I'm hard at work with the next chapter for WYSLMT and schoolwork (that NEVER ends), but this idea popped into my mind while I was doing the dishes after my less than decent dinner, a good cook I am not. Angel and Jerry tease Bobby and Jack about not being able to get laid, so what do they do? They go looking for some girls to pick up of course! I know I know, we all would have jumped at the chance, but for some reason this is proving to be harder than they expected. I don't own four brothers.
A loud smacking noise followed by a giggle that belonged to Sofi made Jack turn his head from the TV to look at the couple entering the living room. Angel sat down in the chair next to the couch and pulled a still giggling Sofi down in his lap. Jack watched as his brothers hand slowly trailed up Sofi's stomach and came to a rest at her chest. He cleared his throat dramatically but they didn't notice, to absorbed in their little bubble of lust. Angel's other hand slid up her leg and Jack gagged. He quickly threw one of the cushions at them and watched with satiesfaction as it hit Angel straight in the face. He was really good at that. Practice makes perfect as they say.
"What the..!" Angel started, pushing the pillow to the floor.
"Do you mind?" Jack interrupted, gesturing to them, and then at the TV.
Angel grinned and shrugged, jumping at the chance to tease his youngest brother a little. "No". He let out a chuckle at the look on Jack's face before he turned back to Sofi, kissing her softly.
Jack rolled his eyes.
"Well I do, so quit it" Bobby smacked Angel in the back of his head, causing Sofi to curse in spanish while Angel rubbed his head.
"What the fuck Bobby"
"Take that shit somewhere else, I'm trying to drink and the fairy can't afford to toss his dinner and lose whatever few pounds he's gained".
"Fuck you" Jack mumbled and turned back to the TV, groaning as he realized that "Family Guy" was now over and "How I met your mother" had taken it's place.
"Not today sweetheart" Bobby shot back, sitting down on the couch after shooting a suspicious look at Angel's hand, now resting on Sofi's stomach. "Why are you still here? I thought you two finished half an hour ago, by the way, nice vocals Loca but next time, please try to keep it down, we don't want any cops here thinking someone is getting murdered".
"Fuck you Bobby! I'll..."
"Bobby! Don't talk to her like that!" Angel glared and Bobby raised his hands in a show of surrender.
"Well don't fucking make her scream like a freaking banshee then! I'll have nightmares for weeks"
Jack hummed in agreement without taking his eyes from the TV. He felt the burn of Sofi's gaze on the side of his face and shivered. A pissed of Sofi was equal to a pissed of rattle snake – fast, determined and deadly.
"What the fuck are you staring at him for? What, one brother not enough for you?" Bobby shot at her.
Sofi shrieked and Jack's eyes widened to the size of wheels as she flew from Angel's lap straight at Bobby. He gripped his brothers arm tightly and pushed them both of the couch and down to the floor, making Sofi land on the couch with a terrifying growl.
"What the fuck is your problem man?" Angel growled at Bobby who was sitting on the floor laughing his ass off with Jack by his side clutching the remote like it was a weapon.
Angel grabbed a hold of Sofi as she lunged again "Baby I'll handle this, you just go home, I'll handle it" He dragged her towards the door, his promises of new clothes and her threats echoing through the house. He gave her his car keys and promised her to take it until the next day. The screech of tires made him wince and he bid his car a sad farewell before striding back to the livingroom. Before Bobby had a chance to react Angel landed on him. Jack scrambled out of the way as the table turned and glasses fell.
"Fuck!"
"What the hell are ya'll doing now?"
Jack looked up and saw Jerrry standing there. He shrugged and got to his feet and prepared to help Jer seperate his brothers, something one should never try to do in this household. He jumped on Angel's back as Jer grabbed a hold of Bobby's arms with little success.
Angel swung around and managed to throw Jack off, he landed on the couch with and 'ouf' escaping him. Bobby pushed Jerry aside and they were about to start again when Jack jumped from the couch and landed in the middle. "Stop!"
They all froze, chests heaving and eyes glaring. Slowly Bobby and Angel relaxed. "Idiot" Bobby muttered.
