As all Road Rovers fans know, one of the most recurring gags in Road Rovers is that Blitz is always trying and never succeeding in winning Colleen's heart. So I decided, in this story, to show Blitz's crush on and obsession with his singular female comrade taken to far darker extremes. Hence the title, and hence why this story is rated T.
BTW, I recently decided I would add a few modifications to this to make it better. Hope no one minds the modified version.
THINGS TO NOTE:
The song Blitz sings in this story is spun off from "Hellfire" from Disney's The Hunchback Of Notre Dame. I do not own the song, for it belongs to Disney. Nor do I own the scenes that go with the song, as they are spun off from the scenes that go with the song in the original movie, and those scenes in that original "The Hunchback Of Notre Dame" movie belong to Disney, as well. Hilariously, both Road Rovers and the Disney movie in question came out in the same year. That is, 1996.
This fanfic takes place seven weeks after the final episode of Road Rovers.
I own none of the characters. They all belong to the Road Rovers franchise.
Blitz's Hellfire
Although things were going much smoother for the Road Rovers and the world around them now, as General Parvo and his loyalists had finally been done in for real and they were no longer a threat to anyone or anything, not EVERYTHING was well in the personal matters of the Cano-Sapien superhero team. The reason for this? Blitz had not shown it for quite some time, which both puzzled and pleased his leader and that leader's second in command, respectively Hunter and Colleen, but especially the latter, but he still felt it. And by "it", I mean his unbelievably persistent and unending desire to get into Colleen's pants. From the very beginning, he'd fell in love with her. But she was never interested in him and just didn't return the feelings, especially in light of how she would have still gotten to love Hunter even if her rejecting view of Blitz had been nonexistent.
Right now, Blitz really, after seven weeks of bottling up the seemingly faded away urge to embrace and knock boots with Colleen, who was considering marrying Hunter and vice versa, needed a way to deal with his desires and feelings, especially since they just wouldn't shut up, much less fade away. So he walked over to his fellow Rovers, seeming perfectly stable and normal even though he was anything but that at the moment, and said: "Uh, guys? I'm going to go down to the living room of these headquarters and sit in front of the fireplace. It's a very cold day today, and so much so I'm feeling real chilly even being in here." It was the cold truth. Not only was it an extremely freezing day, there was snow and ice everywhere, and the Rovers had, as such, built a huge fire in the living room just minutes ago, before they all decided to get some hot chocolate for themselves, save Blitz, who wasn't in the mood for it right now. And the fact that it was now nighttime made it so it was a colder day than ever.
Buying it, Hunter replied: "Okay, Blitz, but if we need you for anything, be sure to keep your ears open for that, okay?" "Ja, not a problem." Blitz responded. He then walked into the living room, and Colleen, after hearing him shut the doors to the living room and lock them along with her fellow Rovers who were still here, asked: "Eh? I don't get it. 'e locked the bloody doors as soon as 'e got in there?" "Nyet, I don't understand, either." Exile nodded. "Nor do I, but I guess he just wants some time alone, for whatever reason." Hunter speculated. "What do you think, Shagg?" asked Colleen. Shagg just shrugged as if to say "I haven't the slightest clue at all." So the Rovers just continued chatting and sipping their hot chocolate, unaware of how dark Blitz was about to become, at least in some respects.
Blitz, you see, after closing and locking the doors to the living room, had also turned off all of the lights and, due to the fact it was nighttime right now, caused the room to become utterly dark and pitch black, save for the huge fire in the even huger fireplace. He then walked in front of the fireplace and looked into the crackling, high, bright flames, saying: "Dear lord, will I ever be able to ignore how much I have such a thing for Colleen? Nein, of course not! How could I ever ask such a foolish, obvious question? I'm always going to have the hots for her, but Gott dammit, she's never going to accept it!" He sighed and then, after a short silence, he began to sing while religious chorus music and song lyrics in Latin began playing in the background of him.
"Confiteor Deo Omnipotenti(I confess to God almighty). Beatae Mariae Semper Virgini(To blessed Mary, ever Virgin). Beato Michaeli Archangelo(To the blessed archangel, Michael).
Sanctis apostolis omnibus sanctis(To the holy apostles, to all the saints)." Blitz, despite being from Germany, had been passing his time by learning Latin a lot lately, and using both that and English, he began to sing himself, going: "Beata Maria, you know I am a righteous dog. Of my virtue I am justly proud."
As the fire seemed to rise and expand some, the Latin singing continued: "Et tibit Pater(And to you, Father)." Blitz also continued his own singing: "Beata Maria, you know I'm so much purer than the common, vulgar, weak, licentious crowd." He thought of all the criminals and villains he and his fellow Rovers had faced routinely when he sang this part, and mirages of them formed behind him.
