A/N This is just me venting so the character's may be out but I just needed to write this down even if it's exaggerated a little. AU and Ianto-centric with Gwen-bashing (sorry). And I do love Janto I just can't write anything happy. All mistakes are mine.
"Tosh, what happened?"
"I… uh…" she stuttered as the teacher walked in. A relieved look flitted across her face "tell you later"
"You better." Ianto glanced at the cut on her arm wearily once more before crossing to his seat.
The physics lesson dragged by and all that dominated Ianto's mind was his concern over his best friend's unusual behaviour. Even Torchwood High's best teacher Doctor Smith couldn't pull him from his thoughts.
Before he knew it the lesson was over. Snapping back to reality he saw Tosh's bag disappear through the door.
Sighing, Ianto followed the rest of the class out to the lunch rooms hoping the rest of the gang wouldn't be there so he could talk to her.
Ianto already had suspicions as to what was wrong with Tosh, he knew the signs. But the idea seemed so out of character for the shy, reserved geek it was difficult to get his head round. He prayed he was wrong because there was too much to deal with at home without his theory being correct.
Unfortunately the others were already gathered round the table, eating merrily and chatting seemingly oblivious to everyone's troubles. The talk would have to wait. Ianto's gaze flitted to his other best friend Jack and his heart stuttered in his chest. He knew he shouldn't feel like that but his undeniable feeling of love for the older boy was bearing down on his shoulders.
He felt a sharp pain in his chest as he saw Jack kiss Gwen. They had been going out for a while now but it still killed Ianto when he saw them together. He knew if his family knew his feelings he'd be kicked out so he let them boil inside him. He couldn't cause his dad more anguish. Especially after what the doctors said about his mum.
He pulled up a pew next to the final member of their group Owen and quietly following the conversation only commenting when necessary. His invisible status in the group was a curse but due to his current affairs he let it continue; it was easier that way.
The school day finally ended at 3:30. Anger hit Ianto as he realised he hadn't managed to talk to Tosh. She'd avoided him since physics. Ianto began the walk home with Owen (as they lived near each other) and joined in the usual banter but with slightly less enthusiasm then usual.
*~*~*~*~*~*TW*~*~*~*~*~*
Ianto sat in his room and let silent tears run down his face. The clock ticked towards midnight and he tried to loose himself in the physical pain rather than feel the emotional. Fear always won in the end though.
*~*~*~*~*~*TW*~*~*~*~*~*
Ianto finally cornered Tosh at break the next day. "Okay, you've been acting weird now tell me what's up."
The petite girl's gaze fell to the floor. "M-my cut. I, uh, it wasn't an accident."
Ianto looked away- he was afraid this was what happened. "Why?" he finally asked.
"It's just I've felt so alone and I swear it won't happen again it just escalated from a tiny thing. I know Gwen's done it and I thought it might help." She replied as tears formed in her eyes.
Ianto pulled her into a tight hug. "Look. Gwen is an attention whore so never copy her, it's like getting a worm to teach you trigonometry- pointless. Secondly, if you ever feel like that again then phone me. I don't care what time it is just promise you'll call."
He felt her give a shaky nod and released her from his vice-like hug. He stared into her eyes and resisted the urge to dump his troubles on her. I deserve them he thought but she doesn't.
"So you don't hate me?" Tosh whispered.
If I did I'd be the biggest hypocrite in history he considered saying. Instead he said "never Tosh. I'll love you forever."
She let out a shaky giggle and pulled into a hug. "Love you too."
*~*~*~*~*~*TW*~*~*~*~*~*
Leaving his lesson, Ianto spotted Gwen loitering in a deserted corridor. Remembering what Tosh said about Gwen's influence he went over to give her a piece of his mind.
"Why the hell are you pretending to self-harm?" he raged.
She stared at him with a look that was a mixture of contempt and shock. "I don't know what you mean."
"I heard you just the other week telling Jack how 'horrible' your life is. Claiming you need sympathy to help heal your messed up brain. Well let me tell you if you act like that you are defiantly not what you pretend to be."
"Well Jones, looks like you caught me but how's this: If you repeat any of what you just said I'll tell everyone the truth about your sexuality. You won't be so smug when your parents make you live on the streets."
Ianto stared at her wondering how she knew. "Cat got your tongue Jones? I thought it might. If you so much as hint anything like that I promise you will pay" Gwen spat before turning on her heal and storming off.
*~*~*~*~*~*TW*~*~*~*~*~*
That evening Ianto went to the hospital and sat by his mother's bed. The BPM on the monitor were decreasing everyday but he tried to stay positive. There was a chance she would make it his brain cried. She shouldn't be here. It's all my fault. The beats per minute dropped another digit.
A/N Depending on events I may write another chapter but I'm not sure. Please review and advice wouldn't be un-appreciated!