Pre-time skip. Not beta'ed! I have not even proof-read it.. I hate doing stuff like that x)
Pairing(s): Onesided NaLu
I hope you enjoy!
One year ago, she could truthfully say that she had never been in love. Not even once in her seventeen years of life. There had never been a lack of boys, quite the opposite, actually. As "Miss Heartfilia", she had been approached by boys for her beauty and status more than once. Though she had never been serious with any of her little flirts, she always wished she had.
She had tried to fall in love, she really had. But it was impossible to evoke feelings that simply weren't there. Her seemingly inability to fall in love had kept her awake night after night, when she would silently wonder if she could ever find that special someone.
For a while, it seemed that she would end up alone.
Then, some time after joining Fairy Tail, her life had turned upside down. Feelings she had never experienced before suddenly roared to life. When Lucy finally fell in love, she fell hard. Though whatever she saw in him was beyond her understanding, she could not ignore her heart. How said organ quickened its pace every time he said her name. How it would skip a beat when their gazes met. How it almost stopped dead in her chest when he touched her; accidentally or not.
How on earth had it even happened? Lucy had only thought of him as a friend until recently…
Mou, I give up! the blond thought, shaking her head furiously while burying her reddening face in her hands. A deep breath followed, and she closed her eyes slowly. Lost in thought, sounds around her faded to blur of voices.
"Ano… Lucy, what are you doing?" a voice said, not very loud, but straight into her ear. Lucy's breath hitched as she jumped in her seat, startled.
"Cana, you nearly gave me a heart attack, you know?" Turning her head to said girl, she gave her friend a half-hearted smile. Though, when the card mage didn't return it, Lucy suspected Cana had seen right through her fake expression.
The brunette didn't say anything, but sat down on the available chair on the other side of the small guild table. Then, like someone flipped a switch, the relatively calm guild erupted into noise. Sending a quick glance in direction of the source, she discovered another quarrel between Natsu and Gray. The latter had to dodge a sooty chair that had come flying towards his face in terrific speed.
"You seemed lonely, sitting there all by yourself," Cana simply stated. The words themselves were thoughtful and caring, but Lucy read their second meaning easily. Was the empty feeling that resided inside her so evident on her face?
"Yeah…" she started. "I don't feel well." In a way, that was as true as it could get. She was in the middle of an inner turmoil. Love really hurt. In the background, she heard a faint "aye, aye!", a crash and Natsu roaring of laughter. Her heart clenched painfully.
Cana just nodded. "Natsu is really an idiot, huh?"
Lucy felt her face grow hotter, and vaguely wondered if she resembled a tomato ready for harvest.
"Wh-what do you mean?" she asked, unable to keep her voice from stuttering. Her gaze found a rather odd mark on the table. Not exactly the most interesting thing to observe, but better than meeting Cana's eyes, which was undoubtedly seeking hers.
The brunette laughed, but it lacked the usual cheeriness. "You're terrible at hiding your emotions," she said quietly. "Your little crush isn't a secret."
"Wha-!" The celestial mage began, but the words got stuck in her throat. The blush that adorned her face turned even darker, and she threw her head down on the tabletop in defeat.
"It's not like I can help it…" the blond mumbled into the wooden surface. "My heart just doesn't agree with my head, that's all." Then, a frightening thought hit her, and her head shot up from the table in less than a millisecond. Her small palm slammed into the table as the girl almost jumped out of the chair.
"Do-does he know?!" she sputtered out, her nose only inches from Cana's.
"Oi, oi, take it easy, Lucy," she smiled. "That block head doesn't even know the difference between a camel and a donkey. Do you really think he would have noticed?"
Lucy released the breath she didn't even know she was holding, and sat back in her seat. The fiddling with her keys did not go unnoticed by the card mage. Her friend was obviously nervous and uncomfortable. "And… the others? They know too?" Lucy almost whispered.
Cana had to smile, although a bit sadly. "Boys don't have an "in-love-detector" like we do. Your little secret is safe with us." Lucy's thoughts immediately began swirling. Mira, Levy, Erza and probably Lisanna too. Though she wasn't too sure about Erza...
"We're your friends, you know. You can always talk to us."
And finally – finally – Lucy was able to meet the brunette's eyes. A smile crept onto her lips, and she suddenly felt ten tons lighter.
"Thank you... Cana." Lucy's thoughts wandered to the countless conversations the girls had had about boys. Every time the topic had been brought up, the blond had always felt a little out of place.
Levy would often complain about Gajeel, even though everyone knew it was only a matter of time before the two of them hooked up together. Cana herself was quite experienced when it came to love, and Mira had obviously had several flirts. Even Lisanna talked about that special someone. And even though the white-haired girl hadn't mentioned anyone, Lucy was convinced Natsu was the one.
And Erza… She was, well, Erza. The requip mage wasn't exactly known for being a romantic, something that suited her just fine. She did have brains and was rather logical, but when it came to love, the redhead was completely oblivious.
Turning her head slightly, both Gray and Natsu showed up in her peripheral vision. Their fight was still going on, it seemed.
"Why are you giving up?" Cana asked. Her voice brought Lucy back from her absentminded thinking, and she realized she had probably looked rather sad.
"It's not like that," she began, waving her hand dismissively. "I just… I don't want to ruin the friendship. He doesn't feel anything towards me." The celestial mage knew this; in her mind, it was quite obvious. But the words hurt a thousand times more when she voiced them out loud.
"That's called giving up," Cana simply stated. When she didn't receive an answer, she continued. "And how do you know he doesn't like you? It's not like you've asked him."
Lucy paused for a moment. "I just do."
