i do not own watchmen although if i did i would totally own Matthew Goode's version of adrian Viedt cuz hello, sexy beast right there, anyway, dc comics and alan moore own them
Me: hello and welcome to the first installment of a very merry watchmen christmas, if they all show up!
Ozymandias: im here
Me: yeah but you seem to be the only one
Ozymandias: Well if you don't enjoy my company I will just leave
Me: NOOOOOOOOO, you can't leave until we get festive, I have to hang the mistletoe and give Rorschach a bath
Ozymandias: How is giving Rorschach a bath festive
Me: It will be my gift to all of you
POOF
Dr. Manhattan: Dr. Manhattan in the house
Me: Well hello sir. Have you come to help me in my Christmas festivity?
Dr. Manhattan: No actually I want the free food
Me: Well too bad, you are in charge of getting the others here, and then you get free food
Dr. Manhattan: All the fruit cake I want?
Me: Suuuuuuuuuuure
Ozymandias: What am I supposed to do?
Me: (Smiles evilly) you are gonna help me with the mistletoe
Ozymandias: Oh no, why does this sound like a bad idea
Me: because I take to the tradition really well
Ozymandias: Uhhhhh, you are not gonna kiss me are you?
Me: For the smartest man in the world you sure are dumb
Ozymandias: Im gonna run away now
Me: JON (snaps fingers)
POOF
Ozymandias: How did I get tied to this chair?
Nite Owl: (looks around confused) Laurie?
Silk Spectre: Daniel
Me: Hey where is Rorschach
Dr. Manhattan: Can I get my fruit cake now?
Nite Owl: Hey look mistletoe
Silk Spectre: oooooh, yeah
Ozymandias: What are you the kool aid man?
Me: I've got an idea, Jon, did you hang the mistletoe by any chance
Dr. Manhattan: I gave Rorschach a bath too
Rorschach walks into doorway im standing in, wearing nothing but a white towel and looks around
Rorschach: What?
Ozymandias: First off you are standing there naked; second off you are standing there naked in a doorway under mistletoe with a crazed fan girl
Rorschach: Oh god
Me: Finally this party is getting fun!
Starts making out with him
Breaks for air
Makes out with him again
Dan and Laurie join in making out on their own
Dr. Manhattan: So, while they are preoccupied why don't we…
Ozymandias: I don't swing that way blue boy
Dr. Manhattan: Ohh, well I thought because it never said in the movie or the novel…
Ozymandias: well I do like women and frankly I have a girlfriend so even if I did I wouldn't kiss you
Dr. Manhattan: Who is she?
Ozymandias: None of your business
Dr. Manhattan: Well excuse me. How come I never see you with a woman?
Ozymandias: YOU SPY ON ME
Dr. Manhattan: No, I just sit in your house invisible some times
Ozymandias: When do you do that?
Dr. Manhattan: Every time you are there
Ozymandias: How about when I am not there
Dr. Manhattan in your car or office and sometimes in your bathroom
Ozymandias: I wondered why my toilet paper glowed blue.
Dr. Manhattan: well now you can quit wondering.
Ozymandias: Oh, god just help me
Dr. Manhattan: He can't
Ozymandias: just untie me! (Gets up and starts to walk away)
I finally break for air again
Me: hey, are you leaving before we break out the eggnog?
Ozymandias: Oh I love eggnog! (Sits back down)
Silk Spectre: you are always hungry
Ozymandias: Well it fuels my expananchly gargantuan brain
Silk Spectre: You bother me sometimes
Ozymandias: Oh go jump in a lake
Silk Spectre: You would like that wouldn't you
Ozymandias: Yes, yes I would
Nite Owl: just shut up and enjoy the eggnog
Hands Rorschach a cup
Nite Owl: You might want to get some clothes on
Me: Why, if he wants to go around naked, let him, he wouldn't be the first naked person to show up at my house
Rorschach: Exactly, wait, what?
Me: ok just go, I have some clothes in the guest bedroom, you seem to be about my height, im sorry to say you might have to cope with woman jeans and a lime green shirt
Rorschach: Oh god (leaves to get clothes)
Me: (smiles evilly again), oh Adrian, come here
Ozymandias: Um ok
Me: Jon you too
Jon floats over to me I step out of the doorway
Silk Spectre and Nite Owl: HA HA HA
Me: time for the celebration to begin
Ozymandias: oh
Dr. Manhattan: (grabs Adrian and starts making out with him, never breaking for air because he doesn't have to!)
Rorschach: (walks in brushing his red hair, sees the two and stares)
Me: (smiles because I got the whole thing on camera)
To readers,
I spiked the eggnog so I don't think that they would mind if i posted this. If you want a mistletoe kiss with any of them (including Rorschach because he is a very Very happy drunk) then just message me and maybe tomorrow you can get a kiss (smiles evilly) with any of them!