In Your Shadow
For as long as James Harrison Potter could remember, he'd wanted to be just like his father. Harrison Potter (or, as everyone knew him, Harry) was the best Auror in the field, he had been Quidditch Captain and best seeker, he had been the most popular student and had gotten straight A's his entire life. In short, he was everything that James wanted to be. Every test that came back less than perfect made James cringe because it wasn't the perfect score his Dad would praise him for. When he hadn't become a seeker, James felt a sickening pit of dread deep in his stomach and it wasn't until he became the best damn chaser ever (in his opinion) that the sickening pit lessened to a dull throb.
Every little thing James did was in an effort to impress his father and earn the praise he so desperately craved. He hated Slytherins, because his father hated Slytherins, he was one of the top in his year, because his father had been, and he was the most popular boy in school, because his father had been. Sirius would just shake his head and tell him that he had to be his own person outside of his father's expectation. Remus would smile and tell him that if his father loved him, that was all that mattered. Peter would get all googly-eyed and tell him that if that's what he wanted, he'd be able to do it. Lily just smiled with a shake of her head and tell him softly that she understood. She didn't though, not really. But James knew they tried, and that they cared for him.
So it was only natural, when his first child was born, to name the boy Harry. Lily said that Harrison was too formal, but Harry... it felt just right for the fragile person being cradled in her arms. It was then that James promised, deep within his heart, to love that little boy as much as he did his father -perhaps even more so. Because that little boy, was not Harrison Potter, but the perfect combination of Lily Evans and James Potter, making him so uniquely Harry Potter.
Even before Harry had gone to Hogwarts and actually learnt of his parents, he had been told by his Aunt that he looked 'just like that dratted Potter!' So from a young age, Harry had idealized the image of James Potter within his mind and turned the man into his own, personal hero. Even when he had arrived at Hogwarts and met the wise, grandfatherly headmaster and then the loud and proud Sirius Black or the quiet and strong Remus Lupin, James Potter was always his hero. For, wherever he went, people would say Harry Potter, looks just like his Dad, with eyes like his Mum.
It didn't surprise him, not really, that his patronus turned out to be a stag. It just felt natural to him that a spell of good memory and protection turned out to be his father's animagus. It just made natural sense to the boy. And the day he accidentally saw Snape's memory of his father and found the man to be a cruel bully had surely twisted the young Potter. For how could a man, whom he had loved so fondly throughout his years, be so cruel to another? This thought haunted him until the day Harry realized that, his father had been human. For some reason, this though gave Harry a peace of mind he hadn't owned beforehand. The thought of his father being just as human as Harry took a large weight of the boy.
So, when he turned that resurrection stone and spoke with his parents for the second time in his life, and he saw that pride standing so strongly and so surely in his father's eyes, Harry knew he could do this. That he would live, to be the same type of father to his own children. Loving, protective and kind, even when he couldn't truly be there.
James Sirius Potter always felt left out in his family. Sure he was the eldest and the biggest prankster, but Albus Severus was named for two people his father admired to the depths of his soul and Lily was the girl, obviously. So when Jay was young, he began to learn everything he could about his Granddad Potter. For, maybe if Jay acted like the man, his own father would be just as proud of him as he obviously was when he spoke of James Potter I.
He was best friend with his cousin, Fred Weasley, and learnt absolutely all he could from his Uncle George. Jay found the Maraurder's Map and used it to his heart's content, he blew up a toilet and made Professor McGonagall's head spin with all of his pranks. He became top of his transfiguration's class and was friends with nearly everyone in Gryffindor tower. But still, Jay knew that his father was not as proud of him as James thought he could be.
It frustrated Jay for the longest time in his life, when he was fifteen he went through a truly horrid period where he was downright cruel to everyone who wasn't a Gryffindor, even to his own brother and was biting with his sister until he made her cry. His mother became frustrated to tears with him and his own friends became wary around him, furthering his sullen and angry mood. It wasn't until his Dad did the smartest thing that anyone could have thought of that James snapped out of his mood.
"My father hated the name Jay." Harry Potter had said with an indifferent attitude as they all sat around the kitchen table on the Tuesday morning of spring break.
Albus froze and Lily darted away from the kitchen table, Ginny had sucked in a breath as James' face turned red in his anger.
"Well it's too bloody bad, because I'm not James Fucking Potter!" The boy had exploded.
Harry had glanced over the morning paper with a light, indifferently curious look. "Really?"
"Yes, really!" Jay snapped. "I'm Jay Sirius Potter, I fucking despise transfiguration and would much prefer charms! I hate it when people comment on how much I look like him and I hate how much I care about it!"
Harry had put down the paper and pinned Jay to his seat with a simple, disappointed gaze. "Then why do you go through such lengths to act like him?"
"W-well, I..." Jay was at a loss for words.
"Abe, let's go find your sister, shall we?" Ginny Potter softly beckoned her youngest son out of the room, letting Harry and Jay work this one out.
"Jay, I love you, I adore you, and I'm so, ridiculously proud of you." Harry told the boy softly. "It's true, I adore my father as well. But I adore him as a son does a father, I adore you as a father does his son. To be blunt, kiddo, you will never live up to him. But the cold truth? I don't want you to. I don't want James Harrison Potter, I want Jay Sirius Potter, my son."
With those words, Jay had wordlessly tossed himself into his father's embrace and cried for hours. Later, he would apologize to his friends and family, but for now, he basked in the realization that Jay was allowed to be just that, himself. For now he knew, that Jay was loved by his father and that the man was truly proud of him.
Albus Severus Potter loved his father, in truth it was hard not to. His father was brave and loyal, protective and kind, a gentle-soul with a ridiculous amount of wisdom. So when his brother Jay began to tease him mercilessly about how he was going to become a Slytherin, the boy was understandably nervous. His parents and their parents had all been Gryffindor, to be the first Slytherin would surely cast him out. He'd no longer be considered a part of the family, and to lose the love and respect of his father would kill him.
So when Harry pulled Albus over to the side and told him,"Albus Severus, you were named for two headmasters of Hogwarts. One of them was a Slytherin and he was probably the bravest man I ever knew." Albus knew, without a doubt, that he'd be just fine.
Alright, so first upload. Hope you all enjoyed that, in terms of the title, this story came about while listening to some Wrock (Wizarding Rock) titled In Your Shadow by Oliver Boyd and the Rememberalls
Please REVIEW!