Hell Hath Other Fury

"What do you mean the merger is incomplete?"

"I...I do not know how to explain it, my lord. Practically all of Earthrealm is now part of Outworld, bar a single continent. One located in its south-eastern hemisphere, its coordinates-..."

"I don't want a description, I want it as part of my domain!"

Shao Khan realized he should have known it was all too good to be true, that even the most brilliant of plans had some hitches in them. It was just...everything had been going so well up to the point where the Outworlder brought him bad news. After generations of having final victory and the right to invade Earthrealm snatched away from him in Mortal Kombat, he'd finally found a way to overcome all that. Led by Tsang Tsung, his Shadow Priests had resurrected Queen Sindel, only performing the resurrection in his desired realm of conquest rather than his seat of power. Crossing over dimensions to claim her, Khan's plan had succeeded perfectly-in an instant, Earthrealm had become his, billions of human souls had been snuffed out like the pale flames they were and it was only a matter of time before his extermination squads brought him Raiden's head on a pike. Oh, and his 'champions.' That would be satisfying too.

In essence, what he'd failed to do in millennia had been accomplished in a few hours. And if it wasn't for one of Earthrealm's continents staying behind, it would have been complete.

"This continent..." the emperor began slowly, deciding that it would be better to get information from the messenger rather than sending him to a gladiatorial pit. "Tell me about it. How has it escaped the merging?"

"Well, my lord, from what we understand, the continent...or country, it seems to be both, is called Australia. And its resistance to your rule stems from its Classification Board."

...what the hell?

The name was unfamiliar, but Khan could live with that. He'd let Goro get to know Earthrealm's warriors over the aeons and if the shokan had picked up any human's point of origin in one of his four hands, he'd never passed it onto his master. But a "classification board?" What was that? And how in the name of all Creation should that make a difference?

"I...don't know," the messenger stammered in answer to such a question. "Something about our invasion not meeting their standards or something."

Khan lay back in his throne, flexing his fist and wondering how to break the neck of this board with it. Kano had briefed his army on Earthrealm's weapons, but he hadn't mentioned anything on this scale. A truth he'd omitted? Or was the worm truly ignorant of this continent and its strange resistance to what should have been an inevitable merging of realms.

"I suppose we could just seize it by force..." Khan murmured, disturbed by the fact that he was giving a suggestion rather than an order. "After all-..."

"Customs says they won't grant us entry."

"I don't care what they say!" the emperor roared, slamming down the fist he'd previously thought of doing some neck breaking with while hoping that he wouldn't have to admit he didn't have a clue as to what "customs" was in the non-cultural sense. "I want this continent-..."

"Country."

"Whatever! The point is, that-..."

"No, my lord, you're missing the point."

One could have heard a pin drop, even with Khan's heavy breathing. He couldn't believe it-one moment this man had been trembling in fear of losing his life, the next he was lecturing the destined ruler of all the realms. If it wasn't for this continent's defiance taking up most of his mind, he'd rip this wretch's skull from his spine and not even declare a fatality.

Wait...wasn't there something called the ESRB awhile ago that lodged a similar complaint about that?

Whatever. It had been Sub-Zero's problem at the time.

"I have been in contact with our shadow priests," the man announced, demonstrating telepathy at its finest. "And I know now why we can't invade, why this...Australia is immune to our presence."

"And why...is that?"

"Because it doesn't have an R-eighteen rating."

"...I see."

Actually, Khan didn't see at all. But somehow, it didn't matter.

If this country/continent was being 'protected' this way, then the idiots 'defending' it probably weren't worth his time anyway.

A/N

Hopefully apparent, but I'll specify regardless that this is effectively a 'vent my spleen' oneshot. In this case, the banning of sale or importing of Mortal Kombat in Australia due to the lack of a R-18 game rating and the Classification Board's 'nanny mindset.' Admittedly the game wasn't on my 'to get' list, but the idea that customs is on lookout for imports of the game (because, you know, it's not as if they need to look out for drugs or anything like that) and that we're pretty much the only country in the Western world without an R-18 rating, despite over 90% of the nation supporting such a rating...ugh. 'Nuff said.