Another Auld Lang Syne
This song-fic is based on the Dan Fogelburg classic.
The snow was beginning to fall as Chris made his way to the grocery store on Christmas Eve. He had a few items to pick up, and the store was just a few blocks away from his house.
As he headed to the frozen foods to pick up a tub of Cool Whip, Chris noticed the tall figure standing in front of the standing cooler full of pies. He studied the figure closely, and his eyes lit up in recognition. Chris could recognize the tied-back spill of dark curls anywhere. Quietly, he stole behind the dark haired man and tugged gently on his sleeve.
The dark figure turned, and Chris recognized him immediately. Big dark eyes, round cheeks, a pencil-thin beard and full lips. But that couldn't be said of the dark man as he studied Chris's short, scruffy blonde hair, bright blue eyes and cocky smirk. It took him a little more time for the face to register. But then his eyes flew open wide. "Chris?"
"Matt!" Chris beamed.
"I can't believe it, it's been ages!" Matt went to hug his old lover, forgetting that he was holding a shopping basket. It tipped forward, sending a bag of frozen vegetables, a box of stuffing, and two cans of green beans tumbling to the floor. He glanced down sheepishly and started to laugh. "I'm so sorry, Chris. I'm such a klutz," he giggled as he knelt down to pick up the fallen items.
Chris knelt beside him "Naah, it's cool," he managed before dissolving into laughter himself. By the time he and Matt had picked up the fallen groceries and stood back up, they both had tears in their eyes from laughing so hard. Once he'd regained his composure, Chris asked, "I haven't seen you in nearly ten years. What brings you to this neck of the woods?"
"I'm just picking up a few last minute items for Christmas dinner," said Matt, as he placed a frozen pumpkin pie in his shopping basket. "We've got three more people coming over, and we've got to make sure there's enough food to go around."
Chris nodded, and accompanied Matt to the nearest checkout stand. "Same here. I did most of mine earlier in the day." He ssmirked and held up the tub of whipped topping. "Of course, you can never have too much of this."
Matt chuckled, and the two of them fell silent as the groceries were totaled up and put in bags. They felt lost in embarassment as the light conversation ground to a halt.
Finally, Chris broke the silence. "Can I buy you a drink? Maybe we can sit down and catch up."
"That really sounds great, but it's Christmas Eve, most of the bars are probably closed by now."
"No worries. There's a liquor store next door that's still open. We'll just get a six pack. A small one, because I don't think you'd wanna drive under the influence."
Matt's car was a comfortable black SUV with plenty of room. After putting the groceries in the tailgate (it was cold enough to keep them there for a little while, both he and Chris climbed in. The beer loosened their tongues, and it wasn't long before they both opened up.
A true vintage couple, Matt and Chris had been an item when they were both in high school, and eventually college, when being gay was still considered taboo. They'd flirted with each other at first, and once they realized how perfect they seemed to be with each other, the sparks truly flew. Matt was studying sports medicine and wanted to be a physical therapist. Chris was a musician and wanted to start his own band. They'd had their ups and downs, like every couple, but somehow they made it work all the way through their school years.
Once they'd graduated, however, life got in the way. Distance, careers and time restraints took their toll, and before long, they mutually called it quits. Breakups were never easy, but this one was amicable, which softened the blow. But it didn't hurt any less.
"You're married," Chris said, noticing the gold band on Matt's left ring finger.
Matt took a sip of his beer. "Yeah. Jay and I married three years ago."
"I know it's late, but congratulations."
Matt's smile was genuine. "Thanks."
"Do you love him?"
Matt's expression was contemplative for a moment. "Well...he's a good guy. My dad treats him like he's one of the family. I really want to say I love him, but I can't lie." Chris nodded in understanding. He felt the same way about his own life partner. Chris and Matt had too much history to truly let go of each other. "How about you, Chris?"
"I moved in with Evan last year. He's a really sweet kid. He's a theate major. Loves Japanese animae. Every Wednesday night, he insists on sitting down and watching Naruto on Disney XD."
Matt chuckled. "That's kinda like Jay and the Big Bang Theory." A pause. "You guys married?"
"Not yet. I wanna take my music career as far as I can before I make that commitment. I don't wanna feel like I'm short-changing one or the other, you know?" Chris sipped his beer and studied Matt's expression. "The years have been really kind to you, Matt."
A slow smile spread across Matt's face. "Thanks. They've been really kind to you too, Chris. Your eyes are just as blue as I remember them."
"I appreciate that, thanks," Chris said, bashfully. In those blue depths, Matt wasn't sure if he saw gratitude or doubt, and thought he may have hit a sore spot.
He changed the subject. "So how's the band coming along?"
Chris grinned. "We're finally taking off. We're featured on iTunes. We've got the download of the week.
"No way! That's your band?" Matt laughed in surprise. "You band's fantastic! Now I need to download your CD."
"We're getting lots of airplay on the radio here."
"You must be doing really well for yourself."
"I have to be brutally honest. Playing in front of an audience is the best feeling in the world. But traveling is a real pain in the ass."
"But you keep in touch with everyone, right?"
"I wouldn't know what I'd do if I didn't have Twitter, Skype or text messaging. That's how Evan and I stayed in touch on my last tour."
Matt wondered briefly if that kind of technology would have kept him and Chris together if it was available ten years ago. He ditched the thought, realizing that there was no sense dwelling on the past. He knew that he and Chris had a good thing while it lasted, and that they had separate lives now. The same thoughts ran through Chris's head as well. He had no illusions of getting back together. He was going to take this encounter for what it was - a chance meeting with an old flame, and an opportunity to catch up.
Finally, the beers were empty, and Chris and Matt had run out of things to talk about. A comfortable silence passed between the two of them, and Chris took the time to excuse himself politely, gather his groceries, and throw the empty cans in the trash outside. When he got back, he saw Matt talking on a cell phone. "Hi, Babe. Yeah. I'm on my way home. Just ran into an old friend. We're catching up. Yeah, I got everything we need. I'll be home in a few minutes. Love you, too. 'Bye."
"I guess I better get home, Matt."
"Yeah. It's getting late. It was good seeing you again." An few uncomfortable seconds passed before Matt beckoned Chris back into the SUV. "Wait, before you go..."
Gently, Matt took Chris's chin in his hand and leaned forward to give his old flame a gentle kiss that dared absolutely nothing. He pulled back slightly to meet Chris's blue gaze. "Take care of yourself, Chrissy," he whispered, using the pet name he'd used when they were both together."
"You too, Matty." Chris's voice was soft, but thick with emotion. "See you around."
Grocery bags in hand, Chris got out and watched Matt pull out of the parking lot, and for a moment, he was back in school. It was just Chrissy and Matty together and happy, looking forward to the future before the real world interfered and broke them up. A pain filled his chest as he thought of what could have been, but he pushed it aside, finding himself once again in a snowy parking lot. He knew that he and Matt would probably never see each other again, but each had a special place in his heart for the other.
And as Chris turned to make his way back home, the snow slowly turned into rain. It was almost like the sky was shedding the tears Chris had shed long ago for his lost relationship. The lights of Matt's SUV faded off into the distance, and Chris raised one hand in a goodbye wave before he headed down the street. Evan was waiting for him at home, and he didn't want to keep him waiting any longer.