NCIS

A Hidden Love

Chapter 1.

Christmas lunch:

Following all the running around that the team had been doing involving the Russians and the pregnant marine, it had finally been nice for Tony to sit down to a very nice Christmas dinner with Gibbs, Leila and Amira, although as they sat there eating, he was still trying to puzzle out what Gibbs meant with his remark about him having made the mistake twice now over Wendy.

As far as everyone had known, it had been him that had dropped Wendy before their wedding, but in truth it hadn't been him that had dropped her, it had been Wendy herself that had dropped him on their actual wedding day, yes in some ways he had been tempted to find out what it was that she had wanted, but as he had said to Gibbs he had sat outside the café that they were supposed to have been meeting in, trying to work out whether he should re-visit that past or not, especially as he had been so very hurt about the way she had walked out on him, leaving him at the altar and had walked out on his life for good, or so he thought. Not only that after her walk out on him over the years his love and affection had grown for another person over the years. That person at that precise moment was sitting not a million miles away from where he was sitting and was the one person that was trying to push him back into Wendy's arms once again. What was also confusing him the most was the way that in one breath he was trying to push him into Wendy's arms again, but then he was telling him during their conversation, he'd already told Leila that Tony would be there with them for Christmas dinner, which how on earth did Gibbs know that he would be there with them and that was a couple of weeks ago when he'd done it? Yes he may have ended up just spending most of the day on his own in his apartment, as he had done in previous years, unless of course the team had ended up working through the day if they had been working it. If he had been alone for the day, then at some point he would've ended up going round to Gibbs for a while, they would have then ended up having a drink together, before he would have then ended up inevitably crashing out round there and ending up spending the night in Gibbs spare bed for the night.

Even though Tony was really enjoying himself being there with them all and quite surprisingly Amira turned out to be about the only child that managed to take to him, and did actually like him. He could also sense some tension in the air and could guess that things were going to end up coming to a head before too long. One of the reason that he had never been open to Gibbs about how he felt or even that he was bisexual, which he had known ever since some experimental encounters with men during his time at Ohio State. In his final year there he had fallen for guy called Andy pretty heavily, but then he started to notice how possessive the man started getting as he was coming to the end of his course and trying to decide what he was going to do as a career, especially as it was now looking like he wouldn't be able to play ball professionally, thanks to a certain Brad Pitt breaking his leg in a game. So Andy was trying to persuade him to just take on some dead end job so that they could continue things between them, which is not what he wanted, so after one particular argument between the two of them, he had got out and took himself off to Peoria and had become a cop. Because of the way that non-straight relationships were very frowned upon in those days he had very much hidden that side of his sexuality away and he had made himself very much into the skirt chasing frat boy, that everyone saw him as today. All that changed even though he had still very much kept things hidden when he met Gibbs all those years ago back in Baltimore, and he couldn't deny to himself how much he was attracted to the man instantly. Even so because of 'don't ask don't tell' covering the services they were investigating and even though they were a civilian run organisation, as he had done over the years he just kept his true self hidden for years, along with keeping those feelings that he'd got for Gibbs well and truly hidden away.

In the moment that everything seemed to come to a head for him, was as he was helping Leila with the clearing up after their lunch. He had still got the drying up cloth in his hands, when he found himself standing and leaning against the entry way from the kitchen/diner to the lounge watching as Gibbs and Amira were playing together, and just watching the way that the two of them were interacting together was making him fall in love with Gibbs all the more, even though he had kept his true self hidden away for all these years, and even though with Amira he could see that softer side of Gibbs coming out, he knew that the man was a rough tough hard assed marine, so he never even let it cross his mind that he could also swing both ways, and of course that he would be interested in him of all people in a million years! That was until Leila came creeping up behind him and whispered in his ear "He does love you, you know"

As he came out of his reverie he answered "Mmm?"

She said a little quietly so not to be picked up by the people they were watching "He loves you, and he has done for a very long time, he just won't tell you because he doesn't think that you feel the same way about him, but you do feel the same way don't you?"

He answers with a wry smile "I do."

"Well why don't you make it a Christmas to remember for the both of you and tell him?"

He looks as her and smiles with his reply of "I'll try to, I promise."

Of course after that talk Tony went into his own little world trying to work out how he was going to approach Gibbs about it all and what he was going to say to him, and even though he did remain quiet he did make sure that he bought up the happy mask of his when Amira got him to join in their game as well. The quietness then remained as the two men left and got into the car for their journey back to Gibbs house, but Gibbs didn't push anything and left him alone to his thoughts.

