This is set in the same universe as Servus To The Dragon. Later in said story, I'll be bringing this issue back up.
Nami had entered the hotel room that she was staying at, her body felt like it was about to give. She dragged her feet across the floor and once she reached the bed, she went face first into it.
She stayed like that for a while. That was until her wound started to hurt. "Ugh" she moved onto her back and sat up. She looked at her leg, the fabric that was tied around her right thigh had turned much darker, darker form the blood that was oozing out of the bullet wound.
It was nothing she hasn't experienced before.
The first time was agony. A bullet wound to the shoulder and a stab wound to the hand, that was due to getting caught stealing the treasure. She hadn't even seen the guard come back. By the time she did it was too late. The hand resting on top of the the chest got stabbed by the mans dagger, it went straight through her hand and the chest.
Sloppy... But that's what you get for getting caught right?…
Miraculously however, she manged to get free after the guard got distracted by some explosions. It seems luck was on Nami's side that day, as there was some bounty hunters coming to take the captains head.
Nami forced herself off the bed and limped to the bathroom. The hotel wasn't a 5 star… She didn't want to spend too much. Besides she only got 1,000 Beri
"Ugh, after the trouble I went through… and I only got a measly 1,000 Beri!"
Nami rested her arms on the -not so clean- sink and let out a loud and exhausting sigh as she stared at the floor. "Well… I guess every bit help right?"
She took off all her cloths, sat on the toilet and lifted her leg up so it was now resting on the side of the bath. There she saw the wound. Shes lucky it didn't go straight through. The actual bullet had broken and ricochet of something, and half the bullet went into her leg as she duck for cover.
The red stood out from her pale skin. She was sure the broken bullet wasn't in there, she thought she felt it make its way out as she ran.
Nami ran the tap and filled the sink with cool water and a bit of soap. She drenched a cloth she had and rinsed it off, she hovered the cloth over the wound and as the water made contact with he wound, slight pain shot around her body.
"Ugh" she closed her eyes tight, as she put her finger in the wound to make sure that were was in fact, nothing in there.
She put the cloth on her leg and gently cleaned the wound. It was hurting… But… The pain was worth it if it meant that she could reach her goal.
After that was taken care off, she stepped into the shower and washed her body and the wound again. The first time was just to get the dirt or whatever was in there out, now she can clean it thoroughly.
The water danced down her slim build. The paleness of her skin made the bruises and cuts stand out a bit and there was evidence of faint scars. Luckily however, they had faded somewhat, so they weren't so noticeable.
Nami placed her hand on her side, just under her breast and slowly moved it down up to her hip. As her hand went down her body, she could faintly feel her ribs.
"Man, I need to eat better…"
She didn't wast to spend so much on nice things, such as nice hotels or a lots of food. She needed every bit of money she could get. So it helped that she was a thief, easy to get food and whatnot. Its not like she likes stealing from normal people, but when she does it wasn't anything worth wild. Usually bits of food or clothing.
She got out of the shower and made her way to the bedroom. She pulled her rucksack over to the bed and pulled out some first aid stuff. She sat on the bed and drying off her legs and began to sort out her wound. Once she had finished she bandaged it and pulled out some knickers and a dark baggy top.
She placed her towel over a chair to try off. And made her way back to the bed and laid on the top, staring at the ceiling.
Nami lifted her arm up with her fingers stretching out, reaching for the ceiling. She then clenched her hand and brought it back down and rested over her eyes.
"5 years huh…"
The room was eerie quite. Quite to the point you could hear a pin drop. Nami stayed like that for a while. That was until she felt small water drops slowly slide down her cheeks.
She slowly sat up and wiped them away. However that didn't seem to work as more kept coming. She pulled a pillow and pressed it onto her chest, to hopefully stop her crying… but it didn't work.
It seemed the more she tried to stop them, the more they came out. Quite whimpers escaped her mouth as she tried to get a breath in.
"Dammit!" Nami gently hit the side of her face. "I said I wouldn't cry any more!" she hit harder. "Dammit! Dammit!" harder and harder" "DAMMIT!" She screamed.
She sat there, hands pressed against her face. Her body trembled a little, there was red marks at the side of her face.
"W-why does it hurt so much…?" she clenched her top, above where her heart would be.
Tears streamed down her face, uncontrollably. There was pain… pain in her chest, it hurt so much she didn't know what do to. The pain got stronger and tears poured more. She tried her hardest to stop herself from crying out.
"I-I'm so sorry…. Bell-mere… I-I'm sorry I said you wasn't my mother" the words fell on deaf ears.
Nami hugged the pillow with her free arm and smashed her face into it. Hopefully to try and quieten her crying. It did an all right job.
There, she screamed into the pillow until she felt like her head was about to explode.
She said she wouldn't cry again, but times like these… Its hard not to. Its hard to keep everything inside. Its hard watching kids having fun with their mothers… Its hard knowing that she'll never have a chance to have moments like that… Its hard knowing that the last thing they did was argue. Argue about... regrettable stuff. Its hard knowing that she'll never be able to apologize to her properly.
