This one-shot was inspired by Katy Perry's song "Thinking Of You". So credit to her for the amazing lyrics!
Disclaimer- I don't own Harry Potter or any of the characters etc. Credit to J.K. Rowling!
Author's Note- This story goes back and forth between Ron and Hermione's perspectives. It begins in Hermione's. Ron and her are NOT together when this story is taking place. It is, however, after the war and they were together in the past. Enjoy!
Comparisons are easily done
Once you've had a taste of perfection
Like an apple hanging from a tree
I picked the ripest oneI still got the seed
I compare everyone to him. Every man I meet, the first thought that drifts through my head is "He doesn't have freckles", "He has no sense of humour". The truth is no one can replace Ron. I had been foolish to think that I could just get over him, foolish to believe for even a second that I'd be fine without him at Hogwarts… alone. I didn't want to leave for a whole school year and have Ron on my mind all the time, so I ended things. I was stupid. I see the aftermath of my stupidity every day. I wake up to it, I live it, I eat it, I breathe it. Whatever short-lived "romance" we had, was…
Perfect.
I have to quit lying to myself. It was perfect. The laughs, the hand-touches, the shared looks, the blushing, the kisses. There was bickering and fights. But they always ended with kissing and hugging. I had used the fights as an excuse to get away. But none of those little disagreements matter anymore.
You said move on
Where do I go
I guess second best
Is all I will know
Every night, before I fall sleep, I can see her face. I can see her lips forming the words, her blank expression, her eyes staring at her hands.
"You can move on. You'll forget me soon enough."
I was heartbroken. That summer had been the best of my life. The happiest I had been in a long time. Even the sadness over losing Fred and so many other loved ones, was tainted with happy moments of Hermione comforting me, Hermione's kisses, Hermione's soft hair and skin. Hermione, Hermione, Hermione. When she told me she was leaving, that she was going to Hogwarts… I knew that it would be hard. But I never expected her to just… expect me to forget about her, to forget about us. I see her everywhere. I see her in the chocolate frogs that she used to leave for me, I see her in the bottles of her shampoo at the shopping mart, I see her in the vanilla ice cream that she used to eat by the tub, I see her sitting on my bed, laughing, smiling, frowning, concentrating, biting her lip, fixing her hair. I see her across from me, playing chess, and I see her head on my lap as she reads and I play with her hair. But the utter truth is…. She's gone.
She seemed to have thought that I could "move on" that I could find someone else. Well, that has not been the case. Hermione is perfect. Her brown curls, and chocolate eyes, her perfect skin tone, and pink lips. She has only left room for second best. Because no one can compare to her, not when I'm still in love with her.
Cause when I'm with him
I am thinking of you
Thinking of you
What you would do if
You were the one
Who was spending the night
Oh I wish that I
Was looking into your eyes
After Hogwarts… I didn't return home. I didn't visit Ron or the Weasley's. I was too ashamed. I moved to London and bought a flat. A few months later, I ran into Victor at the muggle diner. I think that was the biggest shock that I have experienced so far. To see his head, bending over a menu, his eyes squinting at the options, clucking his tongue. Before I knew it, we were more or less "together". He spends nights at my flat and he's perfect to me. He asks me about my day and sweetly kisses me goodnight. He lays on his back and welcomes me into his arms, where I rest my head on his shoulder. Content.
Or not. Because I can't help thinking about Ron. Him laying on his side and throwing his arm over me. Me tucking my head into the crook of his neck and feeling like the safest, happiest person alive. And him kissing the top of my head, and whispering "goodnight", while Victor kisses my mouth and gives me a "meaningful" look. His eyes are harsh. They're always harsh. But Ron's were always… sparkling. His eyes were always laughing, shining, welcoming. The coal, black of his pupil swimming in a deep blue sea. I wish it were his eyes I saw every night. His arms that surrounded me, his legs that entangled themselves with mine. I wish it were his hands stroking my hair, and his face the last thing I saw every day. But it was Victor's.
You're like an Indian summer
In the middle of winter
Like a hard candy
With a surprise center
How do I get better
Once I've had the best
You said there's
Tons of fish in the water
So the waters I will test
Hermione has always surprised me. At first, back when we were eleven, she seemed book smart, annoying, and a know-it-all. And sometimes that's exactly what she was. But over the years I've learned that she's kind, and courageous, she has a huge heart, and she's witty. She's gorgeous, and she can make me laugh. She can even play a good game of chess. But nothing has surprised me more than when she first kissed me. Throughout that summer after the war, she surprised me every day. The first time we really shared a kiss, without Harry present, that first time we slept together… really slept together, and about 2 weeks later when she decided to go to Hogwarts, and forget about me.
I will never forget the last thing Hermione said to me,
"There's tons of fish in the water you know Ron". But the problem is, she's the only fish I will ever want. No matter how many girls I meet. Hermione is on my mind.
