Disclaimer: I don't own these characters. If I did, I would own Marvel. And if owned Marvel, I
would've made Joe Quesada Editor-in-Chief a long, long time ago.
Note: This is the final part to my Eye to Eye, Goodbye to Romance, Beautiful Day series. For those of
you just tuning in, Wolvie's quit the X-Men to live in Japan with Yukio and Amiko.
By the way, I've tried to keep this series fairly current with what's been going on in the comic books,
which means, as of the last issue I read, Jean Grey has no telekinetic powers, only telepathic, and
Psylocke has dumped Angel for Neal Shaara (God, I love that).
Perfect Strangers (Just Walk Away)
by
TheMack
"Can you remember, remember my name?
As I flow through your life
A thousand oceans I have flown
And cold spirits of ice
All my life
I am the echo of your past
I am returning the echo of a point in time
Distant faces shine
A thousand warriors I have known
And laughing as the spirits appear
All your life
Shadows of another day
And if you hear me talking on the wind
You've got to understand
We must remain
Perfect Strangers..." --Deep Purple
Logan finished his fourth beer. He sat at his usual table in his favorite bar in Tokyo. The "Irashai" was
a little run down bar near the docks. The name means "welcome" in Japanese and Logan frequently
took it up on its invitation. It was a bar where he could be alone with his thoughts. More importantly, it
was a bar that did not serve that god-awful Japanese beer Sapporo. Its proximity to the docks insured
that it had a good supply of imported beer, and Shinji, the owner, kept Logan supplied with his favorite
beers. He lit a cigar. He glanced over to Shinji, who promptly brought him another beer. Logan raised
the bottle in silent toast to friends long gone. Behind him, the door to the bar swung open. Moments
later a familiar scent found its way over to him. Jean Grey soon seated herself across from Logan.
They sat in silence for a few minutes. Neither knew quite what to say. Finally Jean leaned back in her
chair and shook her head in exasperation.
"Funny isn't it, Logan? Last time we saw each other it was in a bar. And now we meet again in
another bar, that's just as sleazy and run down as the other one. Last time you said 'good bye'. I
wonder what you'll say this time."
"Well Darlin', first thing that comes to mind is, of all the sleazy, run down bars in Tokyo, why'd ya have
to walk into this one?"
"Reference to "Casablanca". Very nice, and in a way very appropriate, I suppose. Does this mean that
I'm the Ingrid Bergman to your Humphrey Bogart?"
"Hardly, Darlin'. Ingrid was a blond. Though as I recall in the movie she did ditch ol' Bogey to go
back to her husband who she thought was dead."
"Never were one for subtlety were you, Logan?"
"Never saw the point. Darlin'. What brings ya to Japan?"
"The Professor wanted to touch bases with Sunfire with regards to a situation concerning Magneto. He
sent Storm to speak with him. I tagged along."
"Why?"
"To see you."
"Didn't ya just say somethin' about subtlety, Darlin'?"
Jean reached over and picked up Logan's beer and finished it for him. She placed the empty bottle in
front of Logan.
"I guess I picked up a number of bad habits from you."
Logan shook his head. He took a long drag from his cigar. He stared directly into Jean's eyes as he
exhaled. Jean stared back as the cigar smoke danced around her. Logan ground his cigar out against
the edge of the table.
"Yukio tell ya where ta find me?"
"Yes. Storm is over there with your family right now."
Jean fell silent for a second. She turned and studied her surroundings. It really was a ratty bar. As she
continued her examination of the bar, she prayed that Logan would not pick up on how difficult it had
been for her to say those words. Your family. They're just words. But they cut like a knife into Jean.
Once upon a time, Logan had been part of her family. Now he wasn't. He was no longer part of the
X-Men. He had his own family now. And he was no longer a part of Jean's life. Jean turned back to
Logan.
"You have a beautiful family, Logan."
"Yeah, I know."
Logan got up out of his chair.
"Well Red, I guess we oughta head back."
Jean nodded and got up. Logan paid his bill and headed towards the door. Jean followed him. As he
opened the door and started to head out, Jean grabbed his arm from behind.
"I missed you."
Logan didn't respond. He sort of nodded his head in acknowledgment and headed out. They walked
back to the Yashida Family compound in silence.
Storm, Yukio, and Amiko were seated in the living room having tea when they returned. When they
walked into the living room Yukio got up and kissed Logan.
"So I see that Jean found you at your usual haunt."
"Yeah, she did." Logan ran his hand through his hair.
"Rough day at work?"
"Yeah. I swear Canadian passports are too flamin' easy to forge."
Logan slumped in his recliner. He lit a cigar and inhaled deeply. It was a Cuban, and unlike in the
States, quite legal and easy to get in Japan. He looked at the others who sat patiently, waiting for him to
finish his story.
"Customs nabbed a couple o' Russians tryin' to smuggle in fifteen bricks o' heroin. They were carryin'
fake Canadian passports. Turns out they're Russian Mob from Moscow. Alexi Federov's boys.
