Disclaimer: The Dragon Age universe belongs to Bioware, along with all recognizable characters.
Like many, I was disappointed in the lack of a true romantic ending for a female Hawke and Sebastian in Dragon Age II, so I decided to remedy that with a post game story. Future chapters will contain mature romantic content. Thank you for reading!
The atmosphere was silent and tense as Adrianna Hawke and her companions walked the main road leading away from Kirkwall. In the end, it hadn't really mattered that they had been fighting to save the Circle mages from a slaughter they had done nothing to deserve. It had still been a bloodbath. Mages and Templars alike lay dead in the Gallows and the politics of it all seemed insignificant when weighed against that much death.
Behind the group, the city was cast in a sickly orange glow due to the number of fires that still burned in the aftermath of the Chantry's destruction. Hawke didn't dare look back, fearing that the sight of the city would push her anger into a full blown rage that would not bode well for Anders' well being. As it was, she simply seethed silently as she walked, wondering, not for the first time, if sparing his life had been a mistake. Only yesterday he had been her lover, the man who had managed to crumble the walls around her fiercely guarded heart. His betrayal, however, had torn apart more than just the Chantry and when she looked at him now, all she felt was anger and disgust.
Giving up the main road in favor of a narrower forest path that provided more cover, the silent group traveled for several hours before Adrianna finally decided that it was safe enough to make camp. It didn't take long to find a suitable clearing and set up their tents, but even as the group gathered around a small fire, the air among them remained heavy with tense anticipation.
"I wish Isabella had been able to come with us." Merrill finally broke the silence, lamenting over the departure of their pirate friend, who had sailed away on her ship almost immediately after the battle. "If she were here, she would have some bawdy story or joke to tell that would make everyone laugh."
"A joke or story I would inevitably end up having to explain to you." Varric interjected with a good natured roll of his eyes. "Do you know how awkward that is, Daisy? It's like having to explain where babies come from to my little sister."
"But you don't have a sister, Varric." Merrill replied with a curious cock of her head, missing the point entirely.
"No, but if I did, I suspect she'd be just like you… only shorter and a dwarf."
Everyone laughed then, even Hawke, and the blanket of tension that had been hovering over them since leaving the city seemed to lift a little. Sitting next to Donnic, Aveline shook her head ruefully at Merrill and Varric before looking to Hawke expectantly.
"So where do we go from here?"
Adrianna was silent for a couple moments as she considered how to best answer that question. It was something she had considered at length while they had been traveling, but she knew her companions would not be entirely pleased with what she had planned. Finally, she just decided on simple honesty. Her friends deserved that much at least. She steadfastly ignored Anders, but she met the eyes of each of the others in turn, a sad smile touching her face as she spoke her next words.
"Where you go from here is your own decision to make, because I'm afraid this is where we part ways. Where I am going… I cannot allow any of you to follow."
"And where would that be, Hawke?" Varric asked, lifting a curious eyebrow after a moment of shocked silence had passed over the group.
"Starkhaven. I have to talk to Sebastian."
"Are you sure that's wise?" Aveline frowned. "He was not exactly in his right frame of mind when he left Kirkwall."
A purposely phrased understatement. Sebastian had been absolutely furious when Hawke had refused to kill Anders for what he had done and had vowed to bring the full force of Starkhaven's soldiers against Kirkwall in retribution for the destruction of the Chantry. The Grand Cleric Elthina had been like a mother to him and her death had driven the exiled prince nearly to the brink of madness.
"I'm quite certain it's not wise, but his state of mind is exactly why I need to talk to him." Adrianna sighed. "I have to try… before he does something I know he'll regret."
"And you are certain you wish to go alone?" Fenris asked, frowning. "You are a powerful mage, but even you can't stand against all of Starkhaven."
"I'm hoping it won't come to that. Sebastian and I were friends once and I helped him avenge the murder of his family. Hopefully he'll at least hear me out."
Not surprisingly, her friends continued to try and talk her into allowing one or more of them to travel with her, but Hawke was immovable. It wasn't a matter of trust. These people had followed her into the Deep Roads and all over the Free Marches, becoming her closest friends and allies along the way. She trusted them with her life and leaving them would break whatever was left of her heart, but she could not, in good conscience, ask them to join her in her next endeavor… not when she knew that going to Starkhaven might very well be a one way trip.
