Disclaimer: Lost is owned by ABC Television and was created by Jeffrey Lieber, J. J. Abrams and Damon Lindelof, produced by Bad Robot Productions. I don't own it but I love it!
"Being a role model is the most powerful form of educating. . .Too often fathers neglect it because they get so caught up in making a living they forget to make a life." ― John Wooden
There was some drama at the caves. Claire had been waking everybody at night with screaming. She claimed someone was trying to hurt her and the baby. This happened several nights in a row, causing her to cry and panic. The cave residents were all on edge and tired, unsure if it was a real threat or bad dreams.
Jack thought it was hormones. Claire was angry her when he offered something to help her sleep. She packed her stuff and left. I was at the caves when she stormed off. Charlie ran after her. She was headed back to her tent at the beach. I would keep an eye on her if she stayed there. I decided to move my small shelter closer just in case.
I wasn't sure if she was dreaming or not. Most likely she was. In any case, she would need comfort and reassurance if it happened again, not just from Charlie. I doubted she would let him hold her at this point the way a girlfriend or sister might when she cried. She liked him but I could tell he was still in the outer edges of the friend zone with her.
We have been stranded on the island for almost two weeks.
Sayid stumbled in the caves soon after they left. His head wound was dressed crudely and a cloth was tied around his left leg as a tourniquet. It was badly injured and bleeding. He limped and had no pack. He could barely walk. It looked like he had rushed to get to us.
Jack and I ran to him before he collapsed. We grabbed him by each arm before he hit the cave floor and set him down gently. Jack immediately looked at his leg and started to rip his pants to get a better view.
He was in rough shape. He said the French woman was still alive and held him captive. He said we aren't alone. There are others on the island. Locke stood with me as Jack tended to Sayid's wounds. We were trying to figure out the implications of the news.
Sayid passed out from the pain and exhaustion.
I stood by anxiously, hoping he would be okay. I was concerned about what he said. It sounded like the other people were hostile. He was warning us.
In the midst of the turmoil over Sayid's return, Hurley came running into the caves out of breath, looking for Jack. Jack was unwrapping Sayid's leg. Hurley bent over, trying to get words out. "He wasn't on the plane."
Hurley had been going around taking a census of all of the passengers and checking it against the official passenger list. He stood near me and Locke.
"Who wasn't on the plane?" I asked.
"The Canadian guy, Ethan. He isn't on the passenger manifest." We all looked at each other in confusion and started talking. All of us present had interacted with Ethan at some point. He was a little odd and very knowledgeable, but none of us questioned his presence. He had been there since the beginning. Even Jack had interacted with him when Ethan brought medications and medical supplies he found within days after the crash.
An energy started to build around us, like a buzzing noise. My scalp tingled from the possibility we were infiltrated for unknown reasons.
"Well, where is he?" Jack asked impatiently.
Hurley was still trying to catch his breath. "I don't know . . . I talked to him yesterday and. . ."
"Jack. Sayid's leg." I pointed out. Blood oozing out onto the floor. Jack immediately resumed examining it, put a rag underneath and reached for peroxide.
"Anybody seen Ethan?" Jack called out.
People were filtering into the cave by now. Some were checking out the commotion and others had probably heard about Sayid's return.
There was a feeling in our small group that something terrible was brewing as we stood over Sayid.
"HAS ANYONE SEEN ETHAN?" Jack yelled over the din of the people who just arrived.
Michael spoke up. "Yeah. He said he was gonna get wood and took off on the path to the beach." He looked at Sayid. "Is he okay, man? What happened . . .?"
Jack had just finished dressing Sayid's leg. His face changed from frustration and confusion to realization and panic. "Where's Charlie?"
"What?" I asked.
"Where's Charlie?" Jack asked.
"He went after Claire." Locke answered.
Everything clicked into place. Jack looked at Locke and took off down the path to the beach. Locke understood too. He went tearing after him. The manifest. Others. Ethan isn't one of us. Claire's nightmares. Claire wasn't dreaming that someone wanted to hurt her and the baby. It must have been Ethan.
I covered my face for a moment, hoping they would catch up. I looked at Hurley. I wanted to go after them but knew Locke well enough that he wouldn't go away half-cocked with no supplies. His knives and gear were in the cave. I was glad he was with Jack. Jack went out in a full sprint. For all I knew, he could run into a dozen Ethans, all with ill intent.