They're part o' this racket smugglin' smack from the Mid East to some local Yakuza boys. We got
their number now. Japan's finest is goin' to close in and shut down the pipeline pretty soon. An' since
official Canadian documents have been forged, I'll be goin' in to "assess" the damage to, uh, the
Canadian bureaucracy. Once this all goes down, an' them boys get outta the hospital, Japan'll deport
'em back to Russia."
Storm raised an eyebrow.
"Get out of the hospital, Logan?"
"Yeah. Funny thing, 'Ro. These two fellas were tellin' me an' my Japanese counterpart Toshio Azami
everythin' they knew, an' the clumsy bastards kept fallin' down."
Amiko stifled a giggle. Storm shook her head. Logan was still Logan, after all. The rest of the evening
was spent catching Logan up on all that had happened with the X-Men since he had left. Logan
seemed to be particularly amused at the news that Psylocke and Angel had broken up and that
Psylocke was now going out with Neal Shaara. The brief reunion was interrupted by a phone call.
Following the phone call, Logan excused himself from the group. Duty called and he had to go back to
the Canadian Embassy to see to some affairs. He promised that he'd be back shortly. Shortly after he
left, Yukio turned to Amiko and asked her to show Storm the large garden in the west wing of the
Yashida Family compound. Storm glanced over to Jean before getting up. She knew what was
coming. Storm smiled sweetly as she took Amiko's hand and they left the room together. Jean and
Yukio sat for a few moments in uncomfortable silence. Finally, Yukio spoke.
"What are you doing here?"
"I'm visiting an old friend of mine. There's nothing wrong with that."
Yukio laughed. She got up and walked over to Jean, leaned over and hissed in her ear.
"Logan is more than an 'old friend' to you. Don't insult my intelligence." Yukio walked back to the
center of the room. She was visibly angry.
"Where's your husband, Jean? Why didn't he come to visit too?"
"Scott had pressing matters to attend to, and couldn't make it."
"Really?"
"Really."
"I wonder if he even knows that you're here."
Jean was taken aback. She looked away angrily. It was true, though. Scott did not know that she was
here. She hadn't told him, it would've been too difficult to explain. Yukio smiled wickedly. She knew
by Jean's reaction that she was right. She had the advantage and decided to press it.
"You're not being fair to him, you know? And you're not being fair to Logan, either. You made your
choice. You married Scott. And yet you can't let go of Logan. I wonder how Scott feels about that?
It must be hard for him, knowing that his wife has feelings for another man."
Jean got up and stood angrily in front of Yukio.
"You know nothing about me or my husband. So why don't you just shut up about things you know
nothing about!"
Without warning and with blinding speed, Yukio slapped Jean. The blow knocked Jean to the floor.
Yukio put her foot on the side of Jean's head and pressed it to the floor.
"I may not know much, but I do know that you no longer have your telekinesis to defend yourself. And
your telepathy is not much good against someone who, through years of martial arts training, knows
how to focus her mind in such way as to defend against mental attacks. If you don't believe me, how
come you didn't anticipate my attack? You were standing in front of me, and yet you didn't sense my
intentions."
Yukio released her hold on Jean. Jean slowly sat up and rubbed her cheek, which was still smarting
from Yukio's blow. She looked up at Yukio who stood looking down on her.
"I know more than you think, Jean. All the years I've known Logan, and now that we live together, do
you really think he hasn't told me about you? I know how he felt about you. And I know that you
were -and obviously still are- attracted to him quite strongly. But you made your choice. You married
Scott. And yet you persisted in leading on Logan. For a while, he thought he still had a chance with
you. But eventually, Logan realized what your true feelings were, and that they were clear to everyone
but yourself. He accepted it, and moved on. I wonder if you ever knew the anguish you caused? Not
just for Logan, but for your husband as well. He must feel terribly inadequate as a husband and a man.
How else would he feel? His wife is in Japan chasing after another man, a man that you do not love. If
you did love Logan, you would be with him and not Scott. And yet, here you are."
Yukio knelt in front of Jean and looked her straight in the eyes.
"You know, it would save everyone a lot of pain and trouble if you would just be honest with yourself
for once in your life. Why don't you finally figure out exactly how you feel?"
Yukio got up and started to walk out of the room. She stopped at the entrance to the hallway and
looked back at Jean.
"You should have figured things out for yourself a long time ago, Jean. Now, there are other issues to
consider. You're married and Logan has a family. And like it or not, Logan will never leave us."
Yukio left. Jean slowly picked herself up off of the floor. Her cheek was still sore and her ears were
ringing with Yukio's words. Why was she here? She headed outside. The cool Japanese air felt
soothing to her skin. She glanced at the full moon that illuminated the grounds within the walls of the
Yashida Family compound. It stared back at her accusatorily. Jean shook her head. She knew exactly
how she felt. Logan was a dear friend to her, and Scott was her husband. There was nothing more to it
than that. But if that was true, then what the hell was she doing here? Why couldn't she let Logan go
and live his own life? Why had she grabbed his arm at the bar earlier and whispered those words? A
gentle wind began to blow. Out of the corner of her eye she saw the branches of a nearby tree begin to
sway and dance rhythmically to the song of the wind. From the back of her mind she felt the tug of an
old memory straining to be free. There was something about the way those tree branches were
moving... and then suddenly the memory was free and Jean Grey Summers remembered.
