This was written for a challenge at gameofcards over on LJ - the theme was a setting lottery and I ended up with the school. This is set sometime between 3x12 and 3x16.
There are times when Neal wonders about his life choices.
If he was honest, he would not change anything. But sometimes he wonders what it would be like if he had actually been the teacher he is pretending to be. It surprises him how much he enjoys literature and it pains him to walk away – but that has been his lot in life. Neal Caffrey sheds skins as easily as other people change clothes. He knows it will fade soon.
That does not stop him from regretting the fact that he will be leaving as soon as Peter makes the arrest and he cannot get attached. He knows that this is just a con. Just like when he sat in on the criminology class.
He will put it behind him – but it will stew in the back of his mind, like many other things still do. It may very well become one of the things that he thinks about in the dead of night when the future unfurls in front of him.
Sometimes he wonders what he will do when he is free – there are so many possibilities, each connected to a different identity. It is a cliché to say that they are endless, but he could become anyone or do anything. But he cannot help but wonder if he will ever be able to do that – deep down he is not sure.
If he is honest with himself (and he usually is not), he has no idea – he has no idea if he will be free or what he will want to do. He does not know if he will be able to stay in New York or if he will ever see Peter or El again after he is free. (He would have included Mozzie, but he knows that Moz will never let Neal leave him behind.) There are so many possibilities and he is not sure that he wants to think of any of them – not while he still has a leash.