AN: Okay...I was irritated by last night. I knew I had to "write" that wrong...It would've been out of character for Morgan to have compromised her, but I didn't expect to see him foist her off on Lynch. Deep down, I kept saying, "What was HE thinking?" and even more, "What was SHE thinking?" now that the smoke from that night cleared...I think I get it now...and can see a future for our pair...
Fold 'em or Hold 'em? By KricketWilliams
As Penelope skipped out the door to her waiting boyfriend, she tossed happily over her shoulder to the bestest best friend that ever lived, "Okay, love you, bye bye."
She was so relieved! So thrilled that she hadn't made a major mistake in ruining her friendship with Derek, or her romance with Kevin, by acting on some foolish impulse. That would be a ridiculous thing to do. What woman wouldn't drool over a nearly naked, naturally naughty, Nubian Hot Suff in the bed room of their domicile?
Sure, she'd had thoughts and dreams of other things in the past, but Derek wasn't interested in that way. When she'd been angry at him before she'd been shot, she'd hit the nail on the head. Afterward, too, when she'd been in the hospital, she had told him and Reid that it was foolish for her to think of someone like Battle being interested in her. Morgan was a million times the man Battle was; she knew better than to overachieve.
It didn't matter how well suited they seemed, or how they could finish each others sentences. It didn't matter that they found solace in each others arms, or that they thrilled at seeing one another. It didn't matter that her breath caught in her throat when he was pleased with her, and that she smiled a smile just for him. It certainly didn't matter that she felt complete in his arms.
That was all fantasy, and being shot had taught her to be a realist...the hard way.
Yes, she smiled to herself, while Kevin slipped his arm around her waist. Derek was so noble. He was the most noble best friend she could ever have, and she truly loved him. How could she have had any doubts about what had happened? She'd freaked out, and there was no need at all for it. His character was beyond reproach when it came to her. He was her noir knight, the man who would watch over her and protect her, no matter what.
Knights and lady fair, that was what they were. Courtly love was such a beautiful thing. A knight that defended his lady's honor, even if it meant denying himself what he truly desired.
A wash of cold hit her. Was that what Derek was doing? Did he think he didn't deserve better?
"Whoa! Watch your step, there."
She hadn't even realized she had stumbled until he said those words. "Sorry."
He did. He deserved so much better. He was sweet, kind, noble. He was loving, gentle, heroic. He was so much more than a pretty face...and he was a pretty face, too!
Kevin grinned happily at her. "Anyway, what I was saying is that we should go to the Genghis Mongolian restaurant. It was-"
"Kevin, I'm sorry," she said, not really listening at all to what her boyfriend was saying. "Please, say that all again?"
He gave her a concerned look with his soft brown eyes. "Are you okay, Plum Sauce?"
"I..I'm fine," she said.
Leaning slightly away from her and stiffening just a bit, Kevin began cautiously, "If this is about these scheduled Tuesdays, dear? If it is, we can rethink them."
"No, no," she said quickly. "It's not about that."
The fight they had must've really affected him. He gave a relieved sigh. "Oh that's great, I think than we could-"
Her mind was so confused. She wished he would stop talking, so she could clarify what she was thinking.
"Penny?" he asked, softly. She looked up into his expectant face. "What is this all about?"
God...she couldn't talk. Not about this. Not to him. There were a lot of things she couldn't talk to Kevin about; he wouldn't understand...unlike someone else.
She needed time. Time to think. "Kevin, can we rain check tonight? Please?"
He blinked quickly, and nodded just as fast. "Sure, sure. Anything, Penny."
Penelope's heart ached just a bit. Derek was right; he was a great guy. She leaned closer and kissed his cheek. "Thanks, my sweet."
He shrugged and grinned at her. "See you later, then."
As he merrily walked away, Penelope took a deep breath, turned, and headed to back to her lair.
Still sitting on the edge of Penelope's desk, he sighed again and shook his head. That nickname was ridiculous, although he had to give it to Lynch. He'd never heard him call Garcia anything but Penny before; he didn't think that creativity was in the guy.
Derek gave a snort. Whatever he had, it was something special, that was for sure. So special, it sent his baby girl in to a tailspin when she'd thought she'd messed it up.
Cringing internally, Derek gave in to the wash of memories of the last few days. For the entire time of the case, Penelope had treated him like a leper, avoiding him at all costs. She didn't smile, she didn't flirt, and when he had tried to flirt, she shot him down faster than a gunner on an aircraft carrier. It had shocked him, it had worried him...and it had hurt him.
It also had told him where he stood, once he'd put two and two together in his mind.
He chuckled again, but it was a sour sound. When it came to Penelope, he was a mathematician. One girl plus two guys equaled heartache and pain for one of those men...unless that particular man was able to take what he could get and appreciate it for what it was.
Nearly four years ago, he had decided he was okay with that. After watching her, pale and helpless on the hospital bed, he had come to the shocking understanding that he was in love with her. Derek had never been in love before. He hadn't a clue that it was gentle like that. He'd expected lightening to come from the sky and strike him with the one, not like what had happened with him.