I took over checking Sayid's wrappings and redressed his head wound. Sun came over to help. All we could do was wait. It hoped my instincts were right about Locke coming back. Jack couldn't track and Locke wouldn't take off unprepared for what could be a long and dangerous journey.
Sure enough, Locke came back without Jack about a half hour later.
"You just let him go? Alone?" I was frustrated. Jack had no idea where he was going. One direction could split off into another. He could easily get lost.
Locke answered me calmly while preparing. "Couldn't stop him. Don't worry. I'll catch up. What's the word from the beach?"
I already had news from arrivals. "Nothing. Nobody's seen them."
Locke nodded.
"I'm coming with you." I stated. My pack was on and buckled. I was ready to run.
"I figured you might." He immediately handed me one of his large blades. I fastened the sheath to my belt. Locke and I were ready to head out.
I heard Shannon's voice behind us and sighed. I wasn't going to wait for their family drama. I had enough of it from hiking with them with the transceiver.
"What are you doing? We need to get our water and go back to the beach! This isn't our problem!" Shannon snipped at him in a bossy tone.
Boone stood behind Locke. "I heard you're forming a search party. Can I help?"
Locke and I looked at Boone with Shannon on his heels.
"Search party? This is a deserted island." She scoffed. "No choppers. No Amber Alert. How exactly are you going to find them?"
Locke looked at Boone's expression. Shannon was holding him back. I could see it. Locke was probably thinking the same thing.
Boone was inept, a sheltered rich kid, but had an eagerness to help and learn. He needed to stop hanging out with his sister all the time and learn from experienced men to help develop skills if we were stuck here indefinitely.
I doubted he would be excited about harvesting fruit with me. That's why I thought time with Locke, Sayid or Jack or would benefit him. I don't know what kind of role model his Dad was. I respected Boone's willing attitude to help with any trek or task, even though he screwed up, like taking the gun and clip from Sayid and Sawyer. His intentions were good but delivery needed work. That would come with guidance and time.
Locke looked at Shannon. "We will find them by following Ethan's trail. No one can walk through wilderness without leaving signs: bending blades of grass, breaking twigs, especially with captives in tow."
Locke extended a knife to Boone. I felt in that moment Locke was going to take Boone under his wing. "And yes, I could use another hand if you're up for it."
Boone took the knife and put it on his belt. He smiled, his back to Shannon, and seemed grateful for the validation. "I'm up for it."
I watched Locke. He was looking at Boone carefully while he strapped on the knife. I don't know what was going through his mind. It was as if he was really seeing him. Locke spent a lot of time watching people and observing, something I did out of habit. He turned and looked at me. I think he saw something in Boone.
"Then let's get moving." Locke said.
We stepped past Shannon towards the cave exit. She wore a look of disbelief but said nothing.
I heard Michael and Walt before I saw them.
Walt was enthusiastically talking about joining the search. "I could take Vincent, you know, he could sniff something that belonged to Charlie and I can help."
Michael's tone was final. "I said no, man!"
Michael ran after Locke. Boone and I were behind him, lagging a bit. I hoped this was the last delay. We had Claire, Charlie and now Jack to find, not to mention Ethan and any other hostile people. I was antsy and wanted to leave. We were losing precious minutes already.
"A lot of us don't want to just sit here waiting for news. We're willing to go out and look too." Michael spoke but Locke barely stopped to look at him.
"Thanks, but we're set. Anyone else is just going to slow us down." He glanced back at Walt instead. I know why Locke said no. Michael was the only Dad on the island.
I hate to say it, but we were more experienced, aside from Boone, and expendable. In Michael's case, Walt would lose his Dad if anything happened to him. The three of us departing didn't have children. Neither did Jack.
Michael was perturbed. "Yeah. Okay. So maybe I can put together another party."
Locke agreed quickly, ready to make tracks. "Good idea. We're going north. I suggest you go south." Michael's expression turned sour at the suggestion.
Locke strode off quickly after that, with me and Boone keeping pace. We needed to not only pick up Ethan's trail but Jack's now.
Jack was easier to find. He had run through the jungle and clearings like a bull in a china shop, leaving large footprints that were widely spaced. It told us he was running at full speed. It looked like he had made at least one full loop. We found him after that in a clearing looking discouraged, but not defeated. He turned and saw us.
