Rating: R. Not yet, but further into the story it will be needed
Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended. Author's Note: This is my first ever fanfiction story and I would love to know what you think. So feel free to review at the end!

Prologue

I'm frightened by what I see
But somehow I know that there's much more to come
Immobilised by my fear
And soon to be blinded by tears
I can stop the pain
If I will it all away.
Evanescence – 'Whisper'

"I would feel better if it was you."

"I know you would James, I know, and I would to. But I'm the obvious choice."

"But you would never betray us. I know you wouldn't."

"I know. But we have no idea how persistent they can be. I would gladly die before telling them where you were, but I don't know what will happen."

"None of us do." He lay a consoling hand on his best friends shoulder.

"They will never suspect him James. Never." He paused letting his words sink in. "If I am taken then you will have time to make other plans before they come for the rest of us. Please believe me, it is better this way. I'm sure it is." The raven-haired man looked deep into the eyes of his best friend. He saw only good intentions buried within his soul. He sighed inwardly. Everything had been so hard, not knowing who was telling Voldemort Order secrets, hoping but failing to believe that it wasn't someone close to them. Something about this still didn't feel right, but he understood the logic.

Sirius felt James sigh and slowly let out the breath that he had been holding. He knew that he had won this argument, one of the few he had won against his friend. This was better, he thought to himself. I don't know how long I could hold out to them, them and their methods. "James…" James shook his head and gave Sirius a reassuring smile, before both men turned at the sound of a baby crying a few rooms away.

"Go, check on your boy James. Make sure he hasn't gotten himself into any trouble."

"Not like his old-man hey?" James asked chuckling.

As James left the room Sirius turned and leaned heavily on the mantle over the fireplace. He knew he was doing the right thing, and yet something was nagging at the back of his head. For months now it had become obvious that someone close to them was feeding information to Voldemort. Accusations had flown, with a majority of the members of the Order accusing Moony. Sirius squeezed his eyes shut. He couldn't, wouldn't believe it. After everything they had been through at school. But the evidence was over whelming. He felt a soft touch on his shoulder.

Lily.

He could smell the scent of fresh flowers a mile away. As he turned to face her he silently cursed James for getting the best girl at the school. Her shoulder length red hair hung loosely around her pale face. She looked like she hadn't slept in a long time, her usually vibrant emerald green eyes seemed paler, dull, as if her mental tiredness was reflected through them. But then Sirius thought, none of us have slept, not truly felt at peace for a long time. He couldn't even begin to imagine the pressure, the fear that both she and James had been feeling since Harry had been born.

After the initial joy and elation at such good news in such a dark time, the reality and truth of the situation had set in. Sirius had often found James alone in the study lost in his thoughts. But he had only confided in Sirius once.

"I am so happy Sirius. So happy and yet so sad." Sirius rounded on James.

"Sad? Why are you sad James? You have a beautiful, caring, not to mention talented witch as a wife. Friends around you who will constantly support you and be there for you. And you're about to have a child James. You're bringing life into this world. I don't understand."

"What type of life will my child have if we can't stop Voldemort Sirius?" Sirius looked in his friends' eyes and saw into his heart. He saw all of the despair, the desperation and hunger for happiness and peace.

James crumpled in front of him. His head fell onto Sirius' shoulder. He could feel James heaving. Trying to keep in the anguish that he was feeling.

"James, let it all out. It is better out than in I say."

Sirius didn't know how long they had stayed like that. But he eventually heard James trying to say something. He grabbed his friends' shoulders and pushed him up so they sat facing each other. "What can I do to ease your pain my friend?"

"Sirius. Please, please promise me you'll take of him? Keep him safe" Sirius sucked a breath in. How could he promise such a thing? How could he not?

"James. Look at me." Slowly his eyes came up and met Sirius'. The pain had been replaced by a deep pleading look.

"You are going to look after your boy James. You. You are going to be an amazing father. You're going to teach him how to play Quidditch. You're going to be there when he performs his first spell, stuffs up his first potion and you're going to watch like a proud parent would when he wins the house cup for Gryffindor, and you know it. In your heart you know it."

"No. In my heart I see death. I see destruction. I don't see a future with him. I see him in the future, and I would gladly give me life to give him that future Sirius, but I don't see myself in it. I want to know that he will have someone in his corner when I'm gone."

"He won't just have me in his corner. He'll have everyone there." That was enough for James. He slumped back into the wingback chair and fell into a restless slumber. Sirius had stayed with him until the first rays of sun hit the room. Only after he left the room did he open his left hand and saw the pendant that James had forced into his hand. He didn't know what it was but he knew what James wanted.

"Lily."

"Sirius. What's wrong?" He smiled as he looked in her emerald coloured eyes. He never had been able to pull the wool over her eyes. None of them had.

"Just thinking what the future holds."

"James told me you want Peter to be the Secret Keeper." Sirius waited with baited breath. He didn't know how Lily was going to take this news. He was afraid she would think that he was abandoning them, betraying them.

"I think you've got a smart head attached to that body. Sometimes." A mischievous grin had formed on her face. Sirius returned with a shocked and hurt look of his own.

"And that puppy dog face isn't going to work on me mister. I can see right through you." They laughed together. And for a second, just one second it felt as if the weight that they had been burdened with so long ago had lifted.

They both turned at the sound of a young childish giggle and saw James entering the living room with a young boy with raven coloured hair, as messy as his fathers, and emerald green eyes, as intense as his mothers. James came up and put his arm around Lily. Sirius felt a lump form at the back of his throat. He quickly conquered a small camera and snapped the happy family. James and Lily were both waving at the camera with Harry in between the two of them. They both looked adoringly at their son, and then at each other.