A/n: Sorry for the crappiness and I'm evil, evil enough to make Hida-chan to suffer from guilt for taking one of Kazu-chan's hearts and not telling him how much he loved him before he followed Shika-chan. MUHAHAHAHAHAHA. I love meaningless ranting. And you should watch out for another fluff dedicated to Wopsidaisy as a birthday gift from me to her and amazingly it won't be NaruHina… Don't know what it'll be yet, just don't SasuSaku and I think she knows not to wish a GaaSaku from me.

Please, correct grammar and spelling mistakes.

Disclaimer: I can't even draw a puppy without it being a mongoloid, so do you really think I could draw such a thing as Naruto?

I love pain in almost any sort of form. I love how the pain flows through my body during my rituals and how my enemies scream in agony as I stab them and myself at the same time. I love how ruthless Kakuzu is in bed. How I suddenly get thrown on the bed and how he bit me, torn me apart, hit me, fucked me and loved me.

I smile softly under the rocks as I remember the times I have sit in his lap while he counted his damn money and thrown in a kiss once in a while and all the times I have crawled into his bed, blaming it on the cold, while all I wanted to do was to cuddle. Thankfully, Kakuzu never questioned that.

There is also pain that I hate. I hate the pain I feel when Kakuzu is sent on a solo mission. He isn't immortal, he could die and worst of all is that he suddenly could have met somebody else and decided to leave the Akatsuki and me. At those times I can't eat because I'm too worried about Kakuzu. I don't even eat when Pein threatens to force-feed me and then feed me to Zetsu. I eat first after Kakuzu has come home and fucked me into the mattress and I lay on his chest listening to the irregular heart-beatings.

"Hidan." He would say, always sounding stern, but his eyes always gave out the worry he felt for me. "You'll eat tomorrow. I don't want to have sex with a skeleton." I would just look up at him and nod, before I hugged him closer and fell asleep.

But this pain I both love and hate. I love it since it never stops and I hate it since Kakuzu isn't here and I know he won't ever come. I'm alone under these damn rocks for an eternity in that annoying kid's forest. A tear rolls down my cheek and I can't stop it.

"Damnit, Kuzu, why aren't you coming?! I fucking need you! You're always here when I don't need you, but when I do need you, you're fucking gone! Please, just be fucking alive." The tears run freely down my cheeks now and I close my eyes.

"Hidan, you're crying." A soft loving voice reaches my ears and a stitched hand touches my cheek. "Don't cry. I'm here now. Everything is going to be alright."

"Please, don't let this be a fucking dream." I open my eyes to be met with earth and stones. I can nearly hear my heart shatter. "Fuck it, Kuzu. You can't help me now. You probably fucking hate me since I took one of your damn hearts. You don't even know where the fuck I am! And it's my fucking fault for following that damn kid out here… Please, forgive me for not telling you I loved you one last time…"

Yeah, this pain would be so much easier to bear with if Kakuzu was beside me.