Back to Gibbs:

As they got back to the house once again and as they walked in that silence remained, but as Gibbs turned to close the door behind them after Tony had walked in behind him, he was taken totally by surprise at how close Tony had got to him. The next thing he knew was that Tony had stepped round in front of him, and he then pushed him into the front door closing it, as Tony's lips then met his in a pretty brutal kiss, which he soon found himself responding to with just about the same amount of vigour, before it slowly became a lot softer.

As they finally broke apart it took a minute or two of them both panting for breath as finally Gibbs said "Wow! What was that in aid of?"

To which Tony replied "Because I know how I feel about you and from what I've heard, you feel exactly the same way about me, so I want to know why you have never told me Gibbs?"

With sensing the slight angry tone that has come into Tony's voice, Gibbs knows that he is going to have to tread carefully with his answer, so he takes Tony's hand and guides them over to the sofa, as they both take a seat with him still keeping hold of Tony's hand he finally answers "It's because I never thought that you would feel the same way about me for one thing, and then because of the way that I got so jealous about you and EJ, it was just easier that I pushed you away from me."

"But why make it be Wendy who you were pushing me too?"

Gibbs sighs and replies "Because I felt it was a mistake that you didn't go through with the wedding, and now that she had got the failed marriage behind her and she was asking to see you, I just thought that it would be easier."

All of a sudden with a click Gibbs visibly sees Tony's angry mask come down to be replaced by a look of intense emotions and those beautiful green eyes of his becoming nearly tearful, as Tony eventually takes a breath and says "Well that is a wrong choice by miles… I know that you all thought that it was me that the one to end it with her, but it wasn't. She was the one that did it and she left me on our wedding day of all things. To be precise she actually left me at the altar, leaving her father to actually give me the news, along with the letter that she had written to me, which said in it that she wasn't actually ready for marriage yet, and that she hadn't got any interest in beginning a new life together here in DC. I was so hurt, especially as it was on top of all the Danny stuff too, but I had also fallen in love you and I tried so hard to deny that I had these feelings for you, especially as at the time I thought that me and Wendy were going to be getting married, and it just got to the point where it was just hurting too much for me to actually tell you the truth about how I felt. Then as the years have gone by it's just got harder and harder to tell you the truth because of various circumstances and of course I never thought that you would be interested in me in any way."

Gibbs then breaks his own rule as he says "I am so sorry Tony, if I had have known then I wouldn't have told you that you had made a mistake with her the first time round. So I'm guessing that you being quiet all afternoon was because Leila told you about how I felt about you?"

"She did, but how did she know about it?"

Gibbs answers "Well she sort of guessed that there may be something with the way that I put her and Amira with you at Mike's funeral, but she also noticed some of the ways that we were interacting when we came back here afterwards. So one day she asked me and I just told her the truth, but she is the only person that I have told about this. So the question is, are we or are we not going to do this?"

Tony sighs and replies "I love you Jethro and I think that we've wasted too much time already, so I think we should, because I do want to make a go at us."

Gibbs then shifts a bit closer to him and says "And so do I, but I must warn you Tony that I can be a bit of a possessive bastard."

"So can I if I am pushed."

Gibbs says "But you don't know how bad I can be."

"Well I can't see you being as possessive as my one and only relationship with a man was years ago, so I am prepared for anything, and I don't think you could be as bad as he was."

He cups Tony's cheek and asks "How bad did it get?"

"Well let's just say that I was lucky and could see the path that he was trying to take me down, in that he was starting to try and control every aspect of my life, like trying to get me to take on just a dead end job, stop me seeing my friends and things like that, so in the end I just got out of it and disappeared off to Peoria. Don't get me wrong there were times when I did doubt myself and what we were doing, especially if we were out together and someone had flirted with me, even if I hadn't flirted back the green eyed monster would come out in him, but when we got home we would have some great sex, because of the way that jealousy and possessiveness would come out in him… but then the next morning it would be an instant flip of the coin, because his temper would then come out and he'd be yelling at me that I wasn't allowed to go anywhere near that person again, even if it had been just a random person that had been flirting with me, and possibly a person that I would never see again. We'd end up having this really big shouting match and he would always seem to get right in my face as he yelled, I'd then end up shoving him away and he'd go storming off to cool down. Then I started to notice that if we went out with the frat boys or just some friends of mine, and they started to get over familiar with me. When we got home rather than fly off the handle at me straight away or whatever, he would end up just sitting there stewing it over in his head, then after a while he would just start trying to get into my head and telling me that I wasn't to make contact with that person anymore. He was never rough with me or anything like that until the final time, when he attempted it, as someone I had turned down in the past and that was before we had got together as well, did try things on when we managed to meet one night. When we got home we had a blazing row, and during it he tried to pin me against a wall to hit me, I somehow got him off me and yelled at him to get out, as I actually chucked him out the door. As soon as he was gone I then packed my bags and wrote him a letter saying it was over and disappeared off to join Peoria PD."

