Admitting to love someone is dangerous when so many responsibilities lie over your head. Nations have the world to consider. –somewhat mild England/China-
5071 MILES
Tradition riddles the streets of China. Isolation brought him to create the him he knows, to write in symbols unique to the rest of the world.
He became great. His heart welcomed pupils. His mind shouted against it.
His teachings were taken away with the independence they yearned for, and he fell.
Visions riddles the streets of England. Arrogance brought him to create the him he knows, rising as an empire and spreading his crafted culture throughout the world.
He became great. His heart welcomed the idea of family. His mind shouted against it.
His growing love was taken away with the independence they yearned for, and he fell.
There are some things only age can teach you. China has lived long enough- 4000, going on 5000 –and he still does not understand the art of understanding another person. It frustrates him.
When he was 2000, he used his age as a central source for his overwhelming pride. He was older, therefore he was entitled to everything good and better.
When he passed 3000, he learned that it was wise to keep pride in the background, even though he could never have been more proud. Always expect the unexpected, he said. Never hide in the shadows of your fantasies.
Love is controversial. He hates it, to his core, but he adores it, from the depths of his heart. He loved his brothers, but that love became a poison when they wanted to be their own.
He has plenty of scars to prove that.
He only wished he knew of it before it happened.
He only wished he understood them well enough to tell.
There are many things building an empire can teach you. England had rushed in, his pride willing him to overtake as much as he could carry. Building was figurative. It was like a wooden block per every area that surrendered to him. It collected, and collected, until a massive wooden castle was bound.
Diplomacy riddled every single word, power took to his mind. It made him weak. Everyone should listen, he said. He was the Empire on which the sun never set. He was grand. Everyone should listen. They won't leave. They can't leave. They wouldn't dare.
Love is controversial. He adores it, to the small of his heart, but he hates it, to the very pit of his stomach. He loved his brothers, his so called 'family'. But that love turned into a poison when they wanted to be their own.
He has plenty of scars to prove that.
He still wishes he knew of it before it happened.
He still wishes he understood them well enough to tell.
England and China are far apart. 5071 miles apart, to be exact. The nations are only tied close enough to get necessary work done. It is cold, strict, and there is no emotion involved. There shouldn't be- it is not allowed. They are there to speak for their country, not for themselves.
Once…every once in a while, a nation asks, does it have to be this way?
Every country wears a façade. They represent their people, yet they are their own beings. You can only keep a shell alive, for so long, until it will learn to think for itself.
Living involves the need to feel.
Insanity is a feeling.
Hatred is a feeling.
Greed is a feeling.
Love is a feeling. An absurdly powerful, ridiculous feeling.
The Opium Wars stands as a time when England felt a little too powerful and China seemed a little too detached. England won. Once, and again, and China lost Hong Kong to the nation he learned to despise.
Forgiveness exists when a person is willing to forget the past. Grudges exist in their people, but not inside them. Years of time to ponder these things has taught them to understand that much.
Opium bastard is hardly an insult anymore, and England knows that just as much as China. They don't know when things had begun to change, or when they had even begun to consider themselves friends to each other.
To China, maybe it was the unexplainable feeling of calmness he felt, despite telling himself over and over that he should always be on guard around England.
To England, perhaps it was how he could say anything, absolutely anything, and China would understand.
Their (thousand-year-old) knowledge told them it was something, something close to absurdly powerful, ridiculous love. That in itself was ridiculous, they thought.
.
There could be no possible way.
.
"…Hey, China?"
"…what is it?"
England sighed a little, clutching his empty teacup, eyes fixed on the peculiar window to his right. It was floor-to-ceiling, wide, and thrown open, allowing gentle light to flood the small space. They definitely don't have this in London.
"Do you ever feel…I don't know… frustrated…?" He stumbled with his words. What had he been trying to say, again? Out of the corner of his eye, he caught China giving him a questioning look.
"Everyone feels frustrated every once in a while, aru."
England couldn't help but groan. "No, as in…with…being a nation."
There was the sound of teacups being tapped together, and a small 'ahh, I see'.
"Opium-"
England felt compelled to throw China a half-hearted glare from across the table. China ignored it, as he always did.
"-we are here to represent our people, right?"
"Right…"
"We share the opinions of our people, right?"
"…right…"
"It was meant to be this simple. Just that, and only that. But," China gestured to the table as England perched his chin on his hand, "if it were, you and I and everyone else wouldn't be here. It is very difficult to give two groups of beings the same view on the same topic, when both groups have experienced different things. We are supposed to think like the majority of our population, but…some things happened, and sometimes we think for ourselves. Do you get it, aru?"
England took to rubbing his palms on his forehead. "I understand that. This world is full of mistakes, I…think I understand that as well. But..." eyebrows furrowed, he moved his hands away took look in front of him. "…all this bloody political…economical nonsense is just…ridiculous."
"Aah, Korea said the same thing once!"
"What?"
"South Korea, aru." China hummed. "He hated being under Japan's rule for so long, and he told me whenever he had the chance. He said…why couldn't we be people too, hyung? I love my people, but I wonder what it's like to be human."
"That's…that's it!" England abruptly sat up, gesturing wildly, "That's exactly it!"
