The muscled blue unicorn trotted down the street, occasionally saluting to his fellow members of the Royal Guard. He popped into a glitzy store. It was covered with shades of pink and purple. Normally, he wouldn't be seen within five miles of a store like this, but he wanted to get Cadence a gift. His lovely wife. He smiled just thinking about her.
"Ahem," he said to the mare behind the counter. "I… er, I'd like to get my wife a gift." He thought the command was straightforward enough. It wasn't too rude or outrageous. It was just a command.
The bored looking mare looked up. She was an unsightly hot pink with bright green eyes. Her mane was a sort of electric blue, styled with tons of manespray. "Yeah? Well go pick it out ya-self," he said with a strange sort of accent. Maybe Manehattan.
"Excuse me; I am the captain of the Royal Guard!" Shining Armor protested, smacking a hoof on the floor. "You don't have the right to be so-"
"Look, handsome," the bored mare said, "it's nothin' personal. I don't know what yer wifey wants. Only you do. So go pick 'er out a gift. We close in ten minutes."
Shining Armor went to go look around the store, blushing and muttering, "Of course, of course." He inspected fluffy stuffed bears, heart-shaped bottles of pungent-smelling perfume, and gaudy fake flowers. Finally, he picked out a big bouquet of red roses.
"That'll be thirty bits," the mare said as she rang the roses up.
"Thirty bits!" Shining Armor cried. "That's crazy!"
"Just pay up, bucko," she commanded.
Shining Armor forked over the bits and left the store, muttering angrily around the roses in his mouth. Finally, he was home. Cadence could've easily requested that they live in a castle, but instead they lived in a modest cottage. Lovely, selfless Cadence. He flung open the door with a smile. "Darling, I brought you roses!" he cried happily.
And then his jaw dropped. The roses crashed to the floor. His beautiful bride was standing in the middle of the living room. That wasn't odd. But there was a kitten on her head. And three on back. And two each on her spread wings. And dozens in the living room. He heard distant meowing coming from the other rooms.
"Cadie?" he croaked out. "What… kittens?"
"I can explain!" Princess Cadence exclaimed.
Shining Armor set heavily on the couch. "Yes, please do." He rubbed his eyes, wondering briefly if this was some sort of fever dream. Nope, the cats were still there. Suddenly an adorable pitch black kitten nuzzled into his chest. "Please get off," Shining Armor whimpered.
"Oh, Shining! I forgot you're allergic to cats!" Cadence cried. "Um… so, I was down at the animal shelter, since we've been talking about getting a dog. And… they had all of these kittens that hadn't gotten adopted. I felt so bad, I just…"
The captain of the Royal Guard sneezed. "Cadie," he groaned. "It was a no-kill shelter. How many freakin' kittens did you adopt?"
"Maybe seventy-five?" she estimated with a sheepish, guilty smile.
He reached for a box of tissues and blew his nose. A little Russian blue kitten curled up next to the black one. Then a white kitten, an orange tabby, and a calico curled up into his chest. "Oh, Celestia," Shining Armor moaned. He gave a wheeze.
"Midnight," Cadie said gently to the black kitten. "Please get off of him." To the Russian blue, she said, "Frosty, you too." To the white one and the tabby, "Cloud, Flame, get off please." And to the calico, "Patches, off you go."
The kittens refused to depart.
"You named them?" Shining Armor thundered, scaring Midnight, Frosty, Cloud, Flame, and Patches off of the couch. Then he felt bad. "No, wait! Midnight, Frosty, Cloud, Flame, Patches! Come back!" He moaned. "Oh, look at me!"
"YAY!" Cadence cried, knowing that Shining Armor would cave and they would get to keep them. She picked the roses up and ate a few. "Mmm, tasty. Thanks." She kissed his forehead.
Shining Armor smiled, and then sneezed. A little gray tabby curled up next to him. "And you'll be Star," he smiled gently, thinking, What did I just agree to?