7 Things I Hate About You Chapter 1: EXCELLENT NEWS and a DEAL!, a naruto fanfic

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.

Summary: AU. "Y-you're one of the most arrogant, conceited, non-caring bastards in the whole world!" "But you still love me." He smirked. "Urgh…" She hated how he could do that. She hated how he could make her feel like this. She hated everything about him but she couldn't help it.

Naruto and the gang are 16 excluding Temari, Kankuro, Tenten, Lee, and Neji who are 17.

Rated: M (for language and later limes)

Chapter 1

EXCITING NEWS and a DEAL?!

PING! YOU'VE GOT MAIL!

A pink-haired girl, who is currently on the net, clicked on an e-mail that had suddenly PING-ed on her laptop.

To: Forehead Girl

From: Your lovely best friend

Subject: EXCITING NEWS!

You will never guess what just happened today! OMG! So do you want to know? Do you, do you? Well, who cares, I'll just tell you anyways. I just heard from one of my best sources that THE SASUKE UCHIHA, and I mean that smexy guy with those beautiful onyx eyes, and *faints* hottest bod ever, has just broken up with his current (and, I'm totally not counting but 6th) girlfriend! Can you believe that? That means he is totally up for grabs!!!!! _

"Pfft, of course that's who Ino-pig would talk about." Sakura scoffed. Her best friend is a total gossiper and was born to do just that.

To: Ino-pig (right back atcha, hah! I'm not forehead girl!)

From: Uninterested

Subject: EXCITING NEWS! (NOT)

Haven't I told you already Ino-P-I-G? I don't want to know about the love life of that and I quote "smexy guy with those beautiful onyx eyes, and *faints* hottest bod ever". And how many times have I told you that, oh yea *light bulb lights up* 15 gazillion times! I AM NOT IN-TER-ES-TED! But about that, I heard about it already from your supposed 'best' source. And Ino-pig, I've got to tell you this once and for all. YOU have no chance with HIM! Understand?

To: Bia**h (who doesn't care about her best friend's feelings)

From: Deeply Hurt

Subject: EXCITING NEWS! (TOTALLY TRUE!)

How can you say that to me Forehead-girl? I feel so hurt! Why can't you just understand that I'm really meant for that totally hot totally breath-taking guy in the whole wide world?! I know you know it too!

To: Obsessed

From: Girl who's known you since Pre-School

Subject: EXCITING NEWS! (How is it even exciting again?)

I undoubtedly know that you are not hurt. And you know what? You sound just like all those fan girls that always go screaming after him trying to get his attention. Here's some advice from a friend who 'cares':

1. Don't go screaming his name like an idiot; it shows that you are annoying and if I were him I would probably go deaf.

2. Stop acting like a fan girl.

3. Stop acting so obsessed.

4. Don't be so bitchy all the time.

5. Woo! I'm on a roll here! Be yourself (although I'm not sure you'll be able to as I imagine you always tend to go all squeaky with your voice and whatnot).

6. Try to attract his attention, not make him try to ignore you.

AND

7. STOP ACTING LIKE A FAN GIRL!!!!!

Really, do follow these advices. I mean I'm a very caring friend you know and like you said I am a bitch but you're wrong about one thing, I do care for my friends.

Well, I'm out, my moms bitching at me telling me to go and wash the dishes.

Ciao!

Sakura logged off of her laptop and hoped beyond hoped that her best friend Ino would really listen to her advices. She didn't want to admit it but she knew that her friend really did like Sasuke.

Sasuke Uchiha, the most popular guy in the whole entire school of Leaf Academy and the richest, is a hottie with a well-built body, beautiful onyx eyes that gleamed of mischief, and the list goes on and on.

Sakura did not like this Uchiha though and she had her reasons.

"SAKURA, YOU BETTER COME DOWN HERE RIGHT NOW BEFORE YOU ARE GROUNDED FOR 2 WEEKS!!!!!!!!!!!" Sakura shook her head wondering why she had to also have her mom's attitude of being very short-tempered and hot-headed.

"COMING! BESIDES I'M GOING BACK TO SCHOOL IN TWO DAYS ANYWAYS!" She shouted back just as loud as she walked down the stairs to the kitchen.

It was true though. Sakura goes to a school call Leaf Academy (that's two hours away from her home) with dorms for the students to stay in for the school year. She only got to go home on holidays (more like when her parents weren't busy) or else she would stay at the apartment that her parents had set up 20 minutes away from her school. Her parents barely had time to spend with her so she was used to having the house to herself but when they were home…let's just say that chaos ensues.

