Something I had on my computer for a while, (ever since Lost and found) and I just finished it. So it might be a bit different at the end. I hope you like it!
has a bit of spoilers for Under Covers (308) and Lost and Found (509)
Once upon a time
Once upon a time, it would've been him on with her on his arm, escorting her to a ball. Once upon a time, they probably wouldn't have made it to the ball.
Once upon a time.
The look in her eyes was guarded. There was a mask surrounding her, and not one emotion showed. But in her eyes, he could still see something else. Something she didn't want to share with everyone else. As a Director, she had to make an impeccable impression, especially since this would be her first formal function as Director of NCIS. But he had known her for years. And he knew where and when the cracks in her mask showed. If you looked in her eyes long enough, kept her gaze long enough, you could see past it.
And that was exactly what he did. But she broke their shared gaze before he had been able to break her last wall down. She still cared, he had seen that much. And she was remembering too.
Once upon a time.
Once upon a time, there would've been a different man next to her. Once upon a time she there wouldn't have been any doubt who would take her to a ball.
Once upon a time they would've danced together.
She met his gaze, and let him see past the first walls. But for her own protection she broke their gaze before he got past the last one. Escorted by Ducky she walked to the elevator and when the doors closed she let out a deep sigh.
She knew Ducky was looking at her, but she also knew he wouldn't comment on what just happened. In her mind she rebuilt her walls and slipped behind the mask. Tonight she was Jennifer Shepard, Director of NCIS, and completely in control. And no one, not even him, would interfere with that.
Once upon a time he would've.
What she didn't know was that for her own safety a team had been chosen to guard her. To keep her safe the entire night. It would've have been a golden opportunity for him to stay close to her, to keep her away from men that dared to look at her.
But he didn't.
He let his team have this night off and stayed at home. In his basement. Trying to forget how amazing she looked tonight. How beautiful she looked all decked out. It was hard. But he kept sanding until the image faded to the background.
Once upon a time, he never would've let her image fade.
After she had worked the room and left Ducky with his old friends she scanned the room. An old habit. A habit she had picked up from him. He had told her to always make sure she knew what was happening around her. And if there was anything out of the ordinary, it was worth checking out. Safety always came first.
When she was younger, and a Probie herself, she never had the patience. It took her years to finally perfect the skill of scanning a room unnoticed. Unnoticed and thoroughly.
She had seen three of her own NCIS agents, all three of them in a close, but not too close proximity of her.
They still thought she needed protection. All those years as an Agent and they still thought she couldn't take care of herself. She decided to test them, making sure no one saw her, she took off. Quietly.
Once upon a time, she wouldn't have taken off alone.
As she remembered that she wondered, why wasn't his team guarding her. It would've been just like him to stay close to her all night. To keep her safe. Like he used to do.
In the spur of the moment she decided to find the answer to her question. And she took a cab to his house.
Working on his boat really helped to take his mind off her, instead his head was now filled with memories.
Memories from a long time ago, far away, but never forgotten. His two greatest loves, he missed them, after all these years some days were harder than others, especially the holidays were difficult. A not so long time ago there had been someone, a third love to ease the hurt and to partially fill the hole in his heart. Even if she didn't know she was doing it.
Deciding he had done enough for the night he headed to his living room, poured himself a drink and sat in his favourite chair, a photo album on his lap. It was a tradition of some kind. Every holiday or other special day he took out the album and remembered the time the three of them celebrated it together.
Once upon a time he celebrated the Marine Corps Birthday with them.
He could hear his front door unlocking and closing a little while later. From his chair he could see her walking towards his basement. He coughed to catch her attention. Her head quickly turned. He wasn't sure why she was here, and he watched as she came closer.
"Why didn't you go to the ball?"
"You know I don't dance Jen."
His voice was a little cold, she tried her best not to show her disappointment and disguised it with a little sarcasm.
"Don't or can't?"
He didn't reply to it, and turned back to the album in his hands.
Once upon a time she would've dared him to dance with her.
But when she looked at him, and saw the sad look in his eyes she knew it wasn't the time and place. Instead, she just stood there, waiting for him to make the next move.
"Why aren't you at the ball?"
" I didn't feel like it."
She moved even closer, and her eyes travelled from his face to the photo album in his lap. But before she could get a good look at the pictures, he closed it and laid it on the coffee table. She didn't question it. She never did with him. He always had his reasons, and she was sure he would tell her, if he felt that she needed to know.
Once upon a time she didn't think that that would be enough.
He walked to the liquor cabinet and filled two glasses with bourbon. Their fingers gazed when he handed her the glass. She was surprised that she didn't feel the small tingle that she used to feel every time he touched her.
This time, it was not just a small tingle, it was a much stronger feeling. And it also wasn't those cliché shivers up and down her spine. It was something that just felt right. There was no other way to explain it.
She raised the glass again and made a toast.
" Happy Birthday Jethro."
Once upon a time, something would've happened that night. And to be quite honest, they had surprised themselves by not letting that happen.
Maybe they weren't ready yet, maybe they didn't want the same things. Maybe they'd changed too much. Excuses, explanations, things they knew weren't true.
It took a kidnapping, an explosion, a margarita safari, a hunt for an old enemy, a few exes and a little boy to get them to the position where they were tonight.
"Once upon a time I would've asked you to stay, and I wouldn't have taken no for an answer."
Not even this time they dared to pass the fine line they had been walking ever since she returned.
"I had to do what was best for me, I still do."
Was this the right choice? Was it really best for them?
They were at work again, watching as another case ended right in front of them. Carson was united with his family again. He watched the three together and then he saw her hanging over the railing and he made the choice.
Once upon a time he would've walked away.
Now, he didn't, he did what he should've done a very long time ago. He ran up the stairs, taking them two at the time. Firmly he grabbed her hand and pulled her along toward her office.
Once upon a time they had sex in the Directors office.
And today, they did it again.
Tell me what you think!