The sound of the gun firing startled her awake. She shot up in her bed covered in sweat and she swore she could smell gunpowder.
Her heart was racing, glancing at the clock on the nightstand it was 3:34 a.m.
She sighed heavily, resigning herself to sleep.
It had been nearly a week since Fisk has been imprisoned.
So why were the nightmares continuing?
Karen felt terrible for lying to Matt about saying things were better, she lied to a blind guy for crying out loud who does that? Things were so far from "better" or "okay" or "alright" that it wasn't even funny.
She hated going to her apartment, hated being alone at the office, hated being by herself.
She would have laughed at how weak and vulnerable she had become if it wasn't so terribly sad and true.
She tried to clear her conscience with Ben's widow, but the elderly woman insisted that Ben died doing what he loved.
If she hadn't pushed him to come with her, if she hadn't kept digging and uncovered Fisk's mother maybe Ben would still be alive.
She felt her chest tighten at the thought of Ben, how horrible had it been to die at the hands of Fisk himself. The papers of course barely mentioned his death, but she knew.
She had heard the word used towards her before, but now it was true.
She was a murderer.
Murderer.
Daniel's life was taken because of what she knew, Ben had died because of her and now Wesley, that one was totally her fault as she simply shot him until she was out of bullets.
It was self defense.
No. Fisk knew and had sent Wesley to kill her and she just happened to beat him to the punch.
It would be a matter of time before Fisk found out it was her and send more to finish her.
That thought caused a chill to run up her spine and her stomach to flop uneasily. Her mind wandered back to Wesley's body sitting there in a chair of some abandoned warehouse with bullets in his rotting body.
Her stomach lurched and she barely made it to the bathroom in time to throw up.
She fiddled around with the files, organizing and reorganizing them. They had gotten a few more clients since the Fisk case so both Foggy and Matt were busy in their respective offices. She had opened the bottom right drawer where the shoebox Ben had given her with all the notes on the Fisk case were and looked at it for a moment.
If it wasn't for her insistence..
Her chest clenched tightly and she shut the drawer with enough force to startle herself, turning her eyes away from her desk she looked up to see Matt standing there, she let out a gasp.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you. I thought you heard me coming. You seem preoccupied."
"I-I'm fine. You just startled me, that's all. Did you need me to get you some coffee?" she made a move to get up, but Matt made a motion with his hand for her to stay put.
"No, thank you. But you seem distant." he asked thoughtfully and then dropped into a near whisper," "Is it because Foggy is seeing Marci?"
She was barely able to stifle the sudden urge to laugh, if it was only that simple she wanted to tell him. Yes, she was a bit jealous that the two of them were back together. But Marci had helped them with the files needed to take down Fisk so it was only fair and besides at this point the last thing she needed was to try to start a relationship, she could barely take care of herself much less look out for someone else.
"No, just had a rough night last night." she lied easily giving him a weak smile but of course he couldn't see it so the smile died on her lips and she started to chew the bottom of her lip again turning her attention back to the files.
He frowned slightly and lingered for a moment longer than normal and gave her a nod, going back into his office.
She let out a breath she didn't know she was holding.
It was late, the 1135pm train had already went roaring across the tracks on the lower east side, the docks had stopped all activity and the soft nearly inaudible clicking of heels indicated that Karen was just now leaving the office of Nelson & Murdock.
Daredevil was perched perfectly on top of the roof 40 yards away, one leg on the brick edge turning his head to tune into the noise better. There were other things going on that evening, a small group of junkies getting high in the apartment below him on the first floor , a couple having sex on the sixth floor of the apartment 20 yards away, a father reading his daughter a bedtime story three buildings away, in an all it was a pretty average night in Hell's Kitchen. Average for the city now that Fisk had been put away, average for everyone but Karen Page.
He heard the keys clink as she turned the latch with the key for the building and walk briskly - her heart beat was faster than normal - towards her apartment. The keys were still in her left hand, gripped tightly forming a fist around them, her right hand rested on the small can of mace inside her purse.
He could sense her fear and as he followed quietly jumping, from roof top to roof top keeping her in his 'sight'.
It only took about twenty minutes for her to reach her apartment building and he had barely broken into a sweat, stopping at the rooftop of the building next to hers waiting for the sound of the elevator to open up on the ground floor and her to emerge four floors later.
She did, still walking at the same brisk pace as she did on the street, the key for the apartment was clenched tightly between her middle and ring finger and she eased the grip only when she was right on top of the door.
Unlocking it with a slight tremble and sliding inside quickly.
He tilted his head hearing the distinct click of a deadbolt, then a chain, a sliding lock and then two more deadbolts.
He frowned, it was one thing to have locks on a door, but this was taking it to a new level.
He needed to talk to someone about this, he needed reassurance that he was doing the right thing despite the odds stacking against him.
"Normally you call when you need a nurse, not someone to talk to."
He smiled slightly," If you want I can take off my shirt to make it easier."
"As much as I like seeing you without a shirt," he smiled hearing the grin in her voice," there's something bothering you."
He nodded," A friend of mine has been spending a lot of time behind locked doors, more so than before Fisk was captured and now it seems to have gotten worse. There's something in her voice that doesn't sound quite right, she smiles but it's not sincere, she laughs but there's no depth to it, she's physically there but mentally miles away and maybe I'm overacting.."
"No, you care and that's good. But she's probably scared like everyone else is. Scared that someone will take Fisk's place that the city will again be unsafe. He escaped custody and if it wasn't for Daredevil, who knows where he would be."
Matt nodded.
Claire sighed heavily," I guess what I'm trying to say is that it's normal to feel scared despite the good guys winning. You've saved so many lives already. Just remind her that you care."
He listened for a moment before noting," She knows, I just think she's being stubborn."
Claire snorted softly.
"I'm not involved with her, if that's what you think."
"Not my business." she said putting her hands up in the air," besides I'm only here to patch you up and it seems like you have it under control."
"Thanks Claire."
She nodded, closing the door as she left.
Karen hadn't slept in two days. She had barely made it in before 8 a.m. that morning, the bags under her eyes were just too dark and large to be concealed by makeup, her hair was pulled back in a feeble attempt to hide the fact that it has lost its luster and fullness.
She was almost unsteady in her heels, her shirt was slightly wrinkled but her skirt was thankfully fine as she smoothed it out while getting a pot of coffee started.
Foggy was of course the first one to come in, looking more chipper than usual probably due to him and Marci being back together.
"Good Morn-you look terrible."
"Well morning to you too Foggy." she said without looking at him, pouring herself a cup and taking a sip.
"I'm sorry that was totally uncalled for, can I start again?" he asked apologetically.
She shook her head taking another sip, "It's okay, I had a rough night."
"Another one?" Matt voice floated into the office.
"We should really put a bell around your neck or something." Foggy said after jumping slightly.
The blind man's lips quirked up into a slight smile, "Then I wouldn't have half as much fun sneaking up on you."
"Less chance of a heart attack that way and I for one would like to stay above ground."
"So says the lawyers who took on Fisk." Karen said, walking towards her desk with her half cup of coffee.
"Danger is my middle name." the long haired man commented with a shrug, " Franklin Foggy 'Danger' Nelson. Has a nice ring to it actually."
"It sounds ridiculous."
He shrugged," So says the blind man."
"Hey now."
Foggy was able to make a comment when a loud popping noise startled all three of them and they all ducked instinctively.
After a few moments of silence, he dared to look out the window and see kids playing.
"Just some kids using bang snaps." he breathed with a relieved sigh.
"Bang snaps?" Matt asked confused.
"Snappers, popits, poppers? They're little noisemakers that imitate the sound of a cap gun. Where's Karen?"
They heard a sob and both men looked towards the desk.
"Karen?"
Another sob.
Foggy around the desk to see her curled up underneath it, hands on her ears and her eyes closed tears running down her cheeks smearing what little makeup she had managed to put on.
He bent down near her, touching her lightly on the shoulder, she gasped and turned to move away, her sobbing turning into panicked breathing turning into short gasping breaths.
"Karen, it's okay.." Foggy said trying to calm their panicked receptionist to no avail.
Matt tilted his head and frowned slightly," It's a panic attack."
"How would you-?"
"I've experienced it before. May I?"
"Be my guest." Foggy moved out of the way so Matt could crawl into the tiny space near her.
"Karen." he said firmly but gently, "Just focus on my voice. You are safe. You're with me and Foggy at the office."
The gasps stopped and he could hear her heartbeat slowly dropping back to a normal range. It was working, but it didn't stop her shaking.
"That's it, just breathe. You are safe."
He hesitantly reached out and touched her wrist, the trembling slowed, repeating that she was okay until the trembling stopped altogether and her breathing returned to normal.
"I-I'm sorry for freaking out like that." she managed ten minutes later crawling out from under the desk and stands up and stumbles Foggy catching her,
He hands her a glass of water and she drinks it, wincing at the feeling of it hitting her empty stomach.
"You haven't been eating," Matt stated.
"And you don't pick up your phone anymore. What's going on?" Foggy added.
She sighed heavily putting the glass on her desk, looking at her shoes with sudden interest,"Have you ever had a secret that if told will change everything you know about a person?"
Foggy shot glance at Matt who was facing Karen with a stoic expression.