"Good thing you've been going in a circle." Locke said. He had seen the same thing as I did trail-wise. "Not the best search grid but we might not have found you otherwise."
I was happy to see him, despite the circumstances. I walked up to Jack and looked into his eyes. He looked down at me. I could see he was happy to see me as well.
"You find anything?" I asked.
Jack's face grew cloudy. "No." He sounded angry and ashamed.
Locke approached us both and signaled to Jack. His face was compassionate and sincere when he looked at him. Jack was breathing hard, his t-shirt drenched in sweat. Jack stepped away from me to talk to him. Boone and I stood nearby and heard every word.
"You should get back to the caves. Take care of Sayid's leg." Locke suggested. He was the voice of reason.
Jack blew off the suggestion. "I dressed Sayid's leg. You found me. Now we can find Charlie and Claire. So, do we have a trail to follow or not?"
Locke continued to try and reason with him. "Jack . . . This is my fault." He knew Jack blamed himself, same as I did. It was very astute of him. He tried to shift it to his own shoulders.
Jack looked at him in disbelief. "What?"
Locke continued. "I've been hunting with Ethan. I spent time with him and never sensed anything . . . off." Locke pointed at the trail. "For everything I know about hunting? Tracking? Whoever he is, he knows more. If we catch up to him, I don't want anything to happen to the only trained physician on the island." Locke looked at him and spoke humbly, reasoning with Jack's logical side. "Go back and be the doctor. Let me be the hunter."
Jack just looked at him. Locke's words didn't penetrate his stubborn brain. "Can we go now?"
Locke shook his head, but accepted Jack wasn't going to listen. "Follow me."
Locke looked around to pick up the trail. Jack followed, exchanging a look with me. He was hell-bent on finding Claire and Charlie. He then looked at Boone.
"Jack." Boone said briefly in greeting. I had the feeling Boone felt proud running with the "big dogs" now, if you could call us that.
Jack didn't change expressions, only gave him a slight nod and moved on. I know Jack likes Boone but also knew how he felt about his lack of abilities.
I understood but I saw potential with the right mentorship. How else was Boone going to learn? We needed more capable people in camp. Boone had the attitude coaches look for in team players. Without it, there's no personal growth.
Locke pulled a red t-shirt from his pack and started to tear off thin, long strips and tied one around a tree trunk. Boone was watching him.
"We keep our progress marked by line of sight. We tie these off so we don't get lost." He explained to Boone.
"But you can lead us back to camp, right?" Boone asked.
Locke looked at him with that serious gaze of his. "Unless something happens to me." It was the truth. We all were at risk here.
Boone tensed up. Despite that, he refused to show any feeling. Instead he put out his hand for the shirt. "Then maybe I better take marker detail." Locke smiled at that and handed over the shirt.
Jack and I were behind them. Jack was anxious and pushing hard for us to move faster constantly. It was impossible to track and run. It would be easy to miss signs and start heading off the wrong direction.
Jack was beyond impatient. "Anything?" He asked Locke.
"Not yet." Locke answered. This wasn't the first time he had been asked that.
Locke took out a bottle of water and drank some. He looked ready for a break. We all were, except Jack, who was pushing Locke hard.
"If you can't find the trail . . ." Jack paced next to Locke.
Locke looked at him but refused to be pushed. "I'll pick it up again. But we should rest for a minute. Get our clarity back." He offered the water bottle to Jack.
"You're taking a break? It's four o'clock. If the sun sets, there's no way . . ." Jack started. He was obsessed with pursuing Ethan, making us run at a breakneck pace.
"It's four twenty-five, and yes, I'm taking a break. Sorry." Lock shrugged off his pack and sat next to Boone. I shook my head, a little agitated with Jack. He knew nothing about tracking. We needed to keep our strength up.
We had no idea what we were going to run into. Jack was looking at Locke angrily. I noticed Boone's glance. He seemed to be intrigued by their interaction. I wanted Jack to disengage and talk to me.
"Jack." I said quietly. "Can I talk to you?"
Jack was trying to get Locke to engage in a stare down. It was beyond ridiculous. Locke refused to look at him.
