The inn was decidedly average, as far as inns went. Neutral colours, basic food, mediocre beds - nothing special. Even so, Sasori was almost pleased at not having to sleep out in the open for once. This was mostly because, being human again, the cold actually affected him now. However if he was being totally honest with himself – and where it came to matters involving emotion, he tended not to be – it was also due to the fact that Shihana enjoyed the rare opportunity to sleep in a bed.
Shihana... the girl who'd brought him back to life using her Kekhei Genkai - the one who'd made him human (in one sense of the word, at least). The girl who was a hindrance unlike any he'd put up with before, but one that he found it impossible to kill, for some reason. He figured it had something to do with that bloodline ability of hers... Confuses the mind or makes it hard to kill the one who used it... something like that.
Without making the conscious decision – without really meaning to at all – he pictured her in his head now, as he walked aimlessly through the inn corridors. The long, jet black hair which framed her opaque, lilac eyes. The spotless, white bandage which covered her forehead. Her thigh-length violet dress with flared sleeves which, he thought shamelessly, complemented her figure perfectly.
Everything about her fascinated him to some degree, from her cheeky, happy-go-lucky attitude to her strange lineage. Though she looked no different from the rest of the famous Hyuuga clan, she was only half Hyuuga – or so she'd told him once. Her father hadn't even been from the Leaf Village! Shihana had said she'd never known him, but it must have been his blood that gave her the ability to revive the dead. Otherwise, the mixing of two different bloodline traits resulted in a new bloodline altogether... was that even possible, he wondered.
Sasori suddenly realized he'd been thinking about her again and shook his head to clear his thoughts. Being human again was such a pain. All these emotions were a little overwhelming, especially to someone who hadn't felt in about 30 years. The only good thing he could think of was that if anything were to happen between them, at least he still looked young - otherwise it might make him seem like a paedophile.
No! he growled to himself. Nothing is going to happen between us.
As he forcibly returned himself to reality, Sasori noticed the object of his distracted thoughts standing outside her bedroom with Tobi, who seemed to be there against his will; Shihana's hand was clamped firmly around the boy's wrist as he tried in vain to escape, looking downright mortified (or as much as was possible with a mask on) while Shihana was practically vibrating, torn between utmost glee and utter disgust. She spotted him and nodded an amiable greeting before gesturing for him to keep quiet.
"Why? What's going on?" he whispered, not sure why he did as she asked when normally he'd have killed her on the spot for even suggesting such a thing, let alone commanding it.
"Mizuko's in there with Deidara." she stated slyly as if this explained everything. Sasori raised an eyebrow.
"So?"
Deidara and Mizuko usually spent a lot of time together – it was no secret that they were an item. Deidara had met the white haired kunoichi a very long time ago whilst on a mission and since then they'd become very close. To be more accurate, she had been the mission. After his death, Akatsuki had sought to find another barrier and traps expert to replace Sasori, and Mizuko Shinoske had been the perfect candidate; as such, Deidara had been ordered to kidnap her. With her white hair, golden eyes and feisty temper, it was no wonder he'd taken a shining to her.
"Just listen and you'll see." Shihana winked.
Again, without understanding why, Sasori did as she asked. For the first few seconds there appeared to be nothing amiss. That was until...
"Right, Dei. Time to strip!" Mizuko yelled, voice filled with sadistic joy.
"Do I have to?" Deidara moaned, sounding reluctant – strange, seeing as no other man would've complained. "It's cold, yeah."
Sasori was shocked. Had he still been a puppet he might have been able to hide it, but as he was still just getting used to his new body there was no chance of that now.
"Yes you do! If you don't they'll just get in the way, like last time. Remember? Besides, when we get started you'll warm up in no time."
Through the shock Sasori thought: They've done it before?! Shihana didn't seem at all surprised... a disturbing fact he tried not to dwell on.
"Fine. Get ready, yeah."
"Tsk, tsk! Did you forget our deal already? This time we do it my way, clay boy," Mizuko said. Sasori could practically hear the grin. Oh crap... We have to get away from here. He had no desire to hear anymore but it would appear Shihana did, for instead of moving away, she dragged him and a shaking Tobi closer.
"I didn't say that!" Deidara sounded panicked.
