Hey there everyone! It's finally SCU again! I know that I have been gone for a while, but this year has been one of the busiest for me. Here are some wanderings of my mind while I was in the middle of writing Ikuto's Good Deeds. It's Amu and Ikuto one night, having a talk about what they want out of life. Please read, and then review if you like it. If you don't just move on, no need to pick fights with random internet people. I know the fans of my writing may very well enjoy this. (ALSO, JUST A FAIR WARNING, THIS STORY LEANS ON THE SIDE OF PRO-CHILD-FREEDOM. IF YOU DON'T APPRECIATE THAT VIEW, OR IF YOU'RE JUST GOING TO LEAVE A HATEFUL REVIEW ABOUT WHY SOME ASPECT OF BEING CHILD-FREE IS WRONG OR BAD, THEN JUST MOVE ALONG...BECAUSE I'LL JUST DELETE YOUR REVIEW ANYWAY.) I believe everyone is entitled to their own opinions, but there's no need to troll people's stories and create fights just cause you don't agree.
P.S. I know I don't own Shugo Chara! You know I don't own Shugo Chara! Blah blah...I hate disclaimers because it forces me to over and over again act as if I don't know these things don't belong to me. The plot, dialogue and writing may all be mine but the characters are NOT. And now I am just as sure of that as I was before I typed this. *rolls eyes* Okay, now let's proceed to the story.
It's been on his mind for weeks now, not only weighing down on his thoughts but his heart. Ikuto's always been a free spirit. The kind of person who wants to go wherever the wind takes him, not caring about convention or the list of steps that the rest of society applies to life and calls "normal." Life isn't about being "normal" or "abnormal." It's about taking steps toward your personal goals and making yourself happy. He had come to see that as the truth after Amu had saved him from Easter all those years ago.
Things and people had changed quite a bit since then, but one thing had not changed. Ikuto knew back then that he didn't want to have any children, and he doesn't want any now. First of all, he wants to travel and experience changes in life and see all the world has to offer. That would be why he and Amu are currently residents of New York City, in America. His work with the orchestra had landed him here about a month ago, and this is where they had decided to settle for long enough so that Amu could go to school. When she was finished, they would meet up with the others again and travel more. That is not a lifestyle conducive to raising a child.
But what's even worse than that is he hasn't even talked to Amu about it yet. True, they haven't been dating all that long. He hadn't wanted to bring up such a sensitive issue to her, knowing that the difference between a partner who wants children and one who doesn't often means the end of a relationship. After finally winning her feelings in return for his own like he had promised her he would, taking the chance that he could lose her hasn't been something he is willing to do.
All of this, coupled with the fact that he's never been much good at expressing his emotions in words has made the last two weeks or so an absolute terror.
He rolls over in bed, looking over at his girl who had decided to stay the night tonight. She had missed the last train and didn't feel like getting ripped off on a cab fare to get back to her college dorm. He'd told her it was fine with him, an expression of indifference on his face. In reality, he couldn't have been happier. It's the first time she's ever asked to stay, whether out of necessity or not.
He places his cheek in his hand, propped up by his elbow and looks down at the girl. His expression is unreadable, but his chest is tight with concern. When he even so much as imagines a future where he's not laying next to Amu, it makes everything feel dreary. She suddenly stretches out in front of him, her eyes tearing up a bit with the exertion of energy during sleep. His eyes widen a little as he looks at her. God, this girl's so adorable it messes me up...
Before he can react, her eyes pop open and after a few more seconds, focus on him. The pinkette presses her lips together, looking like she's about to give him one of her little lectures. The cat-like young man can't hold back a grin when it tugs at the corners of his mouth. There's no one who knows Amu better than he does.
"It's creepy to watch someone while they sleep with a big, strange grin on you face. Some people might get the wrong idea," Amu recalls what he had told her all those years earlier. It is always good to use his own words against him. She looks back at the smiling boy over her shoulder, placing a finger on her chin and faking curiosity "Who was it that told me that again...oh...I believe that was you...Mr. Tsukiyomi." Her eyes connect with his, making his heart just melt.