********************************************************************************************************
It was a Friday night at the X-Mansion. It was deserted save for Jean, Storm and Dazzler. Professor
Xavier was at some science conference and the others were at some pool tournament at Harry's
Hideaway. In the other words, it was a perfect night for Girl's Night at the mansion. The three ladies
had seated themselves in the kitchen and were engaged in a lively discussion when an interloper of the
male persuasion interrupted them. Logan walked into the kitchen and headed for the refrigerator.
"Evenin' ladies."
The three women eyed the intruder with mischievous grins on their faces. Storm spoke first.
"Why are you not playing pool with the others, Logan?"
"'Cause they're at that Harry's joint. An' you know I hate that place, 'Ro."
It was Dazzler's turn next.
"So what have you been doing all night, Logan?"
"That ain't your business, now is it, Alison?"
The women watched as Logan fetched a cold six-pack of beer out of the refrigerator. Jean shook her
head.
"Now Logan, surely you can find some more useful way to spend the evening other than drinking beer."
"There ain't no better way to spend an evenin', Darlin'. 'Sides it don't look like ya'll are doin' much
o'anythin' useful anyways."
Dazzler crossed her arms and glared at Logan with feigned annoyance.
"Well Mr. Logan, I'll have you know that we have been busy discussing pressing matters of extreme
importance to the immediate future."
"Boys?"
"You betcha." Alison laughed out loud, Ororo giggled, and Jean grinned. Logan just shook his head
and muttered something about kids. He started to head out when Jean stopped him.
"Oh, come on Logan, you mean to tell me you've never spent a night out with your friends talking about
girls?"
"Nope."
"And now I suppose you are going to tell us that you've never been in love. No, not Logan, he's too
tough for silly things like that."
Logan looked back at the three women. He knew that if he didn't respond they would be more than
happy to spend the rest of the evening hounding him.
"I was once. Long time ago."
Alison leaned forward in interest.
"Really? What was she like?"
Logan stood in silence for a few moments. He reached into his shirt pocket and pulled out a cigar and
lit it. He took a long drag and exhaled slowly as he stared into empty space.
"She had a temper, was jealous, an' she'd turn to ice. But when she laughed, the world was mine. We
used to walk hand in hand just before sunset, an' the sunlight would turn her skin to a shade o' gold I
ain't ever seen before or since. An' she had long black hair that'd just dance to a song that was
whispered by the wind. Then she'd smile an' there'd be rainbows in her eyes."
He turned to leave when Storm stopped him.
"What happened?"
Logan didn't bother to turn around to reply.
"She died."
Logan walked out of the kitchen, leaving three very flushed women behind him.
Later as the other residents of the mansion found their way home to retire for the night, Jean found
herself restless. Scott had went straight to bed upon returning, muttering something about never playing
pool again with 'that lucky bastard'. Longshot had won the tournament, of course, and was celebrating
his victory with Alison. Storm had gone off to bed, leaving Jean all by herself. She went outside and
leaned against the railing of the porch. It was a cool Indian summer night. The leaves had just started to
change color and were glistening in the moonlight. She breathed deeply, tasting the crisp air.
"Shouldn't ya be getting' yer beauty rest there, Red?"
Jean spun around. Logan was seated on the rail in the far corner of the porch. He leaned against the
wall of the mansion. There were five empty bottles of beer lying on the porch next to him and another
half empty bottle in his hand.
"You have a bad habit of sneaking up on me, Wolverine."
"I've been sittin' here all night, Darlin'. Yer the one who came out here and didn't see me."
Jean walked over to him and sat in the nearby lawn chair. She studied his face. It was weather beaten,
rugged, and leathery. But it was also honest. And he had those eyes. They seemed to have the ability
to look directly into a person's soul. She remembered the night's earlier exchange.
"Was what you said earlier true?"
"Yeah. Every word."
"I'm sorry."
"What for?"
"That she died."
"Not as sorry as I am, Darlin'."
"What was her name?"
"Does it matter, Red? Her name would mean nothin' to ya. Ya didn't know her. It'd be just a name.
But fer me, she'll always be more than a name, an' I just can't bring myself to reducin' her to just bein'
a name."
"You must have really loved her."
"Yeah, I did."
Logan finished his beer. He placed the empty bottle in front of him on the rail. He turned and looked at
the moon.
"Ya know sometimes when I think about her, the ache inside hurts so bad I think I'm bein' eaten alive
from the inside out. But then there other times when I think about her an' I remember all the good times
we had an' I can face another day. 'Cause I know that she's still alive in me. I can feel her sometimes
an' it gives me peace. An' I know she's waitin' fer me on the other side. An' when it's my time to go
an' I cross on over, she'll be there. An' then we'll be together an' we'll burn the sky."
Logan jumped off the rail and onto the porch. He turned back towards the moon.
"Ya hear me, Fox Darlin'? We'll burn the sky... when it's time fer me to die."