He kissed my lips
I taste your mouth
He pulled me in
I was disgusted with myself
Whenever Victor kisses me, there's nothing. No sparks, no fast heartbeats or butterflies in my stomach. No fireworks. His lips are hard against mine, his mouth too hot. He kisses me, and I close my eyes and taste Ron. I taste the chocolate, and the mint toothpaste, I taste the essence of Ron himself. But I open my eyes again, and it's gone. Instead I'm left with the taste of cigarettes, and beer, and something that leaves my lips tingling unpleasantly. He pulls me in for a hug, or to lay on the couch, and I feel disgusted with myself. I chose this, I chose him, I left. I'm the one who walked away. I'm the one who never sent an owl, or went back after Hogwarts. I let my life get this way. It's entirely my fault.
You're the best
And yes I do regret
How I could let myself
Let you go
Now the lesson's learned
I touched and I was burned
I go back to the night that she left in my head all the time. How I could have reached out as she turned away. How I could have grabbed her hand, and spit out what I had been trying to say for weeks. That I loved her, that I always would. That she was the one… she had always been the one. I could have just told her to stay, that I needed her. Instead, I let her walk away. I let her leave me. I never sent her an owl, or tried to get her back. I let her become the one that got away. It's entirely my fault. I have promised myself over and over that I would never let this happen again. It's a lesson learned. But I realized, with an overwhelming sadness, that I wouldn't get another chance. Hermione wouldn't give me one, and I don't want one with anyone else. So I'm left here, living in a flat, alone. Auror training has kept me just preoccupied enough for me to survive, for me not to go mental over Hermione. But it still burns every time I open the door to an empty flat, no one to fall asleep with or say goodnight to. And it's entirely my fault.
Cause when I'm with him
I am thinking of you
Thinking of you
What you would do if
You were the one
Who was spending the night
Oh I wish that I
Was looking into your eyes
Looking into your eyes
Throughout our whole relationship, Victor never messed up. But the first time he did, I snapped. He came home at 1am, smelling of liquor and cigars. He crashed through the door and tripped over the rug, waking me up. I tried to help him out of his trousers and jumper, but he smacked away my wrist, as a used wrapper fell to the floor. The cold truth suddenly slapped me in the face. He had been with a girl. The world stopped. My heart stopped. I expected tears, and a crushing feeling in my chest as my heart shattered. But as he apologized and grabbed my shoulders, excuses spilling out his mouth, hot alcohol breath hitting me in the face, I realized that none of this was going to happen.
"Get out Victor. You can come and get your stuff in the morning." I pushed his arms off of my shoulders and stepped back, walking out of the bedroom.
"Hermione… Hermione! You can't do this. I love you." Victor followed me out to the front door. I opened it and looked him hard in the eyes.
"Well I… I don't love you. I'm so sorry."
After he left, I laid down in the cool bed, no one's body heat comforting me, no harsh eyes or raspy voice wishing me goodnight. Just me.
Ron would never do such an awful thing. Especially not if he "loved me".
The thought crossed my half-asleep mind so quickly, it caught be off guard. My eyes snapped open, and I silently cursed myself for ending my short-lived peacefulness. It was then that I realized that even without Victor there, I was still thinking of Ron. Ron. Ron. Ron. He was the only thing worth thinking of.
Oh won't you walk through
And bust in the door
And take me away
Oh no more mistakes
Cause in your eyes I'd like to...
When I arrived at the Burrow, no one was home. This alone was a huge shock. Because that never happens. Someone is always there. I settled myself down in my favorite chair, tilting my head back and ready to wait for Harry and Ginny, ready to wait for the family to arrive home. But merely 10 minutes later a light knock on the door had me puzzled. Harry and Ginny and every wizard and witch who associate themselves with this house know to just come right in. The knock came again, a little more hesitant. As I slowly walked to the door and peered out of the glass pane, I saw a retreating figure. She had her arms wrapped around her body, hugging herself. I opened the door, calling out to the girl, with small wisps of brown, curly hair peaking out of her hood.
"Can I help you?" I exclaimed. At that moment as the girl turned around, the world stopped, my heart stopped, my mouth parted in surprise.
Hermione smiled, and bit her lip.
"Hey" she said, letting her arms fall to her sides. I took the two steps down the stairs and tried to keep the grin off of my lips.
I slowly started speaking at a level tone, "You show up here after months!" I raised my eyebrows,
"And you say 'hey'?" I gave a half grin as I walked closer to her.
Hermione's smile widened and suddenly it dropped.
"I've actually been gone for over a year Ronald."
"But who's counting?" I said, stuffing my hands in my pockets.
"I have been. I've been aware of every day that I've spent away from you." Hermione said, her voice breaking, and tears coming into her eyes.
"And what makes you think that I haven't been thinking about you every single day since you left?" I exclaimed, "As if I could forget you!"
Hermione turned on her heel, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have come. This was a mistake."I pulled my hands out of my pockets, took two steps forward, and caught her wrist in my hand in one instant.
"Stay"
Authors Note- Reviews are welcome! And constructive criticism is needed as well! (: Thank you so much for reading! I am most likely starting a little "series" of similar one-shots, based on songs, and Ron and Hermione's relationship. This is the first one-shot in the "Stay" series. Also, I am from the United States and if you find anything in here that is totally wrong for the setting and language of this story, please tell me! I'm not too familiar with British spelling and terms etc. Thank you again!