1 Terms of Endearment
by ex-angel
A/N: My first fanfic…so go easy on me. I haven't had much practice, so cut me a little slack.
Disclaimer: I don't own, nor do I have anything to do with Gundam Wing..yeah, I
wish! Whenever I get in on a part of Gwing, I'll give all of you my autograph.
Timeline: After Endless Waltz, at the end of the war.
Pairings: 1x2x1
~denotes thoughts~
*~*~*~*
Duo walked through the door and into the deserted chapel, leaving behind the franticness of the Emergency ward. The sunlight filtered through the windows, shattering into the full spectrum as it passed through the colored glass. The cross hanging at the front of the warm room commanded the attention to itself. He slumped into the small wooden pew, memories of Sister Helen flooding his mind. Duo fingered his braid, a small tear hanging in the corner of his eye, threatening to fall.
~Why?~ he thought. ~How would a God that people believed in let his own followers be destroyed? How could people believe in such things? Why would someone give their life for beliefs that couldn't be proven? Was that why he survived? Because he didn't believe?~
The hatred of the believers' God ran deep in his heart, where no hatred had ever run before. Their God had taken away the people he cared for, brutally interrupting his life once again.
Duo wiped his eye, quickly eliminating the tear, as he heard the door open, and Heero walk in. The pain and tiredness were etched into Heero's face, his eyes dull instead of the normal intense cobalt. It had been almost 48 hours, and it still hadn't hit what was going on. Heero didn't realize, didn't understand, that his precious Relena was lying in a coma in room 7 of the ICU.
A slow, sad smile spread over Duo's face, trying his best to be the supporter. The two wing pilots simply looked at each other, for what seemed to be an eternity.
"Any change?"
The inevitable shake of the Japanese boy's head sent a twinge of guilt through Duo's heart. He knew Heero loved Relena, but didn't he love Heero, too? The long war had sent the two plummeting headlong into the relationship, both needing the comfort and love of each other. But did that have any meaning now? Duo's heart said it did, but his mind pleaded to just let it be.
Heero just stood, staring at the cross. He had never believed in God, knowing that religious beliefs could be the weakness of him, the perfect soldier. He felt a gentle tug on his hand, and allowed himself to be guided gently into the braided boy's arms. Heero felt the tears welling in his eyes, but he would not allow them to fall. Duo's arm snaked around Heero's waist, pulling him into a full embrace. Heero returned the gesture, clinging to Duo like a small lost child.
After minutes of silent embrace, the boys stood in unison and left the peace of the secluded chapel, entering again into the chaos of the ward.
They walked in silence to room 7, the steady cadence of the machines greeting them as they entered the room. The masses of cords hung, entangled with each other, like a jungle of vines. The small round electrodes almost blended with Relena's pale skin, her eyes stayed fallen, giving her an almost angelic appearance. The doctors said it was only a matter of time before her body just gave up and stopped, just couldn't take any more.
The attack had been a shock to everyone. After the war, everyone thought that terrorism was a thing of the past. Everyone had thought wrong.
The terrorists had chosen the most populated part of the colony as their target-the government facilities. Relena had been there when the attack occurred, hit by falling debris. She had been barely conscious when the rescue squad had found her, but had lost it in the ambulance en route to the hospital. She had never regained consciousness, but instead had slipped into a deep coma.
And here she now lay, still and silent. The normal bright smile was now washed away, the thin lips set in a straight line. The mechanical beeps were like the whisper of death, flitting through the air. Duo felt this whisper as he walked into the room, death meeting death. Heero's face dropped at the sight of his love looking this way.
~It is time,~ he thought. ~There is no more for her here. No more reason to live, except to live in death.~
Heero turned slowly to Duo, a sigh rasping through his lips. Duo knew it was time. He knew he should stay to support the Japanese boy, but he knew also he couldn't watch. He slipped quietly through the door and went to the waiting room.
Heero tenderly grasped Relena's hand as the doctors removed the electrodes from her temples and the IV drip from her left arm. The room fell suddenly silent as the machines were disabled. Heero watched Relena's chest fall for the last time; the breath forced out of her lungs one more time after the ventilator was turned off. The doctors left the room, leaving Heero alone with his beloved. Relena's placid expression was the last thing Heero saw as he pulled the crisp white sheet over her face.
"I love you," he whispered brokenly. A single tear fell, scattering into oblivion as it hit the white tile floor.
*~*~*~*
The car ride home was taken in complete silence, each boy looking out his respective window as the taxi rolled down the busy street.
