Hi everyone, this is a one-shot divided into four, based on the current storyline of Charlie's traumatic past. I read a spoiler about Angelo and Ruby distrusting Charlie's rape claim and with all this going on, I thought it would be the absolute perfect time for Joey to come back. So, if Home and Away aren't going to write it, I figured I would. It's quite heavy and does include some unpleasant images but I hope you enjoy it. IJKS xxx
Compassion
Chapter One
Joey woke very suddenly, sitting up in her bunk and throwing herself out of it immediately. Hurrying across the hall, she burst into the bathroom and promptly vomited. Sweating and gasping, images still burning in her mind, she reached for some toilet roll and wiped her mouth. Breathing heavily, she forced herself up and flushed the chain, shakily finding her way back to bed. Slipping beneath the sheets and feeling the distinct presence of a headache beginning at the back of her skull, she lay heavily against the pillows, afraid to close her eyes.
"Are you okay?" a quiet voice asked her from the bunk above.
"Another nightmare," Joey admitted unhappily.
They had been constant for weeks now and they were making her ill.
"Can I get you anything?" Holly asked, deeply worried about her friend.
Joey had arrived on the trawler at the very end of April in a state of great distress. She was heartbroken and forlorn but as the months had passed, she'd settled and been able to find some kind of peace. Her contract had been due to expire at the end of July and Joey's original plan had been to go back home and face the demons she'd been trying to put behind her but she couldn't. The boat had pulled up and her bags had been packed but she'd stayed on the boat for the six hours they'd docked and then she'd gone away with them again, agreeing to work indefinitely for the company that she called home. Now, as the world greeted September, her heart and mind were being wrenched out of her body on a nightly basis and it only seemed to be getting worse, not better. Holly was definitely worried, especially now that Joey had sat her down and told her that she'd figured out one way and one way only to solve her anxiety. It wasn't something Holly wanted Joey to do. She couldn't see the good there, knowing how hard it would be for her. But then, perhaps she was right and it would resolve some of the mess in her head and give her some kind of closure. Still, she didn't like it.
"No, I'm fine," Joey replied. "Thank you."
Holly reached her hand down and Joey reached up to squeeze it lightly, comforted by the contact. Holly had befriended her from day one, helped her through her grief. She'd been a wonderful friend and while Joey knew she didn't support her latest decision, she knew she'd let her go. This was just something she needed to do.
Charlie headed out of the bathroom feeling dizzy and still a little sick. Having emptied her stomach, she headed to the kitchen to get a glass of water, ignoring the dark shapes and shadows around her that on a normal night were no problem at all. These days, they frightened her. These days, everything frightened her. Gulping her water down, she rested her arms against the counter top and her head in her arms, working to regulate her breathing. Tears stung her eyes. She had never felt so alone before in all her life. Forcing herself back to her empty bed, she lay awake staring up at the ceiling. She wondered if Ruby was okay. She hated that she was living with Irene now. Ruby, her Ruby ought to be at home where she belonged. Last week they seemed to have made so much progress but then Grant had come to find them and shaken up their already fractured world again. Now Charlie was plagued with her sister… her daughter's... doubt and the potential nightmare that Ruby would want to have a relationship with the monster who had fathered her. Glancing at the empty space beside her, Charlie felt sick. Angelo was pretty much gone from her life. Just as things looked like they were beginning to settle down, Angelo had expressed doubt about her story. He may as well have stabbed her through the heart. To even question that she might be lying or 'misguided' as he had put it, was too much. She felt like she couldn't recover. And it had made the nightmares worse. Still looking at the empty space in her bed, Charlie began to cry harder. It was strange to feel sad over Angelo when, as much as she cared for him, she knew deep down that he would never be to her what he should be. It was Joey that she was longing for. It was Joey had truly longed for in all the time she had been gone. Self-hatred filled Charlie immediately. It was just like her to have lost the person she would have needed most right now. Joey would have believed her. She would have trusted her, stuck by her and never left her side. But Charlie had pushed her away and let her go. It was the worst mistake she had ever made. Curling up into the foetal position, Charlie sobbed so hard that her body began to ache. Desperately, she cried Joey's name over and over again into her pillow, right until she fell back into a reluctant slumber.