Jack followed me several yards away beyond the eyes and ears of Locke and Boone. We were alone now. I was more uphill than Jack. He refused to go further. I was tired. Sweat poured off of my face and body and my lime green, henley t-shirt was soaked.
"Would it kill you to give the guy a little bit of space?" I asked him.
"It might." He said. He sounded mulish and began to pace.
"Stop that!" I said. I wanted to sit badly as well but Jack was driving us like the devil was chasing him. This was more than Claire and Charlie missing. Jack blamed himself and something else was driving him to act like this. This wasn't the first time I had seen the self-blame and obsessive, driven behavior. It had probably been programmed in him since he was young.
"What?" Jack asked.
"That." I said. He looked in my eyes. When we made eye contact, I knew that he understood exactly what I meant. He shook his head in frustration. "What's going on, Jack?"
He broke eye contact with me. He paced closer and was close to tears with his frustration and anger. It wasn't Locke, as I suspected. He was beating himself up. "I didn't believe her. Claire. I gave her a sedative."
"Jack, you can't . . ."
"She told me someone was coming after her. That she was attacked and she sounded so . . . out of it." He ran his hand through his wet hair. "I thought the pregnancy was amping up her stress. I just . . ." He paused. I could hear the pain in his voice. "I didn't believe her."
I looked at him and felt his pain. I didn't know what to say or do to make it go away. I wanted to touch or hug him but now wasn't the time. I didn't think he'd accept it with the self-hatred he was feeling. It was an old and unwanted companion of mine too that made me feel like a failure or worse.
"JACK! KATE!" Boone's voice called for us.
We rushed back to join him. Locke was crouching on the ground holding something.
"What is it?" I asked.
He held it up and opened his palm slowly. It was a piece of medical tape with the letter "L" on it. It was around someone's finger, Charlie's. He started with "F-A-T-E" across his four fingers initially, but after several days of being stranded, changed it to "L-A-T-E" with the black Sharpie he kept in his pocket.
Locke examined it and looked at Jack, his eyes twinkling. He may have smiled if the circumstances weren't so grim but was pleased with the find.
"It's Charlie's." Jack said.
Boone stepped up, looking at us. "What? You think it just came off?"
Jack shook his head. "No. I think he's leaving us a trail."
Locke nodded. I agreed too. Jack's face, full of despair, shifted.
There was a glimmer of hope in it because of the small, discarded tape in Locke's hand.
We continued to follow the trail left by Ethan with Charlie and Claire in tow. Jack moved ahead of us at times. This time he was crouching at the base of a banyan tree in a clearing before it turned into dense jungle. He picked up the letter "A" on the same medical tape.
"They went this way." Jack said confidently.
I stood with Boone a few yards behind him. We were covered in sweat and breathing hard. I was in good shape with my morning foraging and daily activity but the humidity was unbearable. Locke went beyond Jack. I could see him inspecting the ground and running his fingers across a fern.
"I'm not sure." He turned to face all of us. We were all slightly uphill from him. "There's another trail here."
Jack stood up and crossed over to where Locke was, yards from where Jack was pointing to moments before. "What do you mean another trail?"
Locke pointed to the grass. "People moved off this way."
Jack looked frustrated again and held up the letter "A." "Charlie is leaving us these to follow." He pointed again past the banyan tree. "They're headed that way."
Locke looked at him, frowning.
"What if Charlie isn't the one leaving them?" I asked. Both men looked at me. I could feel Boone's stare as well. "If Ethan knows we're behind him, he might be setting up a dummy trail. Take off one way, then double-back in his own footprints."
Jack looked surprised.
"Wait, now you're a tracker?" Boone asked.
I said nothing. I looked at Jack. Locke turned to me. I glanced at him. He seemed amused. "You're just full of surprises." My face didn't change. He didn't know the half of it.
Jack stood, excited. "If there are two trails, we can split up. I'm taking this one. . ."
Locke shook his head. "We should stay together, Jack . . ." I agreed with Locke. Cutting our numbers in half was bad. We still didn't know what we were going to run into ahead.
"Why?" Jack asked. "We have two trails . . ." He pointed at me. "And apparently two trackers."
Locke thought for a moment. Jack was determined and I could see it too. There was no talking Jack out of this, even if it meant barreling into bunch of people with guns. He wasn't thinking. It was split up or he would just take off on his own. I wasn't going to let him do that.