Apologize to her for being an ungrateful brat. Apologize for not saying how much she meant to her. How she was her everything.
It hurt to know she'll never have a chance. All she wants to do is see her again and hug her tight.
It hurt her to have never said thank you... Thank you for rescuing her, giving her a chance at life. It hurt to the point it feels like her heart will explode.
The emotional pain was that great it hurt her deep, it was like a physical pain... But no matter what, be it bullet wound of stab wound, she could handle that. she knew wounds like that would heal, they would disappear and never to be seen again.
But...
Pains like this? Not she couldn't handle it properly, pain like this was so much worse the, bullets or knifes... Pains like this is what hurts the most. This kinda pain wont ever leave, all you need to do it live with it. It lurks around you. It waits for the right moment to strike... Moments like this...
It lurks in the back of your mind... It stalks your every being... It weighs you down.
Pains like this is what can truly kill a person.
Life... its cruel, yet... a beautiful place to live.
Life isn't fair. It takes and you have to fight for what you want.
"S-she said that she loved us… b-but -sniff- why does it still hurt… -Sniff- She knows… that I didn't mean it… right…?"
Nami hugged the pillow with all that her body could muster up. She hugged it like her life depended on it… maybe not her life… but maybe… her sanity?
She couldn't stop the feelings from coming out… being alone is when its the hardest to try and keep her emotions together.
She screamed in the pillow again, crying out for anyone who listen…
No…
She couldn't let anyone become involved in this… This is something she had to do. If someone died because of her… again. She wouldn't be able to handle that.
She cant rely on anyone but herself… she has to cut herself off from others
She cried and cried. Shes hurting and no one knows.
A 16 year old carry the lives of one village… No… not just her village… a whole island.
She knows she inst the only one who;s lost someone, she knows… But the way… The way that bullet went through her head. She couldn't look away. Her lifeless body falling to the ground. Blood splattered around, brains and bones scattered around...
Just thinking about it made her want to vomit. The tears slowly made there way down her smooth face. She could feel the wetness slid under her jaw and drip on her arm.
She screams, a scream of heartbreak.
"B-Bell-mere… I-it hurts so much… - sniff-"
Shes balling her eyes out. Face fair into the pillow, arms hugging it. She brought her left leg up and rested against it.
"I-it hurts so much. I-I;m sorry... If I didn't say that... you would of been here... right?" she whimpered.
Shes feeling so small. She feels so lost. Is there anyone that can help her?
No, she cant… she needs to cut off from them. No one can help her, not even the Marines…
Nobody knows but her, as to why she cries.
Doesn't anyone care?
She may think like that now… but maybe in the future?
If she isn't dead by then...
She crying out, muffled cries of lost hope. Lost freedom. Lost childhood.
Nami sat there, she could feel the pillow becoming wet. However she didn't want to move. She needed this… she needed to let out her emotions, let them out where no one is around. She needs this.
No she keep walking, she'll keep living. Every step she makes she'll remember the life she had with her, she'll remember her warms smile. A smile that could make the bad day seem like they never happened.
A smile she had even as she died.
The crying slowly calmed down as she drifted off to sleep...
Maybe in the future... she'll have her life back... She'll be free.
Nami sat there on her knees, blood dripping from the gashes on her shoulder... the shoulder bearing Arlong's mark... A mark of a lost freedom...
She could feel a warm, gentle grip on her hand that was holding the dagger.
"Luffy" she turned, tears streaming down her face.
She suddenly felt anger build up in her body. "What are you doing?! You don't know anything!"
"Yeah" he spoke gently. "I don't know anything"
"This has nothing to do with you!" She clenched dust and sand in her hands and threw it back, back at Luffy. "I told you! Leave this island!" She sobbed
"Yeah you told me"
As she heard those words she could help but let out a quite whimper.
Maybe... Just maybe, she can lean on him... She's seen him fight, she knows he strong. But... Arlong's strong... Could he win... Set her free?
"Luffy..." She brought her hand up to her mouth. And then she turned to him with her vision being a bit blurry.
"Help"
What happened next... She wasn't expecting. The younger boy took of his hat... Him most prized possession and placed it on her head with force... It wasn't a hard or rough force. It was gentle and caring.
"OF COURSE!" The boyd shouted at the top of his lungs.
He started to walk off. Nami's eyes widened and she placed a hand over her mouth, salty tears leaking over them. She had been so out of it that she didnt even notice that not just Luffy... But Zoro, Usopp and Sanji was there, following Luffy to Arlong's park.
Nami watched with awe as she saw Arlong's Park had started to come down. She watched as the desk she was force to sit at... A desk that had blood stained pens, a desk that took her childhood, get thrown out of the building... Along with stacks of maps she had drawn...
All of her bad memories was getting thrown to the wind... The invisible shackles she wore had began to brake apart.. Broken by a pirate of all things.
she could help it, her freedom was coming back to her. Things like this deserved to have tears. She brought her hand up to her mouth, tears slowly making there way down her face.
But not tears of sadness.
No.
Tears off happiness.
She could feel a smile form on her face. Her eyes lit up with hope.
Thank you