Heart beats fast.
Colours and promises.
There was something about him that drew people close. Maybe it was that unshakable happiness, that smile that never vanished, the open and carefree demeanor of the boy that created a moth-to-flame effect on most of those in Konoha. Of course, there were still some who revered him as a demon, as a weapon to be feared and treated coldly towards.
But Hyuuga Hinata was not one of those skeptics.
In every form of the word, she loved that boy. She loved his rueful smile, his blue eyes that took in the world with such wonder and prospective of happier lives, the way he never allowed anything to get him down and – if it did – how he got back up from the blow.
Everyone but the man of her affection knew of her love, that sweet, gentle love she kept kindled inside her, away from his wondrous eyes.
How to be brave?
How can I love when I'm afraid to fall?
If she had more courage, perhaps she would have told him long before things happened as they did. Perhaps in the academy, she would have told him. Perhaps during the Chuunin exam, when he was the one who cheered her on despite the terrible odds of winning. Perhaps during the many missions, when she could scarcely breath with the thought of him in such close proximity to herself.
If she were more confident, she would have put herself out there. Hinata would have danced and sang and flirted and done anything to gain his attention. She would have outshone all the women of Konoha, would have done a thousand terrible deeds as long as it meant those blue eyes of such innocence would be on her, watching her, falling for her...
But she was not courageous, she was not confident. Hyuuga Hinata was a mild-mannered, polite girl too shy and afraid of almost-everything to do anything she wished to do. Never did she want to be a disgrace to her father (though she knew she had always been) nor did she wish to embarrass herself in front of that Uzumaki outcast she had loved since time unmemorable.
But watching you stand, alone.
All of my doubt suddenly goes away somehow.
One step closer...
Time stands still.
Beauty, I know she is.
"Hinata!" his voice would call. And she would be face to face with the boy, struggling to hold her composure like she had always been unable to before. But she was older now, and hopefully stronger. She could face him in short moments before becoming terrified of being seen as lowly in his eyes and passing out of fear.
For moments, she would just stare at those enchanting eyes of his, so filled with the happiness she knew he fought for, the happiness his curse had never allowed for him but that he won in his own right.
Absently he would talk, without hearing she would listen. Not to his words, but to his heartbeat that she swore she could hear, to the unsaid words she constantly wished would one day pour from his lips.
He was so close, sometimes. And in that closeness, she felt fine. When they were close together like lovers forbidden of the public eye, she was finally the girl she wished to be. Standing so close with only inches between them, she felt like she could grab his shirt and crash her lips to his, throw all thoughts of embarrassment or rejection aside for a second or two and just relish in the thought of feeling his being, his lips, his chest against hers.
But she could not, his mind was always upon another. And occasionally, when they spoke, she could see his eyes drift around to find the pink-haired maiden she knew took her place amongst his thoughts. Sakura was someone that Hinata knew she was unable to fight against. Sakura was beautiful and confident and... perfect. More than anything, the love-struck Hyuuga knew that Sakura would eventually win over Naruto, that she would be left alone with a broken heart she would – perhaps – one day get over.
I will be brave.
I will not let anything take away what's standing in front of me.
All she could do was hope and pray that – one day – Naruto would realize he loved someone other than the Haruno girl who captured him since the Academy days. Maybe – one day – he would realize that the Hyuuga child, no longer the heir, was the one he loved. He had supported her, helped her, been the strength that kept her going through each day. One day, she would be brave enough to tell him the truth, confident enough to stand before him as a woman in her own right and not a girl haunted by the abuse of her father, and she would tell that Uzumaki just what she felt for him, the raw and undeniable love she often had trouble forgetting of, no matter how often she attempted to rid him from her mind.
Naruto was like a cancer, she decided. He was something that she had been infected with at a young age, starting at her heart and spreading through all her organs until – eventually – he was part of her. There was no clear sign of how much was Hinata's original organs and how much was Naruto's presence.
She was far more than sure that the entirety of her heart was now in his possession.
Every breath.
Every hour has come to this.
One step closer...
"Hey, let's go for a walk," he would offer. And like a servant asked by a king, she would agree and follow him without a second thought of her own wishes. It didn't matter that she was afraid or that she may pass out if she spent too much time with him or the nervousness at his presence, at the occasional brush of his hand against hers. None of it mattered; she had been beckoned by him and so she must go.
One day, maybe, she would take the leap and kiss him without a care in the world, and leave Konoha from the shame. Hinata knew that, one day, she would be unable to control the white-hot desire for him that accumulated over years of watching everything he did, and she would be forced to flee Konoha or act upon the selfish thought she had wanted to follow up on for all too long.
All along, I believed I would find you.
Time has brought your heart to me.
I have loved you for a thousand years.
I'll love you for a thousand more.
"Hey, Hinata," he would say on a day so alike the others before it. He would not look her in the eyes, he would not lift his head or show his face, in fear that she would see the scarlette tinge upon his cheeks.
And unconsciously her heart would stop its beating, as if the anticipation of whatever would happen stopped her every action in its spot. Her breath would catch in her throat and only very weakly would she manage a small squeak of words that may sound vaguely familiar to, "Yes?", but what he would make out as nothing but a jumble of sounds pressing him forward in his actions.
"I think I love you," he would softly say.
In shock, she would stop her progression alongside him and just stand, breathless and wide-eyed at the blond boy slowly turning to face her.
And she would think for a moment that passing out would not be better than facing this moment, that this moment was worth more than anything in the world. This was more than her father's approval of her, more than the title of "heir to the Hyuuga name" would ever be.
The tears as he approached her were something she was unable to stop.
I have died everyday, waiting for you.
Darling, don't be afraid; I have loved you for a thousand years.
I'll love you for a thousand more.
He would cup her face in his hand, and she would be brave and courageous and strong and push her lips in his. Maybe she would flee Konoha after, but the way he kissed back made her think it an unneeded gesture.
Hinata smiled, looked up to the boy she had loved for what felt like an eternity, all the years of neglect and pain suddenly amounting to this moment and she was glad of the torture of the past, of the thousands and thousands of tears that had been wept upon her pillow at his passing interest in her.
"I love you, too."