"Be careful." Locke said. He gave me a look conveying the same message, knowing I was the only one listening. I nodded at him.
Jack raced ahead of me like we were running a marathon. He wasn't giving me time to check the trail to make sure we were even on it. A large leaf was in the way. He smashed through it and kept going.
He was breaking twigs, branches, and leaves plus leaving footprints everywhere. Jack was making it difficult for me to do my job. Plus, my legs were shorter than his. It wasn't easy to keep pace with him.
"Would you please slow down? Jack?" I was exasperated. He was a man on a mission. I hoped it wasn't to our detriment.
Jack stopped long enough for me to catch up. I was dripping with sweat.
"You said they went this way . . ." His eyes were burned as if he had a fever.
"I think they went this way. I'm not as good at this as Locke." I bent over a moment to catch my breath and wiped my forehead as I stood.
Jack had already moved ahead several paces without letting me check. I started to follow him again.
"So, when'd you pick up the tracking skills, Kate? Before or after you were on the run?" He asked. His words were piercing and unkind.
Ouch! I looked down at him, unhappy. Where the hell did that come from? There's a hundred different ways he could have asked me that question. That one stung. "I'm trying to help, Jack."
Jack knew he hurt me. He pushed on anyways with no apology, making me the focus of his frustration. "You know what might help? A little honesty. Just give me something real. Anything."
I gave him an irritated look, closed my eyes and took a deep breath and tilting my head back for a moment. "My Dad was in the Army. Ranger Battalion." I looked back at Jack. "He was stationed at Fort Lewis for a while. Washington State. We would go hiking together. One day we spent eight hours tracking deer." I paused, my chest started to hurt thinking about my Dad, the guilt and missing him bubbling up. I tried to push it down so it didn't surface. "Being in the woods, that was his religion." I stared at Jack with hard eyes. "That was real."
He said nothing. I started to walk past him. As I neared him, I glanced up. "Anything you want to share, Jack?" I gave him a penetrating look. I knew he had some untold Dad stories. Maybe that's why he pushing us at warp speed into God knows what.
He just looked at me. He knew what I was asking for. His eyes were wide and he quietly said, "No." I passed him to pick up the trail. I didn't hear him behind me.
I left him with his thoughts as I tried to pick up on anything to point us in the right direction. I was finally able taking point, the way a tracker should be, without him disturbing the trail.
Rain starting pouring soon after. It was torrential, end of the world type of rain. It the same kind we had when the "thing" or monster chased us away from the front end of the plane.
We rushed to the foot of a hill. It was covered in long grass. Wedged between two rocks was a white piece of tape with the letter "T" from Charlie's hand. We looked at each other.
"I guess we were right." Jack said grimly about the choice of taking this trail and where I had led him. "Where to now?"
Before I could answer, a horrible noise surrounded us. It was hard to tell where it was coming from. It was a cross between a howl, something human. The trees were rustling. It felt like we were being watched as we stood in the ravine. Then we heard something else. It sounded like a human scream from the top of the hill we were facing.
I wasn't sure if it was a scream or wind with the horrible weather. Jack didn't care. He looked at me before jumping onto the slope, trying to climb his way up. It was muddy and terribly slippery. I tried to follow. I found roots and vines to cling to.
The hill grew steeper and steeper. I grabbed anything I could to stay vertical. Jack did the same. "This can't be right. How could they have gone this way?" I yelled over the rain.
"Just follow me! Keep moving!" Jack pressed on despite the onslaught of rain and wind. It was hard to take more than two steps without slipping in the mud that was starting to pour down the hill.
I shivered as I heard another noise. It wasn't the wind, or was it? It almost sounded like strange whispers. I clung to the little vines that made a bundle when I put my hands around all of them, trying to tune them out.
Jack suddenly slipped. I couldn't catch his hand. He tried to grab for anything, but gravity had a hold on his large frame. He tumbled down the steep slope in the mud, gaining momentum until he was out of sight.
"Jack!" I yelled.
I made my way down the slope the best I could without falling or slipping. I didn't know if he was injured. I was afraid he was and tried to be quick but didn't want to end up hurt. I couldn't help him if something happened to me.
I had to find Jack. I climbed down as quickly as I could, not realizing how far we had come. My feet struggling to find places to grip in the slippery muck.
