"So there goes my life

Passing with every exit sign

Its been long

Sometimes I wonder how I will stay strong

No sleep tonight

I'll keep driving these dark highway lines

And as the moon fades

One more night gone

Only twenty more days"

Hello, I'm in Delaware by City and Colour

He came into the office and checked his e-mail. One in the inbox from Cuddy. It's just two sentences. "Your contract ends in three weeks. Think about it." Great he thought. Now I have to question whether I want to keep doing this. Sure he needs the medicine and really enjoys what he does and who he has befriended but something in him is actually playing the other side of it. What else do I want to do with my life?

Pondering those thoughts awhile he got disrupted by the phone ringing. Not his cell phone, the office phone. The caller ID flashed his mother's number. The conversation was quick and House didn't say much on his end. Quickly he gathered his things and made his way to the elevator. He made a phone call on his way out. Wilson didn't answer so he left a message. "My father died. I don't know how long I'll be gone. Call you later and tell Cuddy."

He made a quick stop at his house before he hit the road. He packed a bag and gathered a few cans of Coke for the road in only ten minutes time. He also made sure he had all the Vicodin he could find. Placing the only suit he had in the back of the car his cell phone rang. The ID stated that it was Cuddy. He hit ignore.

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Why his parents chose to retire in Delaware was beyond him but that's where the road was taking him on this clear night. Non stop drive to comfort Mom. He owed it to her. She always did it for him after his father was done yelling and punishing in the only ways he knew how. Reflecting back on his father's punishments opened his thoughts to how he really felt about the fact that his father was really gone from existence. Never to hurt him again. It was ironic how when he was growing up all he wanted was for his father to disappear from the face of the Earth, to stop existing, and now that he was actually gone House was pondering the underlying emotions. The ones he ignored to the best of his ability when he father was around.

His only goal when it came to his father was to be accepted for who he was and that would never happen. Did I ever love him? I think I wanted to but couldn't. I couldn't see past his strict military persona. I'll never get the change for him to say I was right, even though I know he never would.

He realized by that point that his vision was being obscured by tears and he couldn't remember the last time he had shed one. It wasn't that he was crying during that drive, just overwhelmed with emotion. How was he to stay strong for his mother if he couldn't keep it together himself? And he didn't even love him. He drove all night, knowing that besides his father's death he had twenty days to decide if he was staying, and the clock was ticking.

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The morning came and as he awoke he tried to remember why his surroundings seemed so unfamiliar yet familiar at the same time. He knew that he had come in late and then it started to all come back. He was at his mother's house. His father had died and he was in the guest room. The sun had awoken him through the thin curtains. Rubbing his eyes he listened for usual sounds of his mother being up and about. There weren't any.

Deciding that finding Mom would be a good thing he threw on his jeans from the previous night and found his cell phone and a vial of Vicodin in the pockets. He fished out two pills and downed them with a glass of water he found on the night stand. He checked the cell phone and saw he had two messages. I'll take care of that later. They can wait.

Gathering his cane he stumbled down the hall and around the majority of the house in search of Mom. His search ended in front of his mother's room. He approached the closed door and knocked softly. "Mom?" he asked in a low tone. "Yes." He heard her respond in an equally muffled tone. He was willing to continue the conversation through the closed door but decided that instead he was announcing that he was coming in and opened the door. He found his mother still in bed, staring absent mindedly towards the window. She glanced at him as he walked in but quickly returned her look to its original state. He sat on the edge of the bed and thought. What do I say?

"Can I get you anything?" keeping a low tone.

"No." Quiet, not sarcastic just factual.

"Do you want me to leave?"

"No." She reached blindly for his hand and he brought his up to grasp hers. They sat like that for a little while. Sitting as he did his leg started to ache so he relocated to the other side of the bed. He thought at first as he moved that she might get upset if he was on his father's side of the bed, but realized that she was lying on his father's side.

They stayed in their positions for a time, neither really kept track as to how long they were like that. House was dozing when his mother rolled over and faced him. He opened is bright blue eyes and looked at her.

