He came back, and she was almost afraid he wouldn't. Dressed in a suit, shiny with age, his hair in that new style, the curls flattened somehow. The music and the lights of this bar pulsated all around her, and she kept catching glimpses of her dad dancing with Chris. There was a look of deep contentment in her dad's eyes, and she envied that.
There was a different look in Craig's eyes, she couldn't describe it but if she had been older she might have been able to. It was the look of a college student up all night on No-Doz and black Dunkin' Donuts coffee, scribbling the last of a mad dash essay. It was the look of an alcoholic after their first drink of the night. So different from the easy going kid she'd first met in ninth grade. She remembered that day with him, practicing for the Shakespeare skit out in the woods, the trees a deep green against the light blue afternoon sky. How he'd said what she thought but didn't have words for, that if you love someone you don't want them to change. How it made her feel sad for her and Jimmy but she was changing, couldn't Jimmy see that? She was growing and moving on from that goody- goody girl she'd always been. Why did he want her to change back?
"You're back," she said, and eyed the suit, the frantic look in his eyes, and he nodded, "in a suit,"
"Yeah,"
He had a little envelope and removed something little and shiny, and she felt her heartbeat speed up as she saw what it was.
"A ring," she said, and he nodded again, held it between his thumb and forefinger.
"It was my mother's," he said, the solemnity of that was in his eyes. His mother. She couldn't remember him ever speaking about her before.
"So it's your mother's ring," she said, and immediately regretted the words. The ring had a square diamond in a white gold setting and the crazy disco ball lights of this bar caused it to flash off different aspects, reflecting the tiny flashes of lights into her eyes. Craig got down on one knee before her, the classic proposal position, and held the ring up like an offering.
"Craig, what are you doing?" she said, although she felt suddenly like she couldn't breathe. The music still pulsated around her, and the different conversations flowed like water. She focused on the shiny little ring and Craig's pleading eyes.
"Will you marry me?" he said, and she thought about that day in the woods, about how he got something Jimmy never would. She saw her dad close his eyes in a smile as Chris kissed his cheek.
"Oh my God," she said softly, almost too softly for Craig to hear.
"Will you?" he said.
"Yes,"
He looked at her, a steady gaze but something trembled in it when she said yes. Looking down at him, seeing the angle of his cheekbones, the line of his chin, the way the tie was slightly crooked at his throat, she hadn't thought it was possible to love somebody this much.
"Ashley, I love you," he said, and rose to his full height before her. Now she had to look up at him.
"I know. I love you, too,"
He smiled, held her gaze, and slipped the ring on her finger. Ashley moved her hand so the ring would catch the light.
Back at the hotel, the beds made again like magic, Craig slipped out of the jacket and pulled off the tie. He'd barely taken his eyes off of her since he had given her the ring.
"Let's make love and the only thing you'll be wearing is this," he said, backing her up toward the bed. Ashley gazed at the ring, wondering if it was the engagement ring from Joey or from Craig's father. She smiled slightly as he tugged one piece of clothing off after another, slipping out of his clothes at the same time. She closed her eyes as he kissed her, and she thought she could spend the rest of her life with him.
Afterward, Craig sleepy next to her, she looked at the black windows. All she could see was the reflection of this room.
"Craig?"
"Mmmmmm?"
"Craig, listen, we can't tell anyone at my father's wedding-"
"What? Why not?" He was mad fast. So fast it scared her. His eyes had this wild light lately she didn't entirely like.
"Because, Craig, we're 16 and my parents would kill me if they knew, not to mention it would ruin my father's wedding, so we are not going to be saying anything," her voice was firm but she felt the first threads of fear. Craig was still mad and now she could feel his muscles tensing and she knew he'd grown up with violence…
He sighed, relaxing again, looking at his mother's ring on her finger, feeling that delirious happiness of when she said yes. How could he deny her anything she wanted?
"Okay. We won't say anything," he said.