Standard disclaimer: All of the characters and settings contained in this
story belong to J.K. Rowling. I'm not making any money off this. If you
try to sue me you'll likely only get old art projects and paint supplies.
(Together now- who put the starving in starving artist?)
All right, I have a bit of fluff here. And it was really awkward to type, too, because two of my fingers are in band-aids from something stupid involving a pot of boiling macaroni. If there are any typos (there shouldn't be, though), that's probably why. I have no idea what to title it.
Tonks was on a special mission completely unrelated to Order or Auror business. She was rummaging through her pantry, refridgerator, and freezer for anything that vaguely resembled chocolate, because she had a terminal case of the Munchies. If one could have read her thoughts at that moment, they might have gone something like this:
"Hmm, salt and crumbs from the bottom of a month-old bag of pretzels. Thanks, I'll pass. Tomato soup- nah, requires cooking. Cream of spinach, *definitely* not. Well, there is a little chocolate santa wrapped in shiny foil, but I don't trust it. It has to be a year old at least, and I swear it looked at me funny. Mervin Miffler's edible spreadable cheese, no way."
Things continued in this vein for a while until she reached the freezer. Then, she noticed that her favorite gallon tub of Florean Fortescue's choco- mint ice cream was definitely Gone. Who had had the audacity to break into a flat and finish off her ice cream? Certainly, she hadn't been the one to eat half of it in one sitting after that miserable day at work. Well, times like these called for desperate- ish measures. She had to go straight to the source, the ice cream parlor itself.
********************
Tonks thumped a sack of coins onto the counter. "Fortescue," she said, "Give me one of everything."
He looked at her strangely, but then noted how very appealing all those galleons, sickled and knuts were. "Ahem- Will that be for here or to go?" He asked, stifling a laugh. It was just so absurd, this small woman with outlandish hair, wanting to eat her own weight in ice cream or thereabouts.
"Oh, for here," said Tonks. I can't possibly carry twelve ice cream cones and four sundaes, can I? And lord knows I'd probably trip and it will all end up in my hair, anyway."
So, on the lovely spring evening of May 15, at exactly 5:32:03, she took a seat outside under one of the striped umbrellas and began to eat.
Somewhere in the middle of her fifth cone, she noticed a familiar face in the crowded Diagon Alley. "Lupin, hey Lupin!" She said, waving wildly. "Wotcher, Remus!" He walked by without seeming to notice her at all, which was difficult to fathom considering her loud shouting and the fact that her hair was today bright cherry red. But suddenly he appeared next to her table as though he had apparated.
"Shh!" He said sharply. "People shouldn't know that we know each other! It compromises" (and here he lowered his voice) "*Order* security."
"Too late, anyway," she said, waving off his concerns. "The whole street heard me, so you may as well pull up a seat and enjoy yourself, eh? Have some ice cream, perhaps?"
He glanced around. "Well, maybe, but I really should be getting back soon-"
"Excellent. Sit."
Just then, an underage wizard of about twelve said, "Hey, lady, is that all yours?"
"Uh huh!"
"Wow, is it every flavor they sell?"
"Well, it was before I finished off the first cone or so," said Tonks brightly. She nudge Remus under the table with her toe. "Go on, order something. I'll feel just incredibly put-out if I have to eat alone. And besides-" She looked around guiltily.
"Nymphadora, just how many ice creams have you really had?"
Another guilty look. "Well, five," she said. "Or five and a half, if you count the one I dropped on the ground halfway through and had to start over again. But you can't deny pure, animal hunger, now, can you?"
Evidently the boy had overheard, because he elbowed his friend and said, "Hey, Petey, what do you reckon she finishes the whole thing?"
"Not a chance," said the rather freckled one called Petey.
"Bet you a sickle."
"You're on, Ern, but you're just giving away good money, there."
And so it went. More people stopped to watch and place bets, and of course they needed something to sustain themselves during this entertainment. Fortescue, stopping by the outdoor table that Remus and Tonks shared, reported that he hadn't done such good business in years and offered to foot the bill if she could finish everything.
"I'll even pay for your gentleman friend, as well," Fortescue said. "Who sez I don't go for romance? Just 'cause I chase those hooligan kids and their girlfriends outta here. You two, now," he said, "you two have a memorable date, at least. Order up, sir. On the house, if the lady can eat like she sez."
Lupin's face had turned an unfortunate shade of red. "Romance? Date?" he thought. Tonks paused from eating a cherry-almond cone with chocolate sprinkles (her eighth), and said with a perfectly straight face, "You know, loviekins, go ahead and order something. This one's quite good, pumpkin; maybe you could try it?"
She patted him on the arm and he looked ready to bolt from his chair. He said hastily, "I couldn't infringe on Mr. Fortescue's hospitality any more, Nymphadora." She pulled a face at the use of her name, but he continued. "Well, seeing as you're trying to make yourself ill or eat enough for a small army (I can't tell which), I'd rather not make him pay for any more."
