A fanfiction devoted to my favorite vampire, James. Enjoy and please review!
For James
Pain cannot be described in only a few words. A dagger to the heart doesn't properly depict it. It's not just some agonizing, shooting sensation roiling through your blood. No, it's more or less the feeling that your body has been torn in shreds ripped apart from your soul, and it occurs over and over again, never ending, always replaying, repeating mercilessly. And if the sensation has been forced upon you, you are filled with such bitterness, attempting to hide some of the agony. A bitterness that leads to revenge and utter malice.
As I stand above them, the Cullens boy and his weak human, my entire soul is filled with anguish and fury, a potent poison. It was simple enough to get here, to this window at their prom. I've always bewitched men without doing anything, getting them to give me what I want. I was told by many that my scarlet eyes and fiery red waves of hair always managed to stun, but my favorite explanation was by a dear friend, my soul mate, on a day when his tempter was particularly infused with venom.
"Victoria," he snapped, that dangerous glimmer in his eyes, "you always have this infernal flame in our spirit, enough to set a man on fire. It drives me to rabid fury."
I can't help but stand and smile, watching Edward and Bella dancing in oblivious innocence. They barely grasp the meaning of love; barely understand its potency and heat. As a human, Bella cannot understand the darkness she clams to love. She cannot fathom that the being she is smiling up at is death in physical form. Unlike me, she doesn't recognize the hunger in her love's eyes. Never could she picture him, through her love struck gaze, as having ripped a man apart, destroying him without second thoughts. Sharp fangs don't frighten the silly girl, and I can't find what Edward finds so fascinating in her.
How I hate them both. Heartless monster and foolish girl. My hands clench the window beam, cracking it, and my teeth clench together, hurting against each other. I could clear this barrier with one small jump, shattering glass and destroying hope, and I could kill them both. They deserve it, cruel assassins. I'll take out the rest of the Cullens while I'm and feed off any wretches that get in my way.
My muscles tense in preparation, but a ghost of a whisper stops me cold.
Not yet, Love.
"James?" I choke, spinning around, but of course he's not there.
He's gone, Victoria. Get over it. He was ruthlessly murdered, and he's never coming back.
I fall to my knees, remembering the man I lost, even as a Celine Dion song feels the air.
"I finished crying in the instant that you left,
And I can't remember where or when or how.
And I banished every memory you and I had ever made."*
Burgundy eyes burn at me from the recesses of my memory, enflamed with a passion I can never forget. Golden hair is silken beneath my fingertips, weaving through my fingers like an ocean wave. His for, every inch a man, chocked me into silence from the beginning. A proud, mischievous smile floods my soul with warmth even now.
"But when you touch me like this,
And you hold me like that
I just have to admit that it's all coming back to me.
When I touch you like this, and I hold you like that,
It's so hard to believe but it's all coming back to me now."
He's running before me again, laughing in the chase as he spins about to face me. Collisions were welcome, even when unexpected. He grabs me before I fall, pressing his lips against mine. The air is infused with squeals and laughter, but then silence falls over the wood, and only trees are witness to our happiness and delight.
The last time I saw him, things were different. He was ravenous for blood, and not just any blood, but that human's. Bella was an extraordinary hunt for him, involving battle with opposing vampires. He loved a challenge. There was such delight in his eyes as he prepared to leave for Arizona.
I was to stay behind. Fear crept through me at his firm orders not to follow.
All playfulness was gone. I couldn't smile or jest. I couldn't still the panic building within. Somehow the chase in the woods earlier with the Cullens had terrified me more than it had excited my hunter instincts. I wanted to cling to James, pin him to the spot and hold him there, but that wasn't what he wanted. No, the hunt was on, and he wouldn't back out.
"Victoria, look at me."
I obeyed, glancing up into those blood red eyes that could both kill and love at the same time.
"So much pain," his voice soothed. "I wouldn't have you worry for me."
"Please don't go," I whispered hoarsely. "James…"
I grabbed his hand in both of my pale ones and held on desperately. With inhuman strength, he pulled me to my feet, spun me, pushed himself roughly against me, and backed me into a boulder. I was able to gasp only once before his mouth was on mine. Powerful fists clenched my auburn curls even as a firm body held me in place. All thought vanished from my mind as skilled hands traced my arms, aggressive in passion.
Blood wasn't the only thing James could devour.
When finally I came up for air, he pulled me against him, and I buried my face in his chest. I clung to his worn leather jacket with all my worth, and he kissed my cheek sweetly even as he pulled my hands gently away. Masculine fingers stroked my cheeks, and his nose touched mine.
"I love you, always," he had murmured.
"Forever," I whispered, my hand over his chest where his heart would have been.
As so often before, he wrapped an arm around my neck, almost in a headlock, and whispered kisses against my lips. He nibbled on my lower lip and then drew me into a deep kiss, one of the only ways we, as cold creatures, could feel heat. His mouth lingered, and then he was gone.
I was never to see him again.
As I focus my attention on Edward and Bella, a sharp ache shudders through me, and my eyes burn with rising fury. I turn away from the dance and make my way to the stairs.
"When you see me like this, and when I see you like that,
We see just what we want to see all coming back to me.
The flesh and the fantasies all coming back to me.
I can barely recall but it's all coming back to me now."
My pain turns to pride, my agony to revenge as I stride down the steps. Foolish lamb and ignorant lion. You haven't seen the last of me. We'll meet again. I can swear to that.
I pull out my hairpins and shake my fiery strands free, releasing the vampire and his pet, but don't be fooled; it's only for a short while. And as I reach the end of my descent, flames flicker in my eyes, and a smirk of greatest satisfaction tugs at my lips.
I'll destroy them, the lover and the loved. There will be no mercy, no holding back. An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth. Edward stole my greatest treasure, so I shall destroy his.
For James and James alone.
*"All Coming Back to Me Now" - Celine Dion