Disclaimer: Mai Hime and Mai Otome, don't belong to me, they belong to Sunrise. The song, 'Cuts like a knife' belongs to Rockwell.
A sequel to my other story, 'Apologize'. Thank you to those who read and reviewed AND to those who read but either too sad to review or too shy to review. :p Apologies to those who felt down after reading it. I hope all of you will like this sequel.
This is just a fan fiction. The characters in this story is not related to any living people unless by purely coincidental. Please don't sue me.
Natsuki's POV:
10 years had passed since that night. I do think about you sometimes, especially when I'm alone and not so busy with my work. Many things had changed around me, places, friends and including me. Here I am in my office after a long 4 hours in surgery. I was happy that the patient survived and his family was happy when I broke the news to them.
I am 28 years old now and a successful doctor who graduated earlier than most people of my age. Most probably, I had concentrated so much in my life after you left me that night. It was just an excuse for me to run away from the memories of you. I'm just a coward deep inside when it comes to matters of the heart. I wonder...
'Knock, knock'
"Come in!" I yelled after I got startled out of my deep thoughts. The person entered and happened to be one of my nurses in the hospital.
"Hey, Natsuki, do you want to eat dinner with me and Mikoto?" Mai asked me when she entered my office.
My close friend, Mai, she is still unmarried and Mikoto is forever hanging around her. She works here at the same hospital. She wanted to be a nurse to care for people like how she cares for her friends. Well, Mikoto and her are together as a couple, and many times, I wonder if our situation would be the same as theirs if I had enough courage to tell you on that night.
"Natsuki?" Mai called out to me when I drifted off to my own world again.
"Huh? Oh, sorry. I was just thinking about something. I don't think I can make it tonight, I have some more work to be done. Thanks, anyways." I told her and smiled at her to show her that I'm feeling fine.
"Alright then, don't work too hard and have a good rest later." Mai waved goodbye to me and went out of my office.
I'm thankful for a friend like her. I could go crazy if she wasn't there for me. I decided to go through my documents that were piling on my desk before I leave.
2 hours later, I had gone through most of the documents and I was getting tired. I left the office and got into the car to drive home. But I'm in no mood to be home yet.
So I drove through the night and let the radio played in my car, yes, my beautiful silver Porsche Carrera GT. Haha, Kuga Natsuki, is driving a car now. If someone had told me that in the past, I would be laughing about it or I would just glared at the person. Well, my Porsche is still a fast car. I had no choice but to drive now since I couldn't ride anymore after the accident. Yes, I was involved in an accident.
Here I am, all alone, driving along the road towards the place that held many bittersweet memories. I will always come here whenever I miss you.
This is the place where I would always bring you along during my rides after school. I felt free with the wind when I was riding with you in the past. There was something about you that always managed to calm me down deep inside. When I arrived at the cliff, I got out from my car but let the radio played on. They happened to play one of the saddest songs in history and it happened to be the one that sang what I felt right now.
You touched my life
with a softness in the night
my wish was your command
until you ran
out of love
I tell my self I'm free
got the change of living just for me
no need to carry on
now that you're gone
CHORUS
Knife
cuts like a knife
how will I ever heal
I'm so deeply wounded
knife
cuts like a knife
you cut away the heart of my life
Flashback
After you left me at the park, the rain started to fall. It became heavier but I still forced myself to get on my bike to ride away from that place. I rode fast even when it was raining and the roads were slippery but I trusted my skills. I was devastated and had to clear my head.
Suddenly, there was some roadwork ahead of me and I couldn't stop on time before the sign. I turned to the left side of the roadwork and there was a coming car. I avoided it but I skidded and fell with my bike. I didn't know how far I went down with my bike from the roadwork but I knew it seemed a while before I got separated from my bike and came to a stop. I heard a loud explosion before I lost my consciousness.
The loud siren from the ambulance woke me up after I had been unconscious on the roadside. I saw a few people around me when I opened my eyes and I tried to get up but I couldn't, my body refused to listen to me. I asked myself, what happened and I couldn't remember except that I was feeling very tired and decided to close my eyes again. Maybe I should just rest for a while…
The next thing I knew, I was in a hospital bed. I opened my eyes and heard some noises before I saw clearly what was before me. Familiar voices… When I saw clearly, Mai and Mikoto were by my side and they were relieved to see me awake. I tried to look around the room and was upset that I didn't see you. My eyes were filled with tears but I refused to let them spilled.
How I wish I could see you again but you told me that everything was over. I missed you but I refused to show it in front of my friends.
Mai sensed my sadness and told me that she had tried to call you but she couldn't reach you. I was told that Nao had gone over to your place, she had knocked a number of times on your door but there was no answer. I think she could have disturbed your neighbors when one of them informed her that you had moved away.
I just nodded at Mai and smiled at her. She was a good friend and I didn't blame her for not being able to get hold of you.
You who could just appeared in my life in less than a minute and I am not surprised when you disappeared just like that.
I stayed in the hospital for a couple of months for my recovery, it was a serious accident, and I couldn't walk and needed to go through physiotherapy. I was in a lot of pain.
My friends came by to keep me company everyday. Nao would always try to irritate me to make me become normal again. She was kind to let me vent my frustrations on her but she denied about helping me though.
Mai would always bring along her famous ramen and extra mayonnaise without the doctor's knowledge and she had to make extras to keep Mikoto away from my food.
During my stay in the hospital, I looked around me that there was so much in life that I could do. There were so many sick people who needed help and from there, I realized my true calling. I decided to study to become a doctor just like my mother, except that I would be using my knowledge to save more human lives.
End of flashback
When I pretend when I smile Oh oh oh oh oh ... I try and try locking up
to fool my dearest friends
I wonder if they know
it's just a show
I'm on a stage day or night
through my charades
but how can I disguise
what's in my eyes
(Repeat CHORUS)
the pain I feel inside
the pain of wanting you
wanting you
For those who didn't know me, they see me as a young successful doctor who has everything in her life. I dated quite a few people, men and women. They were attractive but the feelings were never the same as those I had with you.
People always looked at me as being cold and distant outside of the hospital. What they didn't know was that a little warmth from you, could melt me away. No one knew anyways, not even those who are close with me now. Everyday I will put on my mask, walking around and pretend that I'm happy.
Many times, I had come to this cliff to pour out my feelings and thoughts to the sea. The wind and the sea would reply me by soothing me with their breeze and sounds from the waves to calm me down.
I am able to make my way home now. I hope you are safe and happy wherever you are now. I miss you, Shizuru.
TBCWell, I will say this once, I'm a softie, yes, I am.. I'm just not cut out to write sad endings…. I had this as a back up if I can't stand people getting depressed or sad because of the other story.
Should I continue?
Pls r & r.