"Nonsense, my boy," said Fortescue. "No human can possibly eat that much, so it follows that she'll lose the bet and I won't have to pay for it. You'd only be helping me complete the biggest order of my life."
"Oh, go on, Remus!" said Tonks, who was now working on a double-chocolate sundae with fudge sauce. "You know," she said rather loudly, "you could try this one! They do say that chocolate is an aphrodisiac, after all."
His face was now the approximate color of borscht. Remus looked down at the table and wondered why, why the fates had decided to torture him with this when all he wanted was to go home for a nice read. He said, "No, really. I've just had an immensely filling meal; in fact, I think I might want to get home and sleep it off-" He started to rise from his chair.
Tonks said, "Sit. Eat something or I will transfigure you into a flobberworm."
"All right, all right," he said, not sounding as entirely displeased as he would have wished. Far too embarrassed to order anything with chocolate in it at any rate, he said, "I'll have a small vanilla cone, please."
"That's the spirit!" Fortescue said, ignoring Tonks' comment about aphrodisiacs and thumping him enthusiastically across the back. "Have it in just a second, sir," he said, and moved toward the back of the shop.
From across the table, Tonks grinned at him. "So, a date, huh? Do you think this is a date?"
Well, the whole thing was rather nice, after all. The striped umbrella above their table shaded them perfectly from the late afternoon sunlight, which shone gold on the pavement and brought out dazzling colors in the flower pots nearby. And Tonks, sitting across from him and now eating her tenth ice cream, was not an unpleasant sight. All in all, Remus slowly came to realize that he was enjoying himself against the odds.
"Fine, it's a date," he conceded. The odd, pleasant feeling continued through the rest of the evening. He found that he actually did enjoy his small vanilla ice cream cone, and much to the approval of the small crowd now watching them, he ordered a chocolate sundae to follow it. Tonks seemed to approve, too. "Eat up," she said. "You could stand to have a bit more food, what with. things. approaching."
"Thanks for not saying it out loud," he said quietly. In the shopping bags at his feet were the ingredients for wolfsbane potion, which he was going to attempt to make for himself for the first time ever tonight.
As if sensing his thoughts, Tonks said, "You know, I always was a complete inept at potions myself. Er. do you mind if I see what you use to make it?"
"Go ahead, just be extraordinarily careful."
"I'll try not to break any of it," she said, reaching under the table to get a bag and accidentally bumping her head as she came up. "Ow!"
"No, that's not what I meant by being careful," said Remus, as she began to rummage through the bag. She said, "Well, hewwo there, widdle fello- agh! It bit my nose!"
"That's what I meant by being careful," he said.
"Oh, I see," and she dove back into the bag, giving exclamations like, "Eugh, they expect you to eat this?" and "Well, this one at least looks like a cousin twice-removed of normal human food. But this weird eyeball thing here, it's absolutely disgusting. Merlin's beard, it looks even worse than my cooking!"
"Hey!" said Ern, the kid who has originally placed the bet. "Hey, lady, your sundae's melting."
"It's all right!" she said, beaming at the onlookers. She prodded the ice cream with her wand, said, "fresco!" and it froze again.
"So, why exactly did you decide to do this?" said Remus interestedly.
"Oh, well-" her eyes had acquired a rather guilty look again. "Well, have you ever really wanted to do something as a kid, but it was something really silly? So silly that everyone with two brain cells to rub together tried to prevent you? That's what this is all about. Plus plain old, ordinary munchies, I guess.
"Ah, I see," he said, with a perfectly straight face. "So either you're realizing some denied childhood fantasy, or else you haven't got two brain cells to rub together?"
"Hey!" she said, good-naturedly, and sent a maraschino cherry flying at his forehead. "You need some more chocolate, Remus."
He ducked in time. He saw her pick up her spoon to take another bite, only- only there was nothing left to eat. She had
eaten
the
whole
thing. The whole selection of ice cream! Half of the onlookers came up to slap him on the back or shake his hand, as though he had played any part in the whole ridiculous affair. Tonks was getting the same treatment, along with shouts of "Thanks, you won me ten galleons!" or "Wow, how did you do that?"
Well, that was fun," said Tonks. "I'm up for some ice cream, how about you?"
Lupin groaned.
"Kidding, pumpkin, only kidding. My 'gentleman friend', really. it makes us sound like Victorian paramours.
She laughed, and Lupin reflected that he rather enjoyed her company. As they walked back toward Diagon Alley in the evening sunlight, he took her hand, not caring who was watching. ~Fin Well, after all this cutesyness (is that a word?), I feel the need to write something either reflective or angsty. I'm about dying from an overdose of fluff. By the way, if any of you have seen this cookie before it's because I also posted it at the fictionalley Tonks/Lupin cookie jar. Anyway, what do I do- write a follow-up second date, or something altogether different?
