The words I prayed you would never say -but did- tore at my heart and hurt my brain until I believed my head would implode.
How can words be so horrific..so painful? Each one akin to a fateful poison, burned my flesh as each syllable laced so heavily with deep seated spite and long held anger fell in the very air all around me. Voices shouting. Memories thrown about. Each surrounding me until I thought I would drown.
With open palms tight against my ears I attempted to block out the offending atrocities but it failed.
.. I failed ..
I experienced each hateful slur as if it were being said to me because it was.
.. I failed the both of you ..
.. I'm sorry ..
From the furthest corner of the hallway I listened and watched. Hidden amongst the shadows I stood frozen, unable to comprehend my life falling apart. Instead, my knees became weak as I dropped to the floor while my stomach violently betrayed me. Flesh began to rip from my throat as I finally had the courage to intervene. I screamed and screamed and shouted and pleaded and begged for you two to stop; but by then..it was useless. By that time, the damage had been more than done.
The day I thought you two were going to finally kill each other is the day Sam left me for Standford and you told him never to return.
The day I felt the smooth coolness of the rigid steel key tight in my sweaty hand as I wrapped my fingers around it surrounding it like a blanket, I knew she was mine. If I knew you too were going to leave the next day I never would have accepted it from you.
Ever.
But you remained silent up until the moment I watched you begin packing your newly purchased used truck.
The day I heard the low rumble of the engine turning over and the clicking sound of dusty pale gravel being thrown by the tires as you drove away is the day you both killed me.