Over the course of three years, she'd permeated him with her being. She made the sun rise and the moon glow in his world, just with the sound of her voice. Her smiles and her laughter were like air to him; he couldn't live without them. Even the need to protect and cherish her became something so vital, it was part of him. The words belonged together: Morgan and Garcia, Garcia and Morgan.
"Derek." Penelope stood in the doorway. Her full bottom lip was puckered between her teeth and her hands were clasped in front of her.
Feeling for her nervousness, he adopted a smile. "What are you doing back here? Why aren't you with Lynch?"
"I was thinking," she said, taking a step in and closing the door, "and I have a couple of question."
He could feel his lips twist in to a smirk of sorts. He was thoroughly confused. "Okay, momma. Shoot."
"What about you?"
That was what this was about? She didn't want to leave him alone? He could handle that.
Grinning at her, he said, "Honey, I don't want to hose in on your Tuesday night rendezvous. I know how hard they are to come by, and-"
"No, Hot Stuff," she interrupted, shaking her head. "Not that."
Derek's heart skipped a beat, and he braced himself. "What do you mean?"
As she looked up at him, he knew then what she was asking. It was written on her face so clearly, like a report or a letter. There was such worry, and maybe a tinge of guilt.
"Sweetheart, I'm fine."
"When I asked you about two good men, and what I should do," she continued, "you said, 'You don't pour that extra glass of wine.'" She looked at him, her dark blue eyes peering deeply and unnerving him. "What did you mean by that?"
He looked away. "Just what I said. Drinking, P, isn't going to solve anything and will just confuse things worse."
"Confuse what?"
He looked back at her. "Your feelings. What you were talking about."
"About two great guys?" she said.
Nodding, he answered, "Yeah."
"But I didn't have to worry about any of that, anyway, because I was safe," she added. "Like I always am with you."
He could feel this going somewhere, but he still responded. "Of course."
"You were being noble," she said. "My knight I am so appreciative of."
His stomach turned as she hit the nail on the head, and he didn't bother answering that one. He didn't need to. He could see it in her eyes she knew it was true.
"That leaves me one more important question," she said, stepping closer to him. "What about your feelings, Derek?"
Trying hard not to wince, he lied, "I don't know what you mean."
"When do your feelings count?" she explained fervently.
"Penelope..."
"When do you stop pushing me away?" she continued, tears rising in her eyes, shocking him, making him long to comfort her. "When do you tell me the truth and let me decide who is a great guy for me?"
He stared at her, unable to speak, as unspeakable longing rolled over him
"Oh, God...stop me if I am so off base, but I don't think I am," she whispered, casting her eyes upward, in a quick prayer that left him breathless by it's poignancy.
Lowering her gaze, she stared at him, and said softly as two tears rolled down her face, "When do you get what you want?"
Her chin quivered, her face crumpled, and she burst into tears, covering her face with her hands.
His heart constricted in his chest as he watched her, realizing a great truth. He was a brave man in many ways, but when it came to Penelope, he was a coward. He had been a coward for years, hiding behind his honor and his pride, rather than going after what he truly desired.
Not anymore.
It was time to take a risk; fold 'em or hold 'em...and he knew what he wanted to do.
Stepping closer, he pulled her protesting form into his arms. "Hey," he said softly, trying to peel her hands away from her face. "Hey..."
"Just let me go," she said, muffled through her hands.
"Now," he answered.
"Yes, let me go, now, and-"
"No," he said with a laugh that made her look up at him. "No, honey. I am not letting you go, not now, not ever."
She looked through her fingers at him, cautiously.
She let him peel her fingers away that time and cup her face in his hands. "I meant now, Baby Girl. I am going to get what I want right now. I want you."
"Then why didn't you say so before?" she asked, looking so hurt. "Why did you push me away to another man?"
"Because I am a fool," he answered shortly, wiping her tears away with his thumbs. "Because I thought he was better for you, less scarred, less complicated. I was afraid of losing you, after how spooked you were yesterday."
"Oh, Derek," she cried. "I'm so sorry! I was afraid, too. I'm so, so sorry!"
"Hush, momma; it's okay," he said, reaching his arms around her to hold her tightly. "I got the girl now."
She smiled up at him and looped her arms around him. "That you do."
He kissed the top of her head, like he'd done a million times before. "I love you, Penelope."
"I love you, too," she whispered, and rested her cheek against his chest.
While he held her, Derek thought he could physically feel it: the world righted itself, just as his heart knitted back together.
A second later, he cupped her chin in his hand, raised it, and gave her the softest of kisses. Their first kiss to seal the deal. It was barely a brushing of the lips—there would be time later for much more—but even that brief contact rocked his soul more than any other kiss. It was a mark of possession, deepening her brand on his heart.
She smiled up at him with a bemused expression on her face that said she was affected, too. "Wow..."
He grinned at her with a smile that promised much. "Come on, baby...let's go home."