He turned and faced Jean.
"Well, I'm gonna head on in, Red. Be seein' ya."
"Logan?"
"Yeah?"
"Thanks."
"Fer what?"
"For talking to me. I know you are a very private individual. I'm just grateful that you feel comfortable
enough to be open with me."
Logan studied her face for a moment. He then turned and headed back into the mansion. Jean
remained in her seat. She gazed at the night sky. She felt different somehow. It was a new feeling, one
she had never felt before. It was nice. A gentle breeze began to blow. Out of the corner of her eye
she saw the branches of a nearby tree begin to sway and dance rhythmically to the song of the wind.
Funny how the moment she had felt different the wind had begun to blow. Maybe it was a wind of
change. Something had changed. She couldn't quite put her finger on what. Jean got up and headed
back into the mansion. She'd figure it out in the morning.
***********************************************************************************************************
But you didn't figure it out did you? Jean shook her head. Why hadn't she seen the truth before? Why
did it take so long for her to figure it all out? And then suddenly, Jean had an epiphany. She knew why.
She had been afraid. All those years, she had been afraid of what she felt that night so long ago. She
wasn't afraid of the emotion, but of the changes it would have brought in her life and the lives of all her
loved ones. Truth be told, she was still afraid. But at least now she accepted the truth that she had
denied for years. It's just that now it was too late.
"Ya okay, Red?"
Jean looked up to see Logan standing before her. He placed his hand on her cheek.
"I see Yukio had some words with ya. Can't say I didn't expect it. A pistol an' a firecracker, that one.
Just like you."
Jean started to cry.
"Logan, I really screwed up..."
Logan gently wiped away Jean's tears.
"Don't think that, Darlin'. Maybe it just wasn't meant to be."
"What do we do now?"
"Nothin'. Go home to yer husband, yer family, an' the X-Men. Japan's my home now."
"What about us?"
"There is no 'us'. Never was, never will be."
Jean looked back at the Yashida Family compound and then returned her gaze to Logan.
"You really love them, don't you?"
"Yeah, I do. They're my family. Even that jackass, the Silver Samurai. He's like the kid brother I
never got to beat up on."
Jean laughed. Somehow, even when she was feeling her worst, Logan found some way to make her
smile.
"I don't know if I can do this, Logan. I don't know if I can accept never seeing you again. We've
been through so much together."
"That was the past, Darlin'. The lives we lived back then are dead an' gone. Now we got new lives to
live, an' new futures to build. Now, we're just perfect strangers."
"So what do I do now, Logan?"
"Just walk away, Darlin'. Just walk away."
*********************************************************************************************************
"A faded picture from your heart
Was all you left for me
I'm still waiting, standing here
To see what I could see
Your love I borrowed just like time
It wasn't mine to keep
But the love we shared
I thought was there
And now you have to leave
Just walk away
There'll be no more tomorrows
Just walk away
You won't be there for me
From far away
I tried to say I'm sorry
But I can't find a way
(To) just walk away
Couldn't see for I was blind
The hurt you hide inside
I didn't mean to break your heart
I wish it had been mine
And as another day unfolds
Don't know what it means
Was it love we had?
Or love gone bad
Still the love we need
Just walk away
There'll be no more tomorrows
Just walk away
You won't be there for me
From far away
I tried to say I'm sorry
But I can't find a way
(To) just walk away..." --Dokken.
*********************************************************************************************************
Yeah, so it sucked. They can't all be home runs, now can they?
Was I a little mean to Jean? Yes, I was. Sorry, it just fit the story.
By the way this probably going to be the last story I write for a while; graduate school is getting set to
kick my ass for a little while. When I do return (and I shall) the stories are going to be more in the vein
of "Renegade" rather than what you just read (i.e. cynical and full of political rhetoric). And unless I'm
flooded with requests to the contrary, I probably won't be writing anymore Jean/Logan stories. But I
will leave you with a little taste of what's to come: "Gambit, meet John Constantine." And if you don't
know who John Constantine is, well, you just ain't cool. Peace - TheMack
And finally, just to piss some of you off even more, here's my review of comics for the year 2000.
Best Comics: Best Writer:
1. Top 10 1. Alan Moore
2. Extraordinary League of Gentlemen 2. Brian Azzarello
3. Promethea 3. Garth Ennis
4. Hellblazer 4. Mike Carry
5. Tom Strong 5. Warren Ellis
6. Planetary 6. Jamie Delano
7. Lucifer 7. Frank Cho
8. Punisher/Preacher (tie). 8. Matt Wagner
9. Liberty Meadows 9. Grant Morrison
10. Outlaw Nation 10. Christopher Priest
Reasons not to give up on Marvel, because they seem to actually want to put out good books now:
1. Punisher (Yeah, Garth!!)
2. Deadpool
3. Ultimate Spider-Man
4. Grant Morrison is going to be taking over the X-Men in 2001 (fuck yeah!)
5. Erik Larsen and Rob Liefeld no longer have anything to do with Wolverine (oh, the agony…)
6. Ultimate X-Men (hey, the first two issues smoked)
7. Marvel Knights
would've made Joe Quesada Editor-in-Chief a long, long time ago.