The rain stopped suddenly. It felt like forever but I made it to the bottom of the ravine which had turned into a flash-flood creek bed.
Jack was laying among the rocks near a large tree. I saw him and the blood on the side of his face. I was frightened. I ran to him and kneeled, touching his face tenderly. "Jack! Jack, please! Jack!" Tears flooded my eyes. I gingerly touched his head where he was bleeding to see how bad his injury was.
Jack's eyes snapped open. He saw me but was groggy. I half-smiled in relief, but more tears fell.
"Jack, you're bleeding. Are you okay? What happened?"
"How long was I out?" He asked.
By then I had grabbed a rag from my backpack and was blotting his face and temple. "Two minutes. You slid away."
"Ethan." Jack said. He grimaced when he tried to move.
"What?" I asked. I dabbed at his wounds, hovering closely over him. My hand was on the back of his neck. My face was inches from his, inspecting his wounds, making sure he was really okay.
"Ethan was here." He said.
"Jack, you hit your head." I told him.
"He was here." He insisted. Jack grunted and sat up, then stood. He was a little off balance at first. I was up in a flash, grabbed him when he stumbled, then held onto him. I was beyond worried.
"Jack." I said softly. "You have to stop."
"What?" Jack asked.
"The rain's washed the trail away. Even if you did see him, they're gone." I explained.
Jack looked down at me and pulled away. "No! I'm not going to let him do this!"
I looked at him. His gaze was distant, like he wasn't thinking about Ethan anymore. I was confused about what he was talking about. His mind wasn't in the present.
"Not letting him?" I asked but it was pointless.
Jack was already moving up the incline and sliding his way through the muck back up the hillside.
"JACK!" I yelled. He didn't listen.
He muttered to himself. I caught the words as he climbed. "Not again! Not again!" What was he talking about?
I stuffed the rack in my pack and took off after him, making quicker progress with my light weight. I caught up to him and passed him, using the small vines and branches, some of which were too light for him to use for support.
I wasn't going to let him get ahead of me and be alone this time. If Ethan was there, we would face him together. My knife was sheathed on my right side and ready.
We cleared the hillside and raced into the dense foliage. Jack's pace was determined. So was mine. I didn't know if we'd catch them now.
My hopes were dwindling, but I was willing to tie my fate to Jack's no matter what.
The light grew dimmer as we ran.
I led the way and knocked back a large leaf. Jack was somewhere behind me. I found myself facing Charlie, hanging from a noose made of those small vines. The "E" was still on his pinky. A ratty cloth was covering his eyes. I screamed at the sight of him.
Jack came up behind me. "NO! NO!" He yelled. He ran ahead and wrapped his arms around Charlie's legs, pushing him up to get slack and help him breath.
"You have to cut the vines, Kate!"
I pulled out Locke's large knife and did my best to scale the slippery tree next to Charlie. The knife was between my teeth, blade side out. When I got high enough I turned and held out the knife to cut but he was too far away. "I can't reach it!"
Jack moved Charlie's body over closer, holding his entire weight to help him breath if he was still alive. I stretched and still couldn't reach. Jack battled the mud to get him closer. I slipped and climbed a little higher since the tree leaned towards Charlie.
"Just hold on, Charlie! Hold on!" Jack pleaded.
I launched myself onto a branch. I held onto it and moved, holding the knife out again. Jack slipped, losing his grip on Charlie when his feet slipped in the mud. Jack picked him up again and pushed him towards me.
In the meantime, I stretched as far as I could, one hand holding the end of the branch but the vines were still out of reach. I grabbed another nearby branch angrily and used my frustration to arch my body forward. I cut into the vines and sawed quickly, slashing through the mess that was suspending him.
Charlie's body fell. Jack caught him and fell to the ground with him, breaking Charlie's fall. He laid him on his back and lifted the blindfold. I had dropped down, sheathing the knife and hurried over.
Jack checked for vitals but Charlie's body was motionless. His eyes were sunken and had red rings underneath along with red around his throat from where he was tied. His lips were blue.
Dread engulfed me.
"He's not breathing." Jack said. I didn't know what to do.
Jack began CPR right away, tilting Charlie's head, but still no breathing. He ripped Charlie's shirt open and started compressions, then he breathed into Charlie's mouth.
Nothing.
Jack resumed compressions. "Come on! Come on!"