"Oh yes you did. I told you I wouldn't forget. C'mon, get into position."
Definitely feeling sick now...
"But your way is really painful... Last time I was bruised for weeks, yeah!"
"Quit your moaning and take it like a man!"
Painful? Okay probably, but bruised? Surely it's not that bad! I had no idea Mizuko was so... aggressive... Despite himself Sasori was starting to get drawn into the conversation.
"Alright but the next ten times are my rules, yeah."
"'Kay. Now as it's my rules, I get to go first. Are you ready, Dei?"
"Yeah. Just go easy on it this time, yeah. You're always too rough. Remember that time you broke it clean off and I had to use some spare clay to fix it?"
SAY WHAT?! She BROKE it?! And what does he mean he used clay to fix it?! Now he's a walking time bomb!
Tobi turned to Shihana, who in his opinion was a grand master of all life's problems. Sasori listened enthusiastically to their exchange; anything to take his mind off the sordid activities taking place behind that door.
"Sh-Shihana?" Poor Tobi seemed to have been scarred for eternity. "Tobi didn't know that... that... was something you could fix. Is Deidara-senpai going to be okay?"
"You can fix it, Tobi, but only if you're fast enough. Using his clay was stupid though. He really should have stitched it back on."
They were interrupted by a shout from Mizuko, and a pained cry from Deidara. In his new skin, Sasori felt himself go pale – this was why he was better off as a puppet!
"Hey, watch where you're going will you? That was my leg!"
"Sorry, yeah! My aim's not so good with my hair in my face."
I really didn't need to know that...
There was nothing for the next few minutes but heavy breathing and some seriously questionable nonsensical words, and in the brief interlude in speech he wondered why the hell the three of them were sitting here listening to something so private. To distract himself, Sasori asked why Shihana wasn't in the room (it was her room too, after all). She replied that Mizuko had sent her for dinner for them both.
Makes sense... Of course, she'd want to get Shihana out of the room...
"Give up, Deidara! I'm just way outta your league!" Mizuko suddenly puffed.
"I think you're right! You're way too good, yeah. I'll maybe ask Shihana next time," Deidara wheezed in return.
He'll what?!
"I wouldn't, if I were you." Neither would I! "Shihana's as good as me."
...?
Sasori turned to Shihana with a horrified look on his face and was greeted by a mask of shocked confusion.
"What about Tobi then, yeah?"
Tobi let out a muffled squeak of terror and quickly started repeating the mantra, 'But Tobi's a good boy!'
"Nah. He wouldn't take it seriously enough."
"I suppose Sasori-danna will do then, yeah. He won't be as good as the rest of you 'cause he's still adjusting to his new body. Besides he's not as experienced as me, so I might actually have a chance to whip him."
Oh no he won't! I'm not joining in any of his freakish dominatrix games!
In that instant Tobi cracked, his fragile self-composure shattering, and in a moment of pure insanity he ran headlong into the door, screaming as he went. The door, of course, was flattened and in an attempt to spare themselves the ghastly sight that surely awaited them, Shihana and Sasori hit the deck, hands over their faces. Tobi kept on running until he hit the wall and was knocked out – a mercy in Sasori's opinion.
"Make yourselves decent, for the love of all humanity!" Sasori yelled.
"What are ya talkin' about, danna? We are decent, yeah."
Hesitantly Sasori uncovered his eyes. "You better be Deidara or I will kill you."
What he beheld was... unexpected to say the least. Instead of the vulgar scene he'd expected, he opened his eyes to a comparatively innocent sight.
Mizuko and Deidara were indeed closely entwined, but on top of a white plastic sheet on the floor – thankfully with a full compliment of clothing on their backs. The sheet had many brightly coloured spots and there was a piece of cardboard on next to it with a black arrow that had been fixed on using... clay... Oh...
To his left, Deidara's cloak and shoes lay strewn on the bed along with Shihana's shoes too. I suppose those would get in the way...
"Oh!! Well that explains a lot!" Shihana laughed. "She's right, Dei. I am too good at Twister for you!"
I'm a weirdo I know but at least I'm good at it!
NOTE 2: This story has been re-done. You are looking at the new and improved version. :D