Note: This is the final part to my Eye to Eye, Goodbye to Romance, Beautiful Day series. For those of
you just tuning in, Wolvie's quit the X-Men to live in Japan with Yukio and Amiko.
By the way, I've tried to keep this series fairly current with what's been going on in the comic books,
which means, as of the last issue I read, Jean Grey has no telekinetic powers, only telepathic, and
Psylocke has dumped Angel for Neal Shaara (God, I love that).
Perfect Strangers (Just Walk Away)
by
TheMack
"Can you remember, remember my name?
As I flow through your life
A thousand oceans I have flown
And cold spirits of ice
All my life
I am the echo of your past
I am returning the echo of a point in time
Distant faces shine
A thousand warriors I have known
And laughing as the spirits appear
All your life
Shadows of another day
And if you hear me talking on the wind
You've got to understand
We must remain
Perfect Strangers..." --Deep Purple
Logan finished his fourth beer. He sat at his usual table in his favorite bar in Tokyo. The "Irashai" was
a little run down bar near the docks. The name means "welcome" in Japanese and Logan frequently
took it up on its invitation. It was a bar where he could be alone with his thoughts. More importantly, it
was a bar that did not serve that god-awful Japanese beer Sapporo. Its proximity to the docks insured
that it had a good supply of imported beer, and Shinji, the owner, kept Logan supplied with his favorite
beers. He lit a cigar. He glanced over to Shinji, who promptly brought him another beer. Logan raised
the bottle in silent toast to friends long gone. Behind him, the door to the bar swung open. Moments
later a familiar scent found its way over to him. Jean Grey soon seated herself across from Logan.
They sat in silence for a few minutes. Neither knew quite what to say. Finally Jean leaned back in her
chair and shook her head in exasperation.
"Funny isn't it, Logan? Last time we saw each other it was in a bar. And now we meet again in
another bar, that's just as sleazy and run down as the other one. Last time you said 'good bye'. I
wonder what you'll say this time."
"Well Darlin', first thing that comes to mind is, of all the sleazy, run down bars in Tokyo, why'd ya have
to walk into this one?"
"Reference to "Casablanca". Very nice, and in a way very appropriate, I suppose. Does this mean that
I'm the Ingrid Bergman to your Humphrey Bogart?"
"Hardly, Darlin'. Ingrid was a blond. Though as I recall in the movie she did ditch ol' Bogey to go
back to her husband who she thought was dead."
"Never were one for subtlety were you, Logan?"
"Never saw the point. Darlin'. What brings ya to Japan?"
"The Professor wanted to touch bases with Sunfire with regards to a situation concerning Magneto. He
sent Storm to speak with him. I tagged along."
"Why?"
"To see you."
"Didn't ya just say somethin' about subtlety, Darlin'?"
Jean reached over and picked up Logan's beer and finished it for him. She placed the empty bottle in
front of Logan.
"I guess I picked up a number of bad habits from you."
Logan shook his head. He took a long drag from his cigar. He stared directly into Jean's eyes as he
exhaled. Jean stared back as the cigar smoke danced around her. Logan ground his cigar out against
the edge of the table.
"Yukio tell ya where ta find me?"
"Yes. Storm is over there with your family right now."
Jean fell silent for a second. She turned and studied her surroundings. It really was a ratty bar. As she
continued her examination of the bar, she prayed that Logan would not pick up on how difficult it had
been for her to say those words. Your family. They're just words. But they cut like a knife into Jean.
Once upon a time, Logan had been part of her family. Now he wasn't. He was no longer part of the
X-Men. He had his own family now. And he was no longer a part of Jean's life. Jean turned back to
Logan.
"You have a beautiful family, Logan."
"Yeah, I know."
Logan got up out of his chair.
"Well Red, I guess we oughta head back."
Jean nodded and got up. Logan paid his bill and headed towards the door. Jean followed him. As he
opened the door and started to head out, Jean grabbed his arm from behind.
"I missed you."
Logan didn't respond. He sort of nodded his head in acknowledgment and headed out. They walked
back to the Yashida Family compound in silence.
Storm, Yukio, and Amiko were seated in the living room having tea when they returned. When they
walked into the living room Yukio got up and kissed Logan.
"So I see that Jean found you at your usual haunt."
"Yeah, she did." Logan ran his hand through his hair.
"Rough day at work?"
"Yeah. I swear Canadian passports are too flamin' easy to forge."
Logan slumped in his recliner. He lit a cigar and inhaled deeply. It was a Cuban, and unlike in the
States, quite legal and easy to get in Japan. He looked at the others who sat patiently, waiting for him to
finish his story.
"Customs nabbed a couple o' Russians tryin' to smuggle in fifteen bricks o' heroin. They were carryin'
fake Canadian passports. Turns out they're Russian Mob from Moscow. Alexi Federov's boys.