China sighed heavily, waving his unusually long sleeve in the air, "I told him it was better if he doesn't think about these things."
"What? Why?" England retorted indignantly. He thought that, if anyone, China would understand whatever he was feeling. He had lived for a long time, and…England knew from his own experience that time, and time to yourself, brings you to think up ludicrous things. Perhaps wishing to be human was among them.
China's shoulders slumped tiredly. "There's no reason. It's not possible. Get over with it." His answer was clipped and forceful.
The desperation in his voice surprised England. It was a sliver of vulnerability, and though the part of England consumed by greed wanted to take advantage of that, he found he couldn't. There was the sudden notion that China had thought of the same thing once. That his opinion was immediately turned by some incident.
"Something happened, didn't it?" England suddenly blurted, voice so quiet he thought China hadn't heard him.
If his widened eyes were any indication, he had. And he didn't like it.
After a moment of trying to find words, China asked, "…why would you ask that?"
England knew he was trudging over dangerous ground. A nation's past should be kept in just that- the past. The inexplicable urge to figure out what was wrong…and the inexplicable urge to fix it was what pushed the words out of his mouth.
England felt he wanted the reason for such ideas to stay inexplicable. H-He couldn't care less about others problems…he doesn't need all that information. That was it. There was something else, but he doesn't want to know.
At the very least, 'confused' was what he had wanted to say, but alas, feelings were never merciful.
"…you sounded…pained," is what he said instead, equally pained, "…L-Listen, I know this is none of my business, but…you've thought of this before, haven't you?" His voice dropped to a pathetically low, almost guilty murmur.
China caught it. He caught it, and frustration stubbornly settled in because even though England was easy to read, China thought too much. He thought too much, and that made it hard to understand him.
Very hard.
"…yes." China replied reluctantly. "I did. But we can't wish to be human because it's never going to happen, aru." Bitterness wormed into his voice. He didn't really care why he felt so terribly open all of a sudden. "It's not going to happen, even though it would be easier. We were chosen to be countries, and the world works this way, aru. That's…it. That's it."
The lack of a response silenced England. The reason should stay 'inexplicable'.
"You've grown cynical." England suddenly, loudly remarked, surprising himself, a wry grin crawling over his face. The heavy atmosphere was too much to handle. He loved fantasies, he did, and he knew living in reality alone could drive a person insane, but he was not a person.
China was baffled, though England could see the relief in his expression. "Cynical, aru? Just now you noticed? You've been around me for centuries and you haven't pointed this out once?"
Instead of thinking up a retort, England took to slamming his forehead on the low, wooden table in a sign of somewhat-vague defeat.
"You're getting old." China continued haughtily. England's forehead found the air again.
"Excuse you, you twit! I'm doing very good for my age! You, on the other hand-"
"Aiyaa, don't start with this! I'm young, hip and cool, aru!"
"-are four-thousand years old-"
"That is something to be proud of-"
"-you complain about your back all the time-"
"And you don't, ahen-?!"
"I know how to take care of myself-!"
"Oi! Remember that time when you put on your old pirate clothes just to see if they fit-"
"Now that's off topic-"
"-trying to get back to the old days, aru-"
"-ARGH, stop it-!"
"Aiyaa, who does that-"
"Idiot! Idiot!"
"-and in one of the rooms of the conference building, too-"
"-are you trying to insinuate that I'm pathetic-"
"You don't imply when it is fact, Opium-"
"-when it's YOU who's always bringing up the old days-"
"We're not talking about me-"
"So it's true!"
"No it's not, aru!"
.
And the bickering that began when England first entered the room resumed. Something akin to carelessness laced their words, and the gravity from before was over and done.
.
They don't know when they had begun to consider themselves friends to each other. The knowledge they both carry (built from years upon years) can clash harshly in disagreement, and it tends to over the majority of the centuries. Rarely there's a mutual understanding, and when it occurs, the thick atmosphere is dropped and the matter is forgotten.
The reason why was kept as an inexplicable feeling, because only humans were allowed to delve. Humans have only a second to live. Nations have an eternity.
Maybe an eternity is enough to wish for the value of a second. Eternity has made them careful. In a second, you can do whatever you please and pass away. In an eternity, if you dare to do whatever you please, the consequences are long-term and painful. Admitting to love someone is impossible when so many responsibilities lie over your head. Nations have the world to consider.
.
And even they don't know that their façade hides more than just generic pain.
.
This was being very frustrating, especially when I was finishing it. I had wanted to upload an England/China for so long, buuuut...it's just HARD to write for these two, you know?!
As for the title...Google told me the distance between China and England was 5071 miles. I liked the sound of that- 5071 miles. Dramatic.
Wait...did I just create some paradox? This whole human-nation thing? Am I the only one being confused by this idea...?
On a slightly unrelated note, I had this wonderful (sarcasm) idea yesterday. I wanted to create a pairing name with England and China's human names, but, uh...YAO and ARTHUR don't really go all that well together, huh? So, I asked for Google's expertise (yes, once again).
Arthur in Chinese is Ā sè. So, if you take this name, England/China or China/England could be something like YĀsè or Āsao.
...I tried, okay.
Review?