidara was wearing and holding matching hats. The one he was holding is probably Sasori's, which he is refusing to wear. The look on Sasori's face made Pein feel pity for him...just a little. Deidara was obviously handling it better. Pein bent down and handed the Akasuna a large amount of pizzas.
"Why are there so many?" Sasori asked trying not to drop any of them. He could barely see what was in front of him.
"I heard that the Kazekage is having a party tonight. I'm sure he'll give you a big tip." Pein also handed Deidara a notepad with a list of addresses, names, and prices next to them. "That's your list, now run along you two." Sasori had to watch his steps carefully while climbing the stairs. As soon as Akasuna was off the steps Pein herd the sound of a cardboard box collide with the ground, then:
"Brat!"
"Sorry Danna, un."
"Just put it back in the box, they won't notice."
"That's not sanitary, Danna-"
"I don't care, just do it!"
"Un."
Pein sighed in his hand and almost missed the zombie brothers.
"Hey-" Pein started.
Kakuzu was dragging Hidan by his wrist, rushing to just go and get out of the base. Unlike Hidan, who looked more excited than anything.
"Got the map. Know where to go."
"See ya, Leader Asshole."
As soon as they were off the stair case he heard:
"Aww, don't step in it, un."
"Screw you, blondie."
"Hey!!"
"Come on, Hidan."
Pein turned back to his office. It was time to play with Mr. Strudle and Mrs. Melon.........Oh, and Konan.