If Lu Xun Was GAY!!
BY: THE-BUNNY-OF-EVIL!!!!
(OK!! THIS IS BASED ON THE AVENUE Q SONG "IF YOU WERE GAY"!!!! ENJOY!!)
Lu Xun: Ahhh, an afternoon alone with my favorite book, 'How to Burn down Your Enemies Camps.' No roommate to bother me. How can it get any better than this?
Gan Ning: (walks in) Oh HI LU!!
Lu Xun: Hi Gan Ning...
Gan Ning: Guess what? You'll never guess what happened to me in battle with Wei this morning. This soldier was smiling at me and talking to me...
Lu: Oh, yeah, that's VERY interesting...
Gan: Uh huh. He was being real friendly. I think he was coming on to me. I think he might have thought I was GAY.
Lu: So.. so why are you telling me this? Why should I care? I don't care. What'd you have for lunch today?
Gan: Well, you don't have to get all defens--
Lu: I'M NOT GETTING DEFENSIVE!! sigh why would I care about some gay guy you met, okay? I am trying to read.
Gan: Well, I didn't MEAN anything about it. I just think it's something we should be able to talk about--
Lu: Look, I don't want to talk about it Gan. This conversation is over.
Gan: But Lu--
Lu: OVER!!
Gan: Well okay. But just so you know.
If you were gay,
That'd be okay.
I mean, cause hey. Ha!
I like you anyway!
Lu: Ugh.
Gan:
Because, you see.
If it were me.
I would feel free to say that I was gay-
BUT I'm not gay.
Lu: Gan, please. I am trying to read...
Gan: ...
Lu: WHAT?!?!?!
Gan:
If you were Queer.
Lu: grrr... Gan...
Gan:
I'd still be here.
Lu: Gan, I am trying to read this book!
Gan:
Year after Year.
Lu: Gan...
Gan:
Because your dear to me!
Lu: ARGH!
Gan:
And I know that you
Would accept me too
Lu: I would?
Gan:
If I told you today, 'Hey guess what? I'm GAY!"
BUT I'm not gay.
I'm happy just being with you...
Lu: I must choose, fire arrows or fire boulders?
Gan:
So what should it matter to me what you
DO IN BED WITH GUYS?
Lu: GAN NING! THAT IS WRONG!!!
Gan: NO IT'S NOT!!
If you were gay...
Lu: ARGH...
Gan:
I'd shout Hooray!!
Lu: I am not listening!
Gan:
And here I'd stay,
Lu: LALALALALA!!!
Gan:
But I wouldn't get in your way!
Lu: AHHH!!!
Gan:
You can count on me...
To always be...
Beside you everyday!
To Tell you It's Okay!
You were just born that way!
And as they say, it's in your DNA!
YOU'RE GAY!!!
LU XUN: I AM NOT GAY!!!!
Gan: If you WERE gay!
Lu: (smacks self with book)