I stood there in shock, frozen to the spot.
Jack continued compressions. "Come on! Breathe!" He put his ear to Charlie's mouth.
Nothing.
Jack tilted Charlie's head back again and breathed into it. He went back to compressions. His face was desperate. I broke into sobs. We were too late.
"Come on, dammit! Breathe! COME ON!" Jack yelled.
I knelt beside Jack, choking back tears. "He's . . . He's not . . ." I tried to touch Jack's shoulder, to comfort him, something.
Jack refused to give up. He closed his fist and slammed it into Charlie's chest. It shocked me the first time he did it. He did it again.
And again.
And again.
And again.
Jack put his ear to Charlie's mouth, checking for signs of breathing, waiting.
Nothing.
Jack was bent over him. I stood behind him.
There was nothing but silence.
I put my hand on Jack's shoulder, trying to comfort him as much as myself as I cried. "Jack. It's okay. It's okay." Jack's shoulder's drooped in sorrow and defeat. I could feel it. There was a sense of failure coursing through his body and up through my hand.
Then I felt his body tense up. He raised his fist and hit Charlie's chest again. He screamed this time at the top of his lungs. "COME ON!"
He brought his fist down again one more time. I heard the slam as I turned my back, tears falling.
Suddenly, Charlie shot up with a loud gasp, taking his first breath in minutes.
I burst into new tears and rushed over. I knelt opposite of Jack and scooped up Charlie's head and torso in my arms like a baby. Jack held him from the other side too.
We looked at Charlie. He was still gasping for air. Jack and I looked at each other through our tears. We both smiled.
Jack was short of breath but relieved.
We had a small moment of joy and victory, despite the horrific circumstances.
It took a while to get Charlie upright and help him back between the two of us. We came across Locke's red tree markers and followed them back to the caves.
I wish I could say it was a victorious return. Charlie was alive. That was something, but we lost Claire.
I tried to stay in the moment and just focus on getting Charlie back. I didn't want to break down and run through the questions I had pushed in the back of my head starting with "Why?" We needed to focus on what we had and what was in our control. Charlie was back and needed food, water and medical care.
We settled him by the fire on a rock ledge. I wrapped him in a blanket. We looked at him. His eyes were hollow and distant and he refused to speak.
I went to the spring to get more water. I heard a voice and turned. Shannon had followed me.
"They aren't back yet." She said.
I looked at her. Her face was different. Any attitude or chip on her shoulder was gone. She looked vulnerable and worried.
I gave her a forced smile. "I'm sure they just made camp for the night. If there's anyone on this island that your brother's going be safe with, it's Locke."
She seemed to accept my answer but was still unhappy.
I returned to find Jack examining Charlie. I sat off to the side to give them space.
Jack was touching the bruising gently on his neck. "That hurt?"
Nothing from Charlie.
He had an empty look in his eyes.
"You breathing okay?" Jack asked.
Still nothing.
Charlie hadn't moved or blinked.
Jack moved in close to Charlie. His face was filled with compassion. He shifted so he was eye to eye with him. "Charlie. You've gotta talk to me. We're gonna go back out to look for Claire the moment the sun's back up, so we need your help, man."
Charlie was silent.
"Is there anything you can tell us about what you remember, where you were going, did you see or hear anything?" Jack asked gently.
Nothing.
Charlie stared dead ahead without making eye contact.
A few moments went by. Then he final spoke. His voice was hollow and flat. The words came slowly. "I didn't see anything. Hear anything. I don't remember . . . Anything." His voice gave me chills. It was a voice from the grave.
Charlie still stared dead ahead with no eye contact with Jack.
"Claire." He said flatly.
"What about Claire?" Jack asked quietly.
"That's all they wanted." Charlie answered in the same tone.
"They? I don't understand." Jack tried to coax more information from him.
Finally, Charlie tried to look at Jack and focus on him. His eyes weren't dead. They held pain, sorrow and loss. "All they wanted was Claire."
I covered my mouth with my hand. Jack and I made eye contact over Charlie's head. Jack's eyes were filled with guilt again. My eyes felt damp and I looked down in sorrow.
I had so many questions about her abduction, but no answers. Nobody did.
I wished with every fiber of my being that she was okay.
I hoped for a second miracle, that Claire and her baby would be back soon.