A/N: I haven't really done much storytelling from Deeks' point of view. Dunno why, guess I'm just more in-tune with Kensi than Deeks. No matter, I'm venturing out of my comfort zone now. This story was inspired by me making a poster out of boredom. The tone of this is different than my usual . . . but oh well, it's short and spicy haha. It's set after 3x10, The Debt. Enjoy!
Deeks is starting to doubt his judgment.
It's been a trying day, to say the least, and one he's been dreading ever since Hetty pulled him aside last week and told him that Clarence Fisk had a mole in the LAPD. He knew it could shatter just about a year of progress made in his, well, his thing with his gorgeous ninja assassin of a partner Kensi Blye.
But that's not why he's doubting his judgment at the moment.
Kensi turns her head to look at his target. "Gonna shoot any time soon, Deeks?" she asks.
Yeah, taking his partner to the shooting range was definitely a bad, bad idea. It had seemed like a good one before, he thought she could blow off a little steam and then they could talk. But apparently she had a lot more steam than he previously suspected. She was like one of those old-fashioned teapots- almost bursting with heat.
He shouldn't be thinking that way.
Not when he's watching Kensi shoot at targets. Because damn, she looks really hot when she's angry and shooting a gun.
Like he said, he shouldn't be thinking that way. In hindsight, it sounds kind of messed up.
He raises his gun and shoots at the target, hitting it in the head and then the shoulder. He looks over at Kensi, who had been watching. He winks at her, hoping to see that cute little grin he loves blossom on her face. Not today. Yeah, today he'll be lucky if he makes it out of here alive.
Bang!
He wishes he could see her eyes. They always give what she feels away.
"This isn't easy for me either."
"I have something to say. And I think that if I don't say it now I probably never will. So . . . just give me the chance."
What was she going to say?
He'll admit it, ever since he started working with this panther-ninja0lady, he's been harboring a pretty major crush on her that effects everything he says or does around her. In the beginning, he assumed it was only natural and it would just fade away . . . the attraction, no, but the admiration and the awe . . . it never did. He tried pushing the feelings down, but when she was kidnaped by those Russian bastards . . . he knew he was done for. The all-consuming guilt wasn't normal. The desire to hug and kiss everything away when he saw her face illuminated by the red glow of the laser beams wasn't normal.
He'd sworn off of female partners. In his experience, it only leads to compromised situations and bad endings. But something about Kensi is different. With her . . . he actually feels as if happily ever after can happen, victory is possible.
He's desperate to know what he had to prevent her from saying. Kensi's like a wall, she never lets anyone in or or gives anything out. Her emotions are a constant mystery, he's only able to really read her when he's looking in her eyes.
And he doesn't know if she wants him to remember what he saw in her eyes.
"Eyes off, Deeks. Unless you're still trying to figure out if I'm female?"
He averts his gaze quickly, reddening. He hadn't realized he'd been staring at her the whole time. Was he obvious? She can be pretty good at reading him as well.
"I-I was, um-" he stammers before collecting himself. "I'm pretty sure you're female, Kens." She rolls her eyes at him.
"Good observation, Detective."
Yeah, he's not helping himself here. She shoots again, and he decides to join her, putting two rounds in the target's stomach.
"So," Kensi asks as she shoots the target's neck, "What were you staring at?"
"You really want to know?" Deeks quips.
Yeah, she's not having it today. "Deeks."
"Nothing!" he answers finally, "I was thinking!" She studies him, dark eyes narrowed. "Seriously, Kens, I wasn't staring at your . . . assets."
"My assets?"
"Don't make me elaborate."
"Trust me, I won't!" Deeks pointedly looks from her gun back to her. "You're armed, Princess." She smirks maliciously at him and then continues shooting at the target. "Kensi . . ." She keeps shooting, ignoring him. "Kensi!" he yells.
"What?" she asks just as loudly, annoyed.
"Are you mad at me?" he asks, setting his gun down and approaching her. She slams her gun down and whirls around to face him, hands settling on her hips. Deeks can't help but think that she does in fact look adorable while homicidally angry. She does this little pout thing that-
"I'm not mad," she grits out, glancing up and down his body. Oh, is he standing too close? Well, too late to back down (or up) now. In fact, he inches closer to her, just to push her buttons a little bit. He notices the way her breath catches, and it urges him to move even closer, until only mere inches separate their bodies.
"Well then are you angry?" he whispers. Kensi opens her mouth to speak but no words come out. He loves it when he does that to her. She instead turns around, slapping him in the face with her ponytail. He can't help but chuckle, and it only ticks Kensi off more. He doesn't know whether to enjoy her annoyance with him or try and eliminate it.
"I suggest you back up," she says stiffly, aiming at the target. He does so, and she shoots, hitting her target in the heart. He arches an eyebrow.
"Kens, I-"
"Shut up, Deeks."
"No really Kensi, I wanted to- I wanted to apologize. I didn't want to lie to you or hurt you-"
"I'm not hurt," she says. She sucks at lying, he doesn't know how she manages to do undercover ops. Maybe it's because she only sucks at things that are real. Things she can't file away and forget about. She puts her gun down again and turns to face him. He gives her a little space this time, not wanting to push her away.
"Fine then," he says, gritting his teeth to keep from calling her out on her lie. She can tell he sees through her because she breaks eye contact and turns around, grabbing her gun and aiming at the target again. She begins shooting and Deeks yells over the sound of gunfire. "But are you angry?"
"Am I what?" Kensi yells, shooting.
"ANGRY!" She stops her shooting and looks over at him in surprise, a smirk on her lips. Deeks offers a small smile. He hadn't realized how loud he was screaming.
"Why should it matter?" she asks, her voice too calm to be honest. She switches to a fresh target.
"Because I want to know the right way to say sorry, and-"
"Don't say you're sorry," Kensi interjects, dark eyes stormy. "You were just doing your job. I can't fault you for that." Her voice is too stiff and she's turned back to face the targets. Deeks steps closer and reaches out, putting a hand on her shoulder.
"But you do anyways," he says quietly. She shrugs his hand off and fires just one shot, saying nothing before holstering her gun and turning to face him, her face ravenous, and not in the way Deeks imagines it to be late at night . . .
He needs to stop thinking like this when Kensi's about to shoot him where he stands.
"We need to talk," he says softly, his arm moving unconsciously to rest on her waist. He notices her uneven grinning and holds back a self-satisfied smirk. "Come get a drink with me?" She regards him quietly, eyes narrowed and conflicted. He can see she's debating whether to do what she wants or to 'save face' and turn him down.
"I told you I have plans," she says finally, arching an eyebrow. Testing him.
"Every day for the rest of your life can begin tomorrow," he says, oozing as much charm as he can muster into the words. She's fighting not to let it affect her, but he can see her resistance crumbling. To top it off he steps closer and breathes the last word. "Please?"
"Separate cars," she mutters with a huff, squirming away from him and walking out of the range. Deeks glances over at her target from the first time and winces.
She shot it right in the groin.
She arrives at the bar before him, and is sitting there with her hair let down, falling in loose waves over her back. Her face glows in the soft light coming from a nearby hanging light, and she's drinking beer straight from the bottle. Her jacket rests on the stool next to her, and a beer sits there as well. He pushes back a grin. She saved his seat.
"Want your jacket back?" he asks, picking it up off the stool and holding it out to her.
"Who said that seat was for you?" she asks, her face cold but her eyes on fire.
He just smirks, unfazed. Kensi's glares stopped scaring him long ago. "It is, though, isn't it?" he asks cheekily, winking at her. She rolls her eyes and snatches her jacket back from him. "I'll take that as a yes."
"Risky," she murmurs.
"How so?"
"If that seat isn't for you I might kick your ass out of here."
"But it is."
"...yes." She turns away from him, facing the bar, and looking up at the television. He can tell she isn't exactly watching; her eyes drift over to him every few moments before looking away quickly. She's trying to be sly about it but Kensi's usually not very subtle outside of undercover work.
He can't help but notice how beautiful she looks right now. It sounds weird, but she's really hot when she tries to mask her emotions. He can only say that because he knows her well enough to see what's underneath her mask.
"Was it easy?" she finally asks, breaking the tense silence that has fallen between them. She keeps her gaze resolutely on the television screen. Deeks takes a swig of his beer and sets it down, leaning over closer to her. She doesn't shift away, but he can see how his closeness is affecting her.
"Was what easy?"
"Lying to me," she clarifies stiffly, finally turning to face him, her dark eyes stormy, conveying what she won't because she wants to save face. "Using my emotions against me, leaving me in the dark, making me think you could go to jail . . . was it easy for you?"
"Kens-"
"And don't say you didn't think I would be hurt Deeks, you knew I would."
"Kens-"
"In fact, I think you counted on it. You didn't just stab me in the back, you twisted the knife."
"Kens, can I speak now?" he finally interjects, pushing her beer away from her slightly. He hadn't realized how betrayed she really felt. "Kensi, lying to you was the hardest thing I've ever had to do on the job. You're-you're not just my partner. You're my best friend." Her eyes widen, and he suddenly realizes how big what he just said is. They've denied having a thing (up until today) and he's just flat-out admitted they have more than a partnership.
"Some best friend you are," Kensi mutters sullenly.
"I didn't want to do it," he insists, leaning closer, "I tried to find another way to keep you in the loop, I asked Hetty-"
"But in the end, you still lied," Kensi murmurs, "You called yourself-I couldn't comfort you Deeks. I hadn't felt so useless since . . ." she trails off, and Deeks' heart falls in his chest as he realizes what she was about to say. Since Jack.
"I'm sorry," he whispers brokenly, wanting to reach out and take her hand, but knowing she'd never allow it. She looks away from him then, conflicted again.
He doesn't know why she does it. Fights anything beyond their banter, build up her walls so high when she knows he can find a way through them anyways. Sets boundaries even she crosses often. Wants him to affirm their 'thing' when she's now giving him the silent treatment. And still, despite how infuriating and intense and serious and annoying she can be sometimes, he loves her still.
It hits him then, right in the chest as he watches her fingers dance angrily on the bar and her eyes dart around, trying to find anything but him to focus on.
He's in love with her.
Marty Deeks is head over heels in love with Kensi Blye.
If he's being honest with himself, this shouldn't come as much of a surprise. In the year in which he has been her partner, he's developed a bond with her that he's never had with anyone before. He's never been so enamored with . . . anyone before. He's never felt so protective of someone who doesn't need it, so in awe of someone he makes fun of constantly . . . he's never tried to imagine his life without someone and come up blank.
It also hits him that he could not have picked a worse time to come to this realization, as her furious eyes have sought him out again and probably caught the dreamy expression on his face.
"You drink too much?" she asks warily, "One beer too hot for you to handle?"
"No, but you might be." The quip is out of his mouth before he can stop himself, and he knows he had it coming when she pokes him hard in the side.
She's remembered that she's angry again. "I know how she felt-feels."
"Huh?" It's a stupid reply, and he knows it's really dumb when her mouth quirks into a small smile. Smooth, Deeks, smooth.
"Nicole."
Oh. Oh.
"Kens, you're-"
"I know, I'm not her. But you know what? Right now, we're not really that different. She's just another girl whose emotions got caught up in one of your stupid ops-"
"Kens-"
"And the only difference is that she managed to hear the truth from you. How long were you planning to keep me in the dark, exactly?" She's really on the offensive now, and Deeks' epiphany is still too fresh in his mind to allow him to come up with a proper response. "Gonna watch me wither away until you waltzed back in like nothing happened?"
"I knew you wouldn't wither," Deeks murmurs.
"The hell you did!" Her voice has risen a bit, and she quiets down after receiving a scathing look from the bartender. "Deeks, we're partners. You can't just leave me like that, okay?"
"I understand, Kens, but-"
"No, I don't think you do!"
"Kens, you're not Nicole!" He cuts her off as her mouth opens to go on another rant. "You want to know the difference between you two? Everything I feel for you on the inside is completely real. You actually know me Kens, better than she ever could have hoped to. We're partners. We're real. You're not, and will never be, Nicole."
"So what is it you feel, then?" she asks challengingly. Jeez, he was right when he described her as a bull, always charging into things. First asking him if there really is a thing in the car, and now asking him he feels.
"Kens-"
"Come on, Deeks, shouldn't be that hard," she spits angrily. God,, she makes herself hard to love sometimes.
"I . . . I don't know."
"You said we could talk about it over drinks. Here's your chance."
"Kensi, I-"
"So is there a thing?" She's wasting no time today. Her beer is pushed aside and she's leaning towards him again, eyes fiery. "And if there is, what is it?"
"Do you know?" he challenges.
"Thought I did until today," she replies hotly. He can see her berating herself for such an exposing comment. "So come on Deeks, what is our thing?"
"I don't know," he says again, although it's a lie. He knows. He loves her, and he'd love to just lean over and kiss her right now. That's their thing. But if he expects to see daylight again he probably shouldn't tell her now.
"Well you should know next time you decide to stab me in the back," Kensi says hotly, standing up and putting on her jacket. "Don't play with fire unless you're ready to be burned." With that cryptic statement, she walks away, leaving him alone with a bill to pay. He gives the cash to the bartender and takes a deep breath, staring at the now vacant stool she had occupied moments earlier.
Suddenly, his course of action is as clear as day. Kensi never told him to stay- she practically challenged him to go after her. She wants him to go after her, make her see that he's sorry. She's given him a chance to make things okay. Well, she doesn't give him loopholes often, so he's certainly going to take it.
He stands up and exits the bar, walking briskly, his mind set. Kensi's leaning against her car, arms crossed. So she was expecting him. Well then, he can't let her down, can he?
Deeks couldn't be more deliberate as he takes her face in his hands and pulls it towards his, finally claiming her lips in a fierce kiss. It's not short and sweet- nothing about them tonight has been. It's hot and intense, their lips dancing in more of a tango than a waltz. His hands move down to wrap around her waist and he pulls her closer, relishing in the soft yet undeniable gasp that escapes from her.
"Deeks-" she whispers against his lips, and honestly, he's had enough of her ranting tonight, so he silences her with another kiss.
He's playing with fire right now, because the air between them is far hotter than any spark could ever be. The way she's pulling him closer isn't just electric, and the way her soft lips feel as they battle his is far beyond sizzling. Everything that has been simmering under the surface during their partnership is out in the open, exposed in this endless kiss.
When he finally pulls back, she keeps her eyes shut tight, and her grip doesn't let up. He rests his forehead against hers, saying nothing, just enjoying the sensation of their breaths mingling in the crackling air between them.
"This didn't happen, did it?" he whispers. Kensi keeps her eyes closed, apparently not recovered yet. He chooses to hold off relishing in that until later, if she lets him live.
He expects her to punch him or walk away without a word. He expects her to never bring it up again and give him the silent treatment tomorrow.
What he does not expect is her cryptic reply. "Not yet." And with that she gently shoves him back and opens her car door, sliding in. She rolls down her window to give him one last grin. "See you tomorrow, partner." She laughs at the shocked expression he's wearing and then drives off, leaving him standing alone in the parking lot, chest sparking with hope.
Oh yeah, Deeks thinks, he is definitely playing with fire.
And he's quickly realizing that he likes the way it burns.
Definitely not fluffy, huh? XD Review, please! Hope you enjoyed!
-Gab