Title: My Girl
Author: Dark Roswellian Angel
Elizabeth McDowell
Disclaimer: If I did, Jensen would be waiting for me downstairs right now. Enough said.
Copying/Downloading/Posting: Please let me know first, and let me know where my work will be posted as I would love to come visit it. Make sure that it is put under my name, as I would love to hear how others feel about it. Thanks ;)
Rating: K+
Synopsis: One-shot. Normal's take on Max's appearance when Logan comes to pick her up before his cousin's wedding in "Art Attack". Give it a try- you know you want to ;)
A/N: Okay, folks, so this is going in a little weird direction for me. Just, like the synopsis says, give it a try. I really think you'll like it, or at least get weirded out by it. And definitely let me know what you think- 'cause I'm thinking about making it a multi-chapter some time in the future, and I want to know if I'd just be wasting my time or not. Just whatever you do, if you start reading this, please read it through to the end.
My Girl
The first time I met him, I knew I didn't like him. It didn't take me more than 3 seconds to recognize him for what he was- spoiled rich kid in a grown up's body with a point to prove. Nine seconds later, when I found out who he was looking for, I knew my first impression was right. But I didn't give him a lot of thought- didn't think he'd amount to much of a threat.
Tonight I've realized that I hate him. It started when I saw him rolling in like he owned the place. When he demanded to know where she was while barely even acknowledging my presence, it rubbed me wrong. But when I saw her walk in, I knew that I hated him with every atom of my being.
I've never seen her looking like that. She was gorgeous- absolutely gorgeous. I had never even imagined her looking like that before, which is saying something. Because even on a bad day, she is the most beautiful woman in the world, and I've always, always known it. And the way she looked at him- it's been a while since I've wanted to take a man apart piece by painful piece. And it just about killed me how she completely and totally ignored my existence- she didn't even look at me, not for even the barest, briefest of seconds. I hadn't realized I could feel that jealous. I mean, it's not like I expect what I think to have some earth-moving affect on her, but she could have at least pretended. It hurts to think that I'm not important enough for her to even consider my opinion as relevant.
I think what I hate most about him is that he doesn't deserve her, and neither of them know it. I don't think he's even seen the real her- her fire, her courage, her wit, her loyalty, her physical strength that is easily beaten by her strength of character. Most of all, her ethereal spirit. As beautiful as she is on the outside, it doesn't even begin to compare with what's on the inside. Every day, every time I see her, she amazes me.
Unfortunately, life has attacked her so much and so often that she's willing to take whatever scraps it gives her. And meager scraps that he is, he's straight from the table to the begging dog. Or perhaps I should say the begging kitty. Yeah, don't be so surprised that I've noticed- no one can watch her as much as I have without noticing how feline she is- the way she moves, the way she holds herself, the way her mind works sometimes.
And of course the arrogant prat believes that he is better than her, which just pisses me off that much more. It's bad enough that he could consider himself to be on her level, but for him to actually try to play it like he's more noble, more worthy of the good things that life can bring, like he'll ever be able to do as much with his life as she's already done with hers. I just wish that I could help her see how wonderful she is, just by being her (I don't think I'd waste my time trying to open his eyes). She doesn't have to do what he says, run his little games (again- if everyone was as aware of her as I am, then his little secret would totally be out), and I swear if he tries to manipulate her one more time or try to guilt her into doing what he wants, I'm going to lose it. He has no clue what her life has been like- I barely do- so how on earth can he trick himself into thinking that it's alright to be so high-handed with her? What right could he possibly have to judge her? To support and increase her insecurities that no one could accept her for what and who she is? I bet wherever he's taking her tonight, he won't even let her be herself. It wouldn't surprise me if he denies her true person to the point where he even lies to his peers about who she is. What a skell.
