A/N: This is just a short drabble I wrote for a Christmas drabble meme. Thought I'd post it for the world to enjoy.
Disclaimer: I own not a gorram thing. It all belongs to Whedon/Mutant Enemy et al.
Pumpin' Pistols
"But, Cap'n," Kaylee wheedled, "Maleck's offering us a real good deal on them booster thrusts and Serenity's been itchin' for a new pair for months."
Mal shook his head while his mouth continued to chew his food, or rather the protein matter shaped to look like food. His speech was muffled by a full mouth when he replied, "I already told you, Kaylee, we ain't be havin' the means. Way I see it, you've kept her in the sky without 'em until now, keep doin' it."
The mechanic opened her mouth to argue further but was cut off by Mal. "I've spoke my piece. Now, I don't want be hearin' no more about Maleck's fei-oo parts, alright?"
Heaving a sigh, Kaylee slouched and poked her dinner with her fork before muttering, "Yes, Cap'n."
"Seems to me, the last time we had this ruttin' conversation, we all almost died, Mal," Jayne broke into the conversation from down the table where he was bent over his dinner. "I say we get the parts."
Realizing he wouldn't get any peace until this was resolved, Mal set down his fork, crossed his arms and leaned back in his chair. "And how would you propose we finance this venture, Jayne?"
"Hell, Mal, I ain't no stranger to pumpin' pistols and I've seen a grown man cry for wanting what I got."
Conversations that had hardly bowed to the recurrent pissing contest between the two men now came to a screeching halt as everyone turned to stare at the mercenary.
Wash broke the silence, his tone incredulous,"Shuh muh?"
Jayne didn't look up from his plate, just shrugged as he transferred food from fork to mouth. "I know what ya'll are thinking and don't think I'm keen on the notion but if its between that and suffocatin', well, I reckon I can't afford to be sentimental."
"That's mighty...sacfricin' of ya, Jayne," Zoe struggled to find the right words through her shock. "But I don't think that booster thrusts are that important." She shot a look at Kaylee, who jumped to support her in light of recent developments.
"She's right, Jayne. They'd just be nice is all, its not life threatening or anything."
"Nah, we might as well get 'em," Jayne continued still unmoved. "I probably should have done this a long time ago, get me a bit of scratch."
"You'll have to forgive me," Simon cut in, hoping to shed some light on the situation. "but I have no idea what any of you are talking about."
Jayne finally looked up to sneer at Simon, "I'm talkin' about selling some gorram guns, yo bun duh. What'd you think I was talkin' about?"