All right, I have a bit of fluff here. And it was really awkward to type, too, because two of my fingers are in band-aids from something stupid involving a pot of boiling macaroni. If there are any typos (there shouldn't be, though), that's probably why. I have no idea what to title it.
Tonks was on a special mission completely unrelated to Order or Auror business. She was rummaging through her pantry, refridgerator, and freezer for anything that vaguely resembled chocolate, because she had a terminal case of the Munchies. If one could have read her thoughts at that moment, they might have gone something like this:
"Hmm, salt and crumbs from the bottom of a month-old bag of pretzels. Thanks, I'll pass. Tomato soup- nah, requires cooking. Cream of spinach, *definitely* not. Well, there is a little chocolate santa wrapped in shiny foil, but I don't trust it. It has to be a year old at least, and I swear it looked at me funny. Mervin Miffler's edible spreadable cheese, no way."
Things continued in this vein for a while until she reached the freezer. Then, she noticed that her favorite gallon tub of Florean Fortescue's choco- mint ice cream was definitely Gone. Who had had the audacity to break into a flat and finish off her ice cream? Certainly, she hadn't been the one to eat half of it in one sitting after that miserable day at work. Well, times like these called for desperate- ish measures. She had to go straight to the source, the ice cream parlor itself.
********************
Tonks thumped a sack of coins onto the counter. "Fortescue," she said, "Give me one of everything."
He looked at her strangely, but then noted how very appealing all those galleons, sickled and knuts were. "Ahem- Will that be for here or to go?" He asked, stifling a laugh. It was just so absurd, this small woman with outlandish hair, wanting to eat her own weight in ice cream or thereabouts.
"Oh, for here," said Tonks. I can't possibly carry twelve ice cream cones and four sundaes, can I? And lord knows I'd probably trip and it will all end up in my hair, anyway."
So, on the lovely spring evening of May 15, at exactly 5:32:03, she took a seat outside under one of the striped umbrellas and began to eat.
Somewhere in the middle of her fifth cone, she noticed a familiar face in the crowded Diagon Alley. "Lupin, hey Lupin!" She said, waving wildly. "Wotcher, Remus!" He walked by without seeming to notice her at all, which was difficult to fathom considering her loud shouting and the fact that her hair was today bright cherry red. But suddenly he appeared next to her table as though he had apparated.
"Shh!" He said sharply. "People shouldn't know that we know each other! It compromises" (and here he lowered his voice) "*Order* security."
"Too late, anyway," she said, waving off his concerns. "The whole street heard me, so you may as well pull up a seat and enjoy yourself, eh? Have some ice cream, perhaps?"
He glanced around. "Well, maybe, but I really should be getting back soon-"
"Excellent. Sit."
Just then, an underage wizard of about twelve said, "Hey, lady, is that all yours?"
"Uh huh!"
"Wow, is it every flavor they sell?"
"Well, it was before I finished off the first cone or so," said Tonks brightly. She nudge Remus under the table with her toe. "Go on, order something. I'll feel just incredibly put-out if I have to eat alone. And besides-" She looked around guiltily.
"Nymphadora, just how many ice creams have you really had?"
Another guilty look. "Well, five," she said. "Or five and a half, if you count the one I dropped on the ground halfway through and had to start over again. But you can't deny pure, animal hunger, now, can you?"
Evidently the boy had overheard, because he elbowed his friend and said, "Hey, Petey, what do you reckon she finishes the whole thing?"
"Not a chance," said the rather freckled one called Petey.
"Bet you a sickle."
"You're on, Ern, but you're just giving away good money, there."
And so it went. More people stopped to watch and place bets, and of course they needed something to sustain themselves during this entertainment. Fortescue, stopping by the outdoor table that Remus and Tonks shared, reported that he hadn't done such good business in years and offered to foot the bill if she could finish everything.
"I'll even pay for your gentleman friend, as well," Fortescue said. "Who sez I don't go for romance? Just 'cause I chase those hooligan kids and their girlfriends outta here. You two, now," he said, "you two have a memorable date, at least. Order up, sir. On the house, if the lady can eat like she sez."
Lupin's face had turned an unfortunate shade of red. "Romance? Date?" he thought. Tonks paused from eating a cherry-almond cone with chocolate sprinkles (her eighth), and said with a perfectly straight face, "You know, loviekins, go ahead and order something. This one's quite good, pumpkin; maybe you could try it?"
She patted him on the arm and he looked ready to bolt from his chair. He said hastily, "I couldn't infringe on Mr. Fortescue's hospitality any more, Nymphadora." She pulled a face at the use of her name, but he continued. "Well, seeing as you're trying to make yourself ill or eat enough for a small army (I can't tell which), I'd rather not make him pay for any more."