As these mirages disappeared, the Latin gospel music kept on with: "Quia peccavi nimis(That I have sinned)." Blitz also continued his Latin/English style of his own singing: "Then tell me, Maria, why I see her dancing there!" A fire shaped Colleen figure appeared in the fire an' began to dance around. Blitz sang on: "Why her smoldering eyes still scorch my soul!" The Latin gospel singing went on with: "Cogitatione(In thought)." Blitz sang out further verses: "I feel her, I see her! The sun caught in her brown/white fur…" The fire Colleen made flames erupt from it, and Blitz kept singing: "…is blazing in me out of all control!" The Latin gospel singing then turned into many hellhounds, who surrounded Blitz and howled out in song: "Verbo et opere(In word and deed)!" Blitz's singing now consisted of: "Like fire! Hellfire! This fire in my skin! This burning desire is turning me to sin!" As this happened, the fire in the fireplace began to rise and move about as if it were hellfire, and then the Colleen-shaped fire figure came out of it. He could immediately tell why it was doing that, and knew why it had done that, even after it disappeared. He put his hands over his face for a moment, but then he took them off and burst out words that he spoke, instead of singing, facing the hellhounds as he did so.
Blitz barked, looking very terrified: "It's not my fault!" But the hellhounds sang: "Mea culpa(Through my fault)!" Blitz shouted: "I'm not to blame!" The hellhounds sang, once more: "Mea culpa(Through my fault)!" Blitz then snarled: "It is the collie girl! The bitch who sent this flame!" The hellhounds sang out: "Mea maxima culpa(Through my most grievous fault)!" Blitz yowled: "It's not my fault…" The hellhounds once again sang: "Mea culpa(Through my fault)!" A second later, the fire in the fireplace made a Colleen-shaped version of itself again, this time with a pair of devil horns, a pitchfork and a devil's tail. Blitz sang out, shocked at seeing this and continuing his sentence: "…if in Gott's plan…" The hellhounds yet again sang right out: "Mea culpa(Through my fault)!" Blitz then sang, finishing his sentence: "…he made the devil so much stronger than a man!" The devil version of Colleen disappeared into the flames of the fireplace, a second after it seemed to laugh villainously and the devil appeared behind it in fire form for just a moment before disappearing as well.
The hellhounds sang out: "Mea maxima culpa(Through my most grievous fault)!" Blitz sang for his next of verses after getting on his knees and putting his hands together, then shaking them as though begging/praying while a second Colleen shaped fire figure appeared: "Protect me, Maria! Don't let this siren cast her spell!" The fire Colleen blew a kiss at him, then made a fire blast come out of its other hand. Blitz kept singing: "Don't let her fire sear my flesh and bone! Destroy that bitch Colleen! And let her taste the fires of hell!" The second fire Colleen burned up and seemed to scream as though begin engulfed by the flames of hell. Blitz sang as he saw what looked like Colleen's soul come out of the fireplace: "Or else let her be mine and mine alone!" Several demons and hosts of hell appeared in the flames that were in the fireplace, and Blitz, after he embraced the Colleen shaped soul energy, which seemed to kiss him and vice versa just before it disappeared into nothingness, became more foreboding and intense than ever.
This was evidenced by how he threw his arms and head up into the air, singing on out loudly: "Hellfire! Dark fire! Now, hot Brit, it's your turn!" He shook his fist as he looked to the fire an' then sang on with: "Choose me or this fire!" He first put his hand on himself, then he pointed directly at the fire in the fireplace, subsequently singing as a mirage of Colleen, which was not made of flame or spiritual light energy, but rather made of what seemed to be a mix of flames and fire along with light and spiritual energy, making it light and shiny yet hot and fiery looking in appearance, plus alluring and scary at the same time, the dark words: "Be mine or you will BURN!" A second after Blitz then put the back of his hand over his forehead, the hellhounds sang: "Kyrie Eleison(Lord have mercy)!"
Blitz followed this up by backing away from the fireplace and singing: "God have mercy on her!" The hellhounds repeated their verse of: "Kyrie Eleison(Lord have mercy)!" Blitz also sang on out: "God have mercy on me!" as he put both of his hands over his face. And one final time, the hellhounds sang: "Kyrie Eleison(Lord have mercy)!" As the soul and hellfire combination resembling mirage of Colleen disappeared into the flames, Blitz then got to his knees, threw his arms into the air along with his head one last time, and sang out the final powerful, dramatic verse: "But she will be mine…OR SHE WILL BURN!" All of the mirages Blitz had seen disappeared, as did the hellhounds, who were also mirages, just as soon as they finished singing some gospel chorus music just as intensely as Blitz was finishing the song with.
