Disclaimer : the creators of GetBackers
Pairing : Ban X Kazuki (one-sided)
AN: It's been a while since I last wrote any ffics here haha. Be gentle LOL *whacked*
warning : unbeta-ed *sigh*
Red Thread
(KAZUKI's POV)
You may laugh. I still believe in supertition. Despite being as logic as I'd love to be, I still cling onto absurd beliefs; alternate world, reincarnation, gods and goddesses, life after death, and…
…of course; a red thread.
That's why I didn't believe it at first when I found my heart ache while thinking of you throughout another of my sleepless nights. Because I had been just sure that we're not bound by any thread. Because I had been utterly certain that we would not pass the line drawn in the name of just "a friend's friends". But I was apparently wrong, wasn't I? Because I found my heart ache while thinking of you throughout another of my sleepless nights.
And I still do.
I still do.
You can be surprised. You can mock me as always.
But I still do.
If not, why would I sit on the floor, wrapping myself in blanket, holding a hot black coffee, staring in silence at the moon, sighing, refraining the tears welled up in my brown eyes, now?
'You're pathetic, Itomaki…'
I can imagine you smirking. My heart is aching. But ironically, a part of it feels longing to your blurry figure in mind.
"…Midou…"
It seems you haven't even noticed what I began to feel about you. No, you won't. You're just busy with your life, ignoring me, once in a while bothering yourself to argue with me with that arrogant smug smirk of yours. And I'm just busy with my life, trying to ignore and lock weird imaginaries about you behind my logic mind and reminding myself you're just the type pf person I'd less like.
But some times…just some times… I'd let myself watch you for a long quiet seconds and felt the need to reach you in an embrace and say what I feel. And in that sometimes… I'd feel like I could burst in tears at any given times because it hurt my heart so much because I knew I couldn't do what I wanted.
You may laugh. I believed in red thread.
At first, I thought it's Juubei, the one to whom my red thread linked to. And I believed so, at first. And even until now, I still want to believe that he's the one and will be, forever.
Juubei is kind, caring towards me. He's the only one who will bother himself to call me just to ask 'How are you? Do you eat well? Should I go there? Should I live with you?' or just to say his favorite old-fashioned quote 'Kazuki… I was born to protect you…'.
I love him. I love him so much. But the love I feel towards him is never the same what he feels towards me. Because now, I'm just thinking of you thorought another of my sleepless nights and my heart is aching.
Go mock me now. Why didn't I fall into him? Why haven't I fallen?
If it's him, the one to whom my red thread linked to, I believe I will go through pleasant days without worrying I'll cry or my heart will be hurt.
But… it doesn't go as I want to. Because at this very moment, I'm thinking of you with ache stabbed my heart, suffocating me breathlessly… leaves me vulnerable enough I could die…
You may grin smugly as usual. I still believe in red thread.
I still do.
But…
Midou, actually, to whom my red thread link to?
Tell me…
-owari-
R