They're part o' this racket smugglin' smack from the Mid East to some local Yakuza boys. We got
their number now. Japan's finest is goin' to close in and shut down the pipeline pretty soon. An' since
official Canadian documents have been forged, I'll be goin' in to "assess" the damage to, uh, the
Canadian bureaucracy. Once this all goes down, an' them boys get outta the hospital, Japan'll deport
'em back to Russia."
Storm raised an eyebrow.
"Get out of the hospital, Logan?"
"Yeah. Funny thing, 'Ro. These two fellas were tellin' me an' my Japanese counterpart Toshio Azami
everythin' they knew, an' the clumsy bastards kept fallin' down."
Amiko stifled a giggle. Storm shook her head. Logan was still Logan, after all. The rest of the evening
was spent catching Logan up on all that had happened with the X-Men since he had left. Logan
seemed to be particularly amused at the news that Psylocke and Angel had broken up and that
Psylocke was now going out with Neal Shaara. The brief reunion was interrupted by a phone call.
Following the phone call, Logan excused himself from the group. Duty called and he had to go back to
the Canadian Embassy to see to some affairs. He promised that he'd be back shortly. Shortly after he
left, Yukio turned to Amiko and asked her to show Storm the large garden in the west wing of the
Yashida Family compound. Storm glanced over to Jean before getting up. She knew what was
coming. Storm smiled sweetly as she took Amiko's hand and they left the room together. Jean and
Yukio sat for a few moments in uncomfortable silence. Finally, Yukio spoke.
"What are you doing here?"
"I'm visiting an old friend of mine. There's nothing wrong with that."
Yukio laughed. She got up and walked over to Jean, leaned over and hissed in her ear.
"Logan is more than an 'old friend' to you. Don't insult my intelligence." Yukio walked back to the
center of the room. She was visibly angry.
"Where's your husband, Jean? Why didn't he come to visit too?"
"Scott had pressing matters to attend to, and couldn't make it."
"Really?"
"Really."
"I wonder if he even knows that you're here."
Jean was taken aback. She looked away angrily. It was true, though. Scott did not know that she was
here. She hadn't told him, it would've been too difficult to explain. Yukio smiled wickedly. She knew
by Jean's reaction that she was right. She had the advantage and decided to press it.
"You're not being fair to him, you know? And you're not being fair to Logan, either. You made your
choice. You married Scott. And yet you can't let go of Logan. I wonder how Scott feels about that?
It must be hard for him, knowing that his wife has feelings for another man."
Jean got up and stood angrily in front of Yukio.
"You know nothing about me or my husband. So why don't you just shut up about things you know
nothing about!"
Without warning and with blinding speed, Yukio slapped Jean. The blow knocked Jean to the floor.
Yukio put her foot on the side of Jean's head and pressed it to the floor.
"I may not know much, but I do know that you no longer have your telekinesis to defend yourself. And
your telepathy is not much good against someone who, through years of martial arts training, knows
how to focus her mind in such way as to defend against mental attacks. If you don't believe me, how
come you didn't anticipate my attack? You were standing in front of me, and yet you didn't sense my
intentions."
Yukio released her hold on Jean. Jean slowly sat up and rubbed her cheek, which was still smarting
from Yukio's blow. She looked up at Yukio who stood looking down on her.
"I know more than you think, Jean. All the years I've known Logan, and now that we live together, do
you really think he hasn't told me about you? I know how he felt about you. And I know that you
were -and obviously still are- attracted to him quite strongly. But you made your choice. You married
Scott. And yet you persisted in leading on Logan. For a while, he thought he still had a chance with
you. But eventually, Logan realized what your true feelings were, and that they were clear to everyone
but yourself. He accepted it, and moved on. I wonder if you ever knew the anguish you caused? Not
just for Logan, but for your husband as well. He must feel terribly inadequate as a husband and a man.
How else would he feel? His wife is in Japan chasing after another man, a man that you do not love. If
you did love Logan, you would be with him and not Scott. And yet, here you are."
Yukio knelt in front of Jean and looked her straight in the eyes.
"You know, it would save everyone a lot of pain and trouble if you would just be honest with yourself
for once in your life. Why don't you finally figure out exactly how you feel?"
Yukio got up and started to walk out of the room. She stopped at the entrance to the hallway and
looked back at Jean.
"You should have figured things out for yourself a long time ago, Jean. Now, there are other issues to
consider. You're married and Logan has a family. And like it or not, Logan will never leave us."
Yukio left. Jean slowly picked herself up off of the floor. Her cheek was still sore and her ears were
ringing with Yukio's words. Why was she here? She headed outside. The cool Japanese air felt
soothing to her skin. She glanced at the full moon that illuminated the grounds within the walls of the
Yashida Family compound. It stared back at her accusatorily. Jean shook her head. She knew exactly
how she felt. Logan was a dear friend to her, and Scott was her husband. There was nothing more to it
than that. But if that was true, then what the hell was she doing here? Why couldn't she let Logan go
and live his own life? Why had she grabbed his arm at the bar earlier and whispered those words? A
gentle wind began to blow. Out of the corner of her eye she saw the branches of a nearby tree begin to
sway and dance rhythmically to the song of the wind. From the back of her mind she felt the tug of an
old memory straining to be free. There was something about the way those tree branches were
moving... and then suddenly the memory was free and Jean Grey Summers remembered.