"When you were little you used to have nightmares, which is no surprise considering what you went through. And you always came in here and wanted to sleep in our bed. But you never asked out loud. Too afraid of your father I think. You would walk in as quiet as a mouse and tap me on the shoulder. You'd look at me with your big tearful blue eyes and I could only look back. Your father would never allow it. And I'm sorry for that."

"Mom, it's not your fault. I knew you would if you could."

The rest of the day was pretty quiet; they did eventually get out of bed. House spent the majority of his day on the porch, first to answer messages then to try not to think too hard. He called Wilson.

"I'm here fine."

"That's good. How was your trip?"

"Long. Boring. The usual stuff when I'm driving alone."

"Yeah. How are things so far?"

"Weird being with only Mom. It's like I finally got what I had wanted for so long and now I can't enjoy it."

"Can't enjoy it?"

"It's complicated."

"So when is it?"

"Tomorrow morning."

"Call me after?"

"Yeah."

"I'm here whenever you need me."

"I know."

After the call his she came out with some lunch and a journal for House, a novel for herself.

"I heard you talking, I didn't want to interrupt. Was it work?"

"Nope. Wilson. Just checking in."

"Oh. He's that nice boy, brown hair, boyish smile right?"

House smirked a little. "Yeah Ma. That's him."

"From what I can remember from long ago is that he was always checking in on you."

"Yeah. He cares. Why I don't know but he cares about me."

"Of course he cares about you. He sees the real you. Not the one you put up for people. The one you hide behind."

"How do you know that?"

"I'm your mother, I always know these things."

House enjoyed his lunch and quality time with his Mom. It was always a ritual when Dad was away, he would come home for lunch and talk with his Mom. One he grew to miss as time went on.

That night House had stayed up relatively late after his late morning slumber. When he finally did turn in it wasn't long before he was asleep. The day and the new changes in his life caught up with him and made sleep come easy. He was asleep when she came in. She stood for a minute just looking at him asleep, so peaceful, all the stress and pain gone from his face. Then she approached his shoulder and just laid her hand on it. He roused slightly and looked up at her. "Mom?" He asked as he sat up and tried to wake up. "What's wrong?"

"I hate sleeping alone. Would you mind?"

He got up and followed her back to her bed and proceeded to lie down just as they had earlier.

"Thank you."

"Don't mention it."

It was the least I could do, for tomorrow will probably be the hardest day of her life.

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Blythe woke up first, at her usual time. They had to be at the funeral home at around 9:00AM so being up around 6:00AM seemed like a good time, at least in her mind it did. The sight in the living room caught her off guard. House was on the couch, curled up on his left side, holding his right thigh. He was asleep when she found him, but his face still looked tense.

Silently hoping for the best for her son she proceeded to make hot water for tea and oatmeal. Around 7:30AM she was close to being ready to leave, or at least had showered and such. It was time to wake House, let him know the time frame he had on the morning.

Approaching his side on the couch she could see he was more tense and sweaty. He was clearly not asleep but she pretended like she thought he was. Laying a soft hand on his shoulder she said his name, just as she had many years before when he was over sleeping. He released the tension around his eyes and spoke.

"Yea."

"It's 7:30. We have to leave here in an hour. Is there anything I can do to help you?"

He thought for a moment, what did I bring out here with me? There was an empty vial of Vicodin on the coffee table and his cane was lying on the floor.

"In my bag, I need my pills."

Saying nothing she went to his room and returned with a new vial. Of course she thought, he came out here for a distraction and when his pills ran out he was in too much pain to go get more, hence he slept on my couch. He accepted the Vicodin graciously and sat up, kneading the remaining muscle. After a few minutes he was in less pain and could sound and look like a person again. Blythe was sitting at the other end of the couch, waiting.

"An hour huh?"

"Yes. We have to be there at nine. I'm finished in the bathroom if you would fancy a shower."

"That'd be great."