Only one person was silent during all of this. Anders. He had wisely kept his distance from Hawke since leaving Kirkwall, walking a few steps behind the group. The discussion about Starkhaven made him frown from where he sat apart from everyone else, but he continued to hold his tongue, which Adrianna was thankful for. She still didn't trust herself to control her temper when it came to him and the last thing she wanted to do was have a shouting match in front of the others.
"Get some rest." She finally told all of them, forestalling any further discussion about her trip to Starkhaven. "I know you all need it."
Hawke retired to her own tent, but she didn't sleep. Instead, she removed a quill, ink and parchment from her pack and began to write letters to each of her friends. Unable to put them or herself through the agonizing process of saying goodbye, she intended on slipping away while everyone slept, but she couldn't leave without leaving something behind to tell them how much they had each meant to her. It was a tearful process, but by the time she was finished writing, the camp was silent.
Careful not to wake anyone, Hawke quickly broke down her tent and gathered the few items she had taken with her from Kirkwall. Slinging the two packs over her shoulders, she tucked the letters into the pocket of Varric's jacket where it hung on a tree branch, knowing the dwarf would find them in the morning and be kind enough to distribute them.
"Goodbye."
Hawke whispered softly, her eyes burning with tears before she slipped into the trees and allowed the darkness to swallow her. When she made it back out to the main road, however, she found someone waiting for her. If it had been up to her, she would have just walked past Anders without a word of explanation, but the other mage put himself in her path and wouldn't budge.
"Going to Starkhaven is a mistake." He said with a frown, finally speaking his mind now that he had a moment alone with her. "Sebastian is as likely to kill you on the spot as he is to talk to you."
"Perhaps, but what choice do I have? Someone has to clean up the mess you created." Adrianna's voice was quiet, but as cold as ice as she looked at the man she used to love. "If Starkhaven soldiers march on Kirkwall, the death toll will be catastrophic. I cannot allow more innocent people to die."
"And what about me? I know you're angry about what happened at the Chantry, but does what we have mean so little to you that you would just walk away without a second glance?"
The almost petulant sound of his voice set her teeth on edge and it was all she could do to keep from slapping him. "How dare you! What we had meant everything to me! Clearly, however, it meant nothing to you. You lied to me and tricked me into helping you plant a bomb in the Chantry. Because of you, the blood of the innocent is on my hands and I have to live with that! Why in the name of all that's holy would I want to stay with you?"
"Don't do this." Anders ignored the question and reached out to grasp her shoulders, as if he could hold her in place and keep her from going. "Please, Adrianna, I'm begging you."
"Don't touch me!" Her voice a venomous hiss, Hawke pulled herself from his grasp and used a bit of force magic to send him stumbling back several steps. "Lay a hand on me ever again and Maker as my witness, I swear you won't get it back."
Anders had the audacity to look surprised for just a moment, but then understanding appeared to dawn on him. Hawke wasn't ever going to forgive him. Whatever affection she had once felt for him was gone, buried somewhere in the rubble of the Chantry. His shoulders slumped slightly in defeat and he shook his head slightly before speaking in an almost broken tone.
"Why did you bother sparing my life, if you despise me so much?"
"Trust me, I've lost count of the number of times I've asked myself that same question."
Hawke took no pleasure in the flinch of pain her statement caused him, but she didn't regret her words either. After losing Bethany, Carver and her mother, Anders' love had been what kept her sane, so to have him betray her was more than she could bear. Her heart, once so full of love and life, felt like a hollow shell now, kept from crumbling only by the sheer force of her will.
"Stay away from me, Anders. I never want to see you again."
This time, he didn't try to stop her from brushing past him and Adrianna never looked back as she began the long trek toward Starkhaven. She knew all too well that Anders might be right about Sebastian killing her, but if her death would satisfy the prince's need for revenge and spare the innocent people of Kirkwall more suffering, then it was a price Hawke would pay gladly.