********************************************************************************************************
It was a Friday night at the X-Mansion. It was deserted save for Jean, Storm and Dazzler. Professor
Xavier was at some science conference and the others were at some pool tournament at Harry's
Hideaway. In the other words, it was a perfect night for Girl's Night at the mansion. The three ladies
had seated themselves in the kitchen and were engaged in a lively discussion when an interloper of the
male persuasion interrupted them. Logan walked into the kitchen and headed for the refrigerator.
"Evenin' ladies."
The three women eyed the intruder with mischievous grins on their faces. Storm spoke first.
"Why are you not playing pool with the others, Logan?"
"'Cause they're at that Harry's joint. An' you know I hate that place, 'Ro."
It was Dazzler's turn next.
"So what have you been doing all night, Logan?"
"That ain't your business, now is it, Alison?"
The women watched as Logan fetched a cold six-pack of beer out of the refrigerator. Jean shook her
head.
"Now Logan, surely you can find some more useful way to spend the evening other than drinking beer."
"There ain't no better way to spend an evenin', Darlin'. 'Sides it don't look like ya'll are doin' much
o'anythin' useful anyways."
Dazzler crossed her arms and glared at Logan with feigned annoyance.
"Well Mr. Logan, I'll have you know that we have been busy discussing pressing matters of extreme
importance to the immediate future."
"Boys?"
"You betcha." Alison laughed out loud, Ororo giggled, and Jean grinned. Logan just shook his head
and muttered something about kids. He started to head out when Jean stopped him.
"Oh, come on Logan, you mean to tell me you've never spent a night out with your friends talking about
girls?"
"Nope."
"And now I suppose you are going to tell us that you've never been in love. No, not Logan, he's too
tough for silly things like that."
Logan looked back at the three women. He knew that if he didn't respond they would be more than
happy to spend the rest of the evening hounding him.
"I was once. Long time ago."
Alison leaned forward in interest.
"Really? What was she like?"
Logan stood in silence for a few moments. He reached into his shirt pocket and pulled out a cigar and
lit it. He took a long drag and exhaled slowly as he stared into empty space.
"She had a temper, was jealous, an' she'd turn to ice. But when she laughed, the world was mine. We
used to walk hand in hand just before sunset, an' the sunlight would turn her skin to a shade o' gold I
ain't ever seen before or since. An' she had long black hair that'd just dance to a song that was
whispered by the wind. Then she'd smile an' there'd be rainbows in her eyes."
He turned to leave when Storm stopped him.
"What happened?"
Logan didn't bother to turn around to reply.
"She died."
Logan walked out of the kitchen, leaving three very flushed women behind him.
Later as the other residents of the mansion found their way home to retire for the night, Jean found
herself restless. Scott had went straight to bed upon returning, muttering something about never playing
pool again with 'that lucky bastard'. Longshot had won the tournament, of course, and was celebrating
his victory with Alison. Storm had gone off to bed, leaving Jean all by herself. She went outside and
leaned against the railing of the porch. It was a cool Indian summer night. The leaves had just started to
change color and were glistening in the moonlight. She breathed deeply, tasting the crisp air.
"Shouldn't ya be getting' yer beauty rest there, Red?"
Jean spun around. Logan was seated on the rail in the far corner of the porch. He leaned against the
wall of the mansion. There were five empty bottles of beer lying on the porch next to him and another
half empty bottle in his hand.
"You have a bad habit of sneaking up on me, Wolverine."
"I've been sittin' here all night, Darlin'. Yer the one who came out here and didn't see me."
Jean walked over to him and sat in the nearby lawn chair. She studied his face. It was weather beaten,
rugged, and leathery. But it was also honest. And he had those eyes. They seemed to have the ability
to look directly into a person's soul. She remembered the night's earlier exchange.
"Was what you said earlier true?"
"Yeah. Every word."
"I'm sorry."
"What for?"
"That she died."
"Not as sorry as I am, Darlin'."
"What was her name?"
"Does it matter, Red? Her name would mean nothin' to ya. Ya didn't know her. It'd be just a name.
But fer me, she'll always be more than a name, an' I just can't bring myself to reducin' her to just bein'
a name."
"You must have really loved her."
"Yeah, I did."
Logan finished his beer. He placed the empty bottle in front of him on the rail. He turned and looked at
the moon.
"Ya know sometimes when I think about her, the ache inside hurts so bad I think I'm bein' eaten alive
from the inside out. But then there other times when I think about her an' I remember all the good times
we had an' I can face another day. 'Cause I know that she's still alive in me. I can feel her sometimes
an' it gives me peace. An' I know she's waitin' fer me on the other side. An' when it's my time to go
an' I cross on over, she'll be there. An' then we'll be together an' we'll burn the sky."
Logan jumped off the rail and onto the porch. He turned back towards the moon.
"Ya hear me, Fox Darlin'? We'll burn the sky... when it's time fer me to die."
He turned and faced Jean.