The remainder of their morning was uneventful. House had showered and trimmed his facial hair; he wasn't going to shave it all away. He had no one to impress on this day, or any day for that matter. The only one he had once wanted to impress was gone.

He emerged from the bedroom wearing a dark suit with a black shirt underneath. No tie and black and red Nike sneakers. His mother was in the kitchen, making herself busy. When she heard him coming she turned around to get a look at him.

"The suit isn't black, I don't have one."

"It's fine."

"I'll wear a tie if you'd like but I'd rather not."

"You don't have to, I don't mind."

"No dress shoes, due to my mobility or lack there of. And this is the only cane I have." He mentioned raising it so she could see the flames.

"Greg you could wear jeans and a t-shirt for all I care. You look fine, so handsome."

"Shall we?" He said meaning we should get going. Checking his pockets he made sure he had his cell phone, his Vicodin and his wallet. They went outside; luckily his parent's house didn't have any stairs.

"Would you like me to drive?" He asked as he made his way to the car.

"Sure if you can manage."

"For you, I can always manage." She smiled.

The service was as House had expected it. He and his mother sat in the front, occasionally visiting with people until the service started. The minister talked of John's life and his services. House knew it would be a time of reflection on what he father did in a positive light, but he to him is father wasn't very positive. All he could think of was how he negatively impacted his life, altered who he was forever.

He wasn't really paying attention, more lost in his own thoughts on the matter when his leg started to throb and the muscle started to quiver. He picked up his cane from its resting spot on the inside of his left leg and put it in front of him to rest his head on, like he did many times before. Blythe looked over at her son, seeing his change in position and was curious. Tears? No. Then she glanced at his leg and saw the pant leg moving around his thigh despite the restful position of his leg. She was sitting on his right side.

Out of the corner of his eye House saw his mother look at him and was thinking Please mom don't touch my leg. His mother knew better and instead placed her hand across his shoulder blades and proceeded to run her hand across the top of his back. She whispered to him "If you need to leave it's ok."

"I will be fine. Don't want to make a scene trying to walk away anyways. It will pass."

The service ended, at least the indoors portion did, and the spasm was on its way out, but wasn't gone. His mother got up to say her last goodbye and could tell by her son's expression that he wasn't getting up yet. He met her outside once he was able to get up and move. She was outside the building on their porch. He stood next to her near the railing, looking out.

"Better?" She asked.

"I'll live." Then thought about what he just said. "Mom I'm sorry. I wasn't thinking."

"It's fine. You shouldn't lose who you are because he's gone. Don't change. He changed you enough."

House turned and faced his mother. She turned and faced him which resulted in a hug. "We didn't get to do this enough when I was younger."

"I agree."

The cemetery service was short, but military. Complete with the gun salute. House stood strong next to his mother while the service went on. He wished he had a chair but handled the standing as well as could have been expected.

The reception afterwards was at a neighboring restaurant, a favorite of his father's. Many people, family and friends, were there and House did his best to stay out of conversation if possible. He watched his mother visit from a distance and she seemed to be enjoying herself, as much as someone could enjoy themselves on a day like that one. House decided that this was as god a time as any to call Wilson. He went outside, the restaurant had a small garden with a fish pond and benches. He sat and hit the speed dial.

"House how's everything?"

"Wilson." He paused. Wilson tensed on his side, House never addressed him unless something was up.

"Yeah?" He replied trying not to sound tense.

"My leg hurts." House didn't want to say it but he had to. He knew that this emotional pain was coming out physically but didn't want to believe it. His father, now dead, still caused him pain.

"You know what's doing it."

"Yes."

"It will get better House. And I mean that sincerely."

"I know. I think I'll be back soon."

"I'll be here."

"Gotta go."

"Later."

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When they returned to the house after everything, there was a message on the answering machine. House had gone and changed into more comfortable clothing. He came back out and his mother was on the couch.

"What was the message?"

"Some of my girlfriends would like to have a girls weekend in D.C. Do some sight seeing, catching up and all."