He moves closer to her, wrapping both arms around her back and pulling her close under the blankets. Her eyes widen as he attaches himself to her, her own arms resting on his chest. His nose digs into the crook of her neck, his hair tangling into hers. "First of all, it's only creepy if that person is someone other than your boyfriend. And secondly, if you're going to be this cute then I'm going to hold you tightly with a 'big, strange grin on my face.' Got it, Mrs. Tsukiyomi?"
He backs off a bit, looking down at her for a reaction. The young woman's face reddens to a color near impossible on human skin. He chuckles softly as she turns her head to one side, embarrassed.
"I'm not your wife Ikuto. Don't say embarrassing things." She tells him, pouting.
He swiftly places a finger under her chin, gently encouraging her timid amber orbs to meet and lock together with his serious, blue eyes. She gasps at the level of calm assurance in piercing gaze.
"I-Ikuto?"
His head dips down a little, his eyes looking nothing if not more serious then even a moment ago. He leans his forehead on hers, feeling her heart pumping the blood through her body at an incredibly rapid pace. He smiles softly, as not to scare her, though he can tell she's already more than a little surprised. Removing his finger from her chin, he carefully and tenderly cups her rosy face in his large, rough hands. "Not yet, Amu..." His azure eyes, though cool in color, are almost setting a fire ablaze in her cheeks.
"Mmm...Ikuto...what?" She stumbles over the right words, landing on this nonsensical grouping that spills out instead.
His smile only widens. Even though she has long since grown out of the stage of over-reacting to everything, he can still have this big of an impact on her. His thumb absently brushes her cheek, making the girl squeal in delightful surprise. "Don't say it like it's not going to happen. You're not my wife yet. But you will be, one day."
She lowers her face a bit, then leans against his sturdy chest, surprising him. She softly nods, the simple action being meant as a type of apology. "You're right."
For a moment, all seems right with the world. Then, the feelings of the last few weeks hit him again and he releases a heavy sigh, peaking her interest. The small woman raises her head and looks at the young man with curious, maple eyes. Ikuto's eyes are closed, as if something very heavy were dragging down his eye lids. Almost like the night he had first confessed to her all those years ago.
"Ikuto," When Amu speaks, his eyes instantly come open. "What's on your mind? You seem...distracted."
Well, if she really wants to know, there's no sense in keeping it to himself anymore. He sits up and looks back over his shoulder, motioning with his head for her to join him in that position. She complies aptly with his non-forceful request. He turns his head and looks directly at her.
"What I'm about to say is pretty important, so I need you to listen carefully, okay?" He says, his tone even. His eyes are fierce.
Her own amber eyes widen. He can't possibly mean...not now...there's no possible way. "Holy... you're not proposing are you?"
"Honestly, now. I'm not going to do something like that when I can't afford to take proper financial responsibility toward you. This is about something a little more important." He responds rather bluntly, sparking her interest yet again.
"Okay, I understand. What is it about then?" She neatly pushes back the covers, annoyed with how gross she feels. Being this close to a guy right after waking up and not feeling clean is embarrassing with a capital "e."
"Amu." He says it in a tone that demands her full attention. She turns her head quickly, looking straight into his deep pools of ultramarine. He stares back, an intense look on his face. "What's your opinion about...kids?"
She blinks a couples times at the question, almost confused. What is this question supposed to mean anyway? "Ummm...I like them, I suppose. Why?"
The cat-like young man just shakes his head, exasperated. How could she have almost completely misunderstood him? "No, Amu...that's not really what I meant. I guess I just have to say it outright. Do you want any kids?"