"Well, I'm gonna head on in, Red. Be seein' ya."
"Logan?"
"Yeah?"
"Thanks."
"Fer what?"
"For talking to me. I know you are a very private individual. I'm just grateful that you feel comfortable
enough to be open with me."
Logan studied her face for a moment. He then turned and headed back into the mansion. Jean
remained in her seat. She gazed at the night sky. She felt different somehow. It was a new feeling, one
she had never felt before. It was nice. A gentle breeze began to blow. Out of the corner of her eye
she saw the branches of a nearby tree begin to sway and dance rhythmically to the song of the wind.
Funny how the moment she had felt different the wind had begun to blow. Maybe it was a wind of
change. Something had changed. She couldn't quite put her finger on what. Jean got up and headed
back into the mansion. She'd figure it out in the morning.
***********************************************************************************************************
But you didn't figure it out did you? Jean shook her head. Why hadn't she seen the truth before? Why
did it take so long for her to figure it all out? And then suddenly, Jean had an epiphany. She knew why.
She had been afraid. All those years, she had been afraid of what she felt that night so long ago. She
wasn't afraid of the emotion, but of the changes it would have brought in her life and the lives of all her
loved ones. Truth be told, she was still afraid. But at least now she accepted the truth that she had
denied for years. It's just that now it was too late.
"Ya okay, Red?"
Jean looked up to see Logan standing before her. He placed his hand on her cheek.
"I see Yukio had some words with ya. Can't say I didn't expect it. A pistol an' a firecracker, that one.
Just like you."
Jean started to cry.
"Logan, I really screwed up..."
Logan gently wiped away Jean's tears.
"Don't think that, Darlin'. Maybe it just wasn't meant to be."
"What do we do now?"
"Nothin'. Go home to yer husband, yer family, an' the X-Men. Japan's my home now."
"What about us?"
"There is no 'us'. Never was, never will be."
Jean looked back at the Yashida Family compound and then returned her gaze to Logan.
"You really love them, don't you?"
"Yeah, I do. They're my family. Even that jackass, the Silver Samurai. He's like the kid brother I
never got to beat up on."
Jean laughed. Somehow, even when she was feeling her worst, Logan found some way to make her
smile.
"I don't know if I can do this, Logan. I don't know if I can accept never seeing you again. We've
been through so much together."
"That was the past, Darlin'. The lives we lived back then are dead an' gone. Now we got new lives to
live, an' new futures to build. Now, we're just perfect strangers."
"So what do I do now, Logan?"
"Just walk away, Darlin'. Just walk away."
*********************************************************************************************************
"A faded picture from your heart
Was all you left for me
I'm still waiting, standing here
To see what I could see
Your love I borrowed just like time
It wasn't mine to keep
But the love we shared
I thought was there
And now you have to leave
Just walk away
There'll be no more tomorrows
Just walk away
You won't be there for me
From far away
I tried to say I'm sorry
But I can't find a way
(To) just walk away
Couldn't see for I was blind
The hurt you hide inside
I didn't mean to break your heart
I wish it had been mine
And as another day unfolds
Don't know what it means
Was it love we had?
Or love gone bad
Still the love we need
Just walk away
There'll be no more tomorrows
Just walk away
You won't be there for me
From far away
I tried to say I'm sorry
But I can't find a way
(To) just walk away..." --Dokken.
*********************************************************************************************************
Yeah, so it sucked. They can't all be home runs, now can they?
Was I a little mean to Jean? Yes, I was. Sorry, it just fit the story.
By the way this probably going to be the last story I write for a while; graduate school is getting set to
kick my ass for a little while. When I do return (and I shall) the stories are going to be more in the vein
of "Renegade" rather than what you just read (i.e. cynical and full of political rhetoric). And unless I'm
flooded with requests to the contrary, I probably won't be writing anymore Jean/Logan stories. But I
will leave you with a little taste of what's to come: "Gambit, meet John Constantine." And if you don't
know who John Constantine is, well, you just ain't cool. Peace - TheMack
And finally, just to piss some of you off even more, here's my review of comics for the year 2000.
Best Comics: Best Writer:
1. Top 10 1. Alan Moore
2. Extraordinary League of Gentlemen 2. Brian Azzarello
3. Promethea 3. Garth Ennis
4. Hellblazer 4. Mike Carry
5. Tom Strong 5. Warren Ellis
6. Planetary 6. Jamie Delano
7. Lucifer 7. Frank Cho
8. Punisher/Preacher (tie). 8. Matt Wagner
9. Liberty Meadows 9. Grant Morrison
10. Outlaw Nation 10. Christopher Priest
Reasons not to give up on Marvel, because they seem to actually want to put out good books now:
1. Punisher (Yeah, Garth!!)
2. Deadpool
3. Ultimate Spider-Man
4. Grant Morrison is going to be taking over the X-Men in 2001 (fuck yeah!)
5. Erik Larsen and Rob Liefeld no longer have anything to do with Wolverine (oh, the agony…)
6. Ultimate X-Men (hey, the first two issues smoked)
7. Marvel Knights