"You should go. It will be good to get away from all this."

"That's true. I think I will go. They leave on Friday. Goodness that leaves me two days!"

"You better get packing then." He said with a light tone.

Later that day he told her that he would be leaving the next afternoon. She understood and appreciated his company during this difficult time. "If you ever need anything I'm just a phone call away."

"I know Greg. I'll remember it. You may be hearing from me more often now."

"That's fine by me. Maybe you, me, and Wilson will get together some time."

"I'd like that."

The goodbyes were short; he was off, back to work. Blythe said that she would call him after her trip and tell him all about it. Part of him didn't want to leave her, wanted to stay with what he had wanted for so long, but life went on and he had things to do.

"And there goes my life
Passing by with every departing flight
And its been so hard
So much time so far apart
And she walks the night
How many hearts will die tonight
And when things have changed
I guess I'll find out seventeen days"

Hello, I'm in Delaware by City and Colour

She was flying to D.C. and he was driving home. His new task at hand was the dwindling time on his tenure. There were close to seventeen days left on it and he was pondering life. What do I really want to do? I like my job, I like working with Wilson but is there something else I want to do before I die? I don't like change. So why am I thinking about it? I have seventeen days to figure it out.

He made it home fine and was back to work. It was hard to focus on the cases, his mind was still floating in another dimension. Pondering his father, his own life, everything but work. Cuddy had had enough of it.

"House what's going on?"

"With what?"

"With you. Your team says that you don't even do differentials anymore, you let them handle it all."

"I have a lot on my mind."

"Why?"

"I think you know."

"Well discuss whatever it is with your friend and get back to work."

He left and found Wilson.

"I'm not myself."

"Ok." He was doing paperwork that would obviously have to wait now.

"And it's affecting my work."

"Well what's up?"

"I don't know what I want."

"What you want from what?"

"Life. He changed me for life, even when he's gone he hurts me."

"Do you want to talk to someone about it?"

"What are you? A figment of my imagination?"

"You know what I'm saying."

"I'm leaving. Call you later. Maybe."

House left. He didn't just leave the hospital, he left New Jersey.

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"My body aches
And it hurts to sing
No one is moving
And I wish that I weren't here tonight
But this is my life"

-Hello, I'm in Delaware by City and Colour

And now he was in a bar. He left that day right after talking with Wilson and never came back. He left to ponder life and stayed for a month. Now he was left to lounge singing, just him and the piano. No one would hire him as a diagnostician, his record had too many mishaps. He could have landed a job with a reference from Cuddy but he didn't want to look back at that time. So he used his other talent, music.

It actually happened one night by accident. He saw the empty piano, the guy who was supposed to play didn't show up so he did it instead. And the barkeep asked him if he wanted to replace the other guy. He did and that's all he was doing now. Usually he just played whatever he felt like playing, and took requests occasionally.

One night he saw a guy come in, and from behind he thought it was Wilson. And ironically Wilson called his cell that night. The message played like this, "House where are you? You left that day and never came back. You ran away from your problems and ran away from me. I miss you and I know that's weird to hear, how could someone miss you, but I do. The hospital is suffering, no one can handle your cases and the patients are dying. You don't have to come back, I know you left for a reason unknown to me but at least let me know you're alive. Did you ever realize that yes I was your only friend but you were my only friend as well? I hope you got what you wanted out of life."

That thought never occurred to House and he immediately regretted his choice. He never wanted to hurt Wilson, that's why he left. And now he had hurt him. He didn't want to bother Wilson with his past, his pain and instead he created Wilson's pain. On top of that he had now realized that what he wanted out of life was still in New Jersey, he had ran away from the only person who cared. Wilson was what he wanted out of life.

Picking up his cell phone he hit that familiar speed dial and found himself talking to the answering machine. He only said four words that would probably mean a whole lot more to Wilson that House knew. "Hello. I'm in Delaware."

Please review. If you find anything insanely wrong please let me know, it has been read over but there was probably the occasional error. Thanks.