The house was dark and empty, having been deserted for the past two days and nights. Duo glided through the darkness, following the familiar route to his room. He quickly readied for bed, exhausted. He switched off the light and fell into the bed, waiting for sleep to claim him. Instead he heard the sound of footsteps approaching his bed. Heero climbed into the vacant side, and immediately pressed into Duo, the comfortable warmth a welcome feeling to both of them. Duo looked down into Heero's face, glowing softly in the moonlight. The Japanese boy simply looked back, blinking, but not breaking the gaze. He lifted himself onto his elbows, wisps of black hair tickling the American's face as Heero hovered over him. Duo pulled his head off the pillow, their lips connecting, working in unison. The kiss broke, both boys breathing deeply. Heero dropped his head onto Duo's chest, feeling and hearing the beat of his heart. They held each other tightly, drifting into a fitful sleep.
Heero dreamt he was running after Relena, unable to catch her even though she didn't seem to be running away from him. He instead met with Duo, giving up the chase of Relena. As Heero stopped, he looked at Relena, tears running down her face, eyes pleading for him to continue after her. He didn't comply, however, but instead forgot about the chase to join Duo.
Duo's dreams were haunted with visions of Heero lying in a hospital bed, unconscious. Machines surrounded him, beeping constantly in a strange, dissonant melody. His face was pale, barely contrasting with the white hospital sheets. The doctors came in, and began to unhook the machines. Duo pleaded with them to stop, but the doctors continued, unaware of Duo's cries. Duo's arms subconsciously tightened around Heero in his sleep.
*~*~*~*
Sunlight sliced through the darkness, hitting Duo's eyes as he blinked blearily. The two boys' limbs tangled about each other comfortably. Duo didn't move, but instead listened to Heero's slow, steady breathing, feeling the heat in the crook of his neck each time the other boy exhaled. Once again, the twinge of guilt slighted his heart. He felt bad for the comfort he felt, knowing the pain Heero would be encountering. The guilt passed, and Duo slowly slid out of bed, careful not to disturb the still- sleeping Heero. He padded silently into the bathroom, showering, then rebraiding his hair. As he stepped into the hall, the gaze of the Japanese boy's intense cobalt eyes met him. Heero approached him, his arms encircling Duo's waist, lips brushing his cheek, then walking past him into the bathroom.
*~*~*~*
The day had been spent with sympathetic visitors, all coming to express their feelings for the boys, especially Heero. At dusk, the house was littered with flowers and "Sympathy" cards. The boys slowly walked into what used to be Heero and Relena's room. Heero stopped in the doorway, his gaze scanning the space, not landing on anything in particular. The two worked into the night, carefully packing away and moving all of Relena's belongings into the attic. The last box was set in place just as the moon set into the horizon, leaving the night a thick black.
Heero and Duo climbed into their respective sides of the bed, both completely exhausted. Duo felt the bed tremble as Heero began to shudder, physically crying. Tears, however, did not stain the Japanese boy's face. The shudders continued, even after Heero slept. Duo, however, was awake into the early hours of the morning, his heart dropping lower in his chest with each passing minute as he felt the bed jolt beneath him.
He couldn't stand it anymore. Duo had never seen Heero this way, and he just couldn't take it. If Heero couldn't be strong anymore, how could Duo even pretend to be strong? He knew that he could never replace Relena for Heero, and that whenever they made love, or even held each other, Relena would be in the back of Heero's mind. He slipped out of bed and walked into the living room, slouching into the couch. He gently fingered the gun sitting next to him. Duo couldn't decide…in the mouth? the temple? the classic through the heart? Not that it mattered. He would go to Hell, wherever the bullet pierced his flesh. He felt the cold weight of the gun in his hand as he released the safety. He placed the gun to his temple, finally deciding on the gun's position. He secretly hoped Heero would understand, and, maybe, forgive him. Duo knew he was weak, unlike Heero, who was strong. Duo's finger squeezed the trigger, but no shot rang out. The gun was wrenched from his hand just as the trigger was about to click, stopping the spark from reaching the gunpowder. Duo opened his eyes to see Heero setting the gun down, giving him a hard look.
"Baka!" Heero whispered fiercely. In one smooth motion, he scooped the shocked American into his arms, carried him into the bedroom, and threw him onto the bed. For a moment, the two's eyes locked, Heero's flickering anger, Duo's gleaming with surprised fear. Heero was then upon Duo, kissing him hard, his hands grasping the braided boy's wrists. After a moment of pure confusion, Duo returned the kiss. The two bodies worked together, moving up and down in unison, hips grinding against each other. Hands moved about wildly, searching for the touch of flesh. The oxygen heaved in and out of the boys' lungs. Heero's hips thrusted against Duo, both of them feeling the ecstasy of the pressure inside.
Heero fell into Duo's arms, their hearts pounding against their chests, which were rising and falling as one.
"I love you," Duo whispered, just as sleep claimed them both.
*~*~*~*
The next day the other 3 pilots arrived. Trowa and Quatre walked in the front door, hands clasped together.
"Sorry it took so long for us to get here," Quatre spoke. His voice was slow and unsure, now knowing really what to say.
"We're so sorry about Relena," Trowa said, his arm encircling the blonde's waist. Heero simply nodded once, gravely.
Wufei walked in moments later, finding the others standing in silence. "Sorry about your loss," he said simply, eyes searching the floor. The all stood, searching for words.
"She no longer feels any pain," Heero finally broke the silence. "It's better this way." He felt Duo's fingers intertwine with his own, and he squeezed his hand.
"I'm glad you've found a way to accept her death," this time Quatre's voice came surer. "Just remember she's in a better place." Everyone nodded in agreement.
"I sure hope so," Duo added, thoughtfully, searching Heero's face for signs of pain. He saw none, and let his gaze wander across the other boys' faces.
The war had changed them all inside, exposing them to the harsh realities of the world. On the outside, however, they all looked like normal teenage boys. Duo knew they were all lucky they had survived, and looking into each boy's eyes, he knew the rest of them new as well.
They passed the time by sitting around, talking about their lives, the war, and memories. Occasionally peals of laughter would ring through the house, temporarily masking the grief that hung in the air. Mostly, though, the conversation was the losses that each boy had suffered in his lifetime.
By the time the sun set and the other boys had left, the mood of the house had been lifted substantially. Duo and Heero walked into the American's room, which they now shared, holding hands. They cuddled against one another, their body warmth mingling together. As sleep claimed them, dreams flashed into each boy's mind.
Duo dreamt of simply holding Heero close to him, the guilt no longer invading his heart. Instead, a feeling of calm and serenity washed over him. A small smile formed on his lips, knowing he could stay like this forever.
Heero dreamt that he stood before Relena's grave, bending down to place a single rose on the headstone. He knew he could let go of her no, and final closure filled his heart. He turned away from the headstone and walked to the gate, where Duo was waiting for him.
*~*~*~*
by ex-angel
A/N: My first fanfic…so go easy on me. I haven't had much practice, so cut me a little slack.
Disclaimer: I don't own, nor do I have anything to do with Gundam Wing..yeah, I
wish! Whenever I get in on a part of Gwing, I'll give all of you my autograph.
Timeline: After Endless Waltz, at the end of the war.
Pairings: 1x2x1
~denotes thoughts~
*~*~*~*
Duo walked through the door and into the deserted chapel, leaving behind the franticness of the Emergency ward. The sunlight filtered through the windows, shattering into the full spectrum as it passed through the colored glass. The cross hanging at the front of the warm room commanded the attention to itself. He slumped into the small wooden pew, memories of Sister Helen flooding his mind. Duo fingered his braid, a small tear hanging in the corner of his eye, threatening to fall.
~Why?~ he thought. ~How would a God that people believed in let his own followers be destroyed? How could people believe in such things? Why would someone give their life for beliefs that couldn't be proven? Was that why he survived? Because he didn't believe?~
The hatred of the believers' God ran deep in his heart, where no hatred had ever run before. Their God had taken away the people he cared for, brutally interrupting his life once again.
Duo wiped his eye, quickly eliminating the tear, as he heard the door open, and Heero walk in. The pain and tiredness were etched into Heero's face, his eyes dull instead of the normal intense cobalt. It had been almost 48 hours, and it still hadn't hit what was going on. Heero didn't realize, didn't understand, that his precious Relena was lying in a coma in room 7 of the ICU.
A slow, sad smile spread over Duo's face, trying his best to be the supporter. The two wing pilots simply looked at each other, for what seemed to be an eternity.
"Any change?"
The inevitable shake of the Japanese boy's head sent a twinge of guilt through Duo's heart. He knew Heero loved Relena, but didn't he love Heero, too? The long war had sent the two plummeting headlong into the relationship, both needing the comfort and love of each other. But did that have any meaning now? Duo's heart said it did, but his mind pleaded to just let it be.
Heero just stood, staring at the cross. He had never believed in God, knowing that religious beliefs could be the weakness of him, the perfect soldier. He felt a gentle tug on his hand, and allowed himself to be guided gently into the braided boy's arms. Heero felt the tears welling in his eyes, but he would not allow them to fall. Duo's arm snaked around Heero's waist, pulling him into a full embrace. Heero returned the gesture, clinging to Duo like a small lost child.
After minutes of silent embrace, the boys stood in unison and left the peace of the secluded chapel, entering again into the chaos of the ward.
They walked in silence to room 7, the steady cadence of the machines greeting them as they entered the room. The masses of cords hung, entangled with each other, like a jungle of vines. The small round electrodes almost blended with Relena's pale skin, her eyes stayed fallen, giving her an almost angelic appearance. The doctors said it was only a matter of time before her body just gave up and stopped, just couldn't take any more.
The attack had been a shock to everyone. After the war, everyone thought that terrorism was a thing of the past. Everyone had thought wrong.
The terrorists had chosen the most populated part of the colony as their target-the government facilities. Relena had been there when the attack occurred, hit by falling debris. She had been barely conscious when the rescue squad had found her, but had lost it in the ambulance en route to the hospital. She had never regained consciousness, but instead had slipped into a deep coma.
And here she now lay, still and silent. The normal bright smile was now washed away, the thin lips set in a straight line. The mechanical beeps were like the whisper of death, flitting through the air. Duo felt this whisper as he walked into the room, death meeting death. Heero's face dropped at the sight of his love looking this way.
~It is time,~ he thought. ~There is no more for her here. No more reason to live, except to live in death.~
Heero turned slowly to Duo, a sigh rasping through his lips. Duo knew it was time. He knew he should stay to support the Japanese boy, but he knew also he couldn't watch. He slipped quietly through the door and went to the waiting room.
Heero tenderly grasped Relena's hand as the doctors removed the electrodes from her temples and the IV drip from her left arm. The room fell suddenly silent as the machines were disabled. Heero watched Relena's chest fall for the last time; the breath forced out of her lungs one more time after the ventilator was turned off. The doctors left the room, leaving Heero alone with his beloved. Relena's placid expression was the last thing Heero saw as he pulled the crisp white sheet over her face.
"I love you," he whispered brokenly. A single tear fell, scattering into oblivion as it hit the white tile floor.
*~*~*~*
The car ride home was taken in complete silence, each boy looking out his respective window as the taxi rolled down the busy street.
The house was dark and empty, having been deserted for the past two days and nights. Duo glided through the darkness, following the familiar route to his room. He quickly readied for bed, exhausted. He switched off the light and fell into the bed, waiting for sleep to claim him. Instead he heard the sound of footsteps approaching his bed. Heero climbed into the vacant side, and immediately pressed into Duo, the comfortable warmth a welcome feeling to both of them. Duo looked down into Heero's face, glowing softly in the moonlight. The Japanese boy simply looked back, blinking, but not breaking the gaze. He lifted himself onto his elbows, wisps of black hair tickling the American's face as Heero hovered over him. Duo pulled his head off the pillow, their lips connecting, working in unison. The kiss broke, both boys breathing deeply. Heero dropped his head onto Duo's chest, feeling and hearing the beat of his heart. They held each other tightly, drifting into a fitful sleep.
Heero dreamt he was running after Relena, unable to catch her even though she didn't seem to be running away from him. He instead met with Duo, giving up the chase of Relena. As Heero stopped, he looked at Relena, tears running down her face, eyes pleading for him to continue after her. He didn't comply, however, but instead forgot about the chase to join Duo.
Duo's dreams were haunted with visions of Heero lying in a hospital bed, unconscious. Machines surrounded him, beeping constantly in a strange, dissonant melody. His face was pale, barely contrasting with the white hospital sheets. The doctors came in, and began to unhook the machines. Duo pleaded with them to stop, but the doctors continued, unaware of Duo's cries. Duo's arms subconsciously tightened around Heero in his sleep.
*~*~*~*
Sunlight sliced through the darkness, hitting Duo's eyes as he blinked blearily. The two boys' limbs tangled about each other comfortably. Duo didn't move, but instead listened to Heero's slow, steady breathing, feeling the heat in the crook of his neck each time the other boy exhaled. Once again, the twinge of guilt slighted his heart. He felt bad for the comfort he felt, knowing the pain Heero would be encountering. The guilt passed, and Duo slowly slid out of bed, careful not to disturb the still- sleeping Heero. He padded silently into the bathroom, showering, then rebraiding his hair. As he stepped into the hall, the gaze of the Japanese boy's intense cobalt eyes met him. Heero approached him, his arms encircling Duo's waist, lips brushing his cheek, then walking past him into the bathroom.
*~*~*~*
The day had been spent with sympathetic visitors, all coming to express their feelings for the boys, especially Heero. At dusk, the house was littered with flowers and "Sympathy" cards. The boys slowly walked into what used to be Heero and Relena's room. Heero stopped in the doorway, his gaze scanning the space, not landing on anything in particular. The two worked into the night, carefully packing away and moving all of Relena's belongings into the attic. The last box was set in place just as the moon set into the horizon, leaving the night a thick black.
Heero and Duo climbed into their respective sides of the bed, both completely exhausted. Duo felt the bed tremble as Heero began to shudder, physically crying. Tears, however, did not stain the Japanese boy's face. The shudders continued, even after Heero slept. Duo, however, was awake into the early hours of the morning, his heart dropping lower in his chest with each passing minute as he felt the bed jolt beneath him.
He couldn't stand it anymore. Duo had never seen Heero this way, and he just couldn't take it. If Heero couldn't be strong anymore, how could Duo even pretend to be strong? He knew that he could never replace Relena for Heero, and that whenever they made love, or even held each other, Relena would be in the back of Heero's mind. He slipped out of bed and walked into the living room, slouching into the couch. He gently fingered the gun sitting next to him. Duo couldn't decide…in the mouth? the temple? the classic through the heart? Not that it mattered. He would go to Hell, wherever the bullet pierced his flesh. He felt the cold weight of the gun in his hand as he released the safety. He placed the gun to his temple, finally deciding on the gun's position. He secretly hoped Heero would understand, and, maybe, forgive him. Duo knew he was weak, unlike Heero, who was strong. Duo's finger squeezed the trigger, but no shot rang out. The gun was wrenched from his hand just as the trigger was about to click, stopping the spark from reaching the gunpowder. Duo opened his eyes to see Heero setting the gun down, giving him a hard look.
"Baka!" Heero whispered fiercely. In one smooth motion, he scooped the shocked American into his arms, carried him into the bedroom, and threw him onto the bed. For a moment, the two's eyes locked, Heero's flickering anger, Duo's gleaming with surprised fear. Heero was then upon Duo, kissing him hard, his hands grasping the braided boy's wrists. After a moment of pure confusion, Duo returned the kiss. The two bodies worked together, moving up and down in unison, hips grinding against each other. Hands moved about wildly, searching for the touch of flesh. The oxygen heaved in and out of the boys' lungs. Heero's hips thrusted against Duo, both of them feeling the ecstasy of the pressure inside.
Heero fell into Duo's arms, their hearts pounding against their chests, which were rising and falling as one.
"I love you," Duo whispered, just as sleep claimed them both.
*~*~*~*
The next day the other 3 pilots arrived. Trowa and Quatre walked in the front door, hands clasped together.
"Sorry it took so long for us to get here," Quatre spoke. His voice was slow and unsure, now knowing really what to say.
"We're so sorry about Relena," Trowa said, his arm encircling the blonde's waist. Heero simply nodded once, gravely.
Wufei walked in moments later, finding the others standing in silence. "Sorry about your loss," he said simply, eyes searching the floor. The all stood, searching for words.
"She no longer feels any pain," Heero finally broke the silence. "It's better this way." He felt Duo's fingers intertwine with his own, and he squeezed his hand.
"I'm glad you've found a way to accept her death," this time Quatre's voice came surer. "Just remember she's in a better place." Everyone nodded in agreement.
"I sure hope so," Duo added, thoughtfully, searching Heero's face for signs of pain. He saw none, and let his gaze wander across the other boys' faces.
The war had changed them all inside, exposing them to the harsh realities of the world. On the outside, however, they all looked like normal teenage boys. Duo knew they were all lucky they had survived, and looking into each boy's eyes, he knew the rest of them new as well.
They passed the time by sitting around, talking about their lives, the war, and memories. Occasionally peals of laughter would ring through the house, temporarily masking the grief that hung in the air. Mostly, though, the conversation was the losses that each boy had suffered in his lifetime.
By the time the sun set and the other boys had left, the mood of the house had been lifted substantially. Duo and Heero walked into the American's room, which they now shared, holding hands. They cuddled against one another, their body warmth mingling together. As sleep claimed them, dreams flashed into each boy's mind.
Duo dreamt of simply holding Heero close to him, the guilt no longer invading his heart. Instead, a feeling of calm and serenity washed over him. A small smile formed on his lips, knowing he could stay like this forever.
Heero dreamt that he stood before Relena's grave, bending down to place a single rose on the headstone. He knew he could let go of her no, and final closure filled his heart. He turned away from the headstone and walked to the gate, where Duo was waiting for him.
*~*~*~*