Gibbs takes his hands once again as he says "I promise you Tony that I will never get as bad as that, but if we are going to do this then I will say that I do expect there to be a complete commitment to us."

Tony responds with a smile "You know me Gibbs, I'm Italian and a lot of the flirting is already in-built with me, but even if it does come out, I promise you that I am completely loyal, yes I know that with my past it might not seem like I can commit to anyone and that I don't do commitment, but when I am with the right person I am committed to them, which is probably why I have been the way I have been because I knew that I had met the right person, but I didn't think that he would be interested in me or a relationship. You know me though Gibbs I do have my insecurities, which is probably why I wouldn't admit it to you how I felt, because in a way I was also afraid that I would loose what we had, as well as loosing my job."

"I promise you that whatever happens with us you will never loose what we have, I will fight for everything if it comes to that, including your insecurities, but you must learn to open your mouth, as I know that there are times when you think that I can read your mind, but I really can't and I will need to know when things are troubling you."

Tony sighs and responds "I promise that I will try to, but you'll probably be able to guess if there's something up anyway, as I'll either go quiet on you or I'll start yabbering away… So you're really sure about this Gibbs?"

With that Gibbs squeezes his hand and pulls him along the sofa a bit so that they're closer together, as he says "I am very sure Tony; I want this, us and you."

As Tony then sees the ever growing lust reflected back into his eyes from Gibbs, he does a hard swallow and as the two of them get even closer together, as finally their lips meet in a slow first kiss, which as it continues starts to become more and more heated.

Eventually as the kiss continued Tony felt himself being taken slowly backwards so that he was laying back on the sofa with Gibbs on top of him and as the kiss continued he moaned into it as he felt Gibbs knee that had ended up between his legs brush against his ever hardening cock.

As the two of them eventually broke for air, he was then taken a bit by surprise as he could feel Gibbs hands exploring his chest and upper body, as he then began to wonder how the hell Gibbs had managed to so stealthily undo the button on his shirt without him having even felt it.

With the exploration continuing Gibbs kept finding his favourite spots to be touched in and also his hot spots, making the groans and sighs begin to slip out of his mouth more and more.

As Gibbs mouth descended down onto his neck and along his collar bone, he managed to hit one of his hot spots, making him groan and arch up, with his hands finding their way into Gibbs hair at the back of his head, as he pushed him into his neck more with wanting more.

Eventually as he wanted more access to Gibbs and wanting to touch him all the more, Tony found his way with his hands to the collar on Gibbs and as he tugged on it he growled out "Off."

As he left Tony's neck and sat up on his knees, he stripped off both his shirt and the t-shirt underneath, he then couldn't help the smirk that appeared on his lips that appeared, as he watched Tony's eyes roam over his naked chest and also the way that Tony licked his lips.

Things did eventually move to the bedroom, following a few attempts at a fight for dominance between the two of them, as well as them nearly ending up on the floor through them. So they had finally ended up with both of their jeans and buckles open and loose as they ended up making a dash for things up the stairs.

By the time Gibbs got into the bedroom just slightly behind Tony, it was to find him with his jeans and boxers around his ankles just about going to step out of them, to which he stopped and watched as Tony unfolded himself after getting out of them, as Gibbs started to leer over the now naked body in front of him, making him now get out of his own jeans and boxers in double quick time.

As they finally came to make love for their fist time, and were coming down from their highs afterwards, after doing a clean up they settled down in each others arms and as Tony yawned and sighed contentedly, as he finally dropped off to sleep he found himself thinking about Leila's words to him and had to think that yes it had been a Christmas to remember after all.

A/N: This is the second story that I've started to work on as I'm starting to get a bit of my writing bug back again &

as well as working on this & also You Needed Me, I am starting to work towards wanting to work on other stories &

get them completed. Also not written any Tibbs stories for a while & just felt that I wanted to do something else for

a change! Xxx. :0)