"Nonsense, my boy," said Fortescue. "No human can possibly eat that much, so it follows that she'll lose the bet and I won't have to pay for it. You'd only be helping me complete the biggest order of my life."
"Oh, go on, Remus!" said Tonks, who was now working on a double-chocolate sundae with fudge sauce. "You know," she said rather loudly, "you could try this one! They do say that chocolate is an aphrodisiac, after all."
His face was now the approximate color of borscht. Remus looked down at the table and wondered why, why the fates had decided to torture him with this when all he wanted was to go home for a nice read. He said, "No, really. I've just had an immensely filling meal; in fact, I think I might want to get home and sleep it off-" He started to rise from his chair.
Tonks said, "Sit. Eat something or I will transfigure you into a flobberworm."
"All right, all right," he said, not sounding as entirely displeased as he would have wished. Far too embarrassed to order anything with chocolate in it at any rate, he said, "I'll have a small vanilla cone, please."
"That's the spirit!" Fortescue said, ignoring Tonks' comment about aphrodisiacs and thumping him enthusiastically across the back. "Have it in just a second, sir," he said, and moved toward the back of the shop.
From across the table, Tonks grinned at him. "So, a date, huh? Do you think this is a date?"
Well, the whole thing was rather nice, after all. The striped umbrella above their table shaded them perfectly from the late afternoon sunlight, which shone gold on the pavement and brought out dazzling colors in the flower pots nearby. And Tonks, sitting across from him and now eating her tenth ice cream, was not an unpleasant sight. All in all, Remus slowly came to realize that he was enjoying himself against the odds.
"Fine, it's a date," he conceded. The odd, pleasant feeling continued through the rest of the evening. He found that he actually did enjoy his small vanilla ice cream cone, and much to the approval of the small crowd now watching them, he ordered a chocolate sundae to follow it. Tonks seemed to approve, too. "Eat up," she said. "You could stand to have a bit more food, what with. things. approaching."
"Thanks for not saying it out loud," he said quietly. In the shopping bags at his feet were the ingredients for wolfsbane potion, which he was going to attempt to make for himself for the first time ever tonight.
As if sensing his thoughts, Tonks said, "You know, I always was a complete inept at potions myself. Er. do you mind if I see what you use to make it?"
"Go ahead, just be extraordinarily careful."
"I'll try not to break any of it," she said, reaching under the table to get a bag and accidentally bumping her head as she came up. "Ow!"
"No, that's not what I meant by being careful," said Remus, as she began to rummage through the bag. She said, "Well, hewwo there, widdle fello- agh! It bit my nose!"
"That's what I meant by being careful," he said.
"Oh, I see," and she dove back into the bag, giving exclamations like, "Eugh, they expect you to eat this?" and "Well, this one at least looks like a cousin twice-removed of normal human food. But this weird eyeball thing here, it's absolutely disgusting. Merlin's beard, it looks even worse than my cooking!"
"Hey!" said Ern, the kid who has originally placed the bet. "Hey, lady, your sundae's melting."
"It's all right!" she said, beaming at the onlookers. She prodded the ice cream with her wand, said, "fresco!" and it froze again.
"So, why exactly did you decide to do this?" said Remus interestedly.
"Oh, well-" her eyes had acquired a rather guilty look again. "Well, have you ever really wanted to do something as a kid, but it was something really silly? So silly that everyone with two brain cells to rub together tried to prevent you? That's what this is all about. Plus plain old, ordinary munchies, I guess.
"Ah, I see," he said, with a perfectly straight face. "So either you're realizing some denied childhood fantasy, or else you haven't got two brain cells to rub together?"
"Hey!" she said, good-naturedly, and sent a maraschino cherry flying at his forehead. "You need some more chocolate, Remus."
He ducked in time. He saw her pick up her spoon to take another bite, only- only there was nothing left to eat. She had
eaten
the
whole
thing. The whole selection of ice cream! Half of the onlookers came up to slap him on the back or shake his hand, as though he had played any part in the whole ridiculous affair. Tonks was getting the same treatment, along with shouts of "Thanks, you won me ten galleons!" or "Wow, how did you do that?"
Well, that was fun," said Tonks. "I'm up for some ice cream, how about you?"
Lupin groaned.
"Kidding, pumpkin, only kidding. My 'gentleman friend', really. it makes us sound like Victorian paramours.
She laughed, and Lupin reflected that he rather enjoyed her company. As they walked back toward Diagon Alley in the evening sunlight, he took her hand, not caring who was watching. ~Fin Well, after all this cutesyness (is that a word?), I feel the need to write something either reflective or angsty. I'm about dying from an overdose of fluff. By the way, if any of you have seen this cookie before it's because I also posted it at the fictionalley Tonks/Lupin cookie jar. Anyway, what do I do- write a follow-up second date, or something altogether different?