Their eyes stay locked together for a few moments in the silence as Amu thinks seems to be mulling over his question in her mind. Why would he ask something like that? Amu had always loved children and remains to this day, good at caring for them. But that is no reason why she'd want any. She works with other people's kids all day at work every day she goes in, and she spent the first sixteen years of her life catering to her little sister's every need. The last thing she wants to do after dealing with that is have screaming kids of her own to come home to and take care of. Especially with being on the road all the time. They'd constantly have to go to different schools, and they'd never make any friends their own age. Plus, she's never thought of herself growing up and becoming a traditional housewife. She'd always sought out a different path in life, and she wants to continue to walk that path. But whether Ikuto will be on that path with her is up to his response to her at this moment.
"I don't really want any. We don't live the kind of life that's good for kids, and I don't really have any interest in being a traditional housewife. If I'm going to stick around, I'd prefer to go to work and earn my keep that way." Her eyes peer up at him, her glare fierce and meaningful.
Poor Ikuto is at a total loss for words. Even if Amu was never like most other girls where he was concerned, he had never expected this coming from her. Suddenly all the heaviness and anxiety from the last two weeks lifts away."You don't want any? None at all?"
Even though it's not meant to question her choices, she misunderstands, and assumes them to be just more attacks for not doing what someone else wants. "Yeah, is something wrong with that? The way I see it, I can either be a mother or I can have the other things in life I want, but I can't have both. I just happen to want the other things more than motherhood."
Ikuto moves in, wrapping his arms tightly around her and whispering into her neck. His body and mind are finally completely at ease for the first time in what seems to him like a lifetime. All the worries and troubles had vanished when the words "I don't really want any", passed over her lips. "To think I've spent two weeks dreading this talk, I feel like such an idiot..."
She giggles. "That's because you are one."
He lightly taps her head, backing out of the embrace. "Baka, I was really worried. I haven't really ever wanted kids. But It's kind of a deal-breaker when it comes to a relationship. I just..." He pauses, making her watch with interest. His face reddens slightly. "I just got you to be with me, and when I thought about not having you...for the first time, and probably only time in my life, I'm just going to admit that I was genuinely scared."
The pinkette's eyes widen, her cheeks growing rosy once more. The over-whelming feelings of joy, love and admiration inside of her just can't be compared to anything else, because comparing them to anything would just make light of them. Her heart is swelling with love for the young man before her such as she's never felt before. In part because he wants the same things in life that she does and also in part because it's one of the rare, yet less than subtle instances where Ikuto shows her just how deeply and passionately he cares for her.
"Oh Ikuto..." With a dark blush gracing her face, she moves in and gives him a gentle peck on the cheek. His eyes are wide, a small smile gracing his features. "I really like you in moments like this...just so you know..." Her eyes move off in another direction, averting themselves from his heated gaze. His hand softly brushes the side of her face, loving trailing over her skin.
"And I love you in moments like this," His reply is simple, however it is anything but his usual monotone. Her eyes snap to his again when she hears how serious he is. "I'm going to kiss you now." His tone makes it sound like it was inevitable. It probably was since the moment she woke up. She frowns at him. As if I don't know when someone is going to kiss me by now...jeez Ikuto...you still act like I'll freak out about any little thing...
"Like you needed to tell me."
With that, his lips press firmly against hers, basking in their inviting warmth and softness. She kisses back with equal vigor, her fingers sifting through his satin-like deep blue hair. He lets out a small noise of pleasure, a mere murmur, but it is enough to make her back off. She stares up at him, a warning glare gracing her features.
The young man simply pats her on the head and then pulls her close. His arms tighten around her, but that's as far as he goes before putting his head on the pillow. "I once told you that I'm not going to do anything that you'd actually hate me for doing. That's still true. Nothing's changed just because now I can lie with you like this."
She nods against his chest, silently signaling her apology. The two then make themselves comfortable, simultaneously heading into their own, separate world of dreams.
So, that's it. Let me know if you like it, and definitely let me know if you'd like to see more of it (like future chapters, or related stories) as I'd be happy to oblige. And just a reminder to anyone who didn't read the top of the page, no flames or trolls. There are plenty of stories on this site that say right in the summary that it's okay to flame their stories. Go there if you wish to flame, because they are not welcome here.