I don't own Axis Powers Hetalia

I swear, this is what happens when you watch a One Piece movie and after, listen to 'Ranma no Baka'.

Oh, and this is like a side story for IceFlake 77's story, "Aren't We?". So I really advise you readers to read that first. Wow, there were 3 R's in that sentence…

It's just advice, though. It's your life, enjoy the story.

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Why Is The Rum Gone? D:

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"Haaaah!"

"Wait, no! England, that's not the Kraken, stop!"

WHACK! WHACK! WHACK! WHACK! CRAAASH!

"Take that, you wretched (hic!) scoundrel!" England said triumphantly, swaying left and right, his star wand on his hand. Philippines stared in horror at the so-called 'Kraken' the older country defeated, this was the last time he brought any native drinks from his home anywhere.

Ever!

"That 'wretched scoundrel' you just whacked to smithereens was Kuya's laptop! It didn't even look like a gigantic octopus-thing!" Philippines exclaimed, massaging his head for the incoming headache that would come soon, very soon. He had stopped using the honorific 'kuya' because apparently, it sounded like a dark curse to England. Having a drunk, British man who is currently wearing an angel costume in your big brother's house was not a fun thing to experience. "England, could you just sit down quietly and wait for Kuya to arrive? You can do that, right?"

"I (hic!) refuse to obey your re- (hic!) quest! You speak (hic!) queerly," England replied, pointing a finger at the very confused and tired fourteen-year-old boy. "Your pro- (hic!)-nunciati- (hic!)-on has a (hic!) strange accent, it bu- (hic!)-tchers the language! I cannot (hic!) listen to someone with a (hic!) strange accent!"

'Okay, that was just mean.' It wasn't his fault his English was taught by America and not by him.

"Also, you-… you and that (hic!) man dragged me (hic!) away from my o- (hic!)- wn house!" the drunk blonde accused, glaring at Philippines.

'If we left you there alone, with your tea sets and books opened to be destroyed, who knows what havoc you would have done after a few minutes?'

"And you (hic!) can't impris- (hic!) –on me (hic!) 'ere!" he continued, pointing his star wand upwards. "For I am the (hic!) great nation… uh… ahm…"

"… England." Philippines supplied.

"Yes, England!" … England announced, his drunk-hiccups (yes, it's a word here, I say so) currently forgotten. "And I'm always the hero!"

"… No, that's Ku-… uhm, America." Kuya was a taboo for a drunken England, Philippines learned the hard way.

"Oh, then… I wish to be one with-!"

"Oh, hell no! That's Belarus!"

"Kolkolkolkolkolkolkolkol!"

"That's Russia." Sweatdrop.

"Ve~!"

"That's Italy."

"I'm a hero!"

"That's America, again." he deadpanned.

"I rummaged through your drawer and saw your thongs! They were beautiful!"

"Ew. That's France."

"All women are required to wear, miniskirts!"

"That's… Roy Mustang from Fullmetal Alchemist?" Philippines quirked an eyebrow, since when did England watch anime?

"I am the Box Ghost! Beware!"

"…" Okay, since when did he watch that?

"… I see dead unicorns…"

... Creepy, very creepy.

"Gah! That filthy sea creature has returned, be gone foul beast!" England said, launching an attack, this time, at America's coffee-maker. "Britannia Beam!"

Sigh.

WHAC-!

"Philippines, I'm back! Sorry if- What the hell happened to my laptop?!" America stared in horror at the chunks and bits that was once his laptop. "And don't you dare destroy my coffee-maker!"

He got a handful of England's toga and yanked him away from what would have been the next electronic device to be murdered. England gave the bespectacled blonde a frown, he whacked America on the head with his star wand in reply to being yanked away.

America just ignored him.

"… You know, you look like that little boy I took in years ago, are you two related?" Whack! Whack! Whack!

"…"

"…"

Whack!

"... Yeah, this is why Filipinos are mild drinkers."

Whack! Whack! Whack! Whack!

America needed aspirin, badly.

Yes, we Filipinos are mild drinkers. XD

In this story, Philippines is 14, usually I portray him at around 10. Reason why he's 14 here is 'cause it corresponds to "Aren't We?"

So any corrections? Feel free to point it out.