I wish so much that I could tell her what I think- what I see in her. Unfortunately, I don't think she'll ever open herself to my opinions- not my real ones anyway. But I can't help but hope- it's what keeps me here in this hellhole. And in the meantime, I interact with her as much as I can, and I hope that she realizes that she's important. I wonder how she's going to react when she finds out just how important she really is 'cause something tells me that one day she will. No one could be as amazing as she is without making a difference in the world. And I try to demonstrate that I care about her and what she's doing, and I worry about her- which is why I constantly ask where she is. Though I think she and her friends misunderstand my interest. You know, she's the reason that I keep them here, too. Because she needs them. Because they're good for her and to her. Because I want her supported by people who would accept the real her, if she would ever open up to them.
Sometimes it scares me how much I love her. I've only ever loved one other person more than I do her. And I lost her. I don't know what I would do if I lost Max. She's become my whole world. Everything I do revolves around her. Even down to building up this business just so that I could be close to her after I found her. Imagine my surprise that afternoon when she came strolling in here looking for a job- I did my best to hide my excitement. To downplay just exactly how much I wanted her here. But inside, the thought of seeing her everyday for hours at a time- I was jumping up and down. I couldn't help it.
I know that I don't deserve her either. As much as I want to keep her all to myself, I know that I can't. And a part of me doesn't want to- I want her to find true happiness, true love. But not with this man- because she never will with him. She can't find true happiness with someone who ignores half of her, who denies what and who she is.
I know who she deserves. I mean, it's not like I've ever met him or anything. But somehow I know that the minute I see him, I'll know it's him. And then all my money will be on him being able to come in and steal her away. Though if he tries to take her away from me, I'll have to deal with him. But, somehow, I'm willing to bet that he won't make that mistake, and I'm not usually a betting man unless I'm sure on what I'm betting on. I can picture him a little in my mind- sandy brown hair, around my height, hazel expressive eyes, a handsome face, a ready smirk, and a wit that can match hers. Actually reminds me of myself when I was just a little older than she is now. And I can just imagine how much fun they'll have snarking at each other- in fact, with how hands off she is, I wouldn't be surprised if arguments took up the majority of the beginning of their relationship. But then, eventually, they'll realize that they can count on each other, that they care about each other, and then they'll finally open up to each other. And then there won't be any turning back for either of them. I can't wait to see her finally happy with someone who can come close to deserving her- though no one will ever be quite good enough for her. And once I've found him, my Golden Boy, I'll do whatever it takes to help protect him for her. They are the only two people in the world that I can imagine ever being willing to take up a gun for again- after everything that I lost last time. I would give up my life to protect them.
Sometimes I'm surprised at how easily I've fit into this life. How no one even seems to question this lifestyle for me. I mean, it's not anything like what I used to have. Would it surprise you to know that I used to be one of the foremost minds in the country? That I have several Ph.D.'s from Harvard, Stanford, and Yale? But that was all before the Pulse. After the Pulse, well… things changed. I probably would still be at the top of this country's broken economy if it hadn't been for her. Or at least I'd still be the big bad that I became after the Pulse, after life became hard, after I lost...- before I found her. But without a second thought, I gave all of that up so that I could come here and become the "bip bip" man. And I'd do it again- without a second thought. Because she's worth it. And having her in my life- well, that's worth anything that I could ever have to give up- well anything except her happiness or safety. I'm willing to do anything to help put a smile on her face. Sometimes I feel like I live for it- maybe I do.
You know, as I think about everything that I've said, I realize just how easy it would be to take it the wrong way. Since you don't know the truth. The very idea of me feeling that way about my Missy Miss sickens me.
Sometimes I wonder what would happen if she ever found out the truth. I know that she's trying to find her brothers and sisters- the cute little rugrats that ran away with her. I wonder what will happen when she finds them. And I know she's spent some time looking for her birth mother. I wonder how she'll react when she finds out what happened to her. But most of all, I have to wonder what would happen if she ever starts looking for one of her fathers?
Tada- muhahaha. I had a lot of fun with this one. Did you notice how much I made reference to the first time Normal saw Alec? Did ya? Huh? Huh? (betting, money on him, etc.)
So, let me know what you thought by pushing that cute little adorable button over there. Did you know that when you push it, you get chocolate and jewels and A's on your report cards? Hmmmmm?