Just as Blitz had finished his song, he stood up and turned around to see that, to his surprise, who should be standing right there in front of him but Colleen! "What the?" Blitz exclaimed. Not only was Colleen standing there, but she was looking at him with very wide open eyes and a paralyzed look to her. "COLLEEN?" Blitz exclaimed. "What are you doing in here?" "I was bloody well confused as to why you wanted to be alone in front of the fire of the living room, I was." Colleen replied. "So I got permission from 'unty to go down by myself and unlock them quietly to look into there and see what you were up to. Once I did, though, I couldn't believe what I was seeing at all." "You mean you were there the whole time I was singing?" asked Blitz. "Yes, I was." Colleen said. "And I 'ave to ask…are you really going to throw me into the fireplace if I say no to your advances? Because 'unty and I were considering marrying each other lately…"
"Nein, of course not!" Blitz replied. "I was just trying to make it so that I found a way to get out of me what I've been ignoring all this time! I've had a crush on you since we first met once we got mutated as Road Rovers, but you just didn't return the feelings and wanted Hunter instead later on! Although I've not acted on these desires like I used to lately, I had to find some way other than ignoring them, and this seemed like the only viable option if I wanted to keep them a secret, which sadly has now been blown by the one it's focused around." "Oh, Blitz, I just can't believe you would want for me that much, or be 'urting this much because of it." Colleen said, looking very morose, guilty and sad all of a sudden. Blitz was shocked. Colleen never said his name the right way, but now she got it right. "Colleen! It can't be! You pronounced my name the right way?" His eyes opened very widely.
Colleen then walked over to him and said: "Yes, I bloody well did, Blitz. Because even after all the time o' me rejecting you, getting your name wrong and making you the butt of my jokes, not to mention beating you up a lot and pretending I didn't know you, you still wanted me. Yet I still ignored, rejected and insulted you. And what that says about me, 'ard past on the streets o' London or not, is unthinkable. Since I was the source o' such pain to you, it's only proper that I help soothe it." She looked back to make sure neither Hunter nor Exile nor Shagg was there, and thankfully, none of them were. Then she looked into Blitz's eyes with her own looking like they were very longing, and said: "Blitz, I'm going to give you what you should 'ave gotten from me long ago, since you were always well meaning towards me, you were, even when you became too bloody pushy, which was often. I'm still gonna marry 'unty, and I still love 'im, but you should at least get the most I 'ave to offer."
Blitz did not have to think about what she meant. They embraced and his lips met hers, and it lasted until Blitz had all the erotic love from Colleen he'd ever need permanently in him, and it was even more everlasting than the feelings he'd had just moments ago and for so long before then. After their lips parted, he said: "Thank you, Colleen. Thank you so very much. That means so, so much to me, frau lein. More than nearly anyone could even begin to imagine, understand or grasp." "I'm very bloody glad you liked it, I am." Colleen responded. "But be warned…" She looked back just to be certain there was still no one there, and thankfully, no one was. She then said to Blitz: "…I'm still marrying 'unty, and I'm 'appy with it. 'e still is the one I truly love, and vice versa." She pointed to the flames in the fireplace, with Blitz looking to them, then she sang out once he looked into her eyes again: "Reveal I did this, AND YOU WILL BURN!" She sang it in the same tune and with the same force that Blitz had sung the final line of his song with, plus she threw her arms and head in the air the same way Blitz had previously, and Blitz got the message instantaneously, especially given his cowardly nature. The same kind of tune and beat as had played with Blitz in the background at the end of the song he sang now played with Colleen in the background, and Blitz nodded to show he understood and was now as satisfied as he could be, which was more than enough to cope with her final decision. Not to mention the way that he'd looked back at the fireplace just as she finished singing this, and he saw a mirage of a Colleen-shaped fire strangling and incinerating a Blitz-shaped fire, clearly intended to represent just how badly he'd burn before and after entering hell if he revealed this, which he knew and intended not to.
Colleen smiled and as the two walked out of the living room, with Blitz turning the lights back on in case anyone else wanted to go in there, they could almost hear the words" "Oh, fire! Hellfire!" playing in the background repeatedly. This continued until the last light was turned back on and the two Rovers left the living room to rejoin the other three. The mirage of hellfire Colleen strangling hellfire Blitz was now gone, and the fire looked normal once more after one last mirage changing. Blitz was now truly in the mood for some hot chocolate, so he'd get some as soon as he got back there, provided the others hadn't finished the pot while he was gone.
THE END
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