The silence that followed only served to make the blond more anxious. The guild was as lively as ever,
but a hollow feeling still settled in the pit of Lucy's stomach. Seeing as Cana wasn't going to open her mouth any time soon, Lucy sighed.
"I think he likes someone else, okay?" Once again, brown eyes fixated on the table. She couldn't find the courage to voice any names.
Cana eyed her. She couldn't lie to her friend; Natsu probably didn't harbor any romantic feelings for the poor girl. But even so, the brunette hadn't thought of the possibility that the dragon slayer might have somebody else in mind. Sure, he was an idiot, but he was also a teenager. It would have been weird if the rosy haired mage hadn't fallen in love at least once.
She hadn't noticed anything unusual about his behavior, though. He hadn't exactly been emitting any lovey-dovey feelings as far as she had observed. But then again, he was Natsu. To be honest; he wasn't the brightest person around. If he really was in love, he probably didn't even know himself.
"Really? Who?" Any answer Cana might have received drowned in another loud crash.
"Stop vandalizing the guild, brats!" someone shouted. The outburst went unnoticed by said brats, and the destruction continued. Cana felt a vein pop out in her forehead.
Then, the guild doors slammed open. Natsu and Gray's heads turned stiffly as Titania strode into the hall. Her skirt was slightly tattered, her armor dirty and her hair a mess. She was not in a good mood. Taking a quick look around the messy guild hall, her gaze immediately settled on the culprits.
"E-erza. Hey. How was the mission?" The black-haired mage tried. The evil glint in Erza's eyes told him everything. She stepped forward.
The fire and the ice held each other in a tight embrace in pure fear. Not like it helped them. Erza didn't even think twice before banging their heads forcefully together, leaving the boys in a heap on the floor.
"Caring as always," Cana sweat dropped.
Then the requip mage took notice of the two girls sitting in the corner. There was something off with their appearances, Erza thought. Cana wasn't drinking, and Lucy seemed a little... discouraged.
"Yo," she greeted as she approached her friends, raising her hand in a tiny wave.
Lucy met her with a smile of her own, relived she didn't have to answer Cana's question. It was sort of embarrassing…
"Hey," Cana answered, when Lucy only gave the redhead a smile. Taking in Erza's ruffled appearance, the usual drunkard continued. "Though mission?"
"Yeah, well, nothing I couldn't handle."
"Hah, I suppose."
Shooting one more look at the blond's expression, Erza voiced her thoughts out loud. "So, what's the problem?"
Lucy flinched almost unnoticeably, which confirmed the redhead's suspicions. Without the noises the previous brawl had emitted, Lucy felt exposed. Even though the guild had fallen into happy chit chatting, it still felt oddly quiet. Like everyone's eyes were on her.
"Well," Cana started. "Lucy here has a little problem with love..."
"Cana!" Though she tried her hardest to suppress it, Lucy's outburst was accompanied by a dark blush that spread over her face.
"Huh? What's the matter?" the brunette said, a small grin playing on her features.
"Don't just blurt out things like that!" She glanced nervously up at Erza, waiting impatiently at her friend's reaction. The female swordsman didn't seem exceptionally surprised, however. She only bestowed a small smile upon the blond.
"Ah, I see. No wonder you looked so down."
There was no hesitation to Erza's words, and the way she voiced them – oh, so matter-of-factly – made Lucy want to bang her head into something. When even Erza had noticed, her acting skills had to be more than terrible.
When neither of the seated girls responded, Titania grabbed the opportunity to seize a chair herself.
"I know it hurts, I've been through a couple of heart aches myself," Cana admitted. "Boys sure are stupid."
The statement made Lucy's lips pull upwards, and she felt her head nod in agreement.
"He doesn't know what he's missing out on." She continued. "But, what should we expect anyway? He's an idiot."
The redhead crossed her arms and leaned back in her creaking chair. "You have a point."
"Hey, Lucy!" a easily recognizable voice shouted out. Her eyes trailed over rosy hair and a enormous smile. Blue fur and gleaming eyes cheered out to her as well. "Wanna join our mission? Come over here!"
"Wait a second!" Cana called back. Natsu's happy face turned into a more displeased one, but he kept quiet and turned to the blue cat.
Lucy sighed, and let her eyes slip shut for a second. Thoughts of every kind raced through her head. Endless possibilities, dreams that would never come true, every daydream she had experienced the last months; they all flashed past in a blur. When she let her orbs peek through long lashes once more, she put on her best smile and turned to her friends.
"At least I have him as a friend."
And she believed it wholeheartedly. As one of her best friends, Natsu would always be there for her. As someone to confine in. Depend on. Laugh with. Cry with. Fight with. And when the time would finally come for her to let go and find a new love in someone else, he would still be there right next to her. As a fellow comrade.
And now, she realized, that was good enough.
The dragon slayer's patience only lasted so long, and Lucy vaguely registered that he was calling out to her again.
A real smile turned her face into a brilliant glow and she raised from her chair. Turning to Cana and Erza, she waved. "Thanks. I guess I'll see you later!"
Walking out the guild doors, she felt lighter than she had for several weeks. The laughter that bubbled out of her throat was delightful and realer than ever before.
Oh, how it feels being in love... Though it can throw you into the worst time of hopelessness, it can also grant you the biggest happiness. Such a beautiful disaster.
I have mixed feelings for this one, as I feel like it's incomplete somehow… And I feel it lacks something on writing style.. I used much time on this, though, so I just had to upload it! As for the characters, I really hope I somehow managed to keep them in character.
I hope you liked it anyway!
Constructive criticism is always appreciated, so please leave a review if you enjoyed!
~Ayla