So Many Shades of Black
A Mello/Matt Fan Fiction
Hello all! I would just like to say that this is my first serious fan fiction and if you like it and wish to see more then there is going to be some major bothering going on Haha
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Prologue – Matt's Point of View
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Life is sure a lot different when you grow up. You start to grow out of everything that comforted you through adolescence. Of course, one or two of your old hobbies may out last this vicious part of life, like the relieving sound of the buttons of a video game controller clicking, your thumbs violently punch them as a bead of sweat slowly trickles down your forehead. That familiar sensation of nerves twisting in your stomach as you charge through the final Boss' corridors, biting your lip in anticipation the whole way. That knowledge that you only have 23 of your life left and even though you have been here before and heard that sweet monotonic victory song that you hum every time something goes for the better in your life. That tension when you know you could be dead any moment and never reach that unexplainable bliss of that catchy tune. That reassuring yet frustrating defeated sigh that could only mean one thing; the "reset" button.
At the same time, you develop many new habits that replace your childhood comfort blanket. My example: the quick click of metal-on-metal as the glowing ember appears, sucking the life from the air around it with greedy flickers. That moment when paper first meets flame and releases the relieving, familiar sent into the air. That deep breath, when you try to inhale it all before taking that first drag. That first drag, the fateful one that releases the curls of velvety white smoke, twirling their way to the heavens. Oh, the smoke. That is my comfort blanket of my adult life. It was the only thing I could find even remotely close to filling all the holes that had been so roughly and carelessly ripped into my soul.
I think the most important thing about growing up is not what you keep or gain, but what you loose in the process. When you grow up where I did, coming of age meant one thing; losing the home you learned to love. With that home you lose so much more. You leave behind the bad that has the imprints that your, and only your, body. You leave the turkey sandwiches made just the way you like them and infamous Foreign Friday dinner, which you always skipped out on because you honestly didn't want to know what saurbraughten was. What hurt the most was leaving behind the only friends I had, and will have. Well, in all actuality my only friend left ME. When I left, I was already half empty and leaving the orphanage tore apart the rest of me.
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Okay, that is short but it is just easier to get into the story that way. And I felt like being deep. Haha Well, I would really love to know what you think! So reviews would be LOVELY! Thanks! 3