When Sakura entered the beautiful kitchen that was merely used for decoration, she first noticed her mom glaring at her in an 'oh no you didn't just say that' look on her face. Sakura sighed to herself. What more could happen?

"Now then Sakura honey," her father suddenly spoke. Sakura turned to face the apologetic look on his face. "Your mother and I will be going to on a 2-week vacation to Hawaii."

Sakura stared at him with no show of the surprise and hurt that she was feeling inside. "So?"

She suddenly felt lightning bolts come crashing her way from the direction that her mother was standing. "Is that all you can say? I have TAUGHT you better!"

Sakura turned to her mother on, "What do you EXPECT me to say? Oh, yea, Mom, Dad, go have a fantastic time on this trip while I'm stuck at SCHOOL MEETING YOUR EXPECTATIONS!" her voice grew an octave louder at each word she spoke as her face turned red from anger.

Her mother's face was turning the same color and as she was just about to explode her cell phone rang. She turned to her phone and soon answered in a sweet fake voice. "Hello, oh, Takashi-san, yes, have the plane ready by---"

Sakura's face settled a little but she was still very pissed off. Her parents always planned everything without consenting it from her first. Maturely, she walked away from her parents to her room without even bothering to do the dishes.

"I can't believe that they have the nerve to do that. What kind of parents are they?" She started muttering to herself.

She then went to lie down on her bed ranting on and on in her head until she fell asleep.

Waking up the next morning, she noticed that it was bright and early: 6:00 A.M. "Damn, I'm waking up so early today. Well that's a good thing since Mom won't bother me yet." Sakura got up and went to get ready for the day. School was starting the next day so she needed to get some of her stuff ready (she had already packed all her stuff a couple of days ago).

Deciding against that she decided to check her mail instead and surely enough, Ino had once again e-mailed her.

To: My best friend ever!

From: Deeply Grateful Best Friend

Subject: EXCITING NEWS!

*Stares suspiciously* Hmm… well then since you put it at that (plus those very valuable advices) I guess I should trust that you would do what's best for me! =D I shall take your advice. Although you did already said the last one before. You know, in number 2. Oh and I've been wondering, what are your classes! I've wanted to know since like one day ago. Tell me, TELL ME! Oh and this is my class schedule:

1. Homeroom Kakashi (once again, what a drab huh?) 112

2. Gym (can you believe it?! Second hour!) Gai Gym

3. Chemistry Orochimaru (he's freaky!) 117

4. Culinary Arts Kurenai (awesome teacher) 232

5. Algebra ll Anko (surprise surprise) 202

6. English Jiraiya (a perv!) 129

7. History Asuma (he smokes too much!) 224

Tell me what yours is!!!! Tell me soon!!!!

To: Gossip girl

From: Calm and collected, calm and collected

Subject: EXCITING NEWS! (Why are we still on this topic?)

Well, I'm very glad that you're taking my advice. And I put it down twice because I was emphasizing the fact that fan girls are very annoying even if they're not chasing after you, they make a lot of noise. It totally makes my day! Anyways, I'll tell you the classes I have with you. I have homeroom and gym with you and yes it is a pain in the ass that gym has to be second period. So what is your scoop on today? Anything exciting happen?

To: "Calm and collected, calm and collected"

From: Confuzzled

Subject: EXCITING NEWS

We are still on this topic because school is starting tomorrow and I'll get to see that smexy Sasuke once again! Yes, I'm glad that I have homeroom and gym with you! And YES I do have a SCOOP no actually I have SCOOPS!!!!

Scoops:

Neji, you know that guy with the brown hair and really awesome violet white eyes, is finally dating Tenten. Yes, Tenten! Can you believe it? She's soooo lucky and she's been crushing on him since the fifth grade. Lucky, lucky, her.

We have a new principal. It seems that Sarutobi-sensei thought he was too old (and seriously I think he has too much energy for an old guy) and retired. I don't know who the principal is yet but I know that the principal is a she.

Dorms have been changed to instead of having guys on a separate floor from girls; they are instead in rooms next to the girls. YAY!! I hope Sasuke is in a room next to mine!

I think that Hinata-chan, yes, that Hinata-chan has a crush on a certain best friend of Sasuke's!

Okay, this isn't true yet, but I'm going to soon be the next girlfriend of Sasuke Uchiha. I'm totally following your advice girl! When have any of your advices gone awry, right?

Well, that's the entire scoop for the day. I hope to see you soon!! Like very soon! I can't wait for tomorrow!

"Oi, Teme, we're going to be roommates again!" a bouncy blondie by the name of Naruto Uzumaki cheerfully talked to a brooding guy who had his hands in his pockets as they were walking down the streets of Konoha.

"Hn," he answered reluctantly.

"Is it really possible, is the Sasuke Uchiha actually depressed that he broke up with his 6th and I mean 6th girlfriend?!" Naruto gasped in mock disbelief.

"Shut up, Dobe, and I'm actually surprised that you can count."

"Hey, I'm not that dumb. But seriously are you really depressed."

Sasuke gave his infamous glare that could make any guy wet his pants (the key word 'guy'). "Does it look like I give a crap that I broke up with her? She was boring after a while and I got tired so I broke up with her."

"But, man," Naruto tried to shake away the terror that his body instinctively felt, as he tried not to pee in his pants, "she was really hot. How can you do that?"

"Do what?"

"You KNOW, get all the hot girls! You've got to teach me!" Naruto practically bounced off his feet as he imagined himself with the hottest girls in the school.

Sasuke smirked. "I have my ways."

"Aw, come on, we're best friends Teme, you should tell me!" Naruto practically whined.

Sasuke just ignored Naruto as he walked on. "See ya, Dobe. I've got to get home before my dad starts bitching at me again."

"Mm," Naruto puffed out in disappointment as he walked the opposite way from where Sasuke was going. "Well, I'LL JUST E-MAIL YOU LATER AND YOU BETTER TELL ME!!!!" he shouted out to Sasuke, who was barely paying attention.

True to his word, when Sasuke went on his laptop the first thing that popped up was an e-mail from the annoying dobe, Naruto.

To: Teme

From: The Awesome Naruto

Subject: TELL ME, TELL ME!!! (I won't stop bothering you about it!)

Hey, Teme, you have to tell me how you make the girls all fall for you so much! And if you don't tell me, I'll keep bothering you even when we're dead and in a coffin. I'll become a zombie and shake you awake so that I can bother you even more.

(Sasuke sweat drops at this)

Anyways, I've heard that this year the dorm room setups will be different. They say that we'll be having girls in rooms next to us! Whoopee! But I'm warning you, Teme, don't you go stealing all the girls, although I know that you will, because you always do! That's why I hate you!

To: Dobe

From: Sasuke

Subject: TELL ME, TELL ME

I have no advice for you. And I take no joy in having girls always stalking me.

To: Guy who gives me two sentences

From: Guy who's about to run over and smack your head

Subject: TELL ME, TELL ME

What TWO sentences only?! Teme! After I write so much to you, you only give me TWO damn sentences!!! Why the hell do you have to treat me like this!? I'm your best friend for Christ's sakes! Didn't you get the hint when I said I WON'T STOP BOTHERING YOU?!

To: Hn

From: Sasuke

Subject: TELL ME, TELL ME

You use too much exclamation points.

To: TEME

From: Naruto, who is going to kick your ass!!

Subject: TELL ME, TELL ME

TEME!!!!!!!!! Who the fuck cares if I use exclamation point?!!!!!!!! I can use as much as I want!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

How about we make a deal? You know a bet.

To: Dobe

From: Sasuke

Subject: TELL ME, TELL ME

What kind of deal?

To: Sasuke-teme

From: Naruto, hah I knew it!

Subject: TELL ME, TELL ME

Hah! I knew you would be interested! Of course, this is going to be a very good deal. Okay, so here goes.

How do you think about this kind of deal?

I can get you a girl that will help you fend off all those damn fan girls of yours plus the fact that you'll fall in love with her AND stay with her until the end of the school year. That's part of my deal.

Now the part of your deal is that if that does happen, then you get to teach me how to get all the girls!

Deal?

To: Naruto, who is a dobe

From: Sasuke

Subject: TELL ME, TELL ME

Deal (the falling in love part won't work), but it starts tomorrow.

To: Sasuke

From: Naruto, very happy

Subject: TELL ME, TELL ME

It's a deal then (and I do guarantee that you will fall in love, my intuitions do not fail me!) Yes, it starts tomorrow! The sooner the better!!!!

What do you guys think about that? Guess who the lucky winner of the bet is!! Could it be Ino? *gasp* or could it be…?

Next Chapter: Leaf Academy and Screaming Fan Girls (oh boy)