"Dick" Angel shot back.
"Stupid ass punks" Jerry added his two cents.
"You can't say stuff like that man, you know it makes her angry" Angel defended his girl.
"I KNOW, that's why I say it" Bobby shot back.
"Asshole, and now my car..." Angel trailed of sadly.
Jack winced. He'd had the unpleasure of riding with Sofi home from the store once. She made Bobby look like an little old lady behind the wheel in comparision.
"Well maybe you shouldn't date a psychopath then huh Ang?"
"Shut up, you can't even get threet feet within a girl before she flees screaming"
"Says who?" Bobby laughed.
"I just did. And Stacy"
"Oh please. That girls just pissed cause I want nothing to do with her sorry ass"
"That's not what I heard" Angel sing songed.
Jack sighed and turned the table the right side up. He had a bad feeling about this.
"He kind of has a point" Jerry laughed lightly.
"What the fuck do you mean?" Now Bobby wasn't laughing anymore.
"Well..." Jerry trailed off.
"What he means is that you haven't gotten laid in forever, which explains your dick mood" Angel cut in.
"And how the fuck would you know? You following me or something? Cause that's sick Angel, real sick"
"You're my brother. I know" Angel stated calmly. "And you're always on me and Jer about our girls, I think you're jealous".
Bobby laughed. And laughed. And laughed. When he finally finished Angel and Jerry were glaring at him. "Well that's just about the stupidest thing I've ever heard".
"Is it?" Jerry dared him
"Of course it fucking is!" Bobby snapped, his good mood gone.
"It is kind of stupid" Jack agreed.
"What about you?" Angel shot at him.
Jack looked up. Shit. Having defended his oldest brother had of course made him a potential target for the other two. "What about me?"
"When was the last time you got laid?" Jerry clarified.
Jack frowned. He didn't actually remember, but then that sort of thing had never been very important to him.
"What the fuck is this? An intervention?" Bobby snapped.
Angel and Jerry exchanged a smug look. "I think you two are jealous, cause we have girls, and you two can't even get laid"
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Jack chanted after seeing the look on Bobby's face. Here we go again. He readied himself for a fight but then his oldest brother susprised him by smiling. A smile that sent warning bells through his brain. That smile never meant anything good. His other brothers knew that too, and Jack saw the way their own smiles faltered but he was too anxious to gloat.
"Really? You think me an Jackie can't get laid?"
"The evidence speaks for itself" Jerry crossed his arms over his chest.
Bobby chuckled. "Oh you just wait girls. Make sure you're home saturday night, cause Jackie an I have something to teach ya".
Jack groaned.
So that was how Jack now found himself at a bar with Bobby. It was saturday night and they were going to pick up some girls, bring them home, and then torment Angel and Jerry all night. At least that's what Bobby said. Jack just wanted to get drunk and sleep.
"So do I have to worry Jackie?"
Jack swallowed his beer in one gulp. "About what?"
"I mean, you know how right? You know, how to make a girl..."
Jack rolled his eyes and pushed his laughing brother "Fucker"
"Just kidding, cause this is serious Jackie, not only do we have something to prove to the assholes that's our brothers, but it's always important not to have bad reviews".
"Whatever man, I've never had complaints"
"Well I don't know if those two counts Jack" Bobby laughed and ducked when Jack took a swing at him.
"Fuck you. And this shit's stupid anyway"
Bobby leveled him with his serious look. "Do you really want to go back home tonight alone? Cause trust me, Angel and Jerry will never let that go".
Jack pondered that for a few seconds. He knew Bobby was right, but he was just too... lazy for this sort of thing. He never went after anyone, they usually came to him if they wanted something, and if they didn't, well he could care less. Now it seemed like he was going to have to work for it, something he wasn't sure how to even do. Of course he couldn't tell Bobby that. He'd never live it down. He sighed and signaled the bartender who looked at him closely, Jack sighed and nudged Bobby.
"Whiskey" Bobby mumbled without taking his eyes off two girls sitting at a table to their right. The bartender nodded and only hesitated for a second before placing one in front of Jack too. Really, being a Mercer had some advantages. "Jack".
Jack looked up and glanced over at the girls Bobby was watching. Bobby locked eyes with one of the girls and smirked, causing her to frown and look away. Bobby chuckled, downed his whiskey and ordered four beers. "C'mon Jack". He stood and started towards the girls.
Jack groaned to himself but followed his brother. Fuck my life.
"I mean, you have the most beautiful eyes I have ever seen honey" Bobby smiled while staring deep into said girl's eyes. Jack though they were nothing out of the ordinary. Bobby probably didn't think so either.
"I have a boyfriend" The girl whose name was Sara informed coldly.
Bobby's smile didn't falter, if only it widened and Jack sighed to himself. That was not the right thing to say to Bobby. He knew his brother well enough to know that it was only going to make him more determined.
"You'd think he'd be mad?"
"Furious"
"Think I can take him?"
Jack blocked them out and focused on the girl sitting next to him. Lauren was her name and she was pretty, she really was, he was just kind of drunk right now. And, he didn't really love the idea of fucking someone just to prove he could. Or when every single one of his brothers would be listening.
"Do you have a boyfriend?" he asked her casually.
"Yeah"
Jack sighed. This was really going to take some work then. "Love him?"
"No" The girl shook her head "My parents love him".
Oh. Jack smirked and leaned down to meet her eyes. They were blue, like his. "What do you love then?"
Her eyes widened and he almost chuckled but caught himself in time.
"It's not going to work"
"What?"
"I'm not going home without you"
"Why not?"
"I don't know you"
"Your friend can come too, me an my brother live together"
"Fuck this shit"
Jack's head snapped up and he looked at Bobby who was now standing up and glaring down at the girl.
"I'm going home, you want to come?"
The double meaning wasn't lost on anyone. Jack was sure he was in for a slap when the girl stood up. Imagine his surprise when Sara kissed Bobby roughly, almost making him fall over. He braced himself against a nearby table and wrapped his arms around her. Jack turned back to Lauren, a question in his eyes.
"Oh why not" She mumbled. "Just so you know, I'm only coming with to keep an eye on her"
Jack smirked as he stood and offered her his hand. "Whatever you say sweetheart. You should know that my other two brothers is home too. Before you jump me".
Angel and Jerry were watching TV when the door slammed open to reveal Bobby, Jack and two unknown girls.
"What...?" Jerry stammered.
"Just gonna have a little party Jer" Bobby strode past them and grabbed some beers. He turned to Sara "Hey. This is just a one time thing alright, nothing else".
"Well yeah, I still have a boyfriend"
They didn't even have time to sit down before the door was kicked open.
The next morning Bobby was in a bad mood. He was hangover as all hell and nursing a black eye. Jack soon joined him on the couch, eyeing his face. "That looks painful"
"Yeah well, it's not that bad" Bobby mumbled.
"Maybe you shouldn't pick up other guys girlfriends" Jerry spoke striding in to the room making Jack wince with all the noise he was making.
"You should see the other guy" Bobby muttered.
Jerry stared at him "I did. I was here remember"
"Then you know he's in the hospital now, so shut up. Pretty fucking stupid to storm in here with all of us home".
"Well he said he saw you two leaving with his girlfriend, and the other guy's girl was with you so..." Angel gestured to Jack.
"Whatever" Jack muttered.
"And look at this mess!" Jerry exclaimed
"Well fucking stop with the nagging then grandma! I'll fucking get laid when I want too" Bobby snapped.
Jerry let out a laugh. "Oh trust me, after last night I'll be happy if neither one of you brings home a girl again".
Bobby gave him the finger and took a deep gulp of his coffee. Angel and Jerry soon left them alone and they sat in silence drinking their coffee.
"I think we did pretty good" Bobby mused.
"We did" Jack nodded "Wanna go out tonight again?"
Bobby laughed "Hell no"
Jack chuckled, clinking their cups together.
LOL. Yeah it's kind of silly I know.