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Praying That You and Me Might End Up Together
I would never fall in love. That was what I promised myself when I saw my mother crying for the first because of my father. To this day, I still don't know what happened but for some reason I don't care anymore. All I care about it you.
You've changed me. You've made me worth something, worth people's time and worth paying attention to. I look at your sleeping face. Your eyes are shut tightly but you seem so comfortable. So...peaceful. Something I myself, have forgotten to be. Normally I'm angry and I'm rude but with you around I'm different, I'm happy and funny instead of cruel people see me and smiled instead of cowering away like I was going to hurt them. But only when I'm with you.
I remember the first time this happened, I remembered waking up and we were yelling at each other about how this was the other person's fault and how it was some stupid prank or something pathetic as that. But what I didn't tell you was I remembered it. I remember the taste of your skin, your lips. I remember how nerves we both were and how we didn't actually know what to do but I remember that I had never felt so much pleasure in my whole life. I remember how bad I felt when you had cried out in pain. I remember leaning down and kissing you softly, trying to make you feel better and I hoped that it worked.
I also remember the awkward moment when people at school saw the matching marks on our skin, how they were making accusations and how I said that it was a lie and that I hated you. I can see the tears filling up in your eyes as I continued to say hurtful things about you when you stood only a few feet away from me. Three weeks later, I walked into school and told Matt the truth, the next thing I knew everybody in the school was mocking you and were staying well away from me.
Someone had sent you death threats via text messages and email. I spent months trying to figure out who the hell it was; it became my own little obsession – other than you of course. I can still see the look of pain he had on his face as I continued to punch him. In the face, the stomach, the back, anywhere I could that would course him pain. It took four teachers to get me off of him but it only took one look at you to calm me down. He got suspended for a week, I almost got expelled.
I don't know how but you got Alaric to help, and I got to stay in school. After that, the trouble and bullying seemed to just vanish. We were happy from then on.
I'm praying that you won't turn your back on me one day, after everything we've been through together. I hope that if I ever do something that makes you change your mind and you don't love me, that you'll still pretend to care. No matter how much you think it's wrong. I hardly sleep without you in my arms, I hardly breathe or think or eat, and I can't imagine doing anything without you.
I know I sound pathetic or weak but I can't help but remember the one thought that ran through my mind after the first time, when you were lying in my arms. I was praying that you and I might end up together. That you would want me as much as I wanted you and that nothing would keep us apart. I love you and I need you more than you will ever know.
"I love you, Ty." I hear you mumble in your sleep making me smile as I kiss the top of your head.
"I love you too, baby." I whispered back as I drift off to sleep, knowing that you weren't going anywhere for a long time.
xoYouMakeMeCrazierxo