Ron the Cow
The End
One day it happened that Ron was a cow. There are many stories of how he got to be this cow, and I cannot tell you which one is the true. What I can tell you is, that Ron was a very happy cow and for the rest of his life he ate grass and produced milk (As he was a heifer). One day he had become too old, and his owners wanted his meat, and they slaughtered him.
He was sold, and Harry unknowingly bought him and ate him together with Ginny, Hermione, Neville and Hannah. Thereby they became cannibals. George and Luna did not eat him, because they could feel it was wrong, but the others wouldn't listen.
The truth came to the surface when Ron came back as a cow-ghost and hunted the cannibals, until Luna and George became tired of it all, and cursed Hermione, Harry, Ginny, Neville and Hannah to become cows, just as Ron had been. Then Ron could leave the living world in peace, and continue on to becoming Americas Next Top Model. Or maybe he just continued on to becoming the happiest dead cow in the world. The End.
Now we must jump to all the beginnings.
Beginning Number 1: The First Story of How Ron Became a Cow
Hermione, Harry and Ron wanted to become animagus's. They trained, and trained, and trained, and one day they succeeded. Hermione became a pig, Harry became a zebra and Ron became a cow. Ron was so happy to be a cow that he decided to be so for the rest of his life. Hermione and Harry tried to convince him otherwise, but Ron told them this:
"Muuhh!"
And so, there was no more to discuss.
Beginning Number 2: The Second Story of How Ron Became a Cow
Ron and Hermione as living happily with their 2 kids, but then the terrible thing happened: Ron cheated on Hermione with that cow Pansy Parkinson. Hermione decided that if Ron wanted to be with someone like her, he should be up to her standards. So she cursed him, and he had to live the rest of his life like a cow. Pansy Parkinson eventually left him, when she discovered that cows had no money.
Then Ron found love with a Crumple-Horned Snorkack, because they actually existed, but it was just only cows that could see them. They lived happily until (See the end/which is actually the beginning of this story - But it's still the end).
Beginning Number 3: The Third Story of How Ron Became a Cow
Luna and Ron fell in love, and decided to spend the rest of their lives as a goat and a cow. It was goat-some. Hermione thought 'What the Duck?'
There are many more stories and rumors of how Ron became a cow, but these are the most accepted. However, Rita Skeeter wrote a book with a forth version of the advents.
Ronald Weasley the Cow; The True Story
By Rita Skeeter
For years people have not known the truth of what happened when Ron Weasley became a cow. Now I, Rita Skeeter – the author behind 'The Life and Lies of Albus Dumbledore' – Have uncovered the truth. In reality it was all the giant Squid's fault. Read to know the full story… You know you want to!
The Middle: The Only Middle Story
In between all of this, Ron ate grass and muhed. Then he ran over the field, his hooves hitting the ground in a galloping rythme. The sun was going down, and someone was singing opera. Then Ron muhed again, and meanwhile the grass he had eaten was going through his 4 stomachs. Life could only really be lived when you were a cow.