A/N: I love this drabble so much that I decided to use it as my "official" Christmas story :)
Merry Christmas everyone! xo I hope you have a wonderful time with your families and enjoy the holiday spirit :)
Summary: Tony and Ziva have a video call date on Christmas Eve to watch It's A Wonderful Life together which leads to some long-overdue conversations. Tiva. Post 11x02. Christmas drabble.
Disclaimer: I don't own NCIS or any of it's characters. Someone wanna give it to me for Christmas? :D
Please enjoy reading! :)
"Tony?"
A bright smile appeared on Tony's face upon hearing her voice in his apartment. He grabbed the bowl of popcorn and practically ran to the living room. He stopped dead in his tracks when he caught sight of her face on his laptop screen.
"Ziva", he breathed.
"Merry Christmas", she said softly, her eyes sparkling. He'd never seen her smile so beautifully, he was pretty sure of that.
"Here I got us some popcorn", Tony declared, holding up the bowl in his hands.
She chuckled. "And how do you plan on sharing it through the computer?", she asked, smirking.
Right. He ducked his head to hide his blush. God, he really needed to control his babbling when he was around her. The thing was, he was more than nervous and obviously, he couldn't hide it.
"Well, who said I was gonna share it?", he tried to cover up his ridiculous statement.
She bit her lip to keep from laughing. "I have my own popcorn", she instead said, holding up her bowl.
He smiled at her brightly. God, how he'd missed seeing that beautiful face. How he'd missed her. They hadn't really talked ever since he'd left Israel in September. Two weeks ago she'd sent him an email, asking him to watch "It's A Wonderful Life" with her on Christmas Eve. Just like they'd done every year.
"Okay, so I have no idea whether this is gonna work but you did receive my letter, right?", Tony babbled.
Ziva smiled brightly. "I did. Thank you for sending me the DVD", she thanked him. She held it up into the camera for him to see.
"It should work if we just put it in and start it together", he said.
He really hoped it'd work. But then again, even if it didn't he'd still get to talk to her. Which was the best Christmas present he could have asked for.
"How is everyone?", Ziva asked as they put in their DVD and waited for the commercials to pass.
Tony sighed before replying: "They all miss you but I think they're fine, you know. Gibbs is spending Christmas with Leyla and Amira, McGee is with Delilah I think and Abby said something about spending Christmas with her brother. The real one."
He didn't bring up the new girl, Bishop, on purpose. He didn't want Ziva to think that she was being replaced. Because God, she wasn't. Ziva David was irreplaceable and she'd always be. And everyone knew.
"And how are you?", she asked carefully, biting her lip.
He stared into her eyes and got lost in them for a moment. She looked genuinely concerned and worried. Didn't she know he was a mess without her? Why was she even asking?
"Missing you", he replied, shrugging.
He could see her eyes widen and was pretty sure he saw tears pooling in her eyes. He hated to see her like this. But maybe, just maybe, she'd understand that he just wanted her to come home. To him.
"I miss you too", she whispered eventually, raising her hand to wipe away her tears.
"Hey, don't cry, okay? I just..I miss you a lot. But I'm hanging in there. Gibbs doesn't yell at me anymore and I don't drink anymore and.."
"Anymore?"
"Well, uh..you see I kinda was a mess right after I came back to DC. But I'm, um, doing better."
"Tony.."
"No, really, I'm doing a lot better. I still miss you like hell but I get my work done and I realized drinking is not an option and I spend most nights at home and.."
"Tony."
"Yes, Ziva?"
"I am so sorry. I never intended to hurt you in any of this. I wanted to protect you and I ended up hurting you. I am so sorry, Tony."
"Don't apologize, Ziva. I understand. I just..I wish things would have been different."
"Me too."
They were both silent for a while, both trying to comprehend what had been said. He couldn't quite understand why she wasn't coming home. She was obviously not happy to be away from him either. So, why was she staying in Israel?
"What did you mean when you said you spend most nights at home now?", Ziva eventually asked, not meeting his eyes.
He sighed and took a deep breath. "I spent many nights getting wasted at random bars and ended up at Gibbs' place, drinking more bourbon and eventually falling asleep on his workbench. I also feel asleep at my desk at the office a couple times", he admitted.
"You could not sleep?", she assumed.
He shook his head. There was no point in lying to her. He knew she could see right through him.
"I could not sleep either. It is lonely here without you", she confessed, surprising him.
"I told you I would come over for Christmas. But you didn't want me to."
"It did not seem right to ask you to do that."
"You didn't ask. I offered."
"Tony, I.."
The music sounding from the DVD cut her off. "Main menu?", Tony asked. She nodded.
"Press play in three.."
"Two.."
"One.."
They both pressed play at the same time and laughed when it indeed worked. To be honest, Tony had assumed it wouldn't work at first and they'd end up restarting the movie over and over again.
They watched the movie in silence with occasional comments from Tony's side and chuckles in response from Ziva. When the end credits rolled, Tony pulled the laptop onto his lap to get a better view of her.
"Merry Christmas, Ziva", he said softly.
She smiled at him and raised her finger to the screen to where he could only assume his cheek was. He raised his finger as well and touched her cheek on his screen.
"Merry Christmas, Tony", she whispered.
His heart ached and God, how he longed to just lean forward and touch her for real, kiss her lips. But he knew it wasn't possible. Ziva seemed to sense his longing and smiled at him sadly.
"I know", she said, obviously having thought about the same thing.
"I really wish you were here", he admitted softly.
"There is nothing I want more than to be with you right now, believe me. But I need to be ready, Tony. And I am not yet ready to give myself to you without a lifetime of burden on my shoulders."
"I know. And I understand. But..can you promise me something?"
"Anything."
"Promise me to come home to me eventually. To not leave me hanging too long."
"Of course. Promise me something as well?"
"You know I'd do anything for you."
"Promise me you will wait for me? No matter how long it takes?"
"You don't even have to ask. I love you and only you and nothing will ever change that."
A single tear escaped her eye upon hearing his words but she was quick to wipe it away.
"I love you, too", she whispered.
They looked into each others' eyes for what felt like forever, until Tony eventually cleared his throat awkwardly.
"We should do this more often. Have a movie night, I mean", he suggested, scared she'd reject him.
But she didn't. Instead she just smiled brightly and nodded. "I would like that very much", she agreed.
"Friday nights sound good for you?", he asked.
"Very."
"Okay, um..see you on Friday then?"
"Yes, Tony. I will see you on Friday."
His finger hovered over the "end call"-button but he couldn't bring himself to press it just yet. He didn't want to let her go, didn't want the moment to end.
"Tony?", she suddenly asked.
His head snapped up and he locked his eyes on hers. "Yes?", he replied.
"Next year..I will be home for Christmas. I promise", she whispered.
He could feel tears pooling in his eyes but didn't even bother to hide it. She was coming home. Next year, they would spend Christmas together. This time next year he'd be able to hold her in his arms, touch her, kiss her.
"If you don't, I will come and get you", he vowed, making her laugh.
"You will not have to. I keep my promises", she assured him.
She smiled at him softly and moved her finger along the screen. God, he couldn't wait to feel her touch for real again.
"Merry Christmas, Tony", she said again.
And before he was able to say anything else, the call ended. Tony stared at the screen for a long time before whispering into the night:
"Merry Christmas, Ziva."
A/N: MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE! xo
Please let me know what you think in the reviews section :)
Enjoy your holidays and have a very merry Christmas! xo :)
Much love,
~ Caro