A/N: Really, this particular annoyance was spawned when one of my friends tried to wake me up after only three hours of sleep. I may be borderline insomniac, but that's not enough sleep for me. Later, I learned that I can be quite creative when it comes to threats while I'm half-asleep. My friend was quite traumatized. But that instance spawned this after a long and convoluted thought process that I think might have involved strawberries and sugar for breakfast. Yeah, there is no connection between some of my thoughts, but somehow I arrive in relatively the place I want to.
Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note, not even if I fall through a hole in time-space and try to recreate it in the past. I can't draw that well!
1: Sleeping Habits.
Light was an odd person when it came to sleep. No alarm in the world could wake him up before he wanted to wake up. He also slept for exactly as long as he wanted to, no matter what exactly was going on around him. If something attempted to wake him up before that, it was usually met with threats of grave bodily harm spoken in his sleep that were sometimes carried out if anyone other than his little sister, Sayu, tried to wake him up. Sayu was the only one who was able to wake him up early. And that was only because he wanted to wake up when she woke him up.
L was an insomniac, to the point that he looked like a drug user. He also could not stand being in a bedroom for more than three hours. Beds scared him due to past trauma.
What happened to them when they were chained together and Light fell asleep? Let's take a look, shall we?
"Light-kun," L nudged Light with his foot. "Light-kun. It is four in the morning and time to start working on the case."
Light shifted on the bed and mumbled something in his sleep. L sighed in annoyance. Why was the younger man refusing to wake up and comply with L's demands.
"Light-kun," L tried shaking Light's shoulder. "It is time to wake up."
Again, Light ignored him.
Frustrated and impatient to get out of the room and get working, L decided it was time to move onto drastic measures. L had an idea that Light would not be pleasant if woken up in such a violent manner. As such, there was a 83.33% chance that Light would be angry at L, but it was time to start working.
L jerked on the chain, and pulled Light out of the bed and onto the floor. Light did not wake up. However, he did begin to speak in his sleep. L leaned forward to listen, hoping to gain some insight into what to do to wake Light up.
"...goddamn stupid bastard trying to wake me up, I swear to Kami if you don't stop it and leave me alone I'm going to flambe your balls while they're still attached, before castrating you and fucking feeding you your balls on the stick I'm gonna dig outta your ass. Then I'm going to take a dachshund and shove it up where the stick used to be..."
L jerked back at this point and carefully walked backwards, dark gray eyes slightly wider than usual. Light was apparently quite the violent person when one attempted to wake him up in the morning.
L decided it just might be in the best interest of his health to just leave Light alone. After all, Kira would have no problem with implementing any threats he made, and Light was most likely Kira.
Three hours later, it was a cheerful Light who woke up from his refreshing and peaceful sleep. He sat up on the floor, wondering why exactly he wasn't under the multitude of blankets he always burrowed into in his sleep and why he couldn't hear the music Sayu always put on for him so he would wake up. Wait a minute! He forgot! He had been chained to L yesterday, and was consequently sleeping in the headquarters! Oh hell. Light knew that he could get both violent and imaginative when someone other than Sayu, who knew to put on his music to wake him up, attempted to wake him up.
Light looked around frantically for L, who would surely have attempted to wake him up, as that was the only explanation for Light to be on the floor. Light found him, huddled in a corner, staring at Light with a vaguely disturbed look on his face.
"Sorry Ryuuzaki," Light sighed. "I forgot to tell you that I do not wake up before I want to for anyone other than Sayu."
L nodded. "I could see that. And, may I mention that Light-kun has quite a vivid imagination? He managed to horrify me with his threats to my lower body, and I have been a detective for over a decade. That is something I had previously assumed was impossible at this point in my career."
Light chuckled. "I'm sorry?" he asked, not really sure what to say. He didn't even remember what he had said that had so disturbed the detective.
"I was attempting to wake Light-kun up so that we could work on the case," L said, "Perhaps, instead of exchanging formalities, we might do that?"
Light nodded. "Okay, but...do you suppose I could get dressed and take a shower first?" And with that, Light got up, grabbed a suit for the day, and went to the bathroom to get ready for his first day of being chained to L. Said detective watched him go with mildly fear-filled eyes. Perhaps it would be best to leave Light alone in the mornings.
And that was how Light ended up getting enough sleep every night while chained to the insomniac detective.
Yes, I am aware that this was absolutely stupid and OOC. But really, when is a person ever quite the same when they're half-asleep as when they're fully awake?
And I don't know why L has past trauma that includes beds. Or even what it was. Feel free to come to your own conclusions about that.
Really this was just an exercise in utter pointlessness